Change Your Image
mikamage
Reviews
Deadline! (2006)
Embarrassing to watch...awful...just awful...
I accidentally flipped to this show the other day thinking it was "Dateline", but ended up watching in awe at what turned out to be pathetic sub-public access drivel. I feel very, very bad for host Katie Daryl, as with each passing minute it becomes clear she is the lone "creative" force behind the show's ill-conceived and humorless segments, reflecting horribly upon her as a comedian. It is physically uncomfortable to watch her spout lame (and I mean lame) joke after lame joke, made worse by her clear conviction that she is being "edgy". The most harrowing is by far her on-the-street interviews, in which respondents frequently reply with "what are you talking about?", interpreted by her as an exclamation of comedic shock at her "kooky" statements, when it is clear to the viewing audience that people simply can't comprehend why she would say such moronic things. For 20 minutes I watched Deadline!, the game being to analyze this neurotic egomaniac narcissist and watch as she unwittingly embarrassed herself by repeatedly failing to be either funny or entertaining. I don't quite understand how Hdnet could approve this for television, the most likely answer being Katie Daryl self-finances it and thus as long as she keeps paying out of her own pocket Hdnet will let this cringe-inducing tripe ride. If so, I can only hope for her own sake she goes broke soon, although the damage to her prospective "career" as a mainstream TV host has likely already been done.
Quarantine (2008)
Minus Carpenter, it could have been better..
This film has some of the right elements to be a good horror film, if not too many cliché ones as well. Unfortunately, the few thrills are outweighed by the glaring faults. Characters with mallets and hand guns are easily devoured as our protagonists waltz in circles joyfully trying to film everyones demise, their ability to evade quite an impressive feat considering the television camera that constantly accompanies them.
Furthermore, Jennifer Carpenter as a reporter is a joke, which really derails the entire "reality" format of the script. What real reporter would expect to televise from inside a mens locker room, or ask a fire chief how he keeps his legs from burning when he slides down the fire pole in a skirt? You get the feeling shes more of a giggly adolescent working for a closed-circuit high school news program than a professional, creating many eye rolling moments. Fortunately she's shadowed by the world's most indestructible camera manned by the world's most dedicated camera man, who thanks to the films gimmicky format refuses to drop his camera even as the odds become overwhelmingly against them. I get it guys, keep filming when police officers and firemen are there to stick it to the man and get the shot, but when it gets to the point it's just you and your reporter buddy against a legion of quasi-zombies, I think its time to drop the cam.
Ultimately what it comes down to is Jennifer Carpenter inability to portray her characters descent into hysterical madness. Rather, it's almost like a light switch, where one moment she is calm and ambitious to witness every bit of gore possible, the next she's screaming uncontrollably and shaking to the point you think the camera man will actually have to slap her to get her to focus.
By the end of the film the absurdity level reaches a max, with the screeching fem lead practically begging to be slaughtered as the camera man KEEPS FILMING as they run for their lives from everyone else who is now infected. Oh well, I do suppose that if for some reason the police and fire men couldn't outlast the Mean Girl and her buddy with the 30 pound camera they probably wouldn't be so tough to brush past post-disembowelment.
Cha$e (2008)
Critically flawed
The entire concept of the show is based on "hide-and-seek": the contestants hide, and the "hunters" seek them out for capture. However, what about the camera man bounding behind a contestant? Do the "hunters" simple ignore these glaring indications of contestant location? Such forced ignorance renders the entire experience grossly artificial. Bottom line: a contestant could very well be caught just because a bloody camera man didn't jump in a trashcan with them.
Sci-Fi channel is a paradox in itself. It seems like every week a new "Sci-Fi original" movie, show, or series is released, suggesting there must be some kind of monetary gain involved. However, the writing is continuously bogus and the special effects are straight from 1995 (especially in the movies, freaking deodorant commercials have better sfx). I hope they cease soon; dignity is hard to keep these days and they're losing it fast.
The Gathering (2002)
Absolutely Terrible, Never Watch This Movie ::spoilers::
This contains spoilers so do not read if you actually plan on watching this terrible, terrible film.
Not often do I see a movie where I get more and more angry the longer I watch. The idiocy of the plot, the fact that all those that "gathered" to watch Christ die were all Caucasians, the secret church that has nothing to do with the plot at all, the gathering ghosts that are there to just "watch" but actually end up killing several people (Why? Are they Satanic now? There is no reason!), the forced message about second chances when the step-mom was just shot dead, this movie is terrible!
You cannot (cannot!) photo-shop a swastika on the Statue of Liberty and use the concept to make a shocking thriller about how it's actually a secret Nazi missile silo, just like you cannot use JFK footage to try and convince an audience that the ghost of Caucasian Christ haters were at the assassination of Kennedy. But wait, this movie did just that!
Ricci is as bad an actor as Reid in my book (yes, that bad) after watching this monstrosity. I feel like scratching the disc so no one else at Blockbuster will have the misfortune of sitting though this "exclusive."
Do not see this movie, ever!
Little People, Big World (2006)
Propogation of genetic diseases is not cute.
This show is troublesome to say the least. Dwarfism is not a normal human condition, it's in fact a serious genetic ailment with tremendous health consequences, and depending on form can often lead to an early death.
I am not against people having this condition, they can't help being the way they were born. I am completely against, however, two "little people" getting together and having dwarf children out of ignorance of their own conditions. Yes, they had one child which fortunately did not receive the trait, but their other child was not as fortunate.
It is not cute to see a dwarf child! He will face horrific health problems in his future. Dwarfism is not a race, species, or ethnicity of people, it is a terrible genetic disorder which is not to be taken lightly, and should never be purposefully or willfully given to a child!