shine67 Reviews

Spin Me Round (2022)

Scratching my head

[6/10 · 27 May 2024]

I'm not sure what I just watched. I added this to my watch list, and it sat there for awhile. Today, I saw it and thought it's time to try it out. I had forgotten the premise, and I purposely didn't read the description or watch the trailer because one of my favorite things to do is watch a movie without knowing a thing about it. I mean, how often do you get to do that nowadays? Typically you at least read a plot summary on the streaming site beforehand, but because it sat on my watch list for so long, I at least knew that at one point the trailer hooked me.

I kept waiting for the movie to make sense, and it never really did. The main character gets thrown intosome awkward situations, the supporting characters are "wacky," and the tone never really gets set.

And I still have no idea why it's called Spin Me Round. Was she spun around by all that was going on around her? Not really. She was thrown off, confused maybe, but if someone is going to be "spun around," I need to see more than just her running around during the last 15 minutes.

All that being said, I thought the individual performances were great for the most part. I enjoyed the movie well enough, but in the end, it just wasn't very cohesive.

The Sleepover (2020)

Silly fun

[8/10 · 25 May 2024]

This movie delivered just what I wanted it to. It's not Oscar material obviously, but it made me laugh. It didn't reinvent the wheel or think too much out of the box, but it hit its beats, keeping the story moving along.

I read a review that said only tween girls would enjoy this, and maybe that's why I liked it. I was reminded of the silly movies of my own childhood, like Adventures in Babysitting or Weird Science, kids on an adventure, learning from each other along the way. It made for a fun little diversion from my adult life.

A special shout-out to Cree, as the main character's best friend. The girl has terrific comic timing. I upped the review by one star mostly just for her.

Sentinel (2024)

Nope

[1/10 · 25 May 2024]

Just the other day I saw a movie that was so bad, I gave it one star. At the time, I never would have guessed I'd see another terrible movie so soon. It's like the gods of cinema are punishing me for not turning off the TV and getting out of the house more often.

This was complete trash. Poor acting, writing, direction, sets, score, cinematography... You name it, and this film failed. Even Michael Pare couldn't raise this above 1 star, and he typically adds at least a little something to the many B-movies he's made. (Though this isn't even a B-movie, it's a Z-movie. No, it's a ZZZZZZ-movie.)

I won't go into specifics, but believe me, even if I did, I wouldn't have to mark this as "spoilers" because there is absolutely nothing I this film that I could spoil more than was already spoiled by the folks behind this trash.

Do NOT waste your time, please!!! I say this as a friend. True, I don't know you, but I'll temporarily become your friend just so I can warn you to stay away.

Kiss the Boys (2006 Video)

PU

[1/10 · 15 May 2024]

Talk about a stinker.

If I'm in the right mood, I can really love a good cheesy film. Well, I was in that mood today, but I was oh so completely disappointed.

Bad in every sense of the word. Bad writing, acting, directing, score, cinematography, sound... you name it. I watched it because it seemed like it would be campy, but it can't even do that right.

And if you're going to make a cheesy film about a man killing male models, you really need to up the skin quotient, which was also sorely missing. This couldn't even reach the very low bar set by David DeCoteau's films.

This was on Tubi, so I expected very little going into it, and it couldn't even come close to the expectations I had. If a film is even half-way decent, it warrants a 6/10 from me, so you can imagine how bad this has to be to get a 1/10.

Please do not even waste your time thinking it could be fun. It's not.

It Comes at Night (2017)

The ending was NOT worth the wait.

[2/10 · 29 April 2024]

I'm a big fan of most of the films released by A24 productions. I love slow build-ups more than jump scares because slow build-ups leave you feeling ill at ease for a longer time. And I did feel the tension throughout the film.

What I won't forgive is an ending with little pay-off. Was this whole movie just made to say that humans are screwed because we don't trust each other or don't know how to get along or we all have some darkness in us that will end up being our undoing? I believe that most people should know that by now.

I don't need a film that gets into the psyche of the characters when that psyche has nothing new to offer. I kept waiting for some big revelation, some different way to view this scenario, but it never came. Just people doing exactly what I expect people will do if they're ever in this type of situation.

I don't care that we never really know what the outbreak is or what caused it. The "IT" is fear, I suppose, but that doesn't ONLY comes at night, so the title makes no sense. I don't even care that this was marketed as a horror film, as many of these reviews are saying. I watched it about 7 years after it first came out, so I don't even recall the marketing. I'm just writing this to warn people that nothing of interest happens in this movie, so watch at your own risk. And if you end up screaming at your TV at the end, don't blame me.

The acting was top notch, and the film was well made, so I should give this around 5 stars, but the story is SO lame that I'm deducting 3, leaving this as a 2 star review. Such a disappointment, especially from A24.

