lucas739 Reviews

The Fall Guy (2024)

Meh!

[6/10 · 22 May 2024]

Watchable nonsense. Blunt seemed a little miscast as Colt's love interest, the chemistry wasn't great.

The use of a unicorn seemed dumb and obvious. Also the 'wrapped in bacon' waffle was unnecessary. The plot was garbage and the peripheral characters were instantly forgettable.

Some tighter editing resulting in a shorter film would have been beneficial.

On the plus side you get stunts, lots of them, but little else really. The irony is that the film that was being made as part of the story actually looked like it could have been a better watch.

In summary, not bad with a few oohs and ahhs but it won't stay long in your memory.

Arcadian (2024)

Grootesque

[4/10 · 5 May 2024]

There really is nothing to like here. I gave it 4 star, which is generous.

It's effectively an extremely ropey teen horror flic with a side serving of Nicolas Cage.

In the film he has two of the worst kids you could imagine, the sad thing is they survive this mess and Cage bites the dust, though i suspect he had it written in to his contract that he could spend half the film unconscious or dead.

The 'creatures' look like Groot rejects, they have this ability to extend their fingers into what looks like a decent weapon, but when one is captured, it shows no desire to exercise its skill set.

The scoring for this piece of excretia will be artificially inflated because of Cage's presence but even his modest efforts can't save this awful mess.

Babylon Berlin (2017–2025)

Glorious

[9/10 · 23 March 2023]

What a tremendous series this is. So well made with superb performances from all the cast. It all seems period correct. I keep scanning the backgrounds in the scenes to see if i can spot errors like modern street lights etc but to no avail.

This period in German history is not very well known to a lot of people, the politics, the strife, the decadent nightlife, they all come to the fore in this excellent series.

I'm currently in the middle of the fourth series and it still keeps on delivering quality entertainment of the highest level.

As others have said you must watch it in German with English subtitles, that way the quality acting shines through, i imagine dubbed would sound horrendous.

I'm now hoping for a fifth series.

Infinity Pool (2023)

Infinity Poo

[4/10 · 18 February 2023]

Gave up on this after an hour or so. Some good acting but it's a disjointed mess. Story isn't laid out clearly enough, from the outset it was a chew getting into it. The sub par graphics were a good match for this sub par effort. Now, sadly, i need to flesh out my review to meet the required 600 characters. I thought they had dispensed with this nonsense. Some films only require a short sharp shock review not an elongated foray into the intellectual properties of the film in question. Well, i hope that is enough characters. Wish me luck while i submit my review.. Well, i'm back for more, this is pretty pathetic really.

The Postcard Killings (2020)

Watchable

[6/10 · 4 April 2022]

Not a bad film, a bit generic but several cuts above your Bruce Willis offerings (not a high benchmark). Morgan carries the emotion which Pancake Janssen is incapable of, she couldn't crack a smile unless you whacked her with a baseball bat. What she's done to her face is chilling.

Expired (2022)

Tectonic speed

[4/10 · 25 March 2022]

This film tries to be deep and meaningful with a distinct Blade Runner skyline interspersed with real, busy street scenes. It just fails to ignite, the story isn't clear, Weaving is under used and the male lead has to be the most scruffy, miserable SOB i've ever come across.

His mumbling frustrates as do the extended scenes where nothing happens, without even minimal (poor) dialogue to break it up.

The girl has the sort of face that'll get work and , no doubt she can act.

Hugo was doing his bit for Oz, that's fair enough, the other two leads need to dust themselves off and try again.

No Time to Die (2021)

De-Bonding!

[7/10 · 21 November 2021]

This is not a critique of the latest Bond offering, which is in itself an above average effort from the Martini man, to be honest any Bond film that doesn't have Roger Moore's crimplene flares on show is OK by me.

No, this is about the actual death of James Bond, never happened before but now we're left with the removal of the number 007 from the man himself, freeing up producers to have their wicked way with potential replacements. I heard Ru Paul has offered her services. A breasted bond there should never be, unless those breats are pecs.

I feel the franchise hangs by a knife edge, if they go PC it's dead.

