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Reviews
You'll Never Find Me (2023)
Endless brooding monologues
This could have been a tense cat-and-mouse game where you're not even sure which character is the predator and which is the prey. Instead, it's a series of monologues delivered just above a whisper, with both characters speaking in the same voice.
It's like the internal monologs in Sin City came to life and wrote this script. Just endless, nihilistic, vaguely ominous diatribes.
There are a few good moments of tension, but there's so sparse that it's hard to maintain interest waiting for the next one. Once we finally get to the reveal, I was already checked out, so it didn't have much impact. It doesn't help that the reveal is awfully similar to a far superior film from a few years ago, The Death of a Faun.
The Twin (2022)
Ultimately an absolute waste of time
Some fun spookiness, shades of Wicker Man, the Omen... all in service of a profoundly stupid and disappointing third act. I am actively angry that I watched this.
Jakob's Wife (2021)
Deeper and weirder than it has any right to be.
This could have been a simple story about a housewife having an awakening and fighting against the patriarchal forces that weigh her down. Instead, it digs deep into what it means for a loving marriage when the status quo just won't cut it anymore.
There's genuine sympathy for both Anne, the woman who begins to see just how oppressive her marriage has been, and for Jakob, the husband who is clueless but not malicious in his acceptance of traditional gender roles.
So this could have been a tender indie drama about a midlife crisis -- but it's also an amazingly, almost cartoonishly gory and campy vampire story.
Whether you dig this movie or not depends on how you handle those two elements playing off each other. I was content to go along for the ride, and ended up really fond of this movie.
It doesn't hurt that Barbara Crampton and Larry Fessenden are both fascinating, gifted actors, and I couldn't take my eyes off them.
Bleed with Me (2020)
Mildly intriguing and then ultimately pointless
This is the particular type of indie horror movie that aims for "evocative" but ends up "dull." There are endless closeup shots of characters' faces in which we're meant to read all sorts of emotions or glean information, but it's impossible to tell what they're going for.
If there were a meaningful resolution to the whole thing, it might retroactively make the whole movie worth it. But it doesn't resolve, it just stops. I was left wondering what if anything the filmmaker was trying to say.
The Mortuary Collection (2019)
Outstanding throwback anthology.
This movie walks the fine line of simultaneously paying homage to old horror, critiquing old horror, and simply making a great anthology that doesn't belabor the first two points.
First things first: This thing looks amazing. There's a 50s-ish vibe to the sets, costuming and makeup, but it's heightened - think Pushing Daisies, Pleasantville or Big Fish. The visual effects are top notch - obviously there was a limited budget here, but that means lovely, squishy, visceral practical effects for the most part, with just a smidge of CGI.
We also get a larger variety of stories than you usually do in an anthology. The first one is a darkly comic little gut punch, shorter than the other segments. Then we get some social commentary (and some fantastically gory scenes), then a bleakly comic but oddly touching story of marriage, loss and murder. Then we cap it off with The Babysitter Murders, which Spindell released as a standalone short a few years back, but which he has folded effortlessly into this in a profoundly satisfying way.
All of it is held together by Clancy Brown at his Clancy Browniest, all subtle snark and basso profundo. He's telling these stories to Caitlin Custer as the mysterious ingenue, and her character could have been insufferable -- she provides a little meta-commentary and critique of each story after it's been told. Fortunately it's just wink-nod enough, not too much to spoil it.
Overall, this is a blast. I loved every minute of it. Don't go in expecting Big Serious Indie Horror or Jump Scare a Minute Horror and just enjoy.