SirJun Reviews

Extinction (2018)

Best Netflix produced Sc-iFi film to date

[5/10 · 30 July 2018]

I wrote this review to counter the many 1 star reviews for Extinction on IMDB.

I've watched all the Netflix produced sci-fi movies to date. Extinction is the best they have come up so far. I include that awful one with Will Smith (with the fairies in it) & the other pointless pyschodelic one where an all female cast play with CGI monsters in the jungle under a translucent dome.

Lets deal with the obviously bad bits in Extinction first. Yes the children are slightly annoying but do NOT justify a 1 star movie rating! For anyone with an IQ over 1 the twist in the plot sholud explain the childrens behaviour. Which leads me to other popular complaint, the lack of chemistry between the female & male leads. Again I refer again to the plot twist to explain their emotional behaviour.

Now for the good. Extinction an interesting, thoughtful film clearly not in the class of Ex Machina or District 9 but still a decent B movie like the Judge Dread (2012) remake.

If the plot twist had happened earlier in the movie I believe the ratings on IMDB would be higher. Or maybe not (as some of the 1 star reviews for Extinction are just imbecilic.)

In summary Extincton is a enjoyable watch (once the plot twist is revealed) Solid performances from the cast all round including an appearance from Mike Colter (Luke Cage) A tighter pace on the first 20 minutes would have helped the film.

Definently worth a stream watch (& not a download)

For those with an IQ below 1 here re some examples of a 1 star sci -fi movie.. 5th Wave, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, Battlefield Earth, Any film that has Sharknado in the title.

Our Universe (2013)

"Our Universe" ...The truth is out there...just not in Our Title

[1/10 · 23 May 2014]

Right from the start of "Our universe" I knew it was going to be bad.

The speed edited voice over spoken in a monotonous weird droning tone had my spider sense tingling. Something wasn't right here. 15 minutes in I wanted to hit stop & eject.

No information regarding the UNIVERSE instead I was being treated to Our Solar System for 11 year olds! Once I'd figured out I been conned by the misleading Our Universe title & my anger had subsided enough I continued to watch hoping to gleam some new insights into our Solar System.

I watched to the end.... I was crushed.

"Our Universe" is Bland, unengaging, boring, uninteresting, average graphics, no real new information, poorly presented at times confusing documentary destined for the bin.

Do yourself a huge favour & watch any or all of the documentaries below instead.

Nova - Fabric of the Cosmos, Stephen Hawking - Grand Design, BBC - Wonders of the Universe, BBC - Seven Ages of Starlight, Science - Through the Wormhole, National Graphic - Inside The Milky Way, National Graphic - Journey To The Edge of the Universe, IMAX - Hubble, IMAX - Cosmic Voyage

Frozen (I) (2013)

Disney Is Officially Dead

[1/10 · 9 March 2014]

Frozen has a score of 8 stars. How, who.. WHY?

From the opening Score I knew Frozen was going to bad. I just wasn't prepared for how much & people it's mucho bado!

The opening score was clearly used to add a Lion King feel good factor. Why?.. Why would you open a film about cold, ice & snow with African themed music? Why? Where's the context for that music?

This sums up Frozen. Lots of goods ideas badly thought out & used outside of a clear context.

Disney is dead.

Were now back to the dark days of perfect looking women who aspire to get married. Have perfect figures. Men are either overbearing & controlling or stupid & inept.

Frozen is 10 steps backwards for girls/women & 100 steps backwards from "Brave"

Ridiculous illogical script, below par humour (two gags in the whole film), annoying characters... the list is endless. The music is average, uninspired & out of context. The songs felt forced & just thrown in randomly because "...We gotta have song here.." They quickly became tiresome, destroying my engagement rather than enforcing it.

So Disney. Is this it? Is this what Disney is aspiring to be in the 21st Century? Here's a tip Disney. The more you look backwards the more irrelevant you become to this & future generations. You are not Walt & you shouldn't try to be. That time has passed.

