miles670 Reviews

Evil Dead Rise (2023)

Started a little slow, then burnt out around the middle.

[5/10 · 10 May 2023]

To start with I am a massive evil dead fan. I loved the originals, I loved the change of direction the second movie took into being more comedic, and I loved the 2013 reboot that went back into horror territory. The 2013 movie really smashed it in my opinion with just enough nods to the original and an incredible cast (especially Mia). The writing for that movie was perfect and the actors played their roles perfectly.

This movie however, to be honest I was quite bored. The initial possession was fairly well done, the mother acted the part really well, though she wasn't close to as creepy as Mia, but I keep seeing people saying that something is missing in this movie and I think I know what it is. The mind games. In the other Evil dead movies the demons would be having fun playing with the living, terrifying them and actively seeking to make them lose their sanity. In this there's very little of that, just mom gets possessed, mom wants to be let in, people get cut up in some gory ways.

It isn't the worst horror movie I've ever seen or anything like that, but it isn't close to as good as I've come to expect from an Evil Dead movie.

The ending was particularly terrible though in my opinion, it went from a possession movie to a monster movie, something more akin to the thing or something similar to that. I don't understand the point of that transition at all. The horror and terror of these movies is the fact that the demon possesses humans and uses them to mess with the living, but in this movie the humans were barely human at all by the end, just some mess of arms and legs that you can barely see most of the time slowly chasing down the main characters. I really didn't like that decision by the writers.

I also didn't care about the characters, they all could have died and I think it would have been more satisfying, none of them were particularly likeable. None of them seemed to get any real development, and I feel like Evil Dead has always been great at character development. Both before and after possession, the characters are endearing, some bad ass, others scary, others funny and twisted at times. In this there's none of that, just 'this character is pregnant so you should care about her, this character is a child so you should care about her, this demon is evil so...' so what exactly? The demon in this seemed pretty stupid to me, it barely even tried to mess with of terrify anybody.

If you're a fan of zombie movies ya might like this actually, I'd say it has more in common with those than anything actually scary or creepy.

Such a shame, I was excited for this to come out, I won't be watching it again, the 2013 movie however I will go back to over and over again, Mia is the BOSS.

Plane (2023)

Fun movie, exactly what I expected

[8/10 · 6 February 2023]

"Plane" is a highly entertaining and thought-provoking film that explores the complexities of human relationships and personal growth. The talented cast delivers powerful performances that bring depth and emotion to the story. The film's visual effects are stunning and help to create an immersive and engaging world for the audience. The well-crafted script keeps the audience on the edge of their seat with unexpected twists and turns. Overall, "Plane" is a must-see film for anyone who loves a good story and top-notch filmmaking.

Overall I enjoyed this movie quite a bit. Budget was probably so so and they did well with it. Characters were likeable and the second main character is a beast that guy is built to all hell. Would recommend this movie for sure if you're looking to chill with a popcorn flick.

The Devil's Hour (2022– )

Capaldi helped, but I was bored.

[5/10 · 3 November 2022]

The story had a really interesting premise, the mixture of sci-fi and british realism was intriguing. Capaldi really played his part well as did the main protagonist.

I found myself rooting for them both but as the episodes went on what I was really sticking around for was the pay off, the conclusion and more of Capaldi doing what he's seemingly capable of in this show.

I didn't get any of that, the episodes were pretty boring for the most part, but they were building up something interesting to just enough degree that I stuck with it until the end. However, when the end came I didn't expect it to be the end, I even searched the internet thinking there must be more episodes I've missed. But no, there were no episodes. There was no ending in fact, no conclusion as such, no real explanation or finale. I don't want to spoil it for people so I can't say too much, just that I was at first confused at the lack of content, then I was disappointed at the lack of an ending, but then almost immediately I just thought 'Meh'. I wasn't even really that bothered by there not being more at the end because I realised I'd been bored for most of the series anyway.

I wouldn't waste my time on this again, I won't be watching any season 2 and I certainly wouldn't recommend this series to anybody. If you're looking for thrillers, mystery, or captivating drama, don't look to this. Look to Korea, they have 'Penthouse' for drama, 'Vincenzo' for thriller, 'Woo Young Woo' for light heartedness, 'Mr Queen' for your little time lapse schtick, and a million other things that have everything this show tries to offer and much much more.

