Greatwhitewhale Reviews

Space Jam (1996)

Family entertainment with the Loony Tunes, Michael Jordan and Bill Murray!!!!!!

[6/10 · 26 October 2003]

A nice family film but really, it's bringing back the Loony Tunes characters in a more modern field and letting the fact that Michael Jordan with them will make Jordan fans want to see this.

But the Loony tunes still got it, Daffy Duck's as stupid as ever, Bugs Bunny still thinking he's so great and the new arrival of Babs Bunny does make you think of the new Minnie Mouse for Bugs Bunny. Wayne Knight's good, Bill Murray funny and Michael Jordan....well, his acting's not too bad till he arrived in the Loony tune land.

So a good film to watch with kids and eat popcorn.

Mr. Nice Guy (1997)

A movie ain't good when the only good bits are the action and stunt scenes

[23 October 2003]

(CONTAINS SPOILERS EXCEPT LAST PARAGRAPH)

I love Jackie Chan, I really do, but you can't just make a movie with great fight scenes, stunts and explosions and everything else about the movie is poor!

What was the point of him being a TV chef? What was the point of Jackie's fellow chef talking about Jackie's background in the dinner scene? That Redhead that got Jackie into this whole thing, did she have a point in the rest of the film? Did she need to be in her underwear in that scene? What was the point......OK you get my point.

It's just that it needed to be smarter and not brainless. That bad guy wasn't tough enough. Needed a better ending (Jackie doesn't even kiss his "girlfriend" and it just cut straight to the outtakes!)

I would only recommend this to Jackie Chan fans. But for everyone else, you really shouldn't bother.

Star Trek: Enterprise (2001–2005)

I'm not a trekkie but....

[19 October 2003]

....this is all right. Got nice funny characters, storylines and different from the other Star trek serieses. Scott Bakula makes a good captain (so bialantly obvious he's lonely with that dog) and you know T'Pol is eye candy but she's funny (people with no emotions usually are). Has some great episodes, some a little bad but all right.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

People shouldn't really put this down because it's a sequel

[10/10 · 19 October 2003]

OK, it's not as good as the first one but it's good. Now we know what the Matrix is all about (as we had to watch the first one again and again to get it), it's now all about saving Zion. The cool characters are still here and some new ones are pretty cool and funny too. And like the first one, there's some stuff in here you won't quite get until someone else explains it to you, just like the first one!

Cool effects (come on, the lorry crash scene was wicked), a little romance and confusing plot. It's the Matrix all over again!

Top of the Pops (1964–2023)

All it is is music performances and a chart rundown

[19 October 2003]

I tend to switch over when someone rubbish plays. But when someone good plays, I watch. I find the presenters quite annoying, they need comedians like Johnny Vegas not Fearne Cotton! And it's such a BBC programme, it bigs up Lame Academy!

Friends (1994–2004)

What keeps an unoriginal programme going?

[19 October 2003]

Probably how funny the programme is! 6 different people all living in New York, I could think of that! But the characters are great and the situations they get into are pretty hilarious. Chandler is the funniest and is always sarcastic. Joey is lovable, Phoebe is a dumb blonde who believes in spiritual things and that's a pretty fun character to have. Monica is very obsessive and clean (these days, someone who is like this is called a Monica), Ross is quite funny when he has his moments on how camp and nerdy he is and Rachel........well, OK, 5 great characters. Fun show, impressive guests, great situations, so sad to see it go!

Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway (2002–2024)

When Saturday night TV was plagued with Dale Winton's quizzes and Denis Norden's laughter files, Ant and Dec saved the day

[18 October 2003]

Ant and Dec have created another SM:TV Live for evenings! Good competitions, guests (well, debatable when they get people from Reborn in the USA, Coronation street and other ITV programmes) and bits of shows. Great evening TV does it again!

