beyondwords Reviews

The Hustle (I) (2019)

Dreadful, dreadful remake

[1/10 · 1 July 2020]

"Dirty Rotten Scoundrals" was a light-as-air romp through the French Riviera, with Steve Martin's earnest goofiness and Michael Caine's urbane savoir-faire. This -- travesty -- is a disappointing muck of a much-loved movie that should have never been made. Trying to set Rebel Wilson up as a physical comedian was a disastrous decision. She doesn't have the body for it. That's no commentary on her size, but she just isn't funny. She has the eye-roll down pat, and that's about it. We went from Michael Caine gently explaining fine art and an appreciation for the better things in life, to Anne Hathaway conducting some sort of bizarre boot camp, trying for a few cheap laughs as Rebel Wilson collapses again and again over a hurdle in some sort of "training" exercise.

Rebel Wilson's turn as a crazed sister who had to be locked away for her own good was completely out of control. Steve Martin was crazed, but in a very controlled and deliberate fashion. Rebel asking to go to the bathroom, and then flinging up her skirts to reveal some sort of medieval chastity belt was frankly offensive. The look on Steve Martin's face as he found relief was unexpected and FUNNY.

For someone who was supposed to be a subtle and provocative seductress, Anne Hathaway's attempted seduction of their mark was awkward and embarrassing to watch. And the movie's switchup of making Rebel Wilson's character become the soft-hearted swindler and Anne Hathaway as the victim was an crude misstep in an attempt to distract the viewer that this movie was almost a line-by-line remake, without the soul and cutting humor. And then, the final indignity -- Anne Hathaway as the MUTE?!? Serioiusly? Oh, heck, why not -- the movie had already been ruined, so why not crown the whole mess with a rotten cherry?

Don't bother. That's 94 minutes of my life I'll never get back. Thank god it was on Hulu and I didn't have to pay theater prices for it.

Outlander: Both Sides Now (2014) Season 1, Episode 8

Frank's untold story is a wonderful addition to the Outlander story

[9/10 · 14 October 2014]

As an avid reader since 1994, I've probably read and re-read "Outlander" at least 15-20 times. I was always intrigued by the very slightly different British version, "Cross Stitch", because the British editors felt there needed to be a little more Frank in it to round out Claire' conflict between Frank and Jamie.

This is what I like about this series, and especially about this episode. Frank is more than a briefly-met character that gets disposed of fairly quickly. We experience Frank's anguish and anger at Claire's disappearance. (I LOVED the poster with the "mysterious Scotsman" and a rough sketch, including a 1,000 pound reward!) Mrs. Graham, the housekeeper, has a chance to explain what she believes to be the stone's powers, to his disbelief -- and yet, in a heart- tugging scene, we see that he is at least willing, in his desperation, to entertain the idea that falling through the stones might be possible.

Knowing how this book ends, and seeing how well it is progressing towards that end, I'm thoroughly enjoying the little side trips that simply round out the story and add to the depth of the characters. I was also pleased to see Hugh Munro included (although, really, that piece of garish amber was as big as a brick -- I had pictured something much smaller, that could be tucked away.)

The attempted rape scene was shocking and disturbing, just as it was in the book. I'm still waiting for Jamie to come into his own, and to be honest, while he was an intriguing character in the first half of the book, it wasn't really until the second half, after Claire's choice becomes clear, that Jamie's story begins to take on a stronger shape. So we have that to look forward to. :-) Leaving Jamie on the windowsill with a snarl on his face and Claire at the mercy of Black Jack Randall was a superb teaser for the second half of the series!

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 (2012)

An interesting ending

[7/10 · 18 November 2012]

All devotees of "Breaking Dawn" know exactly how the story ends, and there are no surprises in the plot and characters. If you have not seen the previous movies or have read the books, this movie would be incomprehensible, especially at the beginning. I was really hoping for a bit more of Bella's "awakening" and Edward's frantic efforts to prevent her death. It got lost at the end of Part I, and Part II picks up with a Bella who is in perfect control, if perhaps a mite thirsty. Bella's discovery of Jacob's new role in her life is also disappointing. Let's face it, Miss Stewart simply cannot act. Sad, but true. She's lovely to look at, but has an extremely limited range -- her anger at Jacob was comical, not threatening, and I saw no evidence of "motherliness" in her interactions with Renesmee -- she was more of a big sister. Breaking the book up into two movies made for two movies that were overlong for the limited story that was actually presented.

Having said that, the film's management of Alice's visions was a nicely done twist. As her visions began to unfold, I looked at my companion in horror -- "THIS wasn't in the book!" we hissed at each other. To be fair, the visions may have been in the book -- there is a delightfully sparsely-described interaction that leaves room for a broad range of dramatic invention.

Kudos to the director/producer or whomever created the final credits. At the end of such a epic, it was good to see all the characters that had appeared in all the movies being recognized so beautifully for their part in creating the whole fabric of the tale.

Let's face it -- no review is going to deter a Twi-hard fan from seeing this movie. And if you aren't a Twi-hard fan, no review is going to tempt you into starting, now. Will it be an enduring classic? Probably not. But it was a fun ride while it lasted.

Goodbye, Norma Jean (1976)

Absolutely the worst movie every made. Period.

[1/10 · 3 August 2007]

I remember bullying my then-boyfriend (now husband, in spite of my demonstrably bad taste in movies by wanting to even SEE this) to go see this in '76 when it first came out. He fought it, but being a guy, he finally agreed to humor me. About ten minutes into the movie, people started leaving -- it was THAT bad. I turned to him and said, "OK, you win. It stinks. Let's go." My punishment? We couldn't go -- we had to sit there and watch the WHOLE THING. Omigod, it must have been filmed by a blind man and edited a drunk and on crack. It was just an exploitively poor excuse for soft porn that happened to tack Marilyn Monroe's name on it. If I were her, I'd sue from the grave! When the final credits started to roll, he turned to me and said, "I'm sorry -- it was so bad that NO ONE should have had to sit through that." We still laugh about it, 30 years later, but it's definitely the top of the list as far as bad movies go!

Hairspray (2007)

Boring and embarrassingly bad

[2/10 · 30 July 2007]

I was SO disappointed with this movie! I had been looking forward to seeing what John Travolta could do with the role of Edna, and several of the songs are part of my own musical theatre "hall of fame". About half-way through, I was thinking seriously about leaving, but kept hoping that, somehow, this movie could be saved. Alas. John Travolta as Edna was far too distracting -- he is such an iconoclastic actor, I just kept shaking my head and thinking, "Oh, John -- you are SUCH a long way from 'Grease'!" I realize that touches like Michelle's Pfeiffer's blue eyeshadow and Christopher Walken's stiff-sprayed hair were supposed to be campy and fun, but they ended up being glaring distractions. Of course, the story line is so lame (plucky pudgy girl tries to integrate Baltimore in 1962 through dance) that perhaps the distractions are deliberate. The dancing was flat-footed and mediocre and lack energy -- one cannot hear "You Can't Stop the Beat" without wanting to get up and dance, EXCEPT at this movie!! I kept watching the dance finale with a vague car-wreck sense of fascination, waiting for the moment that announces energy and passion for the music and the dancing -- and sat there in disbelief and disappointment when the credits start rolling. *Sigh*.