My daughter & I grew up with Disney... ...After Frozen.. we both agree Disney is dead.

JLA Adventures: Trapped in Time (2014 Video)

For the Love of...

[1/10 · 2 March 2014]

What the hell is going on? Who are the people who conceive drivel like this? Who the blazes is in charge of quality control. Why does anyone whose name is credited with this animation still have a job? This is as bad as it gets folks. It's just plain awful to the point of stupid. I don't care what age you are, this is duff. Ignore JLA adventures in time, avoid it, burn it, bin it just DON'T WATCH IT. Anyone giving credence to this garbage by rating it anything higher than 3 should have their IMDb membership suspended immediately pending investigation. You have been warned. IMDb 10 line rule has compelled me to continue. So I'll number rate JLA A.I.T for the folks that don't like reading. Animation 1 Dialogue -11 Script 0 Plot -10 Costume 0

Byzantium (2012)

Bypass-zantium

[3/10 · 6 August 2013]

Byzantium has three stories that make up the whole. The present. The Past (18th century) & a nonsense love story.

The two main lead characters (Gemma Arterton & Saoirse Ronan) are not big screen actors, I'm sorry but they just they aren't. After 'Hannah' 'The Way Back' 'Prince of Persia' 'Hansel & Gretel' & 'Clash of the Titans' I promised myself to avoid all future movies they appeared in. However, I broke this promise because Byzantium sounded interesting.

(Note to self.. I thought I was wrong once.. but I was mistaken!)

The back story, of the past is the ONLY redeeming quality in the movie. It was impressive, engaging & well done. Considering the shoe string budget the atmosphere, costumes & special effects worked a treat.

However the rest of the movie is a boring tiresome mess.

Decisions are made by the characters that make no sense. At points in the movies I laughed out loud the script & acting were that ridiculous.

In a nutshell Byzantium Is Interview With a Vampire ..inverted.. minus the great acting.. & cohesive believable story. 3 stars for the back story.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

Hansel & Gretel: Straight to the bottom of the supermarket bargain bin

[1/10 · 20 May 2013]

My reviews are always simple & too the point. Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters currently has a rating of 6.1 stars on IMDb. What! That's 4.1 too many! Here's the redress.

I'm not going to tell you how bad the movie is, (just read any of the IMDb "hated it" reviews they're all pretty much spot on.) I'll just use the two main actors as the only reason you need to AVOID this rubbish.

Jeremy Renner: Interesting in the Hurt locker, OK but stiff in the Avengers, sucked in MI 4 (everybody sucked in MI 4), super sucked in the Bourne Legacy.

Gemma Arterton, Cool in St. Trinian's, Invisible in RockNRolla, Wooden in: Quantum of Solace, Prince of Persia, Clash of Titans, & every other film she's appeared in. (basically she was born to play Pinocchio's wooden half sister in a remake involving guns & leather costumes & out of context rude language)

This film blows & not in a good way.

The Man with the Iron Fists (2012)

No Style, No substance.. No point!

[1/10 · 15 December 2012]

This isn't a review more of a warning. Do not watch this garbage. The Man with the iron fists is not a movie. It's a mishmash of nonsense rolled up in ineptitude.

How has this movie received a 6.3 rating on IMDb? TMWTIF is a truly painful watch. The choreography for the fight scenes are AWFUL, the acting is painful to watch, the story is BORING, the dialogue is juvenile, the narration serves no purpose other than to drag the story further into dreary pointlessness. The soundtrack does not work with the movie, I'm sorry it simply doesn't & I love Wu Tang.

The man with the Iron fists is garbage on an epic scale. Sucker Punch was a bad movie but at least the effects/action had the cool factor. TMWTIF has nothing going for it. GI Joe is a more engaging, entertaining movie!

RZA is gonna have to dig deep into his Wu money if he wants to continue directing films because no sane person in Hollywood will bankroll any movie from him ever again. not even Hallmark TV.. hell not even SY-FY TV!

