ChainsawDaveandMisterShoop Reviews

Sex and the City (1998–2004)

offensive and unforgivable

[17 March 2004]

Unfortunately this show seems to have captured the hearts, minds and wardrobes of a large amount of people (women). This is pretty unforgivable as it displays pretty much all the worst characteristics of life and people in the western world.

Issues like mental, physical health,sexuality and death are dealt with in the most shallow, trite ways, it is pretty much an afront to everyone else on the planet. gay people are stereotypes and fashion accessories, cancer places limitations on your wardrobe, and the main characters continue to prance about in a shallow, self obsessed pretentious world we are all supposed to believe is fabulous. Its more of a fantasy than Lord of The Rings.

The show has not encouraged woman to be sexually liberated or empowered, but merely made it fashionable to talk dirty while having lunch with friends. I'm all for brainless woman acting with loose morals, but to think that gossip and clothes make you satisfied, fulfilled and a good person is a disgraceful message.

the final insult is the patronising, philosophising voice overs. its like the wonder years in a cheap wig, but LESS subtle. I'm sick of seeing brainless losers like Geri Halliwell on television giving life advice as if she was the Dali Lama. Sex and The City does this on an industrial scale. I cant see anyone but a lobotomised gold-digger think the voice over was anything but a lonely,money hungry tart trying to justify her shallow meaningless existence to herself.

the worst American "virtues" now being celebrated world wide

Hustle (2004–2012)

rubbish

[16 March 2004]

Further proof that UK television is devoid of talent, on both the acting and writing front. Compared to The Shield, Boomtown, 24 etc... Hustle comes across as a sixth-form student play of Oceans eleven without any jokes or plot. Having ripped off the Sting (twice), the Thomas Crown Affair, and 24 it is just getting embarrassing to watch.

I imagine whoever wrote it has grand visions of being a kind of Guy Ritchie/Steve Soderbergh (both crap anyway) type creator, yet i cant understand how he was ever given a budget, unless he is related to someone at the BBC. And, if the actors are meant to be watchable, let alone convincing, then whoever works at casting has got some strange ideas about charisma or personality

tripe!!!!

NY Graham Norton (2004– )

terrible

[23 February 2004]

More horse manure from Norton. Why are people interested in his self obsessed ramblings? Do they all think that constant sexual innuendo is a suitable replacement for real comedy. The success of this show is another fine example that British popular culture seems to be lost in a dead end.

Forrest Gump (1994)

like watching paint dry... (few minor spoilers)

[3/10 · 5 June 2003]

More hollow patriotic nonsense from Hollywood, if Zemeckis is going to insist on trying to rewrite the past could he at least make it interesting as in the first two Back to the Future films.

The moral of the film is ultimately that despite how stupid you might be, or whatever historical connections with the KKK you have, if you play sports and join the army you can be a good old all American hero. hardly fascinating stuff. I watched this film in theaters in the US and people were cheering at the Vietnam scenes and when Forrest gets his share at Apple Mackintosh. Saw this film again in Britain and the same scenes were greeted with the deserved apathy and boredom. I think that says it all.

If you are interested in seeing a very patronizing and shallow movie about recent American history, then this film is for you.

We Were Soldiers (2002)

Patriotic nonsense

[1/10 · 3 June 2003]

I wouldn't normally comment on a film I hated, but this film really offended me. I Honestly believe it was only made for "gun-nuts" and young teenagers with an unhealthy obsession for explosions and military activity. There is pretty much no plot, except for Mel gloriously defeating "the enemy" in slow motion. There is no attempt to deal with the politics of War let alone the Vietnam situation, just simple US soldiers = good guys, everyone else = bad guys. Honestly I think this film was made as a military advert to aid recruitment. The characters are hardly even introduced before we are expected to be caring about their battles.

Mel has made some great films in Signs and Braveheart so why did he touch this script. It must have been some guilt trip or favor. Compared to Platoon , Thin Red Line, Paths to Glory or Full Metal Jacket this film looks like empty hollow trash.

Once again The Vietnam War is being portrayed as an American tragedy, not a Vietnamese one. Is Mel out to single-handedly rewrite history?

The League of Gentlemen (1999–2017)

right on the money

[2 June 2003]

Growing up in West Yorkshire (England) I had often noted how rural village life has a distinctly Blue Velvet style inbred quality to it. Far from the idyllic pastoral paradise we see in films and television these small communities often have an insane and sinister underbelly. The success and skill of The League Of Gentlemen makes me feel more relaxed as obviously a lot of people have noticed it too.

