hthbrr2 Reviews

Wonder Woman (2017)

Fake Feminism

[1/10 · 8 September 2017]

First off this movie sucked. Whew, OK now lets go in chronological order to all the suckage.

Young WW: We see WW as a child, all she wants to do is fight bla bla bla. What I saw more than a horrible child actor was the fact that just about ALL the women appeared to have no less than 10 plastic surgery procedures done on them. Now, these are supposedly 'ancient times'. Even in the modern world at the time they did not have the capabilities of face lifts/nose jobs/cheek&chin implants, lips injections, and boob jobs. Among other things.

What powerful women they are that they are so insecure that they have to cut themselves open. Also why does no one age? But well they are apparently made of magic...or something. Reminds me of the sexism of a michael bay movie, no old women, no fat women, no ugly women, no little kids exist. Only hot model type women exist. Tall, big boobs, high cheekbones, etc.

So, according to this movie, women are valid, strong, equal....as long as they are young beautiful models. Umm...Fake feminism. Women should be equal since women are human beings. Being sexually desirable should NOT define women. WW is hot therefore according to this movie's logic she is powerful, wonderful, great, etc...*sigh*

Next, when she finally comes of age, the first thing that happens is that she meets a guy. OK now I gotta compare this movie to Twilight. And you know you are in some deep do-do if your movie is put in the same breath as Twilight. Well here goes sadly, both were directed by women, starring women, and supposedly empower women. LOL But WW's WHOLE life, just like Bella in Twilight, revolves around men. Aries, and her love interest. Just like Bella was all about Edward, not her own well being, not her family, not her education, not her future, but A MAN. When are we going to have a movie where a woman is not chasing after a man?

So then we have Chris Pine doing some subtle sexism as he does in all his films, undermining women. Even though this woman FREAKING jumped into the air and broke a whole bell tower. He SEES that she has magical powers YET he STILL can't suspended his disbelief in the fact that yet ANOTHER magical creature can exist!? Aries? Really? And THIS light misogynist is the man she falls for. And bases her WHOLE life on. "Love is the answer." Yeah he truly loved her, by undermining her the WHOLE time...and oh yeah she literally was a GOD. LMAO

The Edge of Seventeen (2016)

2 characters/actors make the movie unbearable

[1/10 · 26 February 2017]

Those are Blake Jenner who plays the older brother. And the character of Krista. Who cares about her real name, she is a secondary character this film needed. She will go back to the D-list after this.....lol

WHY are they still hiring Blake Jenner? I hate him. Let's just get that out of the way. He just looks....off. Maybe since every new actor trying to replace the Glee originals was basically hated. Maybe because he looks deformed, no offence. But mostly since he can't carry a movie. He is meh at best. He failed in Glee, he failed in Everybody Wants Some, and what else did he even do? Does he get hired because he is tall with abs...and the whole Glee singing and dancing thing? Pretty sure there are better looking guys out there that can actually carry and movie, and you know have actual star power.

These two ruin this movie for the reason that they are both truly disgusting repulsive characters that are selfish beyond belief. The older brother has been treated better all his life, he turned out better. What a shocker! Then we get turncoat Krista who was BFFs with the main character. But left her in a second for the D....seriously, the scene where the main character learns of her betrayal LITERALLY involves her bothers D. And they later even have a discussion about it.....not even kidding.

Just really sick and tired of people BLAMING THE VICTIM. When will it stop!? "Hey we bullied the heck out of this kid and made his life miserable, why did he snap and kill everyone?" REALLY? Do these people not hear themselves?

I see Nadine as the victim. Played by the lovely and amazingly talented Hailee Steinfeld. I mean wow what a performance! They say she is disagreeable? I wounder why (her life treatment). I mean I was confused who I was supposed to root for. Was I ACTUALLY SUPPOSED to root for the older brother? Who was treated as the golden child? For the supposed BFF who the SECOND she RANDOMLY got a whiff of some D dropped her best friend in a hot minute? Who gets all b!t(#y and judgmental of her and acts all high and mighty as if she is her mother now???? REALLY!?!?!?

Just so disgusted by these two characters. If they were TOTALLY cut out of this movie I would have given it 10 stars to be honest. But no it gets 1 since they are in it. Just really hated looking at her former BFFs smug judgmental face. What a b!t(#. Just wow. REALLY filmmakers why did you ruin your movie with these two? I feel like I have to take a shower to clean off the disgust of these two actors/characters.

Now the mother of Nadine is also not innocent. But Kyra Sedgwick is such an AMAZING actress, that she adds shades of gray to her character. She makes her character likable. But when you hire Blake Jenner and have a random D-lister try to play characters we are supposedly supposed to root for you eff up the whole thing. They are just jerks, that's it.

It's really a shame since Hailee Steinfeld really makes Nadine someone you wanna root for. She is just a girl that wants to be loved, cared for, supported. Is that really bad? Isn't that ALL of us!? I mean really. Why is Nadine of all people painted as the supposed villain? Young and stupid strikes us all. I was so disgusted at how ALL OF A SUDDEN Krista became an adult. Why did she hook up with her BFFs older brother again? Oh yes it was never explained. They need to do a re- edit of this film with NO older brother character or BFF character.

Really LOVED Erwin, an adorable character played perfectly by Hayden Szeto. Hell even the guy Nadine liked but turned out to be a 'jerk' (just trying to bang her) was more likable than her older bro and BFF. THAT is how bad those 2 are! OMG I almost forgot Woody Harrelson! At this point this movie stretched the grips of reality that a teacher exists like this. He was a funny character and I loved how he cared so much for Nadine. I mean he could exist, maybe everyone in the school got so used to the way Nadine speaks that they got desensitized? But yeah this movie had lots of good characters, actors, scenes, etc....all over shadowed by the big pile of the steaming dump that is the older brother and the BFF.

Bend It Like Beckham (2002)

Simply one of the best movies made

[10/10 · 26 February 2017]

To be honest, most people did not know who Beckham was. Either you are a sports fan or you are not. It's proof how popular this movie is. The title has been used time and time again. Bent it like....what does that mean. People learned after this.

