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Sunshineyness
Reviews
The Adventures of Sinbad (1996)
Bad but good
Okay, so a white cast of white people play "arab" characters.
Okay, so it was even cheesier than Hercules and Xena.
Okay, so it was pretty damn bad.
But, you know what? It was oh so good. Believe me when I say that this show was so bad it was good. This show premiered during that period when Hercules and Xena was HUGE and the rage was trying to make other syndicated action series. And you know what? As a 14 year old I watched them all. I watched Robin Hood, I watched Sinbad, and I watched Beastmaster. And, let's face it- in the eyes of a 14 year old girl the hunk who played Sinbad was REALLY hot. Basically, the show for me is built around that. So, if you, like me, want to re-live your early pubescent hot fantasy. THIS was the show for you.
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (2005)
Bad... but darnet if I didn't cry.
Okay. Is the movie good? God no. It's cheap, overly sentimental to the point of sapification, and full of all that "OMG! Bset friends 4EVA!" crap. But dammit to heck, if I didn't cry like a baby.
And by the way, I am a girl.
And I have read all three books.
Wow. Amber Tamblyn can't act. No, seriously. She is one of those girls who has the air that they can act (as if they were sent to acting classes all their life and groomed for that life by a parent) but if you really watch her she is just doing an imitation of someone who can act. Like, you never get real emotion from her. It's hard to explain. I just don't like her. I dunno. And her story is the biggest provider of the maudlin over the top sap, ever. But I still cried. I'm an easy mark.
The girl who played Bridget seemed more fixated on her hair and her mouth doing weird things than her part... And, holy crap, could they have cast a worse looking dude to play Eric?! The whole time in the film I was screaming "Bridge! No! Can't you see his tips?!?! EWWW!" But, oh well. I'm sure the 12 year old girls thought he was a hottie. Her plot was always the best to me. The only one that seemed truly real. And the movie had it play out really good. I give them props for that. Only the book actually gave a description of Eric that actually made me understand WHY she wanted him, but... oh well. Just thinking of Eric's blond tips and LA Paul Walker-ish loser type makes me cringe even now.
Alexis Bledel was all right, as per usual. Nothing stellar, but it's nice to see her trying to do something non-Gilmore Girl-ish. And I will admit it, the dude who played Kostos was a hottie. And I liked how their plot (the biggest change from the books) actually played out a lot better than in the book. There. I said it. Really, and seemed a bit more real than in the book too. (I mean, explain to me how in the book it REALLY MAKES it seem like they're in love? She barely spoke a word to him, and spent all of two seconds with him. But, I digress) I loved the girl who played Carmen in "Real Women Have Curves" and she was pretty good in this too... although I have NEVER cared for the way her plot ends. *SPOILER* I know it was in the book too, but COME ON! She did NOT have to go to her father's wedding, and how lame was it that in the end he "really did love her" when his fiancée didn't even know what she looked like. You know what that implies? He doesn't even have a pic of her in his home/wallet. That's not a good dad. And I thought it would've been a less predictable and more realistic story to have him really just abandon her for a new family. Cuz, guess what, sometimes parents really DO do that. I know a lot of kids whose parents did that. Abandon them for a new family. I just thought it was a crap way out, that's all. Too perfect of an ending for me. But... oh well.
Okay, I admit it. There's something odd about these books and movie. I DON'T KNOW WHY BUT I CRIED! And as me and my female friend left the theater (both of us crying, even though we both thought it was a bad movie) we cooed, "oh my God. We need to share pants!!" There's something odd about it that it can make a girl do that. Because, it's bad, yet it hits you. Which is why I can't REALLY say I hate the movie/books. Because there IS something guttural and emotional that'll hit you in it, even though it's poorly written and the plots can anger you over how they turn out (meaning not deserved, not that it ended sad and you wanted happy. I'm saying the ones that ended too perfect. Like Carmen's) I dunno. It's bad... but goshdarnet I cried my eyes out. Haven't got a clue why though, lol.
Free Enterprise (1998)
Slightly Funny and Mildly Sexist
Okay... Some funny bits. Some funny character stuff about the nature of being a non-stereotypical geek. The actors feel flat and there isn't much really going on in the movie.
...but please.
Talk about sexist. You're telling me that guys like that who've spent their entire lives hanging in comic book shops, conventions, toys stores has NEVER ONCE RAN INTO ANOTHER FEMALE SCI FI GEEK! Oh! Until that magical day where he FINALLY DOES.
Yeah, okay, we're not all supermodels and have obnoxious breathy voices like that chick did. But hey, all the males ain't as attractive as those dudes were.
...But please. A large majority of my friends are geeks exactly like those guys were and a large majority of them are females. You go to opening night of Ep3 you are going to find a lot of women there... and no some of us will not be there because our boyfriends make us.
This movie just perpetuates the great myth. Women only care about shoes, they don't "get" Star Trek and comics OH! Except for one! Only one! But they never meet any others.
King Arthur (2004)
Rent Excalibur instead
Don't waste time and money on Jerry Brukhiemer's (sp?) version of Arthurian History. For the love of God- don't. The historical inaccuracies hurt my head. Not the idea that Arthur was real (although it might not have ticked me off if they hadn't said that there was proof in the opening teaser, the mere inclusion of a lot of characters immediately negates that) but there are many other little things that nag at me.
It is laughable whenever they allude to a part of the myth (I was in hysterics during the "sword from the stone" sequence.) Merlin (a character I much love and is instrumental in all tellings of Arthur) is diminished to an old man with two minutes of screen time and of little importance. The depiction of Guenivere is horrific to any lover of Arthurian legend. They made her a chick fighter for peet's sake! Poor Kiera Knightly she honestly thinks that she is a feminist for doing this.
The humor is very forced, to the point where after a joke is said you'll wait two seconds and go "oh, that was a joke... ha.... ha...
The guy who plays Arthur has one expression and he uses it the entire film. Even when he's getting some he still has his angry expression. When he is getting married he still looks angry. Oy. I just wanted him to try and crack a smile just once.
Without the magic and the wonder Arthur is a very dull and dreary tale. The themes are gone, (The closest thing to a theme this movie gets is war: bad, home/freedom: good) and the intrigue and the drama are gone. Just rent John Boorman's Excalibur, honestly, it is the best film representation of Arthur to date. Heck if that's out rent Camelot, that's better than this junk.
Dark Knight (2000)
Rent, don't Buy
Like most of the other users I rented this under the title "The Darkest Knight" It's pretty obvious after the first minute that this is a TV show edited to look like a movie. (You'll notice that there are two "sequals" in the video store. (I've only rented the first two "movies") Why they just didn't market it as a show I don't know, probably because to my knowledge it has never aired in my area.
Word to the wise: despite the cover picture there are NO DRAGONS.
The story is straitforward though Ivanhoe is more like Robin Hood. It's bad, but bad enough to be funny. I enjoyed it and thought it was funny. (A scene in the first episode is almost word for word from a famous Star Wars scene)
So, if you are of the opinion that bad things are funny this is a good one for you.
Possession (2002)
If only...
If only this movie could've just been the history story. It'd probably have been a lot better. I found myself throughout the whole story desperately waiting to get back to the past. The presant story dragged. Like in a lot of movies the back story is better than the front story. All in all, I thought it was pretty decent. All men presant were good looking and talented. (always a plus!) I just wish they wouldn't have kept so long in the presant story. Ah well, it was pretty okay overall.