Terrifier 2 (2022)

If you're disappointed by Halloween Kills, watch this.

[7/10 · 24 October 2022]

I liked the first because I thought the main character was done quite well, he was interesting and creepy with just enough quirk to him to not be a rip off of previous clown killers.

With this movie I think they really went all out to deliver the slasher, it's exactly what you would expect, gruesome, bad ass, and it uses practical effects which while to some may be a bit cheesy, to me reminded me of the good old days. As well as all of this they have a female lead that is acted well, written well, and delivers enough punch to make the audience root for her. Really well done guys. Good Job with this one.

I'd watched Halloween Kills a few days ago, what an utter disappointment that was, this perked me up a little because it showed that creators are still out there that are willing to give the audience what they want. This is certainly a little more supernatural than the previous rendition, but that's fine by me as it's carried off with just enough cheese to make it what it should be. Reminded me a lot of the golden days of horror in the 80's and early 90's. It maintains that feel throughout without ever feeling like a stranger things wannabe.

Whoever the heroine is in this btw, more of her please, her acting was perfect throughout.

Halloween Ends (2022)

It's like they're trolling the fans of the previous two movies.

[1/10 · 14 October 2022]

I don't understand what's going on here. Is it a troll? Will there be a proper movie released at Halloween?

You finally see myers for a brief moment about 50 mins into the movie, before that it's some teenage angst drama that doesn't make any sense in and of itself. I say you see Myers, but you don't, there is no Myers in this movie, not even a shred of him. There's a guy in a mask that kills a couple people, but in that guys first fight he's overpowered by a teenager.

I am honestly just stunned by how bad this movie was, it was over an hour before the first real kill. What did I even just watch.

X (II) (2022)

Strange, heartfelt, classic slasher

[7/10 · 15 April 2022]

I didn't know what to expect going into this movie. Some reviews said it was porn with some horror, some said it was a slasher B movie. Some said decent acting and a good gore fest.

It was all of the above, though I'd say less porn, there are some nude/sex scenes but they're really not the heart of the movie. The gore is well done, the acting is very good I think, and the overall slasher aspect is reasonable, though it could have been a little more creative.

Saying all of that none of it is what I'll remember this movie for. What really struck me in this movie was the portrayal of age and how it affects people and their relationships, I actually felt really sad for some of the characters in this movie, and that isn't usually how I'd expect to feel watching a slasher. It really did feel like the writers, directors,. And actors were trying to remind us of something whilst also making a decent slasher. I think it's to value our youth, and our lives as much as we can. I don't want to say much more as I don't want to spoil the movie. Needless to say if you're looking for a decent movie to check out I'd recommend giving this a go. It will entertain you and also make you think a little about the problems others have.

Fractured (I) (2019)

An absolute waste of time

[1/10 · 12 January 2020]

Nothing made sense in this movie. There were plot pieces that went nowhere, repeated messages that were highlighted as if they were important but meant nothing. Acting that made absolutely no sense given the situation. The ending was a complete mess.

Yet there are people here giving this 9 and 10 stars. Hell one person even said it should be nominated for an oscar.

This was absolutely terrible.

The Twilight Zone (2019–2020)

So sad

[2/10 · 18 April 2019]

I don't know if I'm just a little spoiled with things like black mirror and such, but I was so excited for the return of this, and I did know that it would be difficult to re-create what was a pretty masterful series of it's time but...

I genuinely can't believe how lazy this is, four episodes in and I kept thinking 'It's a story by story episodic piece, maybe they'll hit the nail on the head at some point'.

I'm now four episodes in, and you know something, I'll probably keep watching just because I REALLY want them to pull something out of the bag.

Maybe there will be one good episode.

I feel like they have the funds to do it, but I've been disappointed, sorely disappointed, by every episode so far, it really has been a complete waste of time up until this point.

There is no twist worth mentioning, no story that is in any way compelling, the characters are somewhat relatable but not to any degree that makes them interesting more than where they might go, but they go no where.

If you loved the twilight zone, the original, please watch black mirror.