If you like martial arts/kung fu movies then I would recommend any of these alternative, way better films.

'Reign of Assassins' [2012] 'Shaolin' [2011] 'True Legend' [2010] 'Bodyguards & Assassins' [2009] 'Ip Man' [2008] & of course 'Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon' [2000] even 'Swordsmen' [2011] is a better film and that sucked.

I'd rather be tied to a chair, & forced to watch Dragonball the movie on repeat for a week than sit through 1 more minute of The Man With Iron Fists. What a shambles of a film. KMT!

V/H/S (2012)

V.H.S. Vulgar Hedonistic Stupidity

[1/10 · 19 October 2012]

This film (I use the term film loosely) FAILS on every level. It's BORING BORING BORING from the start until 35 minutes in when I hit the stop button & switched of this...

...steaming unimaginative, terribly shot, dismally acted, horribly written, vulgar, pointless pile of doo-doo. Horror movie? What horror? Where was the horror? I've seen more horror in a Scooby-doo movie.

If i'd paid to see this rubbish you'd have seen horror when I went to my money back, believe me.

ANYBODY giving this nonsense more than 1 star should by law have their IMDb account suspended... indefinitely. They should have their passports taken while immigration investigates WHAT PLANET THEY CAME FROM.

If you liked Sucker Punch you will like this movie. For the rest of us over the aged over 12 avoid this crap.

Finally to producers of this movie Shaky cam is OVER, move on. Or if you can't do it like Chronicle DON'T BOTHER.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

A Lot of Rise and Not much Batman

[5/10 · 22 July 2012]

There's enough reviews on here about The Dark Knight Rises for me to skip the details and tell you simply...

The Dark Knight Rises isn't as good as "The Dark Knight." Nowhere Near as good. All fans of the Nolan franchise can agree on that.

Batman isn't given enough screen time. All BATMAN fans can agree on that.

The villain 'Bane' didn't have the depth of 'Ra's Al Ghul' (Batman Begins) or menace of 'the Joker' (The Dark Knight) and was used mainly as a smoke screen for a sub plot of which there are many. Which brings me to ..

..The plot. No spoilers but there's a lot going on. Too much. Which took screen time away from the films main character...Batman!

I left the cinema feeling entertained yes, but cheated at the same time.

Some people (clearly by the amount of 10s handed this film loved it)

But I say if Nolan had changed the villain(s), shortened the film and added more action then The Dark Knight Rises would have been a more entertaining and engaging film. Instead we got Too much Rise and not enough Batman. 5/10

Rites of Spring (2011)

More Wrong than Rites...

[3/10 · 14 July 2012]

Low budget slasher, that copies most of it's ideas from Jeepers creepers 1 & 2.

It takes at least 20 minutes to even get going (and by that I mean for something.. hell anything interesting to happen!) I watched this film because of the reviews on IMDb which said said the gore was cool.. Where? when? Two badly done fake blood splatters and one comical rubber finger slice later any hope I had Rites of Spring being any better than a bad student film project left.

Better films (..as in the plot, acting or effects) in this genre are..

Husk [2011] Triangle [2009] Summers Blood [2009] The Collector [2009] Amusement [2008} Kill Theory [2009].. If you haven't seen one those films I suggest you do over Rites of Spring.

Even the ending sucked big time.

Avoid!

Halo Legends (2010 Video)

Hell-No Legends!

[1/10 · 1 May 2011]

Other reviewers here have gone into the plot details each of the 7 animated stories so I wont bother. Halo Legends is a mess. From the beginning of the film up to the point where I pressed the stopped button (halfway though story 3) it's mess.

The story telling (narration) is painfully, painfully slow. The Anime is just simply awful. Halo Legends had the look and feel of Ulysses 31 [1981] A great animated cartoon in it's time but released as it is today would look dreadful because technology and animation techniques have moved on clearly the artist/animaters involved in Halo Legends haven't. I just couldn't connect or relate to anything I heard or saw in Halo Legends because the look and narrative pace is so wrong.

