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The Retirement Plan (2023)
Hard Drive?
The entire movie is based around a 'hard drive' which is actually a thumb drive which contains some information that everyone is willing to kill and die for and which, amazingly, no one ever thinks about copying to save/hide/backup. Instead, it is as if everyone lives in a world in 1990 and a flash drive is called a hard drive and everybody is computer illiterate. Even the young girl who is portrayed as very smart cannot see the flaw in the entire plot. I managed to sit through the whole thing, but, frankly, there is not a single thing in this movie worth watching. Perhaps if someone decided to enter the real world and make a couple copies to send to the authorities and to return the original to the crooks, no one would have had to be killed. As it is, this movie is a big NOOOOO.
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)
Other Reviewers Aren't Old Enough
How the hell can anyone pan this movie? Everything about this movie is in the same mode as all of the previous Indiana Jones movies, from the chase scenes to the unbelievable escapes to the Nazis to the classroom to the mix of times and space, this is an Indiana Jones adventure from start to finish. The ending left me weeping because I actually saw ALL of the previous movies, I actually enjoyed ALL the previous movies, I loved the formula of the movies, I knew the characters of these movies, and I have grown old with these movies along with the stars. Those panning this have not lived long enough to understand them.
Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)
They Did not Try Hard Enough
Well, Winnie the Pooh:Blood and Honey could have been something special, but instead it was a cheap C movie with unattractive actors, cheap masks, and Texas Chainsaw,dime-a-dozen script and zero redeeming value. What is the point if all a movie does is plagiarize as many horrible slasher movies as it can? There was NOTHING remotely cute, intelligent, engrossing, or different about this movie when it could have been so good. We could have had cute Winnie the Pooh characters with even CGI, and we could have seen the psychological developments as they progressed, and we could have had an emotional stake in this movie.
The Umbrella Academy: Seven Bells (2022)
The Usual
It's difficult to follow saving the world twice with anything that resembles sanity or normality, especially with an artistic reality that has NOTHING to do with actual reality. Then again, The Umbrella Academy reveals, mirrors, or captures reality in ways that most of us rarely get a glimpse of. What struck me most with the reviews I've read so far is that these people have forgotten that we are the puppets, even more so than the characters, of the puppeteer writers, creators, and collaborators of this series. The season is plotted with an outline from beginning to the end, and all the development in between is created to lead us there. Is there illogic? Yes. Is there conflict? Yes. Is there resolution? Not completely. Otherwise where would we find a cliff to hang from waiting for next season?
No Time to Die (2021)
Wish more movies were like this.
Those who disparage this film don't have kids, haven't seen all the Bond movies, particularly the Daniel Craig Bond movies, or aren't old enough yet to reap the full benefits of what they are seeing. The intellectual, maturity, and emotional foundations of this film put the majority of today's cinema to shame. There is no way to minimize the nature of the parental bonds with their progeny, and this film takes those ties as well as the fundamental links, emotional and pheromonal, of one person "in love" with another, and expertly intertwines them into a commendable and proper end to Daniel Craig's reign as Bond, James Bond. The ONLY caveat that I would proffer is that Madeline is about ten years too young for the role as Bond's progeny's mother. Other than that, Bravo!. I empathized, I commiserated, I identified, I wept, and I felt completely involved and at peace with Craig's-Bond's demise. We all have to leave at some point, and this was exquisitely done. Thank you, Daniel, director, script writers, and producers. Some of us know exactly what you did, and we appreciate it.
Moonfall (2022)
What the?
Some people decided to take every space disaster movie plot and every space hero movie from The Last Starfighter to Independence Day and throw out as many tropes as humanly possible and hope some of them stick and turn them into a wild ride impossible to believe movie. As an adult, I was laughing out loud at many of the scenes and turn arounds, but at the same time, I could see how a twelve year old would totally enjoy this movie and never once question any of the situations. In this movie, every single important person is an altruistic hero. We still have some villains, but they don't count. So if I rated it as an adult on a scale of quality, acting, plot, script, etc., this movie would get a 1 star, but even if they intended to make an adult thriller space movie of quality which they failed at, they still created a good, attention grabbing, feel good movie for the family. The only quirk I noticed was the drug reference, but it was momentary.
Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022)
AAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!
Absolutely infuriating from the start to the finish. My ears! My ears! The female actor simply wouldn't stop talking, and every other word is an f-bomb, which I wouldn't ordinarily mind, but it's used like a club throughout the movie to beat the viewers' brains in. If that wasn't enough, we get not only the usual one or two stupid things happening, but over and over and over again. She tosses her weapons, they drive like idiots, the cops are inept, the friends are redshirts, and most infuriating of all is her inability to use the ax to cut its stupid head off. And you cannot pull live wires through a metal pipe or lie in water and zap a metal robot without electrocuting yourself. It's probably not even worth the three stars I gave it.
Guns Akimbo (2019)
What?
So much, so far. This movie took me away from my crossword puzzle and drew me into its world right up until the conclusion. It was great. It was even brilliant. It played upon all the senses and hit all the right buttons for video game players as well as those seeking action and adventure, but when the time came to put the gold medal on the entrant, it failed. Why? Why would the director take what was drawing in the audience and then stick a shiv into the viewer as if he were just a side viewer and not the reason for the film's existence. I am recommending this film to my family but with the caveat that the conclusion is a piece of excrement. Is there another conclusion? The one I saw should NEVER have cleared the editor's floor.
I Came By (2022)
Worth Your Time
You have to forgive some things, particularly TIME. It passes with little help from the director. We have to fill in the gaps based on scenes that are at times confusing, but if you stick with it and watch until the end, you are rewarded with at least a small piece of candy. There was a point near the end when I could see the plot's going in a different direction, and the pessimist in me would have accepted that (That the judge ended up successful), but the director went in the traditional direction, and that was good too--for the optimist in me. Overall, this is a good movie, but it could have been good still if the hero had not had to lose his family to boot, but then I guess we have to ASSume that his wife took him back.
Spirited (2022)
Okay
Did the movie "Spirited" make you cry? If not, either you weren't stoned enough or you haven't lost enough in your life YET. Those who pan this movie simply haven't lived long enough or weren't or haven't had their attitude adjusted sufficiently. At the age of 73, I have lost so many people and endured so much loss that this movie took axes to my heart. In the end, it saw redemption, and that is the saving grace. I have friends who thought it would be too painful to see, but when we support each other, as the movie ultimately reveals, we are ALL stronger than the one, and we ALL can take one another to the next stage.
Eden Lake (2008)
Okay
If it weren't for the fact that fifty percent of the human race is 20-100+IQ points below any of my family, there would be no horror films, but if we can keep pushing that aside, Eden Lake (2008) Is absolutely horrifying and if we like horror, this is a must see. I only wish they had subs for some of the English dialogue.
Stupids? Driving fast through the woods. Staying when it's clear who is there. Popping onto the roof of a shed or under a hut magically. Confronting an obviously twisted group of teens. Not driving slowly to get away. Panicking. Being able to run with a one inch diameter hole in the foot. Etc.
The couple make many mistakes that lead to their demise, but then, that is cause and effect. Normal people would leave the beach immediately when they encountered the buzz killing group, but no, they stay and get what they ask for.
Wickensburg (2022)
Made For TV
This is clearly a Lifetime type of movie "for the whole family." Lots of problems. No one hires an experienced reporter/journalist in a town that wants to keep secrets, SLR cameras with telescopic lenses don't focus themselves nor do they provide photos through mesh fencing without focusing. The movie attempts to develop a Spielberg type of kids movie, but it is all much too light, too simplistic, and overall trite.
Questions too. Magic or NOT magic. Most of the film is collecting the gems which are supposed to be magic/witchcraft and then in the end, we see a magic event which is then stated in the end that there is no magic/witchcraft which means all the dreams and visions didn't exist. So which is it?
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)
PG13?
Why is this not rated R? This is an adult action/murder/violence/betrayal movie that has NOTHING/ZERO/NADA to do with kids 0-21. This is one of the most violent, anti-kid movies I have ever seen that was rated PG13. The subliminal violence and anti-peace, anti-humanitarian, anti-child characters, actions, and scenes are unbelievably allowed to be advertised to children and fantasy aligned viewers alike as some sort of fantasy lovable beast movie. It is nothing of the sort. It is a vicious/ sadistic movie that should be rated R and reviewed so that only those who appreciate violence, vengeance, and the worst of human nature will be interested in seeing it,
Dual (2022)
No Thanks
A movie composed of robotic "actors" just to display some murders, blood, and guts. Would be nice if we could actually feel something for any of them, but no one loves robots, so no thanks.