Really cute and yet powerhouse movie at the same time. It's one of those rare gems that you find and are excited about! This movie discusses culture clash, racism, sexism, general women's issues, family issues, relationships, sexual orientation, and more. And it managed to do it with out being preachy, keeping a fun tone, and not going overboard.

THIS is a movie. If only more film makers would take notes. You don't need a blasting song in EVERY scene to make your point. The silence speaks volumes in some scenes when the actors just stand there and look at each other with a meaningful intensity.

Acting/casting/writing/direction/wardrobes were all fantastic. I would describe this movie as a girl that just wants to follow her dreams and falls in love along the way. Inspirational movie that is a must see imo.

The DUFF (2015)

Love this movie, a bit too much improvisation, but it's forgivable

[10/10 · 26 February 2017]

To me this movie is an instant classic. Love the plot, acting, characters, writing, even the ad-libs.

Now just to get it out of the way it seems like much of the movie is improvised. Makes it seem unpolished/unfinished. Seems a bit rushed. But when you compare it to most movies these days this is truly a diamond in the rough. Would have been nice to have had less improvising. The older cast members are pros at it though. The younger ones kind played off like unprofessional, first draft, drama class kinda stuff. But I forgive it since this movie is so great.

It does get a bit heavy handed with it's message I'll admit, another thing the ad-libbing does. But still it's good. Just feel like if it was more refined it would have been better received.

The acting is great and casting is perfect. Everyone works well with each other. So many quotable lines from this movie, and funny scenes. I actually laughed out loud in this movie. The film is basically a well made make over movie. But with many laughs and lessons along the way. The pay off is nice and so many good comedic actors in this. Even the credits are funny! You can tell all the cast members had a blast with this. What happens when the set is too easy going, the whole ad- libbing thing. But even so the movie is a joy to watch already watched it a couple of times! Highly recommend it if you are a comedy, rom-com, and/or drama fan.

Zootopia (2016)

Gets one star for that HORRIFIC song!!!!!

[1/10 · 18 February 2017]

While watching this movie I really liked the quality of the animation. But then that pos song came on. I blocked it out best I could, then the movie went on. I could never forgive the greedy marketers for this song, so by default I took off 5 stars. I was content with giving it 5 stars. 10 for nice story and animation 1 star for the bad song. A compromise if you will. BUT THEN THEY PLAYED THIS POS SONG AGAIN AT THE END OF THE MOVIE!!! One star it is!

I cannot forgive it. We get it you wanna create as many revenue streams as possible. Selling the movie, soundtrack, toys, happy meals, clothing, posters, etc..... BUT you have to stop yourself before you sell out and no one takes you seriously anymore.

Really that song is terrible. Even by pop music standards. I know this movie is supposed to be for kids, but damn TOO REPETITIVE! I feel sorry for anyone that was dragged to this movie.

Why did I watch it you ask? Well I was in the mood for a movie and saw an ad for this. And thought, well maybe it's not just another dumb kids movie, boy was I wrong.

Another problem this movie has is that it's too current. Too many references to modern day things. I miss classic Disney movies, you know the hand drawn 2D ones. I really hate how greedy Disney has become. They spit out a bs animated movie that you will forget 5 seconds later cuz the next bs animated movie is coming out!!!! Whereas Cinderella, Aladdin, The Lion King, etc.... are enduring. They even talked about pirated movies in this....as if to explain why they have to crank out so many movies.

Most people will buy into this, they are blinded by the Disney brand. Not everything Disney makes is gold. I, as much as my happiness is chagrined, have standards. And I just can't enjoy such an empty movie. It basically boils down to small town girl fights big town corruption. And we tackle sexism, racism, cellphone humor, slapstick, and other random current things. This is messy. Also for a movie that is against stereotypes they have many in there! But this is not just Disney, most Hollywood movies are like this. They go on at LENGTH about equality but the leads are always young models......

Suicide Squad (2016)

Great movie for showing how bad a hyped movie can be.

[1/10 · 21 November 2016]

I hope this is a lesson to people, anytime a movie is over hyped it's gonna be bad.

Let me explain. Movies have a budget, a focus if you will. Depending on how they want the move to turn out. Just like if you are cooking a meal. If you use cheap ingredients in a dish, it will taste like bland sh!t. If you use only the best, you will most likely have a mouth watering meal.

Let's see where they spent the money. They got a cheap director. Who wrote and directed! Did they get some kind of discount there? Lol. Next they hired basically nobodies. Except Will Smith and Jared Leto I guess. Viola Davis is an of the moment actor. People like her from TV so throw her in there. And the piece of objectified meat Margot Robbie.

Now in order to get people to buy faulty products they have to be tricked some how. Why not just make a good product that sells itself? Well not all people are talented enough to make a good product to begin with. So they will advertise some food product as being the 'best' 'delicious' 'mouthwatering' when in reality it is none of these things. Why not spend the money to hire better chefs? Or in this movie's case hire better people to make it? What they did was focus the money on the advertising.

It's how I knew right away the movie was gonna be cr@p. The trailer looked great, but it made no sense. And as I watched the movie it was painfully obvious they filmed it to make a deceptive trailer. Certain scenes that were in the trailer made NO SENSE in the movie. Just none.

Reminded me of the new Star Trek movie. Advertisements: "Best movie ever." My thoughts: "Oh so it's cr@p."

If something is good people, PEOPLE will talk about, word of mouth. Don't believe the media mouth piece. Don't believe the slick advertisements. The trailer is good does not equate to it's good movie. Really these people need to be sued for false advertising at this point. The trailer was 90% Joker and Harely. When they are BARELY in the movie. I think it's so bad that ALL of their scenes in the movie are used in the trailer just about. LOL

Oh to the movie it's self now. The plot makes no sense. No sane character motivations. And the 'well they are just crazy' excuse does not apply. WHY did Harely fall for Joker? Why is the Aussie guy the way he is? Why does the fire guy not want to kill, who is that random Asian chick? I mean she literally WALKED onto the movie. "Hey here is a random Asian women, her sword traps souls kbye." What? Even with 3 members of the squad just being shoved in there. They still did not explain back story of the other members. Dead shot has a daughter, and? What else, crocodile guy....wait no backstory. Umm, drawing a real blank here guys.

