Change Your Image
la_follette
Reviews
Adventures of Superman: The Monkey Mystery (1952)
Another Tommy Carr classic
Some big issues are explored in this Superman episode, among them nuclear war, espionage and the Red scare.
Tommy Carr, the auteur behind the early Supermans, directs this noirish episode involving an international syndicate of gangsters looking for the "Moleska formula" which is some sort of defense against atomic weapons. We're not sure if it's iodine pills or a Reagan-era Strategic Defense Initiative, the only thing we know is it's on a piece of microfiche around 10 inches long.
Jan Moleska, the scientist behind the formula, was picked up by the secret police in communist Czechoslovakia. We see him being whipped before he's presumably dumped into a shallow grave.
As with many of the early Supermans, the violence is right in your face. Violence against women included. Lois gets pistol-whipped and knocked out. Maria Moleska receives a fractured skull from probably the same thing, although we don't actually see the blow being delivered.
One of the hoods pulls a gun on a helpless organ grinder monkey, then his accomplice does the same thing and actually pulls the trigger.
Violence against women and domesticated pets--welcome to the early Supermans!
I'm still not sure why an international smuggling ring was in business with an organ grinder, but if it got a critical note stupidly passed to Lois, then we just have to roll with it.
All in all, another example of what the Superman series should have been, until it suddenly became goofy and non-threatening in 1954.
Cobra Kai (2018)
I tried with this show, but...
After binge watching the first 2 seasons, I have to admit, the premise is interesting, and the characters are well-drawn. But it's not believable. Some of the reasons:
- You have kids kicking the everloving crap out of other kids, and there's never any discussion of trips to the hospital, trips to the dentist, medical bills or angry parents.
- You have adults kicking the everloving crap out of other adults, and there are never arrests or prosecutions. Everyone just seems to go their own ways and accept their beatings. Just like in real life!
- Everyone is always awkwardly running into everyone. In hardware stores, restaurants, you name it--if there's a cringey random encounter to be had, this show will find it. This is Los Angeles, population 10 million. But it seems more like Mayberry.
- Principal protagonist/antagonist Lawrence grew up in the 80s yet has no clue about the Internet, has never heard of Facebook and indeed has never owned a computer. You might get away with this idea with a Boomer, but a Gen Xer?
As with Breaking Bad, my viewing strategy is to fast-forward through the chick drama parts. LaRusso's wife is particularly irritating and reminds me of Skyler White--all complaining and controlling with zero redeeming features. The scenes with Lawrence are really the show's only saving grace, if for no other reason than to see if he can master these "nerd machines." He's a natural troll, let's see him strut his stuff on a muscle car forum.
Summer in the City (1970)
Blitzkrieg on Broadway
This documentary from 1968 looks at the Upper West Side of Manhattan from the perspective of a German writer who lived on W. 96th St for two years.
Uwe Johnson wrote the script and two directors handled the video, and the resulting documentary appeared on German TV at the time, but was hidden from the American public.
Too bad, because we might have appreciated seeing how the Germans viewed us. Not very well is the answer!
Johnson's script is filled with lectures on the poor, and how they deserve better treatment. The naivete is astounding. His "hero" is named Jeanette and she's a professional protestor/agitator who goes downtown on the 2 train to picket City Hall, gets arrested and then is immediately bailed out. As she's led into the police van she's smiling and talking smack like she's been through this a thousand times before.
Jeanette wants better housing for her and her family, at taxpayer expense. I guess we're not supposed to ask why this deeply angry and financially unstable person went ahead and had 7 children. She promises they'll be just as angry as she is. Great! What a win.
We also get to see a heroin junkie shoot up and puke into a bucket, which I'm sure delighted a teenaged Angela Merkel.
It's hard not to see "Summer in the City" as some sort of revenge drive-by for Hogan's Heroes, Siegfried on Get Smart and The Producers. Germany certainly was a butt of jokes in 1960s American media. Perhaps this explains the motivation.
All in all, the film is pretty dismal and quite preachy, though if you're into old footage of long-disappeared luncheonettes I guess it's good fun.
It's also useful as an antidote to the popular opinion that the 60s and 70s were "the good old days" on the UWS, a time when (supposedly) you knew your neighbor, sat on the stoop and talked politics as Frank Messer crackled away on the transistor radio. Actually, the people in the documentary don't seem happy with the UWS at all.
The Twilight Zone: The Mirror (1961)
Should've been a comedy
It's impossible to view this episode and not think of films like Bananas and the In-Laws, the latter featuring Peter Falk who played a CIA spook who came up with the Bay of Pigs plan. Here Falk plays the dour, paranoid "Ramos Clemente," who of course is really Castro. This could have very easily been a comedy. They had comedy genius Falk, they had him in a ridiculous green fatigues outfit. No one saw the potential--too soon after Castro's rise I guess. Instead we get a lecture.
The Towering Inferno (1974)
That's not a cigarette
This incredibly long and tense Irwin Allen disaster epic begins with architect Doug Roberts (Paul Newman) returning from some sort of extended business trip (although he seems awfully tan). Weirdly, he doesn't go to his house, but to his business office on the 79th floor of the ill-fated Glass Tower, where his girlfriend is in a reclining chair waiting for him.
