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cursive_iz_king
Reviews
Hell Asylum (2002)
Eeehhh...
This movie wasn't bad for a movie of this style and budget. The characters weere all pretty narrowly drawn, but hey... what can be expected? The gore was pretty good. The backstory as to why the house is haunted is all but forgotten as soon as it is introduced, and the kills have NOTHING to do with the violence. This movie is Nowhere near 80 minutes either, it clocks in at 67 minutes by the beginning of the credits. This movie would have been much more effective if it had taken a few more notes from the MTV show Fear, which it seemed very similar to. It was OK, though. All in all a very forgettable movie that is OK to waste a bit of time if you are so inclined. About a four out of ten. Maybe opt for the much more enjoyable $la$her$ if you want a better low budget horror film.
Showdown (1993)
Absolute Brilliance
Dear God, thank you for this little piece of brilliance! This is a terrible film, but it works for some reason. A few observances:
1.) Apparently 40 year olds have to attend high school now. 2.) Have you ever seen that many people get their asses handed to them at school? 3.) I guess this actually is plausible, because the creepy principal is always too busy smoking confiscated cigarettes and hitting on the oh so sexy sex education teacher. "I hope we can work together sometime." coy smile. Brilliance. 4.) Ben Stiller's wife is the "love interest". If I ever meet him or her, I'm going to have to ask about some memories from the making of this little gem. 5.) The writers knew that everyone was going to call it a Karate Kid rip off, so they slip in the reference to wax on/wax off when the kid is cleaning the bathroom. This still feels like a second rate karate kid. 6.) Villain - "You know where the door is. Leave through it." Isn't this a little redundant? Couldn't he have just gotten away with the first part? 7.) The bad kid (cough) looks a hell of a lot like Dr. Cox from scrubs. That's actually what prompted this little rant, I wanted to see if it was his kid. 8.)Billy Blank's Haircut should've won best supporting actor. 9.) This club where the people fight for money... Do they serve beer there? Is there a place like this in my town? I'm there in a minute.
Truly entertaining film. Waiting on the director's cut DVD. Watch it, live it, enjoy it.