THEgongoozler Reviews

The First Wives Club (1996)

women well past their prime can still have fun

[7/10 · 20 January 2023]

The plot: 2 out of 10

the production: 4 out of 10

the direction: 6 out of 10

the cast: 8 out of 10

"You Don't Own Me" song and dance at the ending and credit roll: 10 out of 10.

THE FIRST WIVES CLUB (1996) is clean, lighthearted and conveying an message easily understood. A bit silly, yes, particularly the two characters by Maggie Smith and Sarah Jessica Parker. Husbands are all portrayed as sex hungry low-wit. Filled with stereotype and cliché, yet TFWC wins the hearts of million people.

The reason? Well, let me give you three words: Keaton, Hawn and Midler. They are the keys why audience watch this movie, they are the keys why audience LOVE this movie.

Stonehearst Asylum (2014)

Silence (or, actually roar) of Mr Lamb

[6/10 · 19 January 2023]

Is the mainstream (of a society) always correct, righteous and entitled to judge/control those "different" from them? This is the question many serious movies tried to ask. The illustration of such matter, through the wholeness of STONEHEARST ASYLUM (2014), is decent, artistic and nevertheless harsh. However, there are masterpieces about or earlier than 4 decades ago which did a better job in confronting audience with inconvenient truth. Of course I'm referring to A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971) and ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST (1975). Another interesting work, worthy of comparison, would be Werner Herzog's AGUIRRE, WRATH OF GOD (1972).

In terms of luminance of the picture most part of SA is dusky and shadowy, which serves its purpose but really unnecessary. But I do welcome director's arrangement of shooting two groups of people with contrasting framework. The representatives of authority and power, Pike (by Cusack), Salt (by Caine) and Mr Graves (by Kingsley jr), are portrayed in short takes, defocused or being partially covered. The rebellious usurpers or formerly suppressed, Newgate (by Sturgess), Lamb (by Kingsley) and Mrs Graves (by Beckinsale), are portrayed in longer shots, brighter lighting and fuller figures. The exception is Finn (by Thewlis). He is always in the dark, mumbling, the audience is deprived of one clean look of his face. This makes it obvious that he is the only genuine lunatic in SA.

Even though the main, or probably only, message SA conveys is that "patients" in mental institution may be saner than their handlers, yet presenting almost all of them (the protagonists in particular) as well-behaved, non harmful and discretionary is simply unconvincing.

Lord of the Dance: Dangerous Games (2014)

(to the Lord): please get rest .....

[5/10 · 12 September 2022]

The original LORD OF THE DANCE (1997) by Michael Flatley at his peak was, and still is, a spectacle and triumph. The follow-up FEET OF FLAME (1998) managed somehow to reach the same level of success. There are quite a few similar filmed performances by the tap dance legend himself or others. Frankly, not much point to watch them - except the above-mentioned two.

As a stage show, LOTD: DG is not bad at all. It's a colorful light entertainment not much different from Legs & Co., and the audience get to stargaze Flatley who tried very, very hard. The most unpleasant element in it is the video presenting green stuff at the back. They look fake, messy and tooooo green.

As a filmed performance, on the other hand, LOTD: DG is much less exciting than its sources of 1997 and 1998. The music is softer, the dance involves little with the true Lord, the background images interfere with the actions in front. ..... This game is NOT dangerous.

Fitzcarraldo (1982)

one of the reasons why movie is an art form, yet this epic may never, or even should not, be followed

[7/10 · 24 August 2022]

Watched it in cinema nearly four decades ago, and three frames of image have been stuck in my head ever since. The panorama view of wide Amazon River, the tilted wooden steamer on the mountain slope, and the peculiar face of wild-eyed Klaus Kinski. Frankly I didn't appreciate what the movie was all about and why it was made (to assert white supremacy, over native Indians?) then. Recently I picked up a DVD and watched it for the second time. All those images came alive before my eyes like they have never left. For me there is a thought in addition to my old experience: masterpiece.