Creepshow: Mums/Queen Bee (2021)
Nice Retro Take
This episode is EVERYTHING the original Creepy magazine was, the B-movie critter, the hapless kids, and the glowing eyes were like seeing a memorable family movie. Thanks, Creepshow, for nodding to your roots.
Ozark: Pick a God and Pray (2022)
Death of Plot
The entire plot falls to pieces here. There is zero chance that the police and feds would NOT have found the barn and drugs that Ruth later uses to keep the series running. I will watch the rest, thanks to Ruth, but this is simply an inconceivable plot twist.
Apex (2021)
Another Failure
Another horrible movie and another horrible non-acting job by Bruce Willis. Instead of making a movie in which we see all the stealthy, creative, and intelligent ways the prey manages to outwit and defeat the hunters, we zip, nada, nothing but cut and dried scenes in which we have no idea how the hunters die, let alone how they became the hunted. I'm sure Willis's pay scale allowed only one day on set so there was no time to show anything but his monotone lines and not contact with any of his inferiors on set. Again, this is a horrible movie. A waste of everybody's time and money.
Becky (2020)
In a word...Unbelievable
We as the audience are supposed to suspend some belief, but we are not supposed to accept a total break from reality in a supposed realistic drama. This movie wants us to believe that a 13 year old girl who is so ignorant that she shoplifts, doesn't immediately run to neighbors, risks getting caught to go back and look inside her house with four felons, doesn't run even when told to, kills her dad due to this self same ignorance, and goes to her playhouse instead of running again, suddenly becomes so smart that she can defeat four large felons-not gonna happen. Then it just piles on top of that. Of course the fat guy can't swim. Everyone watching this knows this when he goes into the water. So much for suspense. Then when the OnStar clone comes on, she reverts back to stupid. All she has to do is say lots of police, killers here killed my family, etc, but no, she runs again. At the fire she runs directly toward James instead of any of the 359 degrees elsewhere. The lawn mower with no lawn and the boat motor start right away after they have been away for how long? I wish I could get my lawnmower to do that. I can get into a movie like KickAss because we have a young girl who has lived her life for this. This movie is close to junk. It is more like a made for TV movie than a pay for movie. If I want that kind of junk,.....well, I NEVER want that kind of junk. This movie is a waste of time and intellect.
Nomadland (2020)
I Wish We Could Reply to Reviews
I read so many of the reviews in which the reviewer panned the movie, characters, and director that I Wished We Could Reply to their Reviews. People who don't have that keep moving, see new things, and merge with the earth drive simply cannot understand what this movie and this lifestyle is all about. Poverty or income has nothing at all to do with this drive, this need. Those with little live with little, and those with more live with more, but they all live for the next deer, mountain, cactus, ocean, river, lake, moose, hummingbird, or live oak tree they see. The restlessness that Fern has always felt resides in many of us, and the ability to assuage or eliminate that need, that drive varies as much as the resources available to those afflicted. Fern lets us know that she has always felt this connection to nature but was seduced by the system and her love for a man and succumbed to the situation, but she was still the nomad within herself. I am a nomad. I have the means to rent or buy and put down roots, and I have tried to "fit in," to "connect" with my adult children and my old friends, but there is that within that NEEDS to see a new horizon, a different lake, an untrekked trail. When we are in the last decade or two of our lives, the writing is on the wall. We have worked, we have loved, we have failed, we have tried, and we have struggled. If we cannot follow our hearts, our souls, our purposes, our loves during this final act of our lives, then what will it all have been worth? Fern made her decision and has finally come to know and accept herself. The only sadness is that it took so much denial and tragedy for her to find her.
