Enkidu278 Reviews

The Goatherd (2009)

Completely awful

[1/10 · 13 March 2011]

This movie is just plain awful. It has a very shallow and predictable plot, and that is giving it a lot of credit. But you probably wouldn't notice the lack of purpose because you will be distracted by the worst acting imaginable. The actors are so forced, it becomes laughable. The movie would have been better in their native language because the poor acting and dialog could be masked.

The whole point of the movie is drawn out in a hugely artificial way. Things happen for no reason or explanation. The characters are moronic beyond words. The simple and obvious solutions to their predicament elude them in order to create more "complex" (laughable) tension.

Overall, stay away. Take your time and money elsewhere. Eating glue would serve more entertainment and be a better investment then this disaster.

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

Bad

[1/10 · 29 October 2003]

This movie lacks anything worthwhile. The story is rehash and the cinematics get annoying within the first ten minutes. Constant closeups and slow motion get too aggravating that this movie looses its entertainment value very quickly.

Although whenever one watches a movie, a bit of "suspension of reality" is to be expected. But with this movie, it becomes laughable and lame. I had flashbacks of watching "The Core" with some of the cheesier moments.

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Ugh...

[2/10 · 15 August 2003]

Bad horror movies rate along the same lines of pizza and sex for me, no matter how bad it is, it's still pretty good. As far as this movie goes, it is just plain bad. It tries to be scary, which at times it is almost funny. It tries to be art, but ends up becoming annoying and repetitive.

***May Contain Spoilers*** Pros:

*Good use of lighting and color. It really adds depth to the movie.

*A few interesting scenes; especially one that has the cop being shot in the head. It is nicely drawn out and adds quite a bit of anticipation to the film.

Cons:

*Acting is OK. The acting is not stellar, nor is it the worst I have ever seen. There are a few characters that are just plain annoying and really take away from the movie.

*Effects are poor to the point of just being down right stupid. Almost every prop used to depict some sort of `mutilation' is so blatantly made of rubber it makes it hard to really believe the scene.

* An attempt to film random scenes in negative print tries to make sections of this film appear `artsy', but fails miserably. The scenes really add very little content to the move and are way over used to the point of sheer annoyance. After the first 20, you just want to cry.

*It tries way, way too hard to be bizarre. Weird and strange movies are the best IMO, but this one just pushes the attempts to be strange to a new level. So much so that it becomes laughable.

*I thought horror movies would at least attempt to be somewhat scary. This one isn't.

Overall, it's not even worth the cost of a free rental.