I gave Halo Legends a go because I'm a fan of the games and thought the story from the games was impressive sci-fi so hoped to learn more about the Halo Universe.

I learnt that Anime feature films suck. (and the technique should only be used on the cartoon network) Halo Legends is a blatant cash in that was made without care or love.

Avoid at all costs.

Sanctum (2011)

Stank-tum

[3/10 · 22 April 2011]

I always keep my review simple there are enough other reviewers to give you the plot. Sanctum has some good camera shots that look fantastic in hd but there aren't enough of them and I've seen more glorious dramatic shots in a BBC documentary. The acting was decent from all involved. But by todays standards that ain't saying much. By the time the drama starts you feel the movie clunk into autopilot, you stop engaging with the characters and it dawns you have a choice to make. Leave now or suffer to the ending. I chose to pause the movie (the advantages of bluray) and finished watching it a couple of days later. All in all I expected more from Sanctum especially with Camerons name all over it. Your missing nothing if you give this a miss. This should of been a straight to bluray movie.

Battle Los Angeles (2011)

A Losing Battle

[1/10 · 21 April 2011]

Here's my review of Battle: Los Angeles. Jerky cam, Jerky cam, Jerky cam, Close up head shot boring dialogue. Jerky cam, Jerky cam, Jerky cam, Long shot 1 second unclear shot of alien. Jerky cam, Jerky cam, Jerky cam, Close up head shot boring dialogue someone shouts "Hoo-rar" for no reason. Jerky cam, Jerky cam...You can tell where this is going.

If your expecting an epic battle between Aliens n humans you've picked the wrong film. If you're expecting to feel humanities struggle for survival as humankind fights for it's existence you've picked the wrong movie. Any episode of Ben 10 has more character feeling and depth than this empty soulless bubble gum movie. I felt zero empathy for any of the characters including the children.

One review I read here compared Battle: Los Angeles as a cross between Bourne n District 9, I'd say it's more Green Zone n Skyline. Lots of running around, tight shots that serve no purpose other than to frustrate the audience. Can someone tell me where was the BATTLE apart from in the title!? Urban warfare n tight close ups (with Jerky cam) do not make a Battle!

Has Hollywood not learnt from War of The Worlds. Clearly not. We went expecting to see a FX driven WORLD WAR n got a boring refugee dialogue driven film with aliens in it. No wonder cinema attendance figures have plummeted. Hollywood we're tired of being conned. Save ur money, download or rent it if you really want to see this film.

And yes it is better than awful pile of steaming drivel Skyline... but not by much. Or maybe I only feel like it is because I didn't pay to watch it and fast forwarded all the boring bits... hmmm.

Sucker Punch (2011)

Sucker Punched my Birthday to Smitherines

[1/10 · 2 April 2011]

It's my birthday. Had a great meal with my family then we went to see Sucker Punch. I've just back in from seeing this steaming pile of mess. My review is simple.. THIS MOVIE SUCKS! The Plot. Decent beginning then quickly became a nonsense of metaphors that you could only find in an Anime. The Action. A CGI driven child's fantasy that MADE NO SENSE even for fantasy. The fight sequences (accompanied by woeful soundtrack) quickly became tedious, boring and pointless. The acting was OK for this kinda of movie (I have seen worse) but the script and dialogue were poor..

Fans of Final Fantasy will love this movie. The other 99 percent of the planet will hate it.

People walked out of the theatre after the first fight sequence because it was clear where the film was going at that point.. NOWHERE. Don't download it. Don't rent it. Don't borrow it. This film is worse than Skyline. Because everybody involved in it should known better.

You have been warned.

Bodyguards and Assassins (2009)

Martial Arts, History and Depth

[8/10 · 8 December 2010]

This is NOT Hollywood type Kick-Ass. This is NOT an Arty House of Daggeers.