Yeah so I hope that people learn that when a movie is hyped to he11 as 'the best movie ever' you can just see right through it and see it's bulls!t. Great movie to teach people this important lesson. I try to see the good in everything. So there it is. A cautionary tale.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

Sexism is alive and well.

[10/10 · 26 October 2016]

I know this site is used by all people around the world. But in the USA when we hold elections the whole world watches. This movie reminded me of the 2008 US election.

The vote was between a black guy and a woman. The black guy won in short, because he was a man. To me, the 2008 election answered the question: is America more sexist or racist? Turns out we don't care if a man is black (Obama), gay (Michael Kors), crazy (Trump), a child molester (Michael Jackson), a rapist (Roman Polanski), or a murderer (OJ Simpson). As long as they are a man it's OK.

If a woman were to do THE SAME THING as a man she will get punished to the fullest extent of the law, be publicly shamed, and probably illegal things the media does not event talk about: harassment and general mistreatment.

Hell even women who are VICTIMS of crimes get punished for no reason. A woman who was BEATEN by her husband was sentenced to more jail time for not protecting her child from him. Who was ALSO being beaten by the husband. The husband served 2 years, she is still in jail. He's out and now free to beat the child as much as he wants. How will she protect the child if she is behind bars????

The hate this movie received was really undeserved. All that hate was just sexism basically. They rebooted a movie? Isn't that what has been happening for the past 10 years? But WHY is this one specifically bad? Oh yes, because women are in the roles instead of the men.

They rebooted Spider-Man for god sakes! 10 years had not even passed from the last spider man movie. They rebooted Bat-Man so many times. They re-made old TV shows into movies (Land Of the Lost, Get Smart, Star Trek, etc.) James Bond, Dredd, Planet of the Apes, Superman, Hulk, Green Lantern, ... at this point there are very few ORIGINAL movie ideas. Everything is loosely based on something at this point that came before. NONE of those movies received as much hate as this one did.

This movie MADE ME LAUGH. The graphics were top notch, and it was fun to watch. No movie is perfect. But the way I rate is either it was good or bad. I don't knock off a star for some little thing I did not like in the movie. I liked this movie, it was fun to watch.

Very sad that it received all this hate. Too bad most men are so threatened by women. Pretty sick that most believe that a woman's place is in the kitchen. In our ever evolving/advancing world, it's getting harder to be sexist/ignorant/racist. So people disguise their hatred in different forms. "Obama is an idiot." Maybe he is, but you suspect that it's racism since they don't point out any specific reason for him to be an idiot. "This movie sucks." Why?

They harp on and on about how it's 'disrespects' the original. Even though most of the original actors made cameos in the movie. Well why does EVERY OTHER REBOOTED movie not 'disrespect' the original? 'Disrespect' is code for: women are not meant to have any power in the world. They have to be 'good little girls' aka: stay silent and take abuse. Another example: In the new Flash TV-reboot people complain about his love interest being black. They don't outright say it. They just vaguely complain about her. 'She is a bad character' is code for she is black and it's not OK. These ignorant people direct hate towards anything that challenges their narrow world view.

So sad....this movie turned out to be one big litmus test to see how sexist people are. So sad that most men think women should not be in starring roles/have power. Yet are OK with men doing the same...sexism. I watched the movie and it was fine, very fun actually. I laughed out loud. I am a big comedy fan. And not many movies actually make me laugh. This one did. I watched the movie to make sure it if it was good or bad. But people hated on the movie before it even came out.

To be fair people made fun of Heath Ledger's Joker before The Dark Knight came out. But it came out and people changed their mind. But this movie it was unreasonable hatred. "Women must be controlled!" - sexist people. So very very sad.....

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

These movies have become white noise

[1/10 · 2 September 2016]

I'm confused so much, all these movies sorta blend into each other. Since they are tied together. Hulk, Thor, Cap America, Iron man, etc.... Since the avengers were in this I assumed it was another Avengers movie.

But no it's Captain America: Civil War? Huh? Don't you need the Avengers for a civil war? What it being CIVIL and all. Umm....so confused.

Where is Thor and Hulk, and Loki and and and.....I can go on and on, but you get the point. We really know it was budget issues. They are IN the Avengers, SO why are they not asked to sign? ?????

Confusion. WHY do, ALL OF A SUDDEN, half the avengers seem not to trust Cap???? OH right since that is what the plot needed. This whole movie is just trash. Random spider man and ant man thrown in too, why not? Just whatever at this point. Explosions and random sh*t. Can anyone make sense of these movies anymore?

All started with Cap, the Nazis stole something from Thor/Loki....then he was frozen, woken up....umm Tony Stark's father knew Cap. Umm Cap almost banged Peggy? She did stuff created shield or something....then Hydra got in. Then Loki went crazy, and Thor stopped him, or didn't. Umm then Iron man made suits....Black widow wore tight tight clothes. She was in ballet??? Kissed Cap, but loves Hulk??? Umm....wtf is even happening any more. Robin hood has a secret family??? And who was that guy in a panther suit. RANDOM AS F***! LOL ?????

If you LOVE confusing white noise this is the movie for you!!!!! "Confusing White Noise: The Movie!"

Me Before You (2016)

Emilia Clarke's eyebrows make this movie unwatchable

[1/10 · 23 August 2016]

I tired to watch this movie I really did. But I quickly realized that Emilia Clarke CAN'T ACT. And made the movie unwatchable.

What I do with movies is skip through them a bit just to get a feel of what the movie is like. Too many movies I sit through about 10 mins and I feel like 'I wasted 10 min of my life I will never get back!' NEVER AGAIN! So I skip and within a few minutes can tell if I should even BOTHER watching the whole movie. I did this with this one and saw there was nothing worth watching. Just a pile of dung really.

So basically, as most people can tell by the current state of cinema, that it's not really the movie that is important, it's what is behind the scenes. Like take the recent Suicide Squad. Hyped as all get out. And it turned out to be a dud. I have not seen it yet, but I am not shocked. The REASON that movie was made was to cash in on the popularity of superhero movies. Avengers, Justice League, Bat/Super/Spider man, etc.

