chippysmyth Reviews

The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: A Shadow of the Past (2022) Season 1, Episode 1

Visually stunning

[5/10 · 3 September 2022]

It really is beautiful, the director and set crafters are massively talented and so are much of the cast.

Unfortunately someone somewhere decided to give one race a real world regional accent and then made the ludicrous decision not to cast any actors from that region. Oops.

Maybe they wanted to, but they also wanted to keep up their diversity numbers and no one told them black people in Ireland are rarer than feathers on a cat. Oops.

When they realised this they should have done the smart thing and allowed the actors to use their own voices, it was always good enough for Connery, but they didn't and it left me with the uncomfortable choice of endure the assault on my ears or watch on mute with subtitles. I chose the latter. Unfortunately this also kills the soundtrack which dramatically decreases the viewing enjoyment and I'll not be going back for the rest of the series which is a little bit sad, but I'll cope.

I wonder what would happen if they had decided the simple folk should have a Patois accent and cast white actors who couldn't do it justice, or worse still who could.

It did look pretty though.

Resident Evil (2022)

I didn't expect much here

[9/10 · 19 July 2022]

Then Lance Reddick showed up and I immediately started thinking it would be ok.

It is.

Let's be absolutely clear, I've no history with the game. I did enjoy the films but after the second they were distinctly diminishing returns while trying to top their predecessor, good for 90 minutes of escapism but not much more.

This series is not that.

Yes it suffers from a fair bit of the current political climate and has a distinctly "woke" feel but it does manage to ground itself quite successfully so that it doesn't get bogged down in it, and a lot of that comes from the actors who are quite exceptional at their craft.

I mentioned Lance Reddick who never fails to impress but everyone else involved, (Ella Balinska, Tamara Smart, Siena Agudong, Paola Núñez) does a superb job, a testament to their skills and those of the writers and directors. The story is tightly constructed and manages to maintain its integrity while bouncing across multiple time periods, it never feels laboured or gimmicky it just keeps it moving forward at the right pace. Some people will find it slow, others will be confused but these are not your people, these are people who struggle with their Subway order.

You will be left wanting more but you will not feel like you wasted your time.

The Boys: Here Comes a Candle to Light You to Bed (2022) Season 3, Episode 7

Can't deny it's a good episode

[7/10 · 1 July 2022]

Not massive amounts of action but we get to see why Butcher is the way he is.

Unfortunately they didn't spring for 2 plane tickets to get a couple of young English actors to play young Billy and Lenny. Instead they got a couple of lads who did to Cockneys what Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman did to the Irish in the 80s. It's PAINFULLY bad, proper turn on subtitles and hit mute bad.

When are producers going to learn? AMERICAN ACTORS CANT DO OTHER ACCENTS. (Exceptions apply. Looking at you Alan Tudyk and James Marsters, but other than those two it's just a massive nope.)

It's always the little things that screw series like this up, The Deep and Cassandra having a blow out could have happened anywhere but they made it happen in the bedroom when they know they have an actress who is going to spend more energy covering her modesty than acting, he'll they could have given her lingerie instead of insisting on being topless and then shooting round it. It's annoying, it takes you right out of the scene and the show and they can definitely do better.

Fix the details Kripke, you have the big stuff right.

The Boys: Herogasm (2022) Season 3, Episode 6

It was great but...

[6/10 · 24 June 2022]

And it's a big but, although there was also a big penis not that the two cancel each other out.

The but in question is the forth wall break when Hughie (Jack Quaid) and Starlight/Annie January (Erin Moriarty) were both naked and the director inexplicably moved to a shot which had them about an inch tall.

There were lots of other body parts in the episode and yet someone decided these two are too famous to tell the story as written so blushes are spared and as a result the audience is pulled out of the narrative as weird angles and cuts are made.

I don't particularly like gratuitous nudity but The Boys has no balance, a head being exploded or crushed is perfectly acceptable but God forbid you see someone's skin when they're having sex. It already has the adult rating so it IS a choice to make violence good and sex/sexuality something shameful.