SM:TV Live (1998–2003)

It was a great children's programme till Ant and Dec left

[18 October 2003]

Ah, the good old days. Wonkey Donkey, Challenge Ant, Chums! Ant, Dec and Cat were the best. Ant and Dec leave, who do you get? Some bloke from Hollyoaks who got fired, frigging H and Claire from Steps and presenters you would forget about anyway. Brian Dowling was all right then he left. And losing Chums, their best sketches was a big mistake.

So thank you, Ant and Dec, SM:TV will be a great children's programme. From when it started till you left.

Bulletproof Monk (2003)

All right but......

[18 October 2003]

(CONTAINS SPOILERS EXCEPT LAST PARAGRAPH)

It's in serious need of character development. Jaime King's character only appeared in a few scenes and all a sudden she's one of the monks guarding the scroll? Who was that monk exactly betraying the other monks? That guy who was holding Seann William Scott's hand? Not developed.

I just thought all this film cared about was the relationship between Chow Yun-Fat and Seann William Scott and long action scenes other than anything else.

Seann William Scott was disappointing. I thought "Oh, the guy who played Stifler in American pie, this should be funny" but no, he was too boring and Chow Yun-Fat got more laughs than him. Also the British stereotypes and annoying grand-daughter of wrinkly Nazi?

Having said that, it's all right. But I suggested renting not buying.

Ali G Indahouse (2002)

The British version of American pie

[7/10 · 17 October 2003]

And more hip-hop too. A fun film. Ali G is still the same as he is in his TV serieses. Pretty good cast too (Michael Gambon, Charles Dance, Martin Freeman). As guess one of the reasons why I like the film is because.....it's British! Teenagers in England is always going to American films and it's a relief to see it do a movie like this.

I do warn though, not for old people, parents or just someone who doesn't like sick humour, there's some very American pie stuff here.

Spice World (1997)

No, Spice girls, no

[2/10 · 17 October 2003]

Only the Beatles can get away with doing good movies. The Spice girls deserved that Razzie award, could they BE Steven Seagal if he was a British woman?

Impressive cameos (Roger Moore, Meat Loaf, Bob Hoskins) and not-impressive (Neil Fox). It's terrible, it tried to be a Hard day's night, it's not.

Awful, crap, I could go on forever.

The Simpsons (1989– )

It is a brilliant funny show

[16 October 2003]

You heard this all before but The Simpsons is one of the greatest shows on TV and really funny. Homer Simpson is one of the funniest characters on TV. Great characters, great guests (they have 3 of the Beatles!), great satirical humour. Even if the new episodes were not like the ones before, it's still strong.

So it's superb TV. YEAH!

Celebrity Deathmatch (1998–2007)

It's a sick idea, so why is it so damn entertaining?

[15 October 2003]

2 Celebrities (or more). Beat the crap out of each other in the ring. And the celebrity who kills the other wins. That's pretty sick so why is it good?

Probably because it's a show that concentrates on trying to make it funny as well as violent. It's quite a satirical show as it pokes fun at the world of celebrities and the celebrities themselves. (Movie stars act like famous characters they play, sports people usually fight like they play that sport). They also got their own characters. Johnny Gomez and Nick Diamond the commentators who get into situations during the show. Stacy Cornbred the backstage reporter, Mills Lane (though he's real) the referee. So it's a pretty fun show.

I'll never forget the first time I saw this show. It was the sci-fi special. Celine Dion was performing the national anthem and they poke fun at how she sings. Then Keith Flint from Prodigy comes in with a chair and whacks her with it. Then Celine Dion battered Keith till she pulls his head off and swallowed it whole. She turned into an alien and went into Don King's head. And I wanted to see more. And before I knew it, I saw David Duchovny and Gillian Anderon vs. Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith, Jim Carrey vs. Mariah Carey, Quentin Tarantino vs. Spike Lee, Backstreet boys vs. Beastie boys, 3 Stooges vs. 3 Tenors and more!

So great show, see it unless you're faint-hearted.

Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)

Yes, yes, it's a good film.

[10/10 · 15 October 2003]

The plot's great, the characters are great, the special effects in the special edition are great, a lot of this movie is great.

You may think it's over-rated but the thousands of people who love this movie can't be wrong, go see it, hate it, don't watch it. Love it, then good.