Now to the reason this movie was made: THIS movie is a VEHICLE to try and launch the career of these two actors. Emilia Clarke and Sam Claflin. Emilia Clarke is famous for the same reason Sasha Grey is, to put it lightly. Emilia Clarke appeared totally naked in the basically soft core p0rn TV show + gore that is "Game of Thrones". That is all really. The only reason she is in this movie is to make her look like a 'serious/real actress'. Nope, sorry girl, you are just a piece of meat, you wont fool me. And Sam Claflin, sorry, you can act, but you just can't carry a movie. You will ALWAYS be ONLY a SUPPORTING actor. Sorry. I thought we learned that lesson in the failure that was "Love, Rosie" (2014). Lily Collins ALSO can't carry a movie. WHY are we making the same mistake in THIS movie????

It was painful watching Emilia Clarke try to break her type casting as the 'hot girl' playing a 'nerdy girl'. REALLY? Painful to watch just painful. She can't act, and the movie is just trash. The story as well. I mean it's like insult to injury. Imagine a sick old hobo just lost control over his bowels and bladder, in a dumpster where he was digging for food, and you throw a dead body on top, vomit, throw some dirty diapers in there, and top it all off with medical waste. That is a good way to describe this movie. From bad to worse. 1. Bad actress 2. No leading man 3. Bad plot 4. bad .......well you get the point.

Good movies are just good movies, there should be no ulterior motives. Just make a movie. I don't even know what I fu(&!ng expected from this movie it was so bad. A nice little rom com at least. Nope just a pile of tripe. STOP making movies for reasons other than making a good movie!

(p.s. her eyebrows were Emma Watson level bad)

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Makes no sense

[1/10 · 19 July 2016]

From what I gather fans wanted this movie. They just wanted to see Batman and Superman fight. It makes no sense since they are on the same side.

So they make up bs to make them fight. Batman sees Superman destroy a city so he's like 'oh no he didn't!' and grows to hate him. But wait....he is ALSO a superhero does he not understand that he was fighting BLEEPING aliens from another planet trying to attack Earth? And in the process yes people got hurt?

So what Batman has never hurt anyone? What? Isn't Batman the vicious one? I mean we see him gleefully killing many people in THIS very movie! Is Batman this stupid?

OK well....Batman is basically a reclusive billionaire who was severely damaged from his parents murder, hides in an underground cave and pretends to be a bat as he fights crime. Translation Bruce Wayne is insane. It's pretty clear from this movie...that is really the only way this film makes sense.

Umm other questions....

-why is Lois so much older than Clark? I mean yes men are like 10 years older than women most times in movies and no one bats and eye. I guess since she is a good actress. But why can't you just get people who are the same age? I don't get it.

-why is Wonder Woman in this and the Flash/Aqua-man/etc.? I get that they need to set up sequels, but really? Can't they do it like the avengers and put a scene after the credits?

-why did they try to put like 8 movies in one? Batman crazy/Superman depressed/justice league/Lex villain/2 monsters/thugs/foreign country problems/Clark&Lois relationship problems/Bat&Superman parental issues

I mean if you wanna see Bat and Super fight this is the movie for you. The first half is really boring though. Not much happens except for the audience being confused.

Equals (2015)

Can't really summarize a movie where nothing happens.

[1/10 · 19 July 2016]

So all I can do is describe what I saw. OK so people wear lots of white. Lots of walking. Scanning. Umm, they go to work. Then walk, more scanning, back home, eat food. Everything is white, oh some gray colors as well. They use technology as well and talk sometimes to each other.

Umm oh yes lots of showering! Can't get those white clothes/surroundings dirty now! Umm....then what?

Well OK let's talk about what this movie is supposed to be about. We are in the future, and humans had to get rid of emotions because....umm that was not really explained either. I guess it's a post apocalyptic world where they HAD to do this...AGAIN my OWN mind is creating MORE plot for this movie than the movie itself did LOL

So suddenly, randomly, out of no where with AGAIN no explanation people have emotions again....OK. ??? So wait, is this true or have people just been hiding emotions all along? What is even real? Well movie has no answers since it has no plot or really anything.

OK....really grasping at straws now to review this empty movie...umm. Oh yes let's talk about the acting. Nicholas Hoult is a fantastic actor as are most of the people in this 'film'. Trying to be all Vulcan, having emotions but not showing them. I think Kristen Stewart's agent thought she FINALLY found a movie where she can shine. Playing a character that has no emotions. Seeing as though she can express nothing at all other than b!tch face. But no Kstew just looks depressed and ugly. I just don't get how they took this beautiful girl and took away the only thing she has going for her at this point, her looks. Whereas Hoult is represented as the handsome guy he is. She looks like hell. I just don't get it, why did they go out of their way to make her look ugly? Goodness knows she can't act.

Umm so yeah apparently these two actors are supposed to fall in 'love' or 'lust' again the movie does not explain sh!t as there is no plot. All we see is talking/mumbling, walking, eating, showering, staring. As if you thought Twilight was a pointless movie! In this movie LESS happens! If you can believe it!

So they plan to runaway...to ...somewhere (once again no real plot or explanation) but wait they found a cure for 'emotions' can they overcome it? Umm, that is never explained either. This movie really takes the cake for never explaining things. Attention filmmakers if you want to make a futuristic movie/minimalism/clean lines/etc...you STILL have to EXPLAIN sh!t to us. You STILL have to have a PLOT. You still have to have DIALOGUE/EVENTS/SET UPS/CONCLUSIONS. Get it? This movie just runs and you are lost the whole time. It's like mystery movies, your characters should be in the dark, NOT your audience!

So if you like movies where nothing happens, the color white and gray, calm showering, and little dialogue then boy is this the movie for you!

Everybody Wants Some!! (2016)

I got a head ache watching this.

[1/10 · 25 June 2016]

You how sometimes you are just bored. Nothing to do at all, so you just wander around with people. Well hold on, because someone made a whole movie about this! For some reason set some decades go....