Many people call the show surreal, but once you are familiar with the characters there is just as much slapstick humor in the show as there is dark, biting satire. The first two series are an absolute joy, from Papa Lazarou to Legs Akimbo, characters appear as extreme parodies at the same time as being utterly real. Great writing, acting, directing and timing. You'll never look at village life in the same way again.

Despite the recent praise heaped on The Office (a fine show) for my money The League of Gentlemen is probably the best television show to be made in England. Essential viewing.

Pleasantville (1998)

Original and thought provoking

[9/10 · 22 May 2003]

A little gem. Works as a great drama, and also as musings on life, segregation, art, racism, philosophy, teenage behavior etc... basically anything you want. The sharp directing and inventive use of color frame a greatly written film with a lot of appeal, and strong performances.

Hollywood should actively make more films like Pleasantville.

Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

One long music video

[3/10 · 20 May 2003]

Think Guy Ritchie used all his good ideas at once in this film, and it still stinks. The whole movie is like a series of visual set pieces and bad dialogue linked together with an adequate but boring plot. I think the success of this film was that it's visual style appealed to wealthy teenagers from Surrey and Kent who like to think they are sharp dressed "cockney geezers" despite the fact they wouldn't dare go to East London for fear of being robbed.

For me Michael Caine is one of the worst actors Britain has ever produced, so to be expected to sit through Nick Moran's terrible Caine impression is an insult to actors everywhere.

The constant stream of poor retro cockney gangster films (Snatch, Rancid Aluminium etc...), and cheeky northern comedies about unemployment (Billy Elliot, Brassed Off, Full Monty) are taking British films to new lows.

Scum (1979)

The Greatest British Film Of All Time

[20 May 2003]

Strange to think this low budget tale of a young offenders institution should be the best movie made in Britain since Hitchcock left for Hollywood. Equally amusing and disturbing this film really does have it all. It works as both great entertainment, and as a terrifying and realistic portrayal of British society. The first half is action and occasional comedy. Watching this film with your friends will give you so many catchphrases and quotes that soon enough you will know the dialogue of the whole film by heart. When the horror of the final twenty minutes kicks in though, it can be too much to watch, the overall feeling after viewing can be overwhelming in both good and bad ways.

An adrenaline rush of the highest order, essential viewing

Sonatine (1993)

Poetry in Motion

[10/10 · 19 May 2003]

A remarkable film from Takeshi. A lyrical, poetic, visual feast that slowly but surely completely sucks you in. If masters make their art look easy then this is a great example of modern film mastery. Takeshi's shots and dialogue appear so simple and natural that you would begin to believe you could do it yourself with a camera, a beach and a handful of actors. Its unlike anything i have ever seen before, and the soundtrack from Joe Hisaishi compliments the film perfectly. Takeshi's slow, lingering, minimal style could put off some viewers, but if you don't mind the more contemplative camera then you have struck gold.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

Am I the only person who hated this film?

[1/10 · 17 May 2003]

I was greatly anticipating viewing this film after all the hype and enjoying the first one at the cinema. Unfortunatley I thought this was the biggest load of nonsense I had ever seen. I kept waiting and waiting for the story to get interesting ... and then the film finished. Gollum was rubbish, the scene when he was talking to himself was so bad I had to laugh out loud. Why did the Ork/Human hybrids have bad Cockney accents " I'm haangry, meats back on the menu" ??? and what was that tree all about. Am i the only person who gets bored by constant close ups and continued Aragon, son of Bagagon, King of Caragon, Ruler of Daragon etc... type dialogue.

It made The Phantom Menace look like Seven Samurai

The Matrix (1999)

Overrated but watchable

[7/10 · 17 May 2003]

The Matrix was groundbreaking in the sense that it was one of the first films that was enjoyable at the cinema that lost a lot when watched at home. Spiderman and the Lord of the Rings too were good at the pictures, but once viewed at home seemed to rely on special effects and close ups to cover up holes in the plot. Matrix had some mindblowing digital rendering and imagery but that can't make up for an interesting idea that wasn't done true justice.

Summer School (1987)

One of the greatest 80s teen comedies ever made

[10/10 · 17 May 2003]

While John Hughes seems to have the monopoly on 80s teen comedies, anyone who loved Ferris Bueller etc... should check out this Carl Reiner masterpiece. Great writing, flawless direction and perfect performances from the lead roles help this film portray summer, school, (as you could guess from the title)and teenage rebellion with charm and wit. Mark Harman is widely considered to have made his name on his looks, but the performance he gives in Summer School is one of a comedy master, with subtle hints of a father figure who never grew up himself. A timeless feel-good classic.

two thumbs up.