About ten years before FITZCARRALDO (1982), Herzog wrote and directed AQUIRRE, THE WRATH OF GOD (1972). Both are about a mad man and his crazy dream set in Amazon. It seems Herzog maight use (or, actually used) some of the previous footage, because the location, pace and style are similar. In terms of movie-making technique, Herzog lagged behind others who were responsible for jungle flicks like APOCALYPSE NOW (1979), THE BALLAD OF NARAYAMA (1983) and THE MISSION (1986). Hence the 7-stars.

CC's appearance is too few and her role is too "flat." That's a pity.

The Song Remains the Same (1976)

🎵 is great, 🎬 is by no means enjoyable

[3/10 · 16 August 2022]

My music listening trip began with "Magical Mystery Tour", "Buffalo Springfield", "Are You Experienced?" and the like. Led Zeppelin's "II" is one of my all time favorites. The band is second to none in hard rock history.

At IMDB, there is really no point to hail how electrifying and fantastic Led Zeppelin's music and performance are. Here we talk about movies. And, the movie THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME (1976) is lame big time. The production value is so low it makes Monty Python stuff look pretty.

I appreciate why they put the Madison Square Garden concert into a film format and release it. This way Led Zeppelin's great moments can be viewed by fans around the world. There is no youtube in the mid 70s. But how come this great(est) band didn't hire talented people to make a moderately decent movie out of their concert and private life footage?

Monk Comes Down the Mountain (2015)

"monkeys down the mountain"? ..... well, not far from it

[2/10 · 25 July 2022]

Director Chen is prominent in the business in greater China and not a total stranger in Western film buffs circle. He is somewhat like the legendary Tsui Hark of Hong Kong. Both used to have great moments in the early stage of their career but followed up with commercial-oriented lousy stuff, to the point that both critics and audience know there shouldn't be any expectation before watching their new works.

If "preaching too hard (say, 3 or 4 in a scale of 10)" is considered a flaw of a movie, MONK COMES DOWN THE MOUNTAIN (2015) easily reaches 9 on that scale. What makes it even worse is that such preaching is a weird mixture of Taoism, Buddhism and self-asserting doctrine/mentality of Kung Fu world. Our protagonist, the one who comes down the mountain, is absolutely a Taoism practitioner. Yet this movie title ridiculously calls him a (Buddhism) monk. Would you label a victim of plane crash has died of car accident? Or, describe a dog-walker is having a good time with kitten?

There are too many laughable (not because of the humor) plot, arrangement, performance and dialogue. MCDTM is poorly rendered into something you simply cannot take it seriously. During the long 123 minutes I almost felt like watching a Monty Python flick from 1970s - despite some modern cinematography, choreography and editing.

Uncharted (2022)

Everything is charted. What a collection of cliché !!

[2/10 · 6 July 2022]

First and foremost, forget about the epic game franchise. Audience who have never played, or saw, the game would be less disappointed. Just take this as a normal time-killer. Yet the two hours really felt very, very long.

If anyone enjoys THE TOMB RAIDER (the two films by Jolie two decades ago) at present time, UNCHARTED (2022) is for you. Mind you, however, Jolie or anything remotely resembles her charm or star power is lacking in this mediocre (at best) adventure flick. Frankly, the Dan Brown./Ron Howard/Tom Hanks trilogy is way better and more interesting.

The Skeleton Key (2005)

okay melodrama, no big deal (of blood, language, sex, violence or excitement))

[6/10 · 21 June 2022]

Barely qualified as a horror movie, THE SKELETON KEY (2005) is more a melodrama than the genre's typical scary or "ghostly" cliché. For the type which involves voodoo and/or some sort of incarnation, TSK is by no means on the same level as formidable ANGEL HEART (1987). However, it beats the harlequin-like GET OUT (2017) hands down.

With fairly decent performance by Gena Rowlands, John Hurt and young but (appeared) sophisticated Kate Hudson, TSK tells a Deep South fable in a slow, even somewhat careless pace. Hardly any jump scare, little gore, very limited violence. Somehow TSK still manages to hold audience's' interest throughout its 100 minute length. It is OK to kill some time with .