Red Notice (2021)

Meccano Movie

[5/10 · 20 November 2021]

Underwhelming is my take on this film. Everyone's luvvie, Mr Reynolds, does his Ryan Reynolds thing...again, the Rock is, well, the Rock and Gal Gadot provides the eye candy filling to this bromance sandwich.

Tiresome series of action set pieces that all look like they've been lifted from classics from the past.

No blood so it's toddler safe, no character depth so you're not investing in their fates.

Instantly forgettable pulp that just about merits 5 stars.

Warning (II) (2021)

Warning

[5/10 · 31 October 2021]

Not the worst film i've seen recently but it certainly isn't the best either. Mildly interesting, decent acting, passable fx. Just adds up to a 'meh' Great for inflight bedtime entertainment or for retrieval from a supermarket discount bin, just don't expect your socks to be blown off.

Last Man Down (2021)

Horrific!

[1/10 · 20 October 2021]

So bad its kind of funny. Vanity project for a bodybuilder who's resume is full of uncredited 'roles'. There really is nothing to save this. But you can save yourself by avoiding it. As of 12/12 there have been 7000 ratings given, of which 5000 have scored this wretched piece of fecal matter a straight 10 giving an arithmetic score of 9 out of 10, putting it up in Godfather territory. I suspect there are some bots at work creating these ridiculously inflated ratings. I suppose you need to have watched it to fully see how absurd a 10 rating is, and so may of them too.

Resident Alien (2021– )

Instant Classic

[9/10 · 18 September 2021]

Everything about this show just hits the spot. Alan Tudyk is great but so is the whole cast, the sheriff especially, has me in stitches. I'm so glad Mr Tudyk has struck gold with this series, he deserves the accolades. Properly managed this series could have a lot of life in it, alien life included :) This will be a top selling Christmas box set.

Riders of Justice (2020)

Oscar winner surely!

[8/10 · 20 August 2021]

It is an extremely difficult task to present mental disabilities, comedy and bullets to the head, and weave them in to a successful film. But this is exactly the case here, some genuine laugh out loud moments and some shocking scenes and all the while making it believable.

This film is destined to become a classic. Watch it before the English speaking remake inevitably arrives.

The Rebels of PT-218 (2021)

Absolute Gash!

[2/10 · 16 August 2021]

This is one vicious toe curler. Relentless in its ability to get everything wrong. The poor acting was outdone by the cgi, the submarine looked like it was in a bath tub. I knew right from the off that it stunk, but i held my nose hoping for an improvement but instead i nearly asphyxiated!

The Intergalactic Adventures of Max Cloud (2020)

A Bit Of An Enjoyable Mess

[6/10 · 28 May 2021]

I began watching this and found myself viewing it through my fingers. But once adjusted to the overt camp, vaudeville, Flash on a tight budget vibe, it became watchable and eventually quite enjoyable. I think Adkins hits the spot as a Buzz Lightyear type. This is a low budget spoof with its tongue firmly in cheek, a send up of several sci fi films of the time.

Go on, give it a go.

Adverse (2020)

Mickey Rourke's Hairline

[3/10 · 26 March 2021]

Yes, that distinctive join between Mickey Rourke's hair management system and his scalp is the most riveting part of this film, the rest is just a poor facsimile of a terrible film. I don't know what acting method the lead actor used but i'm guessing it was half an hour doing elvis poses in his underpants before each shoot.

This film mercilessly puts its boot on the neck of quality and presses down hard.

Umbre (2014–2019)

Excellent Series

[8/10 · 20 November 2020]

Gritty, very well acted piece of quality Romanian entertainment. There is some dark humour but don't watch this for laughs, watch it for the quality on offer, and if you're not European then it can be a cultural eye opener. I'm not sure if there is a dubbed version out there but i'd avoid that like the plague, stick to Romanian and subtitles I'm about to watch series 3 and can't wait. Happy watching.