Directors and actors have a responsibility to the story, their personal morality should not influence character development and in this case its even more pointed because the people making the big bucks were more than happy to let extras and smaller recurring characters go naked in their place.

Good episode, could have been great and I won't be the only one saying that.

Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)

Memory problems

[2/10 · 22 June 2022]

That's the take away. Everyone in the Star Wars Universe has severe memory issues, the kind you'd associate with a brain bleed that the makes the doctor say you were very lucky to survive.

Did Leia forget she met Obi Wan when she sent the message "General Kenobi, you fought with my father during the clone wars" in A New Hope?

Did Luke forget being chased round his house by a psycho with a big red glowing death stick?

Did Vader forget seeing his old master 8 years earlier or is 8 years now the milestone for "a very long time" when feeling a disturbance in the Force?

Thats just the tip of a massive iceberg, its all just crap, there is no timeline, there is no canon, Star Wars has become a parody of itself so that Disney can make more money. The only people truly enjoying this fit into 2 categories.

1) those who got paid HUGE sums of money.

2) those who were very lucky to survive

Just nail the coffin shut and move on, no one needs more of this.

The Lazarus Project (2022–2023)

Brace yourself...

[8/10 · 20 June 2022]

Now, firstly if this doesn't get a second series I am going to find the person who decided to leave it on a cliffhanger and words of a deeply personal nature will be shared.

Secondly and more importantly it's fabulous. Starts off as a serialised version of Timecop and by episode three you realise it's a very different kettle of fish.

What would you do if everything that's happened since the 1st of July was erased? Everyone born or conceived winks out of existence, everyone who died comes back. How many going in which direction would make you want to press the button that does it?

Think you have answers? You don't, you REALLY don't and what makes this show so great is that it doesn't either.

That's not to say there are arbitrary decisions but you get to feel your way through intensely muddy waters with each of the well rounded characters. The writing is superb, the internal logic holds together and it could very easily go off the rails but some bright mind sat there and built a set of rules and stuck to them.

With this level of writing it would be a shame if the acting was mediocre which has been known to happen when studios get their acting talent based on the number of Instagram followers rather than ability. I don't imagine they blew the budget on their cast because although you'll recognise people they're not household names, they're just really good.

It's hard to go deeper into the story without launching into major spoilers but the paragraph above covers it nicely. You get to follow the newest person on a team having to deal with those concepts and navigate the absolute mind (synonym for sex) that comes with a Matrix level reality check.

I loved it, some people (idiots) won't get it, they'll complain that it's confusing or complicated while telling you Reservoir Dogs is their favourite film and despite it actually involving time travel it's not as hard to follow across 8 episodes as that film was in 80 minutes.

If you like intelligent, thought provoking dramas then you'll like this, if Made In Chelsea is your idea of culture then leave it alone.

First Kill (2022)

Fabulous premise, terrible execution.

[4/10 · 12 June 2022]

I really mean it when I say this has a great premise, which would explain the fabulous directors (Amanda Tapping, Eric La Salle) and actors (Elizabeth Mitchell, Gracie Dzienny) they were able to attract but unfortunately that must have used up a huge chunk of their budget because they were completely unable to afford someone to look after continuity.

Good scifi and fantasy requires a bible, the laws of nature that rule the universe they are creating and if this show has one, not everyone in the writing room got a copy. There are massive holes in the plot and because of the continuity issue not all of them will be able to be retconned out if they get picked up for S2.

I'm not talking about standard continuity issues like a character going from being barefoot to wearing shoes (which obviously they have) or cutaways where no one bothered to block or mark the actors in scene (this too) but they also have people forgetting what they did yesterday, who they are related to and issues with timing that make the entire series seem to occur within 4 days or 3 weeks at the same time. It is WILDLY disorienting.

