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Reviews
Beyond Paradise (2023)
Stop these writers before they write again.
First of all, my background.
I have watched a lot of British detective shows:
New Tricks, Father Brown, Midsomer Murders, Agatha Christie stories and of course Death in Paradise. I liked Kris in Death in Paradise and liked most of his solutions in Beyond Paradise. The first season was OK, but as the second season has gone on, the writing and development of the characters is going into the absurd and sophomoric.
For example, Humphrey and Martha are supposed to be a loving and responsibly adult couple working on becoming parents and YET:
1. She agrees to be partner with an ex-boyfriend in her restaurant WITHOUT talking to Humphrey.
2. HE decides to buy a boat for them to live in WITHOUT talking to Martha.
3. THEY decide that LYING to a child services officer is OK. Is it about the color of their wallpaper? NOOOO, it is that they will be living on a BOAT not on land. And, OF COURSE if they do get found out, it will just be OK and cute.
LYING about child safety is not a cute plot twist.
And, oh yeah, Kelby, the kid constable. He's got a the hots for a Chief Superintendent... his superior of about five or six levels and is 12 years older. And, everybody thinks it's cute. There is all kinds of wrongness about this in policing.
Mrs Sidhu Investigates (2023)
Oh Puhleez, WTF??
First of all, what are my qualifications?
I have seen ALL of New Tricks three, four maybe even five times. I have seen all but the last detective for Death in Paradise. I have seen all the Father Brown and a lot of other British crime shows.
Where does this fall?
Off the table and whimpering in the leftovers bucket. I gave it good run - watching up to and including the 4th episode. While there were some good techniques used they were just in passing. Everything else was just so silly ridiculous in terms of non-funny slapstick, coincidences, presto-chango miracles they do a weeks worth of work or maybe a months worth in one afternoon.
Cuffs (2015)
Real Shame It Wasn't Renewed
I have watched a lot of British crime and police dramas over the past 10 years. This is one of the best. If it had been renewed, I would have watched every week. I liked the plots, the people and their interaction. In many of the crime and police dramas there isn't a lot of the character of the town. By being set in Brighton with its wide range of characters both residents and tourists, I thought the show was very interesting. It would have been another reason for me to watch the show on a regular basis.
I do see why it was cancelled.
It was too realistic about the effect of budget cutbacks on the UK police.
The Rookie: Feds (2022)
Oh, PUhLEEZ... what's next pie throwing teenage breaking the rules heart surgeons??
I have been a loyal fan of The Rookie from the very beginning, but when what's-her-name brassy rookie Simone Clark showed up, I cringed in every scene. It was just too much of the smart-mouthed, smarmy, over-the-top, big-boobed, I'm cool and smart because I am new to keep me watching. She's a friggin rookie FBI agent former guidance counselor who is supposed to be following legal standards to build cases against bad guys!! I could see the following scene in this show.
Simone shows up in another one of her blouses showing half her chest.
U. S. Attorney: Special Agent Clark, you can't testify wearing that.
Simone: Why not? That's how I distracted him so he didn't shoot me and the Pope.
U. S. Attorney: The Pope?
Simone: The Pope? Bishop? Whatchamacallit? I break the rules.
Avenue 5 (2020)
Imagine a Roadrunner Cartoon with Narration for Hours and Hours
First of all, I want to explain that I have no problem with off-beat or disgusting humor. I have watched hundreds of hours of American, British, Australian, and New Zealand sitcoms and variety shows. But, this is just abysmal. The first I tried to watch it, I had to stop at five minutes because it was so dull, boring and stupid. Then, I went back and watched the entire episode. I really reminds me of a drunk person explaining why it was so funny that their best friend ALMOST got hit by train. Just hilarious. You can see the supposed humor so early there is no surprise and then it is repeated so often, it is painful to watch.
So, how does it relate to Roadrunner cartoon, imagine that the narrator says "You are going to see a Roadrunner. He is very fast. Next you will see a Coyote who is very hungry and is not as fast, but he thinks he is very clever. Then they would show some of the cartoon.
Then, they would say "You saw the Roadrunner. Wasn't he fast? Then, the Coyote got beat. Wasn't that funny??" Then they repeat the cartoon with the same narration for 30 minutes or until you leave the show.
The Orville (2017)
Loved earlier seasons. This season stinnnnnks!
I am fairly liberal, but even I have had with the preachiness of this show. It is one thing to deal with different social issues, but this one has just gone completely overboard on the Moclans. This might as well be called "Welcome to the Moclans".
Murdoch Mysteries: A Midnight Train to Kingston (2013)
Absolutely, Positively, Incoherently, Infinitely, Embarrasingly Absurd
I was slow to come to Murdoch Mysteries, but once I got through the first episode I have been a big fan. I have pretty much stopped watching anything else. HOWEVER, when I watched this one I had to take a break. The writers have adult policemen and a brilliant female doctor do things that pre-school children would know better.
1) Rumor... RUMOR... of the hangman being bribed to save Gillies so what they do - get another hangman? no. Increase security at the hanging room? no. change the date and time of the hanging? no. Go to another town on a night train. Oh, yeah, great idea! HUH??
2) OK, they decide to take the train, BUT they don't get the separate car they were promised so do they cancel the trip? no. take a later train? no. Double the police escort? No. They make do with the bar car. WCGW - What could go wrong? Liquor, fire, cigars, cabinets. Nope, looks good to me.
3) Mysterious scraggly last minute passenger offers Julia drink from flask in front of Murdoch. Does she say no thanks? no. Does Murdoch sniff the flask or taste the drink. no. She takes a swig. WHAAATT??
4) Gillies is handcuffed. Gee... what could go wrong? Does he get leg irons? no. Does get tied to railing? no. Just left in handcuffs.
Madagascar (2005)
An Embarrassment ... and not of Riches
Charlie Chaplin best described what was funny. "You take a woman walking down the sidewalk. Show the audience a banana peel in front of her. Everyone knows that she is going to step on the banana peel and do a pratfall. At the last instant, she sees the banana peel, steps over it and falls into an open manhole that neither she nor the audience knew was there."
Starting from that, if the movie makers of Madagascar were to handle that situation they would have the characters run up to the banana peel, stare at it, look at the audience, look up and down the road, run back and forth, look at the banana peel again, and slip on it four or five times and completely miss the open manhole. This movie is a very strange and often unpleasant mix of throwing poo and Tom Wolfe, being friends and being food, being clever and being unpleasant. If not for the penguins, I would have to give this movie only one or two stars. The audience who laughs at throwing poo is probably not going to know who Tom Wolfe is and the audience who knows who Tom Wolfe is will probably cringe at the idea of throwing poo.
Gawd! what were some of these reviewers thinking when they called it "Brilliantly written, animated and performed, it not only bridges the child-adult divide, but also makes its kid-friendly humor smart in its own way." -- Bruce Westbrook, HOUSTON CHRONICLE
I much more agree with: "The movie is like a doughnut, with frosting on the edges and a big hole in the middle." Arizona Republic
A Rage in Harlem (1991)
Yeech!
Nasty, unforgiving, unrelenting blood sport. I watch war movies and don't bat an eye except for Saving Private Ryan, but this is downright sickening. I went because I liked Forrest Whittaker, but it was so savage, so sick with violence just for violent's sake that I was shocked. I also took a date and it was lucky that we had seen other movies together because she would have had real doubts about me if this was my kind of movie. The movie reminded me of news stories about people killing puppies and torturing cats. I still have nightmares about this movie. The reviewer for the Washington Post at the time called it an urban comedy. If this is his version of a comedy, I never want to see another one.