Do not watch this, it's just so lazy, and I do mean that, whoever wrote and directed this, didn't give a damn about fans of the original show, in fact, I don't think they give a damn about anybody that actually paid to see this silliness.

Kill List (2011)

Paid for reviews suck

[16 November 2014]

I watched this because thee were decent reviews of it flying around the net and here on IMDb too. It was utterly stupid, it wasn't at all scary and the plot didn't even try to make sense. I can only presume that whoever made this has a lot of money to throw around because I guarantee nobody would buy after seeing the script. Not even an attempt at explaining anything, not even a coherent storyline tbh and it isn't that i don't get complex story lines I usually do but this was just one existent, as though somebody filmed a few scenes of torture then decided to make a movie out of it. A lot of the reviews say this is for some reason 'unsettling', there's one scene where a guy gets his knee beaten in with a hammer, that's the only cringeworthy part. Seriously this movie made no sense, at all.

Long Island Medium (2010– )

Suckers everywhere

[1/10 · 26 August 2014]

A woman makes money by conning people, seems like a good TV show. I have sympathy for those that think such cons are in their best interests but when it comes to the internet there really should be no pardon for his kind of crap. What kind of person do you have to be to make a living doing this? I get that these people are professionals when it comes to seeming nice and likable, that's their job after all, but in 2014 how the hell are people still buying it?

Apparently I can't pad this review out with junk like the show does most of its episodes so I'll leave it here and hope it's enough.

Sigh.

Noah (2014)

A religion hatin' atheists review

[8/10 · 6 July 2014]

I had to write this review because I came to IMDb to see what others thought of the movie and there was hate everywhere. I didn't expect to enjoy this at all especially after seeing all the negatives reviews being given for it. In truth it's pretty brilliant. The effects are good, the story is good and you feel noahs pain throughout. I don't know how accurate it is concerning the original story but who cares it's just a story. The acting is typical of crowe and hermione I guess but it's good. If you get a chance to watch this I don't think you'll regret it, I certainly don't.

I can only presume that all the bad reviews are Christian trolls or something like that because thinking back to what they said none of it seems accurate, it isn't packed full of 'filler' as people have said and it sure as hell isn't boring.

The characters are much more complex than you'd expect from the noahs ark tale but I love it. I am very impressed by this, shocked at how well it's done tbh. It isn't fundamentalist in any way and in fact there are scenes that show evolution in some very pretty detail.

I can see why Hermione said she doesn't think we should be able to tell whether it's set in the past or future, it's really clever how they've done it but I don't want to include any spoilers so I'll just say watch and form your own opinion. I think it's in the future, but I could be wrong I think the director leaves it up to us to decide xD Really good. Watch it and review it if you've got the time, can't be letting these religious cry babies sully a decent movies name.

Teen Titans Go! (2013– )

Money making crap

[1/10 · 4 July 2014]

They knew people loved the original teen titans but they didn't have the skills to continue it, so instead they created a cheap children's version in the hopes that the old fans would buy it.

Seriously this isn't just disappointing it's insulting. The creators of this idiocy are knocking down awesome foundations to build a burger king and I for one am not dumb enough to buy it. This show needs to be torn down. The creators need to be put down and the original series needs to be finished.

To the idiots that made this, if you had made just one season wrapping up the original series you would earn ten times more cash than you will from 10 seasons of this crap.

If anybody needs one line to describe how much they f***ed the old series in the ass here I'll put it simply, Raven is a f***in' "bronie". I s**t you not.

Makes me sick.

Fargo (2014–2024)

Good show pity about the end

[7/10 · 22 June 2014]

A lot of people have already sang this shows praises and it is deserving of them as I enjoyed it very much. Much more than the movie in fact.

I had to write this though because nobody seems to have a problem with the ending and I don't understand that. We had a great storyline in which the characters interactions all made sense and yet still led to surprise and intrigue, followed by the last few episodes which frankly did not do the rest of the show any justice at all.

So one of the best contract killers I've seen is killed by an ex-cop that thought 'I'll just follow that wolf I saw in the road, randomly, for no reason, in the middle of nowhere'.