Then there are other things that just seem out of place, like the graphic nature of the making out which is more suitable for the 4th date between 2 people who have had plenty of experience rather than a virgin so shy she had been unable to ever speak to an object of her affection, huge amounts of exposed flesh and lingerie for no narrative reason whatsoever. I mean there are a LOT of bad writing choices which either came from giving people too much latitude and not enough background on previous episodes or from decisions being made by committee.

There is also a huge effort to be woke; a matriarchal society, almost every relationship is mixed race, the protagonists and antagonists are black and white literally, but you do get to decide which is which for yourself. Subtle it most definitely is not.

If you can get beyond all that though, there are some positive points apart from the experienced people mentioned already who cost them the visual effects budget along with a proof reader and continuity person. The new talent in the two leads is superb, they had some ropey writing to deal with but still managed to bring their A game to their performances.

But that's it, the rest of the cast is mediocre at best and as I already indicated the visual effects are beyond ropey, but it's still not a bad watch if you have a few hours to kill.

The Expanse (2015–2022)

It ends well.

[9/10 · 19 January 2022]

I'm not saying you'll be happy, I'm not saying you will have every storyline sewn up in a neat little bag, I'm not saying every character you love will survive or that every one you hate dies, but this show ends well.

If you look at the likes of Lost, Game of Thrones, Lucifer (more than once), Buffy The Vampire Slayer (second time of asking) etc. Most people will say they ended badly, for whatever reason and there are many valid reasons to be unhappy, they ended badly. You walk away confused, unhappy, lost, bereft and deeply, DEEPLY unsatisfied.

This is not the case with The Expanse, I want more, I really want more but if there is no more I'm happy with what I had, it feels complete and I feel like I can revisit is at some point in the future, the shows I mentioned above I will never return to and for a long time I told everyone I saw they were "must watch" television.

There are a lot of reasons for this and it starts with the showrunners, at some point before production began they made a bible, they had the science of their universe, the laws that could not be bent or broken, they had the personalities of all of their very three dimensional characters and they absolutely stuck to them and made sure everyone else did too.

Some of these laws don't exist in our universe, "Spin Gravity" is not a thing here but there is is and that's ok because it, like every other rule, is applied consistently throughout the show and that's important.

All the actors bought into it too, they embodied the personalities they had to play, at no point did anyone say to the writers "I don't think my character would shoot a baby in the face." because if a baby needed shooting in the face it was well within that characters personality profile, there was probably even a line that said "would shoot a baby in the face just to stop it crying". That the same person would also beat a man to death for idly crushing a plant leaf or not recycling would not be a surprise.

That is not to say that none of the characters evolve or grow but they are adults, changing a personality you've spent a lifetime cultivating is difficult and the beauty of this show is that it absolutely recognises that change is hard and that people will mostly be themselves.

With that in mind there is very little betrayal in the whole series, because the characters are so fleshed out you can see where loyalties lie and that informs every decision but how these people interact is where the tension and drama is built and It. Is. Gripping.

I'm purposely avoiding storylines because if you've not seen this, I want you to watch it. I want you to feel safe knowing its going to be worth it, on every level. I don't want to highlight any particular actors or actresses because in the best possible way, no one stands out, they are all simply fabulous at their craft.

If you like the books there are enough differences in translating it to screen to make it a new story but the core is there and with that firm foundation the structure holds. If you don't know the books then you have the joy of meeting everyone for the first time and I'm more than a little jealous.

Eternals (2021)

Lacking

[3/10 · 12 January 2022]

Fair to say this is a direct entry into the bottom three in my list of MCU films because it's ultimately just... bleh.

It does have some nice touches and the usual bits (CGI and Cinematography) that are fantastic but it's just a bit too self aware and stuck in a Twenty-First Century American morality for its own good. There are jokes, not good ones and not many of them but they are there albeit you need to know why its amusing to see Kit Harrington and Richard Madden constantly saying "I love you" to a character called Sersi, although constantly using her name to drive it home does make it less and less amusing with each iteration to the point that it's less of a joke and more of a justification for why both of them got their roles that's up there with Ed Sheeran's appearance in Red Notice.

