alana-dill Reviews

Robin Hood (1991)

Lexie, ask your dad about Bergen splitting the arrow shaft

[29 September 2006]

When it came out, I read something about Patrick Bergen ACTUALLY SPLITTING an ARROW on the target during practice. I would love to know whether there were any eyewitnesses to this, because the Mythbusters busted that idea recently and I was just crestfallen. (Is that a pun? it should be).

Lexie, if you're out there anywhere, ask your dad.

I remember seeing the movie when it came out on TV and really did like it. It was refreshing to see the Middle Ages looking worn down at the heels rather than the usual polyester Technicolor Court Jester look. The peasants benefited from the recent release of Monty Python and the Holy Grail in that they really did look like they had s... all over them. Bergin's moustache is an unfortunate artifact of Hollywood costuming, but it's no worse than Flynn's wig in the 1939 version (which was utterly splendid in its own way) (I mean the movie, not the wig) (Did you know that Flynn was a descendant of Fletcher Christian?). And one of the funniest things I've ever seen: Uma Thurman, "Diguised as a Boy". That's like saying you can disguise a raven as a writing desk... there's really no confusing the two.

In terms of comparison, Flynn's a 10, Bergen's a 7, Costner's a 3 for this role.

But if I had to choose between Basil Rathbone and Alan Rickman... oh, Lord, can't I just have them both? purrr.

Serenity (2005)

OK, I'm ready for more signal now.

[9/10 · 15 August 2006]

I know the movie sort-of wrapped up the series, but it does hint at worlds yet to be (plundered) explored and it would be so wonderful to revisit these friends over the course of the next few decades.

I saw Serenity first and thought it lots of fun, then I saw the whole Firefly series plus the extras on DVD, then I saw Serenity again and got quite teary. What wonderful, down-to-earth characters! Unrequited love! Sexual tension! Big stupid lugs and the women who do or do not love them! And I wish I looked like ANY of those people. Except the Reavers.

This show was truly a gift, and I'm grateful to everyone who lobbied to get the movie made against all odds. I'm going out to buy me a brown coat.

The Sci-Fi Boys (2006)

Funny, touching, fascinating

[9/10 · 11 July 2006]

Did you ever own a copy of Famous Monsters of the Silver Screen? My big brother had one, and I'd sneak into his room sometimes just to scare myself with the Lon Chaney Phantom picture. Did you start planning for Halloween in August, or make a movie involving an animated blob of clay, a ray-gun, or a pet lizard? I didn't, but I love this movie anyway. I really enjoy low-budget and high-budget fantasy and science fiction. There is so much creativity and enthusiasm behind these special-effects-challenged, cheesy old movies. Now translated into CGI, some seem too real for their own good (while admittedly, some characters, like Gollum and Kong, deserve Oscars for an amazing imitation of life). Using rare and hilarious footage, this film shows how many special effects greats started out with a lump of Plasticine and a dream. This is your chance to get a glimpse of it.

America especially has become a nation of consumers. To steal a phrase from Wes "Scoop" Nisker, "If you don't like the movies, go out and make one of your own." If you love the movies, why not do the same?

The Spider (1958)

This film will Strike Terror into the Heart of Any 4-Year-Old

[4/10 · 11 July 2006]

Is it a spoiler if I warn you that someone dies and it's pretty gross? That's really all you need to know. I saw this movie in 1966 or so, when I was a little kid, and it scared the bejabbers out of me - and that was in black and white on a 13" screen. I'm 45 and I still freak out when I walk into a spiderweb, especially when it's got strands 2" thick and coated with spray adhesive. My husband - such a kidder.

Now people bring their kids to R-rated pics (I've seen 4-year-olds at Gangs of New York, a 7-year-old at Bram Stoker's Dracula, a 3-year-old at LOTR, a 10-year-old's birthday party at From Dusk to Dawn, ...). Please folks - never bring a kid to a Harvey Keitel movie.

Anyway this movie is pretty good for its genre - way better than the one with Shatner from the 70's where they dress up VW's in fake fur. If you enjoy this, check out The Giant Gila Monster. It's even more teenagers awakening atomic evil with that scourge, rock-n-roll; and there's a cute little girl in leg braces who needs rescuing, too.

A High Wind in Jamaica (1965)

I hope High Wind in Jamaica gets released on DVD!

[9/10 · 3 May 2005]

This movie really does deserve a revival. Given the resurgence of interest in things piratical, it's about time.