His office, we learn, has a door leading to a bedroom where he and Susan (Faye Dunaway) retire for some midday recreation between the sheets while 40 feet away an army of junior architects pore over blueprints and building codes. If this strikes you as weird, you're not the only one.
While this slothful horndog is having daytime sex with Susan in his high-rise love den, security guy Harry (OJ Simpson) is hard at work in the command center staring at computer monitors and figuring out that there's a fire in the utility room. Newman's the reprobate while OJ is the conscientious paragon. Hey Twitter world, welcome to crazytown.
Roberts was the architect for this tower, which appears to have been built with twigs, bubble gum, silly string and kerosene-soaked rags. To code of course.
But this isn't any old building, it's a sick building, structurally and ethically, filled with bad wiring and moral rot. A den of iniquity that needs a good cleansing. And some conduit.
Leading the moral rot is PR flack Dan Bigelow (Robert Wagner), who carries on an affair with his secretary. He gets his as one might expect. There's also electrician Roger Simmons (Richard Chamberlain) who drinks like a fish and cut corners on the wiring to save money. He also hits on Susan, clumsily and unsuccessfully. He meets a terrible fate as well.
Among some of the highlights:
The scene where the human inferno comes staggering out of the elevator and crumples to the ground is shocking and one of the defining moments of 1970s cinema.
50-year-old Newman is particularly spry and fit in this film and even appears to do some of his own stunts including a legit pull up in the demolished stairwell. Bravo!
Oddly, throughout the rescue scenes, the fire department uses old fashioned fiber rope--the kind Captain Bligh might have used to keelhaul miscreants on the HMS Bounty. Was polyester only used for pants in 1974? Steel cable anyone?
Ironically, OJ really becomes the moral center of the film. He orders Roberts to call an ambulance when his friend gets burned to a crisp. He insultingly tells Roberts to "get on the ball." Isn't Harry working security? Shouldn't he make that call? Later on, Harry saves a cat, then presents it tenderly to Harlee (Fred Astaire), who just lost the love of his life. Harry is a great, great man and would make a fine husband.
As in all Allen disaster movies, the lesson is, if you're young, you will survive. If you're brave, you MAY survive. If you're unethical, better update that will.
Malibu Express (1985)
"Yoo-hoo, we're only kidding!"
Hundreds of years from now, when anthropologists sift through cultural artifacts to figure out what Los Angeles was like in 1985, they will stumble upon this movie and stop digging for any more evidence. It's a perfect document of stupid.
There are so many So Cal-centric themes and cultural conceits embedded in this film that it would be impossible to list them all, but let's just mention a few:
- An obsession with cars, and the childish idea that your ride says something about your value as a person. (Cody, the hero, drives a DeLorean and a Firenza, both cherry red)
- A need to mock hillbillies, as seen in the "comic relief" appearances of the Buffingtons. If LA has one calling card, it's that it thinks itself vastly superior to rednecks. Which isn't much of a statement at all.
- The obligatory New York "heavy" with a thick Brooklyn accent and a filthy mouth. Art Metrano, come on down!
You look at the career arcs of the people involved in this Andy Sidaris project and you see an I-405 pile-up of shattered dreams, a real-life "Boogie Nights."
On the plus side, breasts. Lots of breasts.
Mr. Majestyk (1974)
Helluva waste of good melons
In this Bronson vehicle, our hero plays melon farmer Vince Majestyk who's bullied by a local gang of thugs who want him to use their melon pickers. There's a racial angle -- Vince likes to use Mexicans but the locals want him to use their (white) friends, who Vince dismisses as "winos."
Then the big-time mob gets involved and Vince's problems escalate.
After assaulting one of the thugs, Vince finds himself in the local jail where he encounters notorious mobster Frank Renda, played by a puffy Al Lettieri, who looks like he went on the all-cannoli diet after his famous role as Virgil Sollozzo in Godfather 1. Frank and Vince escape from jail and end up on the lam together. At this point I was thinking they might turn this into a Midnight Run buddy movie and maybe that's where they should have taken it.
Instead, Vince breaks a deal he had with Frank and wants to turn him into the police. The two of them struggle over a gun. Now Frank wants to kill Vince, compounding whatever problems he originally had with melon picking.
Frank could have let it all just slide and returned to his normal business of criminal racketeering -- after all he was now free. But for him it was personal. Vince beat him up and double-crossed him. But to hear the cops tell it, Frank wanted to kill him because Vince was present when an eyewitness to one of Renda's killings was murdered during the big prison escape. That makes absolutely no sense but then the cops are portrayed as incompetent boobs throughout.
The scenery is amazing, especially at the end. A car chase takes place in the Colorado backcountry amidst huge rock outcroppings and dynamited rock tunnels. It all looks like an ad for Ford trucks (Ford did use some of the footage to push their trucks).
Bronson ends up victorious as we suspected he might. They were dealing with no ordinary melon farmer after all -- Vince was a Vietnam Vet war hero, perhaps