You may be asking yourself why the better actor got the smaller of the two roles, I was until the Ebon Blade was artlessly dropped into conversation late on in the film and then made the connection but I really dont see the standalone film coming to make either choice a worthwhile one.

For everyone else except Gemma Chan, they were all just delighted to get into the MCU either for the money or the prestige but part of the conditions for such a deal is signing up before you read the script which explains Angelina Jolie's completely phoned in performance for her small amount of screen time.

The story is fractured more than suffering from holes, it's trying to be set in history while completely ignoring the values and natures of those times. The most glaring of these is embodied in Sprite, played really very well by Lia McHugh. Even if she was as described on wikipedia, as having the appearance of a 12 year old girl, her frustration at not being able to find love would only have been an issue for the last century and even then only in the West, barely the blink of an eye to a 7000 year old celestial being especially when you consider she's one that can, as seen in the opening scene, project an aged appearance when needed. If after all this time she still has the emotional maturity of a preteen, making her human is not going to make her grow up except physically and losing all that power, and facing mortality is going to make her a basket case before she finds anyone to murder in their shared bed.

Then you have the climate change denial by dint of explaining it away as the planet heating up from the inside, murder justified by belief in Gods plan that's never actually called out as wrong, mental illness being treated by moving the person suffering away from everyone and not even attempting to understand or do anything actually helpful, and why would an all powerful being create a super soldier that can only receive orders and give information when they have a clear line of sight?

I honestly cant tell if the film was written by a right wing committee or one from the left, maybe both were involved and then some poor bugger had to fill in the gaps and failed so that after almost three hours you come out with a story that feels unfinished and disjointed, you can look to individual aspects like the performances by GC and LMcH, the expertly choreographed fight sequences and the grand scale of it but as a combined unit it just falls flat, it's not even average overall, just a bit rubbish, and for a studio like Marvel, that's just not good enough.

Squid Game: Mugunghwa kkoch-i pideon nal (2021) Season 1, Episode 1

It's terrible.

[10/10 · 26 September 2021]

No seriously Mr American TV executive its absolutely awful, you shouldn't watch it. You definitely shouldn't give it the time of day, just keep scrolling for something no one cares about and remake that you imaginationless pr*ck.

Come on you know they'll try and then this review will be true because they'll never do it justice.

Never Mind the Buzzcocks: Episode #29.1 (2021) Season 29, Episode 1

Any reboot was risky.

[9/10 · 22 September 2021]

This one paid off.

It didn't hurt that four of the panelists have been on Taskmaster and therefore know Greg Davies pretty well and the two musicians were up for a laugh and had a huge amount of front but I've not laughed this hard for months. The ad breaks were a distraction but not a terminal one.

Best advice, don't let nostalgia kill it for you, it's been six years.

Intergalactic (2021)

There is potential here.

[7/10 · 2 May 2021]

Unfortunately everything about it is just a bit rushed.

It's not just that the pacing is off, but whether they were constrained by budget or by the uncertainty of filming in a pandemic, it looks like they used the first take so they would definitely get it all shot before being locked down. The former is a pain and bad storytelling but the latter causes far more problems. Some scenes are well acted, well shot, well put together and some are... not. Amateur would be generous, cheesy, overacted, tacky, terrible would be closer to the mark.

The story sticks to its own internal logic, but there are gaps, so much is unexplained. Some of the characters are wildly inconsistent, irrational and don't actually develop the story or even have anything resembling an arc, one of them Tula (Sharon Duncan-Brewer) is so vile but one dimensional you will spend your time with her on screen trying to build up emotion so you could wish her dead. Unfortunately hate requires effort and she's just not worth it.

The cast is the high point, but the rushing does impact their performances especially when combined with weak dialogue they look almost embarrassed to speak. When they are given a solid bit of story telling they rise to it but at some points its very much phoned in and they would rather be anywhere but on that set.