Self Reliance (2023)

Missed opportunities

[5/10 · 12 February 2024]

I love a quirky movie. And I love seeing a unique story. And Anna Kendrik always makes me smile. This movie checked all of those boxes, yet it still came up short.

The story didn't go anywhere. It could have had some fin action, but it barely did. Or it could have leaned into Jake Johnson learning lessons, but again, it barely did. Or it couldhave been an adventure through unique landscapes filled with odd characters, but it barely was. Those elements were all present, but to such a small degree that it just left me wondering what point the film was trying to make, which in turn just left me with an "eh" feeling when it was all done.

I did laugh quite a few times. The movie had a lot of great character actors that understand comedy. So at least it had that going for it. And I thought the leads gave good performances. I just wish they were given a better, focused script.

A Week Away (2021)

Fun. Not groundbreaking, but fun.

[7/10 · 10 February 2024]

I figured this would be a teen musical with some religious references and average acting, and that's what I got, BUT I didn't expect the kids voices to be so good. The dialogue was expectedly fun and cheesy (if not always clever) without smacking you over the head with god, BUT the choreography was very spirited. (No pun intended, seriously just thought that's the best word to describe it.) The rapport between the 2 main guys was excellent, the lead actor and actress had decent chemistry, and the second lead actress was charming. Only the "villian" guy annoyed me due to a cliche character and hammy acting.

I'm not religious at all, not one iota, but I don't come down on others if that's what they choose to believe, and one of the best things about this movie is even with all the references, I didn't feel like it was trying to convert me. There are MANY mainstream movies with god messages equal to this, where characters pray to be saved or forgiven. My point is, I don't want people to be turned off by the religious aspect of this. They'd be missing out on a fun, cheesy, uplifting, sweet, silly movie.

Leave the World Behind (2023)

Botched the ending

[6/10 · 9 December 2023]

I am so sad. Great, thoughtful acting. Fantastic, inventive directing. Eerie, compelling score. Great character study, particularly when Julia Roberts and Mahershala Ali shared the screen. And then... a totally butchered ending.

Without giving anything away, one character is roaming through a house, and I turned to my husband and said, "Watch. They're going to find a DVD." And they did, and then the credits rolled. C'mon! What a joke. And it really had me drawn in up until that point. I guess they were going for irony, maybe, but it was just eye-rolling.

Also (sort of spoiler), Tesla's require GPS to self-drive.

I usually hate putting anything spoiler-ish into a review, but the movie was ruined by these two things. This could have easily been 8 or 9 stars otherwise. Worth watching for the performances, especially if you love these actors.

Candy Cane Lane (I) (2023)

Unique story, fun on a (very) simple level

[7/10 · 5 December 2023]

This is no Christmas Classic, BUT it was enjoyable. The story has some plot holes, but so do Marvel movies, classic films, and other mass-appeal blockbusters. It could have done with some streamlining, but I found myself laughing throughout. It didn't feel like 2-hours to me, but I let myself sink into movies, and they really need to drag to feel long.

The special effects were decent, particularly the little figurines. The acting was fine, the leads had chemistry (contrary to what I've seen some people write), and the kids were NOT annoying/cloying/precocious, which is a HUGE plus for any movie, but particularly for one taking place at Xmas.

I can think of many worse ways to spend some downtime in front if the TV.

Based on a True Story (2023– )

Where was the resolution?

[5/10 · 12 June 2023]

Here's the thing... It's a fun and funny show. The leads all carry their parts well, especially Kaley Cuoco. (It's a different character than the one she did in Flight Attendant, but the energy is very much the same, which is a good thing.)

My issue with the series is that there was no resolution. They set everything up for a season 2, but all of the storylines of this first season are unresolved. There are so many shows that know how to do this much better. In this day-and-age of remarkable TV writing (and again, this show had some great writing), it's inexcusable to me to not land the ending. It doesn't need to be a 10/10, but at least give us a 7/10, a B-, a 73% tomato, or whatever you want to call it. Even "The Boys", this same creator's other big series, wraps up the storylines each season while also setting up new ones for the next season, so they should have some vague idea as to HOW to do this. It's just annoying to watch the entire season, get invested in the show and it's characters, and then have absolutely no significant ending to anything. Makes it feel like I wasted my time.

Not sure if I'd give a 2nd season a try, based on how cheated I feel.

1 Night in San Diego (2020)

Just don't do it.

[1/10 · 8 December 2020]

This movie was so bad. SOOOO bad. Bad acting, bad camera-work, bad script. I like goofy comedies, really, but this was neither goofy nor a comedy. It tried really hard, it did. The problem is it looked like it was trying really hard, and that kills it right there. Good comedy seems effortless. Forced comedy is just lame.