Isle of Dogs (2018)

not for the general audience, ..... but for the little boys inside them

[6/10 · 21 June 2022]

Quirky, silly, light-hearted, light-headed ..... did I mention "quirky"?

A bunch of not-so-A-listers (except perhaps the Black Widow Johansson), mostly Wes Anderson's frequent partners in crime, provide their voice in this playful stop motion animation for the grown-ups. Unfortunately, probably extremely few audience can recognize any of those actors doing the dub (partially due to heavy dramatization). Visually, on the other hand, all characters in the movie DO NOT resemble those actors' look or whatsoever, either. Hence my question: what's the point maneuvering such a great cast (including 85-or-so-years-old Lennon widow Ono) if no one sees those actors' face or acknowledges those actors' voice?

There are more ill-logical issues in terms of production design. ISLE OF DOGS (2018) is meant to be a cultural hybrid. That's great. But the improper subtitles, or the lack of it, and tiny notes/markings on the screen make the viewing tiresome. The speed of some dialogue in Japanese is too fast for English audience, while some dialogue in English is too fast for Japanese audience.

Well, IOD comes from Hollywood. Powerful guys there can play the game any way they want. IOD has the potential to earn 8 or even more stars from me. It's a pity that silver screen magnets are having fun while earning big bucks, but we the movie-goers are actually like stray dogs on the island consuming whatever given to us.

Rocketman (I) (2019)

far less interesting or exciting than the ⭐'s half-century career .....

[5/10 · 18 February 2022]

There are quite a few biography/semi-biography movie on singers/songwriters e.g. LA VIE EN ROSE (2007), WALK THE LINE (2005), RAY (2004), THE DOORS (1991), GREAT BALLS OF FIRE (1989). Most of them serve no more purpose than satisfying respective fans of those musicians. ROCKETMAN (2019) is not different from its peers. A movie dedicated wholly toward Elton John. His family, his friends, his songs, and of course his costumes. As a result no audience likes this movie unless he or she likes THE star.

Taron Egerton did a decent performance. Perhaps even Sir Elton John approves this Doppelgänger. Comparing to actors headlined above-mentioned movies, nevertheless, Taron Egerton pales against Jamie Foxx, Joaquin Phoenix or Marion Cotillard.

Although the story is one-sided and tells nothing new to the fans, ROCKETMAN is indeed well-made. However it is just not interesting, exciting or engaging as expected - Elton John in real life is "spicier."

Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021)

not "the wildest movie Mr Cage ever made", but stupidest, so far .....

[2/10 · 16 February 2022]

It's silly Japanese manga style fable about American domination, incorporating the nuclear fear syndrome. You can see bits and pieces of REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA (2008) or even APOCALYPSE NOW (1979), but basically PRISONERS OF THE GHOSTLAND (2021) is in the fashion of MAD MAX saga. A really delusional and degenerated Max.

Reviewers will definitely make fun of Mr Cage. However there's no need to criticize him, or anyone in the cast and production team. I take pity on those investors/producers. They lost money, and must be ashamed to speak about where they stumbled.

The Age of Shadows (2016)

it's Korean patriotic, at the same time pathetic, movie for themselves to enjoy .....

[4/10 · 10 February 2022]

Here, at least 3 of the top Korean actors (it's safe to say "top 10", yet even "top 5" is not exaggerating) in 21st century on leading roles, THE AGE OF SHADOWS (2016) is very appealing in terms of "star power." Regrettably, perhaps most of its budget went to the cast and what was left for hiring decent screenwriter(s) was tiny.

The plot is so cliché that one may mistake TAOS as a propaganda from the cold war era. The part of the story which occurred in Shanghai seems a bit LUST, CAUTION (2007). As a whole, TAOS may serve the purpose of instigating patriotism among high school students in its home country. For general audience, specially those who not eager to learn, or to be misled, about the history of the Japanese occupation of Korean Peninsula, there is hardly reason for viewing. Unless, of course, you are a fan of Song Kang-ho, Lee Byung-hun or Gong Yoo.