Seriously whoever made this movie does not understand how to make a movie. First off you have to have a set up, then a plot, then actual events have to take place, and finally a conclusion. Even children that are forced to write essays, or put on small skits know this! "Once there was a dog that wanted a bowl of food, he looked for it, found it and ate it, the end." See how we set up the main character, gave it a plot, and reached a conclusion?

Why I got a head ache was that I was trying to figure out what the hell this movie was about. It's like when you talk to a crazy person. And they babble on and on, until you finally realize, no it's not you that is confused and can't get what they are saying, they are simply insane.

So wait who is the main character? This film can't decide. Is it that guy that was in Glee? BUT if he is the main why do we have random scenes that he is not a part of? It almost seems like the actors showed up when they felt like it and they shot whatever they could and pieced it together later. Some of the actors/characters are very absent then appear. What?

Also lmao, one of the characters in the film is 'caught' to be 30. LOL umm most of these men look like they can pass for 35. Were they high when they wrote/shot this movie???? I just don't get it it's so sloppy and pointless. WHERE IS THE PLOT!? What is this about???

Who cares I don't want another headache. Just avoid this trash. Just a bunch of 25+ guys pretending to be teens, and being bored. Really no plot. That's it....not even kidding.

The Lifeguard (2013)

Was so bad I could not even watch the rest of it.

[1/10 · 16 March 2016]

Perfect example of how to start a movie horribly. We are not told WHO ANY of these people are. THEN suddenly stuff happens, and we are even more lost. Since we never had a introduction.

Where does this move take place, why did she move? What was her job? What even is her name? ????

I got to the the scene where they were all sitting at a table and aimlessly doing drugs. Well, I was disgusted and stopped watching.

I mean if you are the type of person that likes to be lost, watch people vomit, and watch pointless sh!t then boy is the movie for you.

Can't tell you how the movie ended since I did not bother to watch it all the way thought I was so repulsed and annoyed by the start that NEVER started. So even if I saw the ending it would still be the same.

A movie that did not decide what is was. What even is this? The summary tells me it's a woman who becomes a life guard and then....stuff happens? Seems like a random series of events that have NO effect on one another.

Watch the grass grow or paint dry instead of this movie. Since those things make sense and have plot development.

The Flash (2014–2023)

Smallville 2.0

[1/10 · 2 January 2016]

I really gave this show a chance. I really did. It's in it's second season now. I waited to see if maybe it would stop being like Smallville. But no it was a failure like Smallville was.

In Smallville EVERY episode, of the first season at least, was Clark and the gang trying to take down someone who was affected by the kryptonite. I mean it was boring. One person had control of fire, one mind control, another something else. Since they were exposed to the kryptonite during the blast when baby clark/meteorite/ship touched down on earth.

It was boring, lazy writing. And The Flash is no different. In season 1 EVERY episode was about Barry and the gang fighting people that were effected by the kryptonite, whoops I mean the particle accelerator blast. It's the SAME thing. Really it is, check it out. One person controlled the wind, another could teleport, etc....

Not only that the season 1 finales were exactly the same. There was a tornado of some kind, and we had one hell of a cliffhanger. I don't know about you, but these kinds of cliffhangers are very mean. It's better to wrap things up. When you leave things like this people forget what led up to it. If The Flash/Barry had fixed the singularity/tornado/whatever bs was going on, the next season would have been better set up.

Even in the Avengers movies they don't do that. It would be too cruel. Sure they set things up, but the movie goes back to homeostasis. Things clam down. Since NO ONE can keep track of THAT much (R@P. I HATED the season 1 finale of The Flash, but no I gave it a chance. And boy it let me down. Season 2 is full of 8u11$#!t. Are you serious!? Someone who comes from another world calls HIS home, "EARTH 2"!? Are you fu(&!ng kidding me!? It's too much 8u11$#!t......

Also they are still doing a new person with superpowers each week, someone sent from Earth 2 now...ugh (light girl, shark man, etc.) All while ignoring actual plot. Like wasn't Barry and Iris meant to be? Then why is he dating the cop girl? Huh? Can't Barry go so fast that he can turn time back? Then why is he constantly being told he can't go fast enough? Whoops no time for this show to make sense or for plot development we gotta fight the new meta-human of the week!!!! Ugh.....

Unfortunately this show will probably run for a long time. Smallville lasted 10 seasons. Simply because of the rabid fan base. EVEN the fans of the show remarked how Clark had NO chemistry with Lois in the show. But they kept watching. So if you have no standards and love the Flash no matter what boy is this the show for you! You will totally ignore how no one can tell that Clark, whoops I mean Barry is the blur, whoops I mean the streak. Even though it's blatantly obvious....

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation (2015)

Now that's a movie!

[10/10 · 2 January 2016]

I for one am a fan of MI movies so I may be biased. But this was a non stop action thrill ride, filled with great action sequences, plausible story lines and comedy to boot!

This movie gets right to it the first scene we are right in the action. What I love about this movie is that, even though it's complicated, it makes sense. The way it unfolds is excellent, and you can follow it.

This action movie does not make the mistakes of others. It has no pointless scenes, it does not have impossible tech, does not take itself too seriously and is not sexist as fu(&.

I really really really enjoyed that the woman who helped Ethan out was not treated like a physical object and simply 'the love interest'. You know simply a toy for our hero to play with....no. She was an actual human being! Amazing! Sure she is attractive but so is the rest of the cast. I really liked how she was treated equally, very refreshing considering how sexist most movies tend to be.

The movie keeps you guessing, NOT confused. There is a BIG difference there. So if you wanna see top of the line special effects and have a whole lot of fun this is the film for you! I highly recommend it! They keep the film current with some nods to the past films. It's just perfect. I like how the movie does not lose itself in the bs trends most movies do. This one will be a classic that you could enjoy for many years to come.

Grantham & Rose (2014)

Charming movie

[10/10 · 19 September 2015]

I saw the trailer for this movie was was interested in it right away. Seemed unique and kooky. Sure it was a road trip movie, but it kept you guessing up until the last frame of what was going to happen.