Want to know how bad this movie really is? As of this writing, there are 18 reviews that give the movie 10 out of 10 stars, and each review consists of a sentence or two. If that doesn't reek of someone trying to push the ratings up, then you're not paying attention. And if the filmmakers have to create bogus reviews, how can you even have faith in the what they've "created"? I can't emphasize this enough, even the people behind this movie have no confidence in it and know how bad it is.

There's not much else to say about the movie itself, because there's not really a movie here. Just know that when you see this many good reviews, especially when the reviewer can't even be bothered to write more than two sentences, there is something very fishy going on.

The Invisible Man (I) (2020)

A decent movie, but just that

[7/10 · 10 October 2020]

I wanted to like this. I love a good horror movie. I'll take a good scare over gore. (Gore can be useful if used correctly, which so few movies do.) This movie has some decent scares, and very little gore (barely any in my eyes, though others may see more), so I should really like it. But it's just decent. Not necessarily a bad thing, but nothing to rave about.

I like the message. It's important to see an allegory of how women are treated just as much as Get Out was important in its themes. And Elizabeth Moss really inhabits the part. My issue is with the characters. They're either so thin that you can't imagine them existing when not on screen, or they make the strangest decisions that are so not in character. No real spoilers here because these are things you can determine just from the premise, but are we really supposed to believe that characters who got along so well suddenly turn on each other over a slight misunderstanding, or refuse to believe each other. And the main character has so many chances to back up her story, but she never shares them with anyone. That's Lame-Horror 101.

In the end, I feel like I've watched an average horror movie. Not a bad one, but one that's just decent enough to provide a few jumps and a handful of smiles at its few clever moments. I don't feel like my time was wasted, but I won't be rewatching this one.

Flexing with Monty (2010 Video)

What did I just watch?!

[5/10 · 26 April 2019]

I like odd movies, unique movies, movies that try to tell stories in new ways. That part of me loved this movie. But the other part of me wants to know what I just did with the past 90 minutes of my life.

I'm not sure if the film was trying to say something deep or just be campy. The dialogue was silly, but the actors delivered their lines with full dedication. Trevor Goddard was perfect for his role. He's always been fun when I've seen him in different guest spots, and he brought all that personality to this part. He's a great physical actor, too, really using his space well. Rudi Davis, as his brother, held his own, and I thought they played off of each other really well. I've never seen him before, but he was a joy to watch.

But still, in the end, maybe the film was just trying a little too hard. Or maybe not hard enough. It's really a tough call because I was entertained for sure, but I'm not sure who I would ever recommend this movie to. Please watch it if you have time to waste, if you enjoy something different, if you are not easily offended and if you're stoned. I wasn't, but I think it might have been a lot more fun if I was. You just need to let yourself get lost in it.

Vampires: Brighter in Darkness (2011)

NO

[1/10 · 3 April 2018]

I realize a "helpful" review typically tells you a little about the good and/or bad of a movie, but trust me when I just say "NO."

Walking on Sunshine (2014)

Why?!

[2/10 · 16 August 2017]

A rom-com with fun 80s songs. What a fantastic idea! Too bad this happened.

Subpar directing, a wholly tired and clichéd plot, acting on par with a first year community college class, average looking unknown cast (yes, looks aren't that important, but when the film has so little going for it, every bit helps) and unpleasant singing that removes the fun from what should be awesomely cheesy and joyful 80s songs.

I was home sick today and watched this because I thought it would be a light "nothing" of a movie. I won't make a joke about it "making me even more sick" or "helping to induce sleep," because all this movie really did was too wimpy to achieve even those goals.

You might flip the channel and catch 5 minutes of this and think, "oh, this could be fun." It isn't.

Hellraiser (1987)

"Horrid", not "Horror"

[1/10 · 12 March 2005]

I'm near 40 and just saw this movie for the first time last night. I had always wanted to see it because of the good things I'd heard and due to Pinhead's place as a horror movie icon. I think this is one of the most god-awful pieces of film ever. I know (for whatever reason) some people LOVE this thing, but I found it to be a complete waste of time.

Other users have claimed it had first rate acting. I don't know what films they're comparing this to, but these "actors" are awful. As for gore, this has no more gore than half of the other horror or action movies out there. The "special effects" are cheesy (except for the make-up). There were many movies out before 1987 with higher quality special effects (in fact, these were so bad that I hate to even label them as "special"). Finally, I've seen scarier torture scenes in other movies made both before and after this one.

There was no suspense or build up of tension because I found myself laughing too often, and it wasn't even silly enough to be campy. All in all, except for the make-up (Pinhead is a scary-looking icon for a reason), this was total garbage. You want tension, rent Halloween. You want suspense with gore, rent Alien. You want suspense without gore, rent The Others. Just do yourself a favor and don't waste money on this. Extremely disappointing.