Love Never Dies (II) (2012)

a must for ALW's fan, I mean, for its music and songs rather than the filmed show

[7/10 · 3 February 2022]

As a long time admirer of of Andrew Lloyd Webber for his genius, LOVE NEVER DIES (2012) didn't impress me much when it first came out. Although several numbers are truly great, musically, even by ALW's standard, but the whole story and production are obviously inferior to the (near) perfect THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (the musical, the original London cast version in particular).

Years gone by and after viewing of the show and countless listening to its music and songs, I found that my slightly harsh perception towards LOVE NEVER DIES has faded. Thank to ALW's composition, basically. The man is a grand master of music. Period.

Now I'm quite objective in comparing the two Phantoms. As musical, THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is better than LOVE NEVER DIES, by a lot. As movie, LOVE NEVER DIES (2012) is better than THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (2004), by a bit.

Fireflies in the Sun (2021)

borrowing from an American movie, setting Thailand as background, implying a Chinese (but actually global) plight .....

[6/10 · 1 February 2022]

We have to acknowledge several facts about FIREFLIES IN THE SUN (2021) first:

1) FITS is a verbatim adaptation of JOHN Q (2002);

2) FITS's Chinese title indicates that it is the sequel to SHEEP WITHOUT A SHEPHERD (2019), but it hardly is;

3) Thailand, or Bangkok, is the backdrop of the story, but FITS was shot with stage scenery in China due to CO-VID restrictions.

The whole point of FITS is not how it copied JOHN Q, rather, is the courage and conscience of producer/director/leading actor who made a Hollywood satire their own. Crime and corruption related to organ transplant are very serious in China, and presenting this issue in excruciating way on media is by all means a grave undertaking. FITS purposely remakes a famous American movie as close as it can and pretends such tragedy happened in South East Asia. Yet everyone realizes effortlessly that what FITS aims at is the situation in Chinese society.

For the reason to encourage filmmakers tackle on forbidden or "not welcome by officials" subjects, I'm willing to overlook minor defects, e.g. A bit too much sensationalism, or, is it even possible that in reality an extremely brave police officer, an extremely brave doctor, an extremely brave journalist, all in one place at the same time, risking their career to help out the extremely brave protagonist?

Lacking originality doesn't mean everything else is bad. The cast did a decent job - I reckon that they stand proud even in front of those A-listers of JOHN Q.

In the Shadows (2017)

lost, and not found .....

[7/10 · 29 January 2022]

IN THE SHADOWS (GALI GULEIYAN, 2017) shares a similar spirit with SALAAM BOMBAY (1988) and SHADOWS OF TIME (2004), but not in the same league. It has a brilliant idea (interweaving a man's past and present, to manifest how cruel reality's firm grip on a little poor guy is), wonderful acting and a production team doing good job. Nevertheless, it is seriously hampered by the thin and somewhat unconvincing plot.

The biggest hole of the story, in my opinion, is that the gentle boy decided, and dare, to kill the much stronger ruler of the family. Based on what the director showed to the audience, the boy got slapped and kicked for a short while (for understandable reason). If that could have been the cause of patricide, probably half of Indian parents were dead already (not to be disrespect to peoples of India, but just making a point here). Harsh discipline was quite common in last century's Asia. Of course, violence in any form is not "right," truth is it still exist even today, in lower class, in developing countries. The father in ITS seemed abstemious, given the circumstances.

There is another problematic issue in the screenplay. Since the boy realized the father cheated on the mother, would that be the cause of patricide? It surely fueled the boy's resentment, but hardly enough to instigate murder against a man double his size. The boy is far from tough, otherwise he would be running away long ago.

After the murder, the boy should be kept in institution for a period of time. Then, how come he was back to the slum again? Why did his mother let him go back (we all know how much she loves him)? Why did the affluent friend let him go back (we all know how kind and helpful this friend is)? As a long time resident he must be infamous around, it's unnatural that no one shows any emotion (eg scared, annoyance or trying to make fun) towards this weirdo and murderer. He set up dozen of cameras on neighbors' doorway for YEARS and no one noticed? ..... Too many illogical and unrealistic "holes" reduced ITS to near mediocrity. It is really unfortunate for all participated talents.