Even the opening & closing animations were well done. The story is about a boy who is thrown into juvie. We are never really told why. But it's implied it was for minor crimes. This normally would bother me in a movie, not being told back story. But this movie was so well made it did not bother me. Since the movie centered on what was to come.

I like the older wise woman character. And found her well written. Her interactions with the other characters were spot on and endearing. Also liked the diversity of the cast. All too often people do CW casting. (The vampire diaries I'm looking at you!) Where the only people that seem to exist are young models. But here the cast varies in age, race, gender, style, etc.

The second you assume the movie will become cliché it does not. Everything gets paid off even though it's a relatively short movie. There are 2 hour movies where the audience still has unanswered questions. The movie hits the ground running and does not bore the viewer with tedious set up. We get right into the action.

I also liked how each character had depth and a back story. The pretty drifter with a broken family. The rebellious teen with a mess of a mother. The older woman with her own past and secrets. No one is perfect and I love that. Never did the older woman get preachy. She told it like it was. Even the small roles like the convenience store guy had depth! The troubled young guy asks him what's up and he says something like, among other things, his cholesterol.

It was just a joy to watch this. I highly recommend this movie to anyone that wants to see character development, good acting, and a plot instead of two hours of random supermodels having things blown up around them for unknown reasons.

Before We Go (I) (2014)

What did I just watch?

[1/10 · 9 August 2015]

I'm not even sure how to review this movie since it was just two people wandering around with no beginning and no end.....

Well Chris Evans directed this. That says a lot. I was wondering WHY the directing was so bad. He put the camera RIGHT in Alice Eve's face. WHY? He SOMEHOW managed to make a beautiful actress look ugly. You NEVER NEVER NEVER shoot someone from a low angle. Even youtube stars that 'direct' their own videos know that.... What a novice move. Did he do that to show how 'stressed' she was? We know she does have dialogue and is a good actress....she is capable. How insulting to the actress.

Why did he direct this? As if he does not have enough work as an actor? He is in movie after movie...I don't get it, is he greedy?

Anyways the movie. BORING. We don't even get to see how she was robbed. All the action and pay off is not in the movie. Why the movie is confusing. It's like you feel like you missed the start and end of the movie. It started half way though. Confusing.....

Since you did not see the robbery you are not convinced it actually happened, is she lying. I mean sign of a bad movie if you HAVE to go online for answers. A movie has to AT LEAST convey the basics to you. Near the end we never figure out what even happened. Just so open....

Even in the movie details are left off....I just watch 2 people wander around. Eat food, go to a party, hotel, sit down....can't I just see that in real life? I came to see a movie, a story told to me. This was no story.

Cinderella (I) (2015)

Pointless.

[1/10 · 9 August 2015]

Wow, I mean wow! How can a CARTOON be better, more EXCITING, AND relate-able than a live action re-telling?

They took out the BEST elements of the cartoon, and REPLACED what was left with boring stuff. No more lovely music. No more actual talking animals. No more people existing that are not young models.....

Brings me to my next point, no offense but Cinderella is ugly in this movie. Her step sisters look better than her, hell her STEP mother looks better. The woman prince Charming was supposed to marry looked better. I mean is Disney trying to make a statement? It's what's on the inside that counts? Well, then why did they keep saying in the movie that Cinderella was so beautiful?

When they make actors say something that FORCED it's sad. Bad writing and casting. Did the costume department do the casting? Did they hire this actress since her waist fit the dress? Did they hire the prince since he had thunder thighs? None of the main actors looked good. I'm sorry they looked deformed....maybe I am so used to flawless movie stars....BUT if you are going to hire homely actors don't have people in the movie constantly pointing out how "handsome/beautiful" they are.....

Oh the rest.....well it was really boring. I doubt a 5 yo child would find this entertaining. It was just so sad. Drek all the way as well. Disney is so desperate making this movie. I mean after they started making Cinderealla 2, 3 etc...and other Disney movie sequels it was bad enough. This is really bad a pointless WORSE remake.

Significant Mother (2015)

Trash, just trash, NOTHING good here keep moving, nothing, really zip zero zilch nada! I'm serious!

[1/10 · 9 August 2015]

I am a comedy fan. Let's start out there. I am a fan of even the most screwball comedies. It's crazy, well who cares I laughed! BUT.....this show is crazy WITHOUT the laughs.

It's about a very attractive 'older' woman dating a very sculpted torso. I mean the show showed so many $ex scenes I almost forgot it was a TV show and just some soft core p0rn my TV accidentally picked up. I'm sure if I take out the p0rn scenes there will only be a couple minutes of actual dialogue.

That's the problem with modern TV go for the cheap shot/thrill/lowest common denominator. All I remember from the pilot was two people constantly getting it on. Then some guy in a restaurant or something....

Again the show is implausible. Not just because the set up is bad, the acting is bad, the delivery is bad. But because a guy THIS young running his OWN restaurant in THIS economy? ?????? Umm.....yeah this show is on the CW for a reason. Might as well be labeled a fantasy.

Which brings me to my next point. What the CW does is sell fantasies to people. Look at the Vampire Diaries, 90210, The Originals, Beauty and the Beast, etc.....ALL people are generally young attractive models. In real life there are ALL people existing in the world. Old, kids, disabled, various looks/races/weights/etc....

This show skews so young, with it's vulgar content I am VERY concerned who the intended audience is. The people in the show all act like CHILDREN! Disturbing.....

Anyways this show is so implausible that it makes no sense. Seems like more of an exercise in a drama class. Yeah, the acting is THAT bad. These people were CLEARLY casted for their looks not acting skills. The woman playing the 'older' woman is 44. MOST 44 year olds don't look like that. And not to be mean but most 20 something guys are chasing women of their own age or YOUNGER. HELL MOST MEN OF ANY AGE are chasing teen girls/20 yo women..... I really HATE how they make a TV show SO implausible. It creates a false sense of security for women. "Well in that show that 40 something woman got a young man so can I." Nope just in TV land sorry. Most divorced 40 something and older women are viewed as old washed up chopped liver. Very mean and WRONG. But these are the facts. And most 40 something men do get their teen girls and 20 something women or women much younger them themselves, why? Because they purchased them.....