It's a bit like "Lord of the Flies" but I *hated* that movie. I prefer to have a little more faith in humanity. (Silly me.) I saw High Wind on TV sometime in the 70's, but missed part of it. Oh, for a VCR. Oh, for TiVo! Not as cute and ar-harhar as most pirate movies; it's more a study of human vicissitudes than a romp. Gangs at sea. But still: pirates. Stowaways. I mostly remember the harsh seaside light, intense suspense, creaking ropes and the sense of salty wind, and some serious but not too cute little girl observing (was this about a chicken or a dead man? I can't remember.) "He's got his head on backwards!" Coburn and Anthony Quinn are grizzled and fascinating. Quinn has to be one of the most amazing, versatile actors ever. Plus, what a *man*! purr.

I'd just love to see it again and fill in the blanks.

A Mighty Wind (2003)

Doesn't have to be mean to be funny

[9/10 · 11 February 2005]

Some felt that this was too close to reality to be considered a parody, but I thought it was beautifully done - made fun of the cloying smugness of some "folkies", but mixed it with genuine pathos. I have a feeling Eugene Levy may have lost a couple of friends to bad acid trips - his portrayal was hilarious, but not cruel. Christopher Guest continues to amaze me with his light touch; most comedies put people in bad situations and make them squirm their way through; instead Guest takes apparently mediocre characters and puts them in situations that stretch their personalities.

Contains the single funniest comment I've ever heard about model trains.

Suggested double feature: This is Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffman, or Bob Roberts

Dead Girl (1996)

If the BIG GUY (Kilmer) liked it, it must be good. Right?

[13 May 2004]

Well, no dear. Val Kilmer is a sensitive, funny, intelligent, attractive actor with both range and depth - probably one of the best of his generation (also mine, since he's a year older than me). His performances in several films - most notably The Doors, The Saint, Real Genius, and Kill Me Again - have been wonderful. But he has a real problem choosing intelligent scripts. I'd love to see Kilmer do more comedy; it would be really fun to see him parody the "iceman" character or, hell, I don't know, he just needs to spend more time on skates and less time portraying creepy people. Unfortunately I doubt he reads these comments...

Open Range (2003)

A classic, but not an instant one

[10/10 · 28 July 2003]

more the stir-over-a-slow-flame kind. Saw it at a sneak preview in San Francisco last Thursday night. It is a cinematic equivalent of Slow Food: authentic, satisfying, and leaving you with a bigger picture of the world.

Many of my favorite films have a strong "sense of place" (apparently from comments at the preview I'm not alone). Open Range is ostensibly about a range war in the 1880's; our protagonists are "free-rangers" (G-d, I hope I remember that phrase right, otherwise I've made this film out to be about chickens!), nomadic cowboys who graze their herd and move along before wearing out the range. Kevin Costner gave post-screening interview; he stated that the best films are really about the relationships between men and women; and I think that people will watch Open Range more than once, to savor the development of those relationships.

Having come off of seeing Charley's Angels (my bad) and 28 Days Later (worth seeing), in the first 20 minutes of Open Range I found myself feeling restless, like, "um, when does the movie start?" But the beauty of Open Range drew me in, and it's still with me. The light changes over the mountains and grassy hills; wildflowers nod, water flows, cows do their bovine thing, mud has a life of its own; the cowboys speak tersely and communicate obliquely (but the dialog is a joy when it comes), with long intervals of action between talking. These men clearly go for months without seeing a town; they're dependent on each other, wary of the outside world, a little stir-crazy despite the wide open spaces because they can't afford to be away from each other too long. The plot grows more complex and slowly builds to a showdown between avaricious local landowners and the free-rangers.

There's a flawless sense of chemistry and developing relationship between the primary cast and supporting players. There's also enough danger and action to keep adrenaline junkies humming along happily. I'm not crazy about gunfights but the film's climax is chilling. Although there were some shots of the townsfolk scrambling for safety, the gunfight doesn't occur in a vacuum and isn't cartoonish. Of course there's the obligatory child-in-danger moment, but I especially liked the showdown's denouement, because the townspeople react with realistic shock and rage at their peaceful town's desecration. How would you comfort your 4-y/o daughter after a gunfighter bleeds to death on your front porch? So many movies put such an emphasis on violence, yet no one gets really HURT. In this movie, the violence hurts, and that feels right.

During the post-screening interview with Costner, he mentioned that (this is not an exact quote, just the gist) a Western is a formula and there are time-honored elements to that formula: the challenge is to honor the formula but not fall into cliché. I have an I obscure and useless talent: picking up on cues that inform later plot twists. Normally when I see a movie, I find myself nudging my husband (and sometimes whispering VERY QUIETLY): (don't worry, no spoilers here) i.e., "she dropped her earring... The kitten is toast... That nail gun has a future..." Well, the film did indeed provide cues, but the payoffs were fresh and interesting. I'll spare you further detail. During the interview, Costner did explicitly state that he HATES it when audiences talk during movies. I sort of hate it when OTHER people are talking but...If it's me talking, please remind me to shut up, I deserve it. Now for my pet peeve: don't bring your kids to R-rated movies. Really. Everyone benefits from your getting a sitter, ok?