That said I did watch to the end in one sitting, its not high art but its not meant to be. If there is a second series there is a fair amount of work to do and some parts that will need to be retconned, if they can do this and take their time it may work out.

Without Remorse (II) (2021)

If you can ignore the fact that it bears no resemblance to the book...

[1/10 · 30 April 2021]

This is STILL a terrible film.

The pacing is wrong, the writing is pedestrian and the acting is completely one dimensional.

It has no heart, people die and you feel nothing, you would feel a greater sense of loss after a bowel movement.

Some set pieces DO work but they are not held together by any story arc or sense of narrative. The writers try to create emotional attachment by sharing given names but it feels so clunky and the acting with meaningful pauses just makes it really REALLY tacky.

Given how good the cast are this film must have come with a huge payday because its a career low point for all of them.

SAS: Red Notice (2021)

There are good points - contains spoilers.

[1/10 · 12 March 2021]

Good points. Ruby Rose isn't on screen for long.

When she is her acting is typically wooden but on this occasion its not entirely her fault, the writing and direction are shockingly bad. We never care for any of the characters, none of whom are even vaguely believable, not even the initially selfless doctor played by Hannah John Kamen, who is good considering the dross she had to work with, but her arc to someone not just comfortable with murder to actively encouraging it is just terrible.

The exposition comes mostly from dialogue which makes it incredibly pedestrian and says a lot about what the makers think of the audience they're aiming this at.

If you like something can completely switch your brain off to watch then you will enjoy this, if you have even a minute amount of common sense or basic education you'll probably hate it. I wish I had the option of 0 stars because honestly I want the 2 hours of my life back, I'm writing this to spare you the same.

Pixie (2020)

Apparently Ireland has run out of actors...

[3/10 · 15 February 2021]

Thats the only reason I can think off to explain using an English lead and an American.

Now I have to say I adore Alec Baldwin, perfectly cast in The Shadow and The Hunt for Red October but like all Americans he cannot do an Irish accent, and Ms Cooke while equally talented is also hamstrung though not so badly, her accent at least touches the four provinces albeit it does them all at least once in every 3 words, where Baldwins lands somewhere in Iceland trying to escape Boston.

This will likely be lost on an international audience but for this Paddy it makes the film unwatchable.

Twist (2021)

90 minutes of respite from the world

[8/10 · 4 February 2021]

I wouldn't normally bother writing a review of a film I rated 8/10 but given the absolute torrent of unjustified and unreasonable abuse its getting I thought I should.

Sky seems to get a lot of this for its original productions and while I am no fan of the Maxwells and I think they charge a bit too much for the service, they do commission and buy some top quality programmes and films.

This is a good little film made by good people, probably on a tight budget to boot.

Are some bits on the cheesy or overacted side? Sure, some of it is what you would expect in the constraints of a theatre setting rather than on screen but in Covid times EVERYTHING has that due to reduced crews and being forced to keep people apart as much as possible. Does this make it less enjoyable? No.

The characters are familiar if not especially well rounded, their motivation is clear and for the most part they're portrayed honestly and convincingly. The male lead, Raff Law (spitting image of his father btw) is new, keen and undaunted by sharing the screen with Michael Caine and Lena Headey probably because he grew up around people of their calibre. Equally unperturbed is his opposite number Sophie Simnett who has to do a lot of the heavy lifting for the 2nd act.

If you only want to watch "perfect" films and television then you should probably take a break until 2025, and then just keep avoiding it anyway because you've no art in your soul. If you describe this as "predictable" it's based on a story over 100 years old with dozens of stage and screen adaptations, what the af did you expect? Guaranteed you would be complaining if there had been a surprise ending.

For the rest of the "bad reviewers" I'd say this, how long have you worked for Netflix/Amazon? I would need to really, REALLY, hate a film to leave a negative review. I've not even done that for "The Watch" and I'm firmly of the view that burning at the stake is too good for the showrunners after the disrespect they've shown to the source material, a relatively light turn on Dickens should not inspire this level of vitriol unless of course, someone is paying for it.