Only watch this show if you have no brain and/or like soft core p0rn. Not intended for intelligent people, people with common sense, or values.

See You in Valhalla (2015)

Meandering

[1/10 · 25 April 2015]

Perfect word to describe this pointless movie.

So we have a family that is never really explained why they are in so much conflict. The main girl we follow was knocked up in high school OK...that happens to a fair amount of people. One of them was in the closet....OK? Again frequent occurrence. Another brother that knocked up his high school girl friend. What happened to the mother? She died. But why? And what is with the father? Also never explained.

Seems like more of an exercise in drama class than a movie. "Ok class create a situation with lots of conflict." But we NEVER get any back story or explanation as to why these characters are the way they are. And worst of all they DRAG and DRAG out the movie. Within 5 minutes you ALREADY can tell how it's going to go.

It's so unoriginal. Probably the most unoriginal movie I have ever seen. Even when they re-do/reboot etc. movies like King Kong and Spider-Man for the billionth time AT LEAST they put a new twist or interpretation on it. But this movie is cliché after cliché. Let's count them all! 1. douche bag guy from hs wants to get back with the girl he knocked up saying 'we could have made it work' 2. all gay men are sex crazed and have no morals 3. all the crazy people are really right in the end 4. never question the relationship you are in 5. yell at a sick parent they will IMMEDIATELY have a heart attack and your whole family will somehow magically bond. etc...

Even the characters themselves were stereotypes. None of these people exist, at least not to the extreme that they are in this movie. This movie looks like first draft stuff. Do these writers even do a re- read of their stuff? Even once!? I mean none of these characters seem to exist for more than a couple years. So the brother that killed himself that caused this family reunion...WHY was he a 'viking'? oh right there is no back story in this movie...first draft writing only. Also if he was so crazy and on drugs, wasn't his death not if but when? So why have a family reunion if they all hate each other so much and this brother was insane....oh never mind you can't makes sense of a movie where the conflict is all fake.

Avoid this movie, it's just pointless. It starts no where and it goes no where.

Playing It Cool (2014)

Just wow

[1/10 · 22 April 2015]

This movie left me speechless it was so bad. It took me a while to be able to review it since it was so bad I had no idea where to begin.

Well first of all a DOUCHBAG of a guy, yes I do not root for this @ss#0le at all, pretty much uses/lies to/abuses women. Why? Because his mother left him as a kid? REALLY? LOL MOST people have no real parents these days. Divorce rate is 50%. You MOSTLY have 1 parent most of the time.

SO.... the writers EXPECT the viewer to root for this self-obsessed spoiled brat!? The main character is suffering from what best can be called "Entitled spoiled whiny stupid white boy syndrome." You know those guys that expect the world to revolve around THEM! Wow just disgusting.....

He basically USES women as physical objects for his own gain ONLY, then whines/rants about how he has all these problems. So....everyone should care about you and no one else? Don't these women have problems as well? What about their feelings? Oh right sexism....who cares, just terrible.

As always with "Entitled spoiled whiny stupid white boy syndrome" the subject just expects everything to fall into his lap. He takes a liking to a girl at an event, RIGHT AFTER insulting all the women at said event to be repulsive...wow. She is in a relationship. So what does our subject do, steal her away! Wow classic "Entitled spoiled whiny stupid white boy syndrome!"

Here is what the writers do, ACTUALLY MAKE THE WORLD REVOLVE AROUND HIM. A woman would NEVER go with a guy that INSULTED her. They make her bf a worse man than our main subject. And the girl that is apparently 'in love' with our subject helps him to get this girl? Wow talk about wishful thinking. These things never happen...

More gross things going on in this movie, everyone smokes...disgusting the encouragement of MORE bad behavior. Drink all your problems away...what? Just when it could not get any worse it does! He plans to ruin her wedding! Wow and of course she does not go through with it...random. Bad writing again. This whole movie is warped beyond any realism. NONE of these characters are real. They are even worse than a FANTASY movie. I mean like Harry Potter, at least the characters can exist minus all the magic....

I am assuming it was movies/media like this that encouraged shooters like Elliot Rodger to kill. "Why don't women come up to me?" He actually said it 'happened in the movies.' How sad movies like these exist and some people take them seriously. ENOUGH Hollywood, we see though your (rap. Stop making TOTALLY unrealistic movies. Yes, it's a 'rom-com' but this is too big a pill of lies to swallow!

Superfast! (2015)

Terrible 'spoof' movie

[1/10 · 22 April 2015]

I did not laugh even once.

Normally these spoof movies are really funny. The more ridiculous the movie they are spoofing the better the spoof will be. But in this case they just went for the obvious joke, which is not really funny. At times they mimicked the real movie so much I assumed I was actually watching it!

The only thing to snap me out of it was the bad bad cheap unfunny jokes....oh yes this is a 'spoof' movie. I am a comedy fan and this movie gives spoof movies and comedy in general a bad name. This was clearly made to cash in on the popularity of the Fast and the Furious movies.

Spoofs are supposed to be about the movie itself. This just made cheap pop culture references instead. Pitch perfect, 4G networks, climate controlled cars, etc.... It's as if the writers could not spoof the movie so they shoved in random jokes....

Worst of all was the main actor doing some sort of mock young Keanu Reeves voice impression. But why? Just too much nonsense in this movie. Not even really a spoof, just a bunch of random jokes represented as a Fast and Furious spoof. So if you want a real spoof of The Fast and the Furious don't watch this.

The Boy Next Door (2015)

The movie makes little sense

[1/10 · 19 April 2015]

This movie could have been good, we have good talent in it, except the character motivations are just not there. That is why this movie is a joke. It is listed as a thriller. So it supposed to be scary, suspenseful, violent, but it fails since it all comes off as unintentional comedy.

The reason it's so funny is because none of these characters are real. They just do things randomly to advance the plot. So you laugh at how silly it all is. The movie starts out with Jennifer Lopez's character Claire dealing with her unfaithful husband. It's never really made clear, is she divorced, separated? She still wears her ring, she talks about signing papers. Yet she tries to get back with him? What? She is devastated that he cheated on her and we get shown this time and time again. OK...