Then he by chance finds the killers cabin, but waits for him to leave, doesn't call the cops, just sits there hoping that when he returns he won't do what he's always done and kill him to death? Then is lucky enough for the professional to get back injured, and put his gun down out of arms length? Shame, kinda ruined it a bit for me. Like the writers quit and someone asked their teen to think up the final episode.

An American Haunting (2005)

Acting decent, ending will make you wish you hadn't.

[1/10 · 18 May 2014]

For the most part it's an average haunted house movie with decent actors but that ending actually made me annoyed at having wasted over an hour and a half of my life on this. Remember that feeling you got when you watched the last episode of 'Lost'? Well that's the feeling right there, only at least in this case in exchange for less wasted time.

So ghosts hurt and rape a girl, they do this in front of witnesses whilst the girl levitates etc. The ghosts also take a a tree out to keep the girl from leaving the home. They also hurt her father.

Despite all of this it turns our that her father was the one hurting her, raping etc. The twist at the ending I think was supposed to be that the girl created the ghost herself to protect her from her father. This is the same ghost that for most of the movie is beating the crap out of her.

Not to mention the fact that multiple witnesses watched the girl being raped by thin air. Only for the directors to seemingly forget this later on, no guys nobody saw her being raped by a ghost, it was her father! It was just a trick of the light kept us from seeing him.

Disjointed, contradictory and very much not worth wasting your time on. It's a good job we have piracy, there was a time you'd have to pay to watch this rubbish.

Evil Dead (2013)

People are stupid

[10/10 · 1 July 2013]

I just saw the lead review saying not impressed. He/she's an idiot.

I'm still only halfway through the film and I have to admit that it's with doob in hand that I rushed to IMDb to see if others thought this was as awesome a I did. As a big fan of the old films I didn't expect much from this but the director has done what I doubt anyone else could have, and re-made the classic with the style, horror, and cringe worthy scenes it deserved. There's just enough similarities with the odd slap in the face for those that remember the originals well. I was unsure about the people at first, but then I was the first time I watched evil dead, and the characters in this have so far played their parts masterfully. I won't spoil the film for you, but I'll say this, only evil dead can do evil like it should be done, and it takes excellent character acting to pull off that unique style.

Tl;dr Love it, hope there will be more. Can't believe the director pulled it off, Hollywood sucks at evil these days.

Defiance (2013–2015)

As the other guy said, they cancelled firefly and are funding this.

[5/10 · 11 June 2013]

I'm sure some people remember 'Lexx' from the end of the nineties. I remember it managed to keep my attention despite a seemingly low budget as it had some interesting characters and it must have had decent writing to some degree. This is similar in quality to lexx cinematography wise, but unfortunately it's struggling to provide a storyline that makes me care. I've just decided not to watch the 7th episode simply because I watched the other 6 in the hopes that it would 'become' something. It hasn't. It seems like they're trying to get people to like the main female character and completely failing. She isn't likable at all, she's a spoiled brat with daddy issues and SPOILER now she's magic. In firefly we had a similar 'magic' character done well, not just well, but done fantastically, not so here. I doubt people will get a second season of this, it's bound to make a loss.

Sexy Evil Genius (2013 Video)

Deceivingly clever

[9/10 · 12 April 2013]

The other guy that reviewed this film as a disappointment is way off the mark in my opinion. The first scene didn't bode well it felt like the plot was going to be predictable so at that point I didn't expect to enjoy it. Luckily it's the only film I had so I watched anyway and despite that first scene the rest of the film was written perfectly and I can see how it drew such an interesting cast.

I like mind games especially when they're executed with real intelligence along the lines of what some of the really good Japanese animators can pull off. The lead character in this certainly managed to provide that and again I have to differ with the other reviewer in that throughout the movie I thought she was getting sexier and sexier, I do love the crazies though.

The cast played the parts very well and I was kept guessing until the very end but what impressed me most about this film is that I was left extremely satisfied with the outcome.

I think it's a shame this movie has such low votes as I'm not an easy person to please film wise in fact I've avoided linking my google account to IMDb for over a year because I'm paranoid but I had to say something when I saw the bad rap this was getting.

Tl;dr If you like intelligent mind f***ing movies/books/animation you'll definitely recommend this to a friend despite the slow start.