Last but not least, IN THE SHADOWS is entitled to be considered a decent movie, for audience with patience and sympathy. If taking out "entertaining" elements on the marking sheet, it should be regarded higher than SLUMDOG BILLIONAIRE (2009).

Reign of Assassins (2010)

slightly more, and slightly better, than average martial art movies .....

[6/10 · 28 January 2022]

It's interesting to compare REIGN OF ASSASSINS (2010) with NINJA ASSASSIN (2009). Both are more than two decades old but still stand proud among newer entrants of the same genre.

1) both have powerful "boss" behind the scene. John Woo is the producer for ROA. The Wachowski brothers (before they became sisters) are the producers for NA; 2) both are their directors' 3rd work as director; 3) both are international collaboration. Main cast of ROA comprises China, Hong Kong, Taiwan and S Korea, while NA S Korea, Japan, Britain and US; 4) both contain well-choreographed or even spectacular fights. Wai Tung, one of the top action/stunt professionals in Hong Kong, is responsible for ROA, while a bunch of A-list martial artists in Hollywood are involved in NA.

5) both touch on, but don't go deeper into, culture conflict of some sort. It is egotistic killing against religion/Buddhism in ROA, and egotistic killing against Western/modern day humanitarianism in NA; 6) both plots include evil clan which kills without mercy, dreadful leader, rebellious protégé, chasing the traitor, unlikely ally, and end with the slaughter of that seemingly unbeatable leader.

The assassin master/leader in ROA has double identity and possesses grievance that almost warrants sympathy. This is a fairly intriguing angle to look at a "bad guy" who has his own sad story. Unfortunately the writer/director lays this layer in that character but doesn't paint any color to it. It's a pity that quite a few other opportunities to make ROA more dainty or opulent are also wasted.

Midway (2019)

many say MIDWAY (1976) is bad, well, this is worse, much worse .....

[3/10 · 25 January 2022]

Bland, shallow, emotionless recount of the most important warfare in Pacific during WW2. Told by teenagers to teenagers?

The budget of MIDWAY (2019) is reportedly $100 million. I wonder which one dollar is worthily spent.

Poltergeist (2015)

not scary, not funny, and a total waste of Rockwell

[2/10 · 25 January 2022]

Remake of the 1982 movie without any contemporary or interesting input. What's the point for making this POLTERGEIST (2015)?

Not scary at all, particularly because the seasoned audience knows the drill already. The director tried, and failed, to draw a bit fun with Harris. It's even distressing to see always excellent Rockwell acted dully.

Gogol (2017–2019)

Gothic thriller with black comedy fun and some sharp tongue only smart scriptwriters can utter

[7/10 · 22 January 2022]

The 8 TV episodes or 3 connected movies of Gogol saga seem very similar to SLEEPY HOLLOW (1999) in style. However its story of murder, revenge, manipulation and love across two worlds bears resemblance more to A CHINESE GHOST STORY (1987). Just look at ACGS's front page image in IMDB and one may mistake it for being a poster of GOGOL (2017-2019).

As a whole GOGOL is well made and is interesting to behold. Unfortunately the latter part turns hasty and unconvincing. Of course this defect may be overlooked if there are following episodes or sequels, then we can judge accordingly. It's a pity that there aren't any. C'est la vie.

The Last Duel (2021)

can't tell whether old Scott condemns or condones the blind faith of "god" .....

[5/10 · 17 January 2022]

TLD is far from the class of RASHOMON (1950). "Tell a story from different angles" is absolutely not the same as "play out a story, three times, from different angles." Look into Kurosawa's masterpiece you will find all elements, including camera position and movement, are delicately rearranged whenever story was retold.

TLD has no any advancement from GLADIATOR (2000). Actions (battle in forest, fight in arena) and emotions ("love" between people doomed cannot be together, the jarring conflict between best pal/foe) are much weaker, dissonant and uninspiring in this movie than Scott's own work two decades ago.