This is a historical drama with some neat kung-fu thrown in. Beautiful to look at. From the elegance of the costumes to the dirty streets in the ghetto.

Bodyguards and Assassins has charm, tragedy, drama, loyalty, respect, ignorance and more going for it. Slightly long but thoroughly enjoyable.

I was unaware of this part of Chinas history (boy do the English come off bad yet again) and I'm glad I watched it.

Takers (2010)

Save Your money 'n' wait for the Blu-ray

[2/10 · 8 December 2010]

There's enough reviews here for you to get the plot so I wont bother with it, I'll just tell you what Takers is and isn't. Takers is a Popcorn, guys movie. For me it's The Losers with GQ suits or The A-Team without the budget. But it isn't better than either of those films. It's basically a vehicle movie for..

Chris Brown (best chase scene in a B movie contender!) Idris Elba (who should change his name to Ed Wood his acting is so stiff) T.I. (which is slang for Totally Inept) Paul Walker (the poor man's Keanau Reeves) and Zoe Saldana (who is still dinning off her role in Pirates of the Caribbean) or not she looks that thin.

Gets an extra star just for the GQ Suits! Like my title says .. wait for the BLu-ray Folks.

The Last Airbender (2010)

The last M. Shyamalan movie i'll watch... EVER!

[1/10 · 1 October 2010]

The plot intelligible, the acting wooden, the fight choreography lame, the effects passable (the ice kingdom was well done.) but that was it.

I had high hopes for this movie and waited ages to see it after being hooked by the films trailer (which by the way has nothing to do with this movie) half the sequences from the trailer I saw weren't in this movie.

The final dagger in the heart is the film ended without a conclusion because it's a two parter! WhhhHHyyyYeeeee! Do Paramount and Shyamalan really think they'll get us to come back for more. I say to them don't hold your breath.... on seconds thoughts DO!

There are worse movies .... but only just. Avoid!

Salt (2010)

Salt ....even the Title is AWFUL

[1/10 · 1 October 2010]

Salt is a turn off from beginning to end. Anjelina is past it as an action heroine. Her credibility ended (if there was any doubt) with the movie 'Wanted'. The fight scenes in 'Salt' are WOEFUL and completely unbelievable even by Hollywood standards. The shots were TOO tight (as if trying to hide the fact the fact that choreography was RUBBISH)

The plot (imagine Bourne meets Wanted) is irrelevant because you never believe Ms Jolie's character is credible. You feel like what it is, an Actor near the end of their career getting a quick pay day and they don't care if you know it. She doesn't even look good any more so the eye candy or Worthers Originals factor in Ms Jolies case can't carry a turkey of a movie like this any more. If you love action movies like I do then avoid this turkey at all costs. It's not even worth a rental. Simply awful.

Superman/Batman: Apocalypse (2010 Video)

Move Along.. Nothing To See Here

[2/10 · 20 September 2010]

Superman/Batman - Apocalypse should have been titled 'Supergirl - The Story of Kara'. Why hide this fact. Calling it what it isn't is deliberately misleading & wrong!

Some reviews have given Superman/Batman - Apocalypse more than Five stars! KkklanG!! (sound of my jaw slamming the floor) How? Why?

Superman/Batman - Apocalypse IS NOT in the same league as .. Batman - Under the Red Hood, Superman/Batman - Public Enemies or even Wonder Woman. You can also include .. Hulk Vs Wolverine/Thor, Planet Hulk or Ultimate Avengers 1 & 2 to the list of way better movies. Hell even Invicible Ironman with it's dodgy computer animation is more enjoyable.

Here's My review it's a simple one.

If You're expecting Superman/Batman - Public Enemies 2 you will be hugely disappointed. No tension, dialogue is poor, animation is weak, and did I mention it's a movie about SUPERGIRL!

Warner Bros be warned. Keep releasing superhero animation that the FANS DON'T WONT & DIDN'T ASK FOR at your peril.

I'm a huge fan of this stuff but this movie is a big let down. Avoid!