Red Devil (2019)
Good attempts and novel scenes
First of all, I'm assuming that those who rate this film 8-10's were high when they saw it. That would explain the ratings. There are definitely good and innovative scenes and lighting and cinematography. The use of Sergio Leone type music and gunfights is interesting but also confusing/questionable. Clearly there is a goal in mind here, but that goal is complicated/nullified by the resolution in which the person who uses the most innocuous of all the drugs is revealed to be the most delusional of them all. Perhaps some see this as genius, but I'm certain most would see it as self-destructive as far as the film is concerned. The presumptions that this grab bag of individuals from the UK/US/mixed somehow exist in an American county gels with Leone's making Italy/Spain into the US Southwest, but it also blurs the purpose of the film. It plays upon B movie gimmicks, but in doing so, it becomes another B movie.
Rogue (2020)
Horrible, illogical, unrealistic garbage.
They go to a lion farm only two days after the deaths of the occupiers. There are several vehicles full of gas and a large gas tank on stilts. There should be refrigerators and cupboards full of food and many guns and lots of ammunition and other weapons. All they have to do is grab some guns and ammo and drive off to the next town. Instead, they eat a health bar as if it is the only food they have and become prey to lions and the middle easterners they could have killed. This is all after they put themselves in danger rescuing a girl when they were apparently able to plant explosives in places where they wouldn't kill anyone and then all they had to do was surround the camp and pick off the middle eastern Muslims who are somehow in Africa and speaking English as they fought the fires that were totally ineffective and non-lethal. I don't know who wrote this, but it's one of the biggest loads of hooey, I've ever watched. There is absolutely zero attempt at reality. SciFi Channel would be proud to air this. That is the level of quality.
Counting Bullets (2021)
Making movies just because?
Speaking of counting bullets, what about the bullets and weapons of all the men they killed (like Lowe finally does in the end and even then leaves all but a few), what about the bullets and weapons of their own dead and wounded, what about the weapon and ammo of the man they captured? Why would you set up camp out in the open and separate from your only means of transportation?
How does a smoking shrub cause agony to a man through his clothes just from the touch?
I'm with the other reviewer, why does IMDB allow obvious shills to submit reviews which are totally out of whack with what the movie is.
When someone rates a hastily made flick with amateurs a nine or a ten out of ten when only one out of a hundred or more movies truly rates a ten, then there is trouble in River City, and the credibility of IMDB ratings becomes increasingly suspect and inaccurate. This movie is what it is, a sophomoric film with decent actors and a lot of inconsistencies and plot problems, and it sure isn't Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid like the ending would have us think.
Settlers (2021)
Suicide is Cool Movie
I'm a 71 year old man with kids and grandkids, but this movie makes me want to be an incel. If Eve refused to have sex with Adam, we wouldn't be here we are told. If a man and a woman are the only people left on an island, I guess it's cool for the woman to hide on one side of it and never interact with the man? She could have two, three, four plus kids and have company, but no, she commits suicide rather than have sex with the last man on the planet. I really don't care what the producers had in mind here because it simply doesn't make any sense. If it did, we would not exist as a species. I'm super liberal, but this irks me to no end.
Let Us In (2021)
Nice film to watch with your kids or grand kids.
Hearkens back to the days of films like "Toy Soldiers" and other 80s&90s flicks. Not quite Spielberg, not so over the top, but I think kids will like it. I was going to tank the review in the beginning because Luke and Carly are within 20 feet of lots of kids, yet they are supposedly unable to yell or to find them, and the news report says there were no witnesses. As the movie progressed, I felt it was not so relevant because this is NOT an adult film, so it requires a different approach. Ms. Moss is a natural actress. Looking forward to her future roles. Adults? No reason to watch this without kids.
Run (2020)
Lifetime Movie
I read all these wonderful reviews, and then I watched the movie. I didn't know this was a 'Lifetime' movie. I thought I was watching a quality, independent film. Boy was I surprised. If we are going to rate movies, we need to know if they start off as mediocre made for TV type movies or actual pay money for movies. Yes, I know this is supposed to be a pay for movie, but it is not. It is TV type hype from beginning to end. It might as well have Valerie Bertinelli as the mother and Selena Gomez as the daughter. Made for TV movie might be a six start. Pay money for movie, it never crawls out of a three. If you want to watch this nevertheless, then read the synopsis and scan to the last 20-25 minutes. That's all you need. Waste of time. I could have watched a pay for quality movie.