TLD is, as far as plot is concerned, more like DAVID AND BATHSHEBA (1951). Both are about a powerful man snatching someone else's wife, claiming true love but got punished, finally God (?) pass on judgement and people all readily accept the so-called "God's will."

THE LAST DUEL (2021) has nothing to do with a woman's conscience or courage. The blind faith of "god" among the crowd is one of the most stupid and brutal human behaviors in history, yet it seems here old Scott simply renders himself to the unknown supreme power without questioning. So, how does it matter which side of the story is true, or truer?

Daybreakers (2009)

REPO THE GENETIC OPERA without the singing, and Sarah Brightman

[4/10 · 17 January 2022]

I felt very familiar with this futuristic fable of decaying vampires in less than 10 minutes after its beginning. A quick search in IMDB proves my suspicion: this is REPO THE GENETIC OPERA (2008) without the singing (although Williem Dofoe did sing a bit), and without the charming as hell Sarah Brightman.

Peter Block and Jason Constantine are the executive producers for both films. This explains why they are similar in style. However DAYBREAKERS (2009) is less gothic, worse scripted, and not as interesting in general compares to RTGO.

The plot is unconvincing. Particularly the conversion between human and vampire is laughable. What this film presents is NOT among the best performances of Hawke, Dafoe or Neill.

Ninja Assassin (2009)

masked men with swords killing masked men with guns, or vice versa, or between themselves .....

[5/10 · 14 January 2022]

Jet Li did it in KISS OF THE DRAGON (2001), Jackie Chan did it in THE TUXEDO (2002). Now Rain does the "Kung Fu guy protecting Western lady" theme as well. The difference? The former two were produced in Hong Kongese action movies' style, while NINJA ASSASSIN (2009) was in Japanese action movies' gory (glory?) tradition.

However, NA is basically a product of the Wachowski Sisters (both of them are producers of this film). James McTeigue, the director, is the Sisters' (back when they were brothers) first assistant director in THE MATRIX saga.

Everyone knows that ninja is a Japanese thing. But NA is headlined by and has heavy presence of Korean actors. The only Japanese in the main cast is Sho Kosugi, who plays an evil master of the assassin clan. Naomie Harris, the leading actress, did a decent job between her two PIRATES and two 007s' performances. As for the movie itself? Well, it can't go wrong if you enjoy KILL BILL (2003) and the like.

Apex (2021)

in wretched 2021 Bruce headlined 9 films, all contributed to make the world a worse place .....

[2/10 · 4 January 2022]

I thought BATTLE ROYALE (2000) and THE HUNGER GAMES (2012) are bad, well, they deserve Oscars in comparison with this APEX (2021).

Bruce Willis must be needing money desperately, to sign up to package deal with a handful of lousy producers/production companies.

Dark Places (2015)

intriguing, but the director's story-telling skill is quite discouraging .....

[5/10 · 1 January 2022]

Despicable people, uncomfortable surroundings, wretched past and hopeless present ..... DARK PLACES (2015) draws a really gloomy picture about a murder case victim whose dreadful memory comes back to haunt her. She can only sink further with her meaningless life, yet redemption is activated by a total stranger - someone running laundromats (implies that her soul will be cleansed along with the initiative to re-examine the fateful night?)

Charlize Theron co-produced this film. She has the magic to be attractive playing the part of a very unattractive person.

Don't Look Up (2021)

The Theatre of the Absurd may be quite close to the (inconvenient) truth .....

[5/10 · 30 December 2021]

Immediately reminds me of WAG THE DOG (1997) and even DR STRANGELOVE (1964). The real purpose of such comedy is not what being put into but what it brings out. The content is of course ridiculous, yet the audience surely is inspired to contemplate a bit more about the world situation we're in. DON'T LOOK UP (2021) did OK on getting its message crossed.

While DiCaprio filled his position capably, it's a pity that none of the three leading actresses acted well. They all pushed their performance too hard.