Yellow Submarine (1968)

This is absolutely insane.....but brilliant!

[9/10 · 11 October 2003]

When the Beatles started doing songs like "Yellow submarine" and "Bull dog", this film most definitely reflected those songs.

There is such an imagination in this film, a flying hand, a boxing dinosaur, insane-looking animals, spinning tops, too much!!! It does seem like the animators were on drugs. But somehow, they made the film this fun film just like A Hard Day's night! It is a film to experience really.

The Beatles do not voice themselves but the actors who do did a brilliant job, and the films they say do capture the other Beatles films. Besides, there is an appearance from the real Beatles.....

"Lucy in the sky with Diamonds" was a great scene and some other songs are cool too though you do find they just play a song at anything (when they all turn old, they sing "When I'm sixty-four"!.

So see it, see it, see it, even if you may be way over your head.

A Hard Day's Night (1964)

Good fun, but don't expect it to be a normal film

[10/10 · 11 October 2003]

There's no real plot-line in this film except that it's crazy stuff that happens when leading up to a TV appearance. But the film is really fun.

The Beatles are obviously not great actors (Ringo's reaction when the train passenger turns off his radio) but they weren't awful. They play themselves and not trying to be someone they're not. Even though it does seem that they are trying to be different characters (Lennon's insane, McCartney's sensible, Harrison's a bad ass and Ringo's sensitive.)

The Beatles are not the only ones who steal the show, Paul's grandfather also develops as a comic relief and he's.......very clean.

And of course, they perform songs and there's where some of the magic of this film comes from. They mime of course but don't let that distract you.

In summary, a very fun film to watch on a Sunday afternoon. It's more for Beatles fans but people of all ages can watch it.

Friday Night with Jonathan Ross (2001–2010)

Good fun

[4 September 2003]

Jonathan Ross maybe one of those people who are everywhere on TV but he does show that he could do a pretty good talk show.

Maybe his jokes are a little crude but you got to love him. But when he gets a guest on, it does seem he tries to talk more than the guest him/herself and continues to show clips of what the person has done.

But for what just seems a normal talk show did have some great guests. Jim Carrey, Michael Madsen, Paul McCartney, Elton John, Ozzy Osbourne, Yoko Ono, Madonna, David Bowie, Roger Moore and he even got Marilyn Manson!!!!

Overall, a fun hour-long show to watch on a Friday night (even though it wasn't filmed on a Friday).

Fame Academy (2002– )

Lame academy

[1 September 2003]

It was called that in the first series and now the second. I don't see a great programme where you see what the young people get up to or how good they sing, I see a desperate attempt by the BBC to mix Big brother with Pop idol to get ratings. And the self-promotion and everything BBC doesn't help either.

It's just too boring, too "it's all being done before" and lame. Cat Deeley and the celebrity version (with such celebrities as Kwame Kwei-Armah and Paul Ross) doesn't help it and Patrick Kielty cannot get any charisma.

I like to end off with a game where you try not to say "Who?". OK? David Sneddon.

The 100 Greatest Movie Stars (2003 TV Movie)

An Interesting Turn-out

[10/10 · 26 July 2003]

Al Pacino has been voted the greatest movie star of all time by the British public. But what about the list?

I was very surprised by such people as Robert Downey Jr and Winona Ryder in it. And Kate Winslet came in No. 55. Above Richard Burton, Elizabeth Taylor and Vivien Leigh. And what has she done? Titanic? Quills?

Apparently, Audrey Hepburn is the greatest actress of all time, only coming in at No 13.

Michael Douglas has beaten his own father coming in at No. 100, as Kirk Douglas wasn't even in the list at all!

People have questioned why such people as Laurence Olivier, Alec Guinness and John Gielgud are not in it but this is who the British public voted for, and really it's not about the acting, it's about the movie star quality of these people.

It was an entertaining show to watch though I do wonder why they concentrate on how dodgy these people's private lives are (Hugh Grant for example). Well done, Mr. Pacino.