So by those standards she should be over him. A younger man is interested in her, he is not underage so no problems there. Why does she push him away, they are both adults. She is interested in him. I mean if anyone saw a 40 year old man with a 20 something woman no one would bat an eyelash. So why it is taboo for women? Again her motivations make so sense. She hates her husband, but refuses a new man in her life? Even though she has started to date? What? This makes no sense. The only reason she went on a date was to build 'suspense'to try to get the audience to 'care' about these people. (They made the date a jerk to the nth degree. OK, more characters not making sense. If this Claire character is so strong in her beliefs then why is she friends with a woman that is her total opposite? That means she would be OK with this young guy who is also forceful like her school friend....since her school friend sets her up on dates with total jerks....)

But since these characters are not real we don't care about them. We are not invested in them. We don't care if they live or die. Therefore when they are at risk of being hurt we just don't care. We just laugh at how silly what they are doing is because it makes no sense. If these were real people they would not be in these situations not by a long shot...anyways. If this Claire character really hated her hubby she would hit the dating scene, if this is true then she would have been OK with getting with Noah, the younger guy interested in her. Yet she rejects everything. Until the end so that the movie can be wrapped up quickly.

That is the problem with modern cinema we make the characters do stuff that makes no sense to reach plot points. Instead of making characters that inwardly reach them. It's bad writing. There is 0 character development in this movie.

Not only that is was shot horribly, sometimes they could not even clearly keep the actors in frame. So if you want to see how horrible the state of mainstream American media is watch this movie. It also serves as unintentional comedy like Twilight. Laugh at the cheesy cheesy lines. Not kidding this is what the stalker guy basically said after he slept with Claire in code in front of her family "Yes it got very wet last night.....I love your mother's cookies." LMAO!!!! CHEESE!!!!!

Love, Rosie (2014)

Perfect example of everything wrong with movies these days.

[1/10 · 1 March 2015]

OK so we have nepotistic casting? Check. We have actors desperate to be leading ones even though they can never carry a movie? Check. A trailer that reveals the whole movie/predictable/no suspense ending. Check. A unrealistic plot by any stretch of the imagination? Check. The whole movie is dedicated solely to launch there actors careers/not about the actual plot? Check.

Yeah I mean this would have been an acceptable movie to just watch and not expect much out of it. But it was so painful to watch, as per the reasons listed above. The movie was SO irritating!

Lily Collins, people like your face too bad you can't act. Very telling is that she actually auditioned for the role of Bella Swan in Twilight! Meaning giving blank stares and not actually acting. Dare I say I need to give Kristen Stewart some credit next to Lily she can act up a storm.

I kid you not, whole SCENES were her making BLANK stares. And this was supposed to emit 'emotion'? Yeah that just emits that you can't act. Also her hair being in her face, are you kidding me?

The rest of the actors do what they can with what they have. But when the plot makes such little sense, you can't really do much. I mean they went though so much and still they did not get together? What? I mean ONE of the things that happened to them would/should have sent them into each others arms. So why did that not happen? Oh right check the list "unrealistic plot". Also if they got together there would be no movie.

That's another reason this movie is so tedious. It's not over until they get together. Wow talk about waiting for the Jeopardy music to end. So stupid.

Another thing I resented was the sound levels. Their words are whisper quiet. Then there is blasting loud music. Did an intern do the sound mixing?

So sad this formulaic 'career launching' torture got so much funding but better movies don't.

Us & Them (2014–2015)

Good, funny, entertaining show with a great cast.

[10/10 · 30 December 2014]

This show surprised me, it was supposed to air on FOX, but never did. However I did find the first 3 episodes posted on You Tube, odd. But I am a comedy fan and saw good actors were attached to this and gave it a try.

I was not disappointed. I'm guessing that FOX did not air this show since it was not sexist enough for them. You know FOX, sexist central. One of the things I like about this show is how the main female character Stacey, played by the lovely and talented Alexis Bledel (Gilmore Girls), is so independent.

I like her wacky family, as well as the wacky family of the main male character Gavin, played by the equally handsome and talented Jason Ritter (Joan of Arcadia). I like how they don't pretend to be these perfect families. Sure it is a comedy and they push things a bit for laughs. But remember it IS a TV show, it does not have to be 100% realistic.

I actually find it refreshing how they just lay it all out there, this is life. I like how they handle the silliness of family life and dating. Their families are overly protective and warn their kids of random dangers as if they are a given. Like giving the girl a rape alarm, and warning the guy of creatures that will travel up their urine! LOL Even though the two are pretty well antiquated, and educated.

This is our new society, people are more free to discuss their life. Like how Gavin's parents discuss their sex life so openly. And how Stacey's family bluntly state how they love karaoke and crafting.

Also the production value of the show is great and it's shot well. It takes place between Pennsylvania (Stacey's residence) and New York (Gavin's residence). Great shots of the city and country life. Amazing variety. Again they keep it real they don't over romanticize these cities or make them overly gritty. It's just life, really well done.

I look forward to this show, if fox has the good sense to continue it. Or at least air in one way or another the episodes that they have already made. I want to find out what happens to these characters. The show has an all star cast of comedy actors! Jane Kaczmarek (Malcolm in the Middle), Kerri Kenney (Reno 911!), Michael Ian Black (Wet Hot American Summer), Kurt Fuller (Anger Management), Dustin Ybarra (Date and Switch). Even all the lesser known actors are fantastic.

The one complaint I have is that the show shows random incidents that happen in that ep at the very start. A bit of strange editing. As it is confusing. It does not really spoil things, but just when you show scenes of out order you get a bit lost. But after watching it's growing on me. I would not mind if they got rid of this and just showed the ep, perhaps put a short intro instead not sure.

But otherwise this is a great show. Sometimes I wounder how some shows made it and others failed. This show is better than most shows on TV right now. Give it a chance people! It's like a rom-com movie spread out into a TV show. The two main characters have great chemistry. The rest of the cast work well together and are each unique well formed characters. Will Stacey and Gavin work out, will their families ever get on the same page, what more wacky adventures will they get on? This show keeps you wanting more.