As for the performances, Robert Duvall is dead-on. His character, Boss, is the spiritual twin of my father-in-law who was raised in Eastern Washington farm country. Costner is well-cast as a man who finds a dilemma that keeps growing more horns. His forte is solid, action-oriented yet thoughtful American men, and he's really at his best in this role. Annette Bening is amazing: a mature, gorgeous, adult, complex, intelligent *woman*. Comparing Bening's performance to her repellant characters in Bugsy and the Grifters, and the high- maintenance b!+(h in American Beauty, she reveals extraordinary talent, depth, and versatility. Costner mentioned that she was courageous enough not to wear makeup for the role, and indeed she looks radiant and lovely but REAL. She makes Goldie Hawn look like a 2-bit tart. (No offense, Goldie, but now that you're gonna be a grandma, it's ok if you back off on the Botox. Kissing those little fingers and toes will be so much easier if you can feel your lips.)

I'm rooting for Bening to get at least a Best Supporting Actress nomination. And yes, it's a great date movie.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Loved it, wanted more, and less

[10/10 · 9 July 2003]

I literally grew up with Lord of the Rings; a map of Middle Earth hung on the living room wall next to the map of my own local county, and I didn't know it was a fictional place until I was about 12. So my first view of Jackson's Hobbiton had me weeping with joy. I truly love the vision that has brought these stories to life. I would only wish for a teensy bit more adherence to the original... and can

forgive the loss of Bombadil. I think that Return of the King will definitely get a Best Picture Oscar with the understanding that it encompasses the trilogy of

films. I hope Jackson will undertake The Hobbit while he still has his Gandalf and Bilbo.

As for the Two Towers:

You know, if they hadn't taken the time to throw Aragorn off a cliff, they might have been able to fit in the the Huorns.

And then there's that thing with Faramir.

The Wargs need work; they look a bit rubbery.

But, I almost completely loved it. I think Viggo Mortensen's growing into

Aragorn's character as he goes along. It's an interesting performance; Aragorn is being slowly revealed over time just as in the book. Gollum is beyond my

wildest nightmares; Gandalf is permanently inhabited by Sir Ian (and I suspect vice versa as well). The film is way above and beyond any comments I could

make about it.

I hope that Return of the King will show Jackson's best efforts to adhere faithfully to the original book. Less time wasted on the battle scenes, more time on the emotional conflicts and resolutions. It will be a much richer film for that.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Loved it, wanted more, and less

[10/10 · 9 July 2003]

I literally grew up with Lord of the Rings; a map of Middle Earth hung on the living room wall next to the map of my own local county, and I didn't know it was a fictional place until I was about 12. So my first view of Jackson's Hobbiton had me weeping with joy. I truly love the vision that has brought these stories to life. I would only wish for a teensy bit more adherence to the original... and can

forgive the loss of Bombadil. I think that Return of the King will definitely get a Best Picture Oscar with the understanding that it encompasses the trilogy of

films. I hope Jackson will undertake The Hobbit while he still has his Gandalf and Bilbo.

As for the Two Towers:

You know, if they hadn't taken the time to throw Aragorn off a cliff, they might have been able to fit in the the Huorns.

And then there's that thing with Faramir.

The Wargs need work; they look a tad rubbery.

But, I almost completely loved it. I think Viggo Mortensen's growing into

Aragorn's character as he goes along. It's an interesting performance; Aragorn is being slowly revealed over time just as in the book. Gollum is beyond my

wildest nightmares; Gandalf is permanently inhabited by Sir Ian (and I suspect vice versa as well). I feel that having Elves at Helm's Deep was a GOOD

decision, because it gave newcomers some understanding of how much the

otherwise-immortal Elves give up when they are killed.

I hope that Return of the King will show Jackson's best efforts to adhere faithfully to the original book. Less time wasted on the battle scenes (which are of course very good but overlong...), more time on the emotional conflicts and resolutions. It will be a much richer film for that.

The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)

now, Val's Brando imitation was pretty good.

[9 July 2003]

I thought the casting was very good, though I think it would have been better if Thewlis and Kilmer had switched roles. Thewlis has a sort of oily quality. Balk makes a great kittycat. Movie was a bit overlong. Worth seeing, but not exactly scary.

Real Genius (1985)

you must use your mind creatively

[9 July 2003]

This isn't a brilliant film, but it's a lot of fun - a nerd's textbook of how to get a life. I know and love math/science geeks (though I'm not one myself - failed college

algebra 2x). This film affirms how sexy and creative nerds can be (sorry guys, I found my geek already). While I don't agree that revenge is a moral imperative, this film's not simply about revenge but about exposing a charlatan skimming

money from a star-wars level military project. A worthy cause. Some of the

dialog is a bit embarrassing, but there are some classic lines. I'd give it 8/10.