The 2nd (2020)

Garbage

[3/10 · 11 October 2020]

Not a lot to like about this dung fest. Story was corny/generic, the hit squad was a collection of cartoon rejects, the judge's wife looked like she'd been pulled out of the rubber doll reject bin. Disturbingly the son had more stubble than his dad. The sword fight towards the end was a pathetic acoutrement.. It was an all round mess., i actually started laughing when the Russian member of the snatch squad kept reappearing after his numerous beatings. Wait for it to be streamed somewhere then watch it if you have to.

Proximity (II) (2020)

Not bad

[6/10 · 25 July 2020]

I'm on here to defend this film! It's not great but it certainly isn't rubbish, for me it falls into that rather wide category of watchable. Definitely not a 'i want the 2 hours of my life back' movie. Undercooked in parts and a little predictable but reasonable enough.

Color Out of Space (2019)

Bag of frogs

[6/10 · 1 March 2020]

Watching this had me wondering what score i'd give it. During the course of the film it went from an 8 down to a 1 and back up to a 4 Cage is subdued for most of the film but goes off at the end. Effects are straight from The Thing. Part corny, part scary, part pants, it's what it is...a bag of frogs.

Disturbing the Peace (2020)

Hmmm Disturbing, the Pearce (Yoda speak)

[3/10 · 22 February 2020]

Absolute tosh, only salvaged by being unintentionally funny. The closing scenes had me in stitches. Weak, nonsensical story acted out by, well i can't decide, WWF rejects and a sisterhood sporting poorly executed face lifts. Avoid unless you're morbidly curious or just want to have a laugh and poke fun.The humour lifts it from 2 to 3 stars.

Grand Isle (2019)

Fecal Force

[2/10 · 8 February 2020]

What is Mr Cage doing with his career? His ability to pump out utter dross on an almost weekly basis is impressive. He needs to shave that coconut matting off the back of his head, read a few decent scripts and get back into acting!

Pagan Peak (2018–2023)

Excellent reworking.

[8/10 · 21 December 2019]

I really enjoyed this first season of 'The Pass' Although it takes its initial cue from The Bridge and it's body discovered straddling the border, it soon becomes its own beast. All parts are strongly acted with particular credit to Nicholas Ofczarek who plays the male lead detective, and also Franz Hartwig who plays a suitably unsettling psychopath. Julia Jentsch is the glue that binds them together playing Ofczarek's partner. This is yet another Euro gem, there are plenty out there.

Rambo: Last Blood (2019)

Hmmmm

[6/10 · 11 December 2019]

A bit like a football match this was a film of two halves. In the first he recovers his adoptive daughter from the hands of child prostitution racketeers, and in the second he kills said racketeers in a series of violent and explosive take downs . Its predictable but never the less enjoyable, especially the second half. During his attempts to secure his daughter's whereabouts, he just walks towards the gang boss's place and ends up surrounded by armed henchmen. This results in a hideous beating and the girl's subsequent forced drugging and prostitution. a really, really bad idea and utterly brainless. The take downs were good and, though mortally wounded, he rides off into the sunset....... so we're not finished yet.

The Predator (2018)

Not too bad

[6/10 · 24 November 2019]

Being a big fan of the original film, all subsequent iterations have been mediocre at best, but generally poor. In some ways this film didn't disappoint. If you wanted to be brutal you could tear it a new one every ten minutes, but if you tease the cork out a little what you end up with is a reasonable action flick. For meTrevante Rhodes carries some weight on screen. He could be a big star as long as he doesn't fall down the actioner rabbit hole. For me there should never have been a franchise, only if it was backed by a huge studio with a large budget.

Maiden (2018)

It'll put wind in your sails.

[9/10 · 19 October 2019]

This is a documentary in essence,which might put some people off, but that's probably the best way to condense and convey the Whitbread into film length proportions. I'm old enough to remember the jibes floating around at the time " they'll be fighting over the hair dryer while the boat runs aground" type of nonsense. These were tremendous sailors with great courage, greater cahonies than 99% of men. The swimsuit stunt was a mistake i thought but equally i can see it as one in the eye for the men, perhaps that would have looked great on the leg they won.. Tracy Edwards and her stellar crew deserve all the plaudits we can give. A fresh look at their achievements is a timely reminder that womens rights and respect for women in general, though slow to change, never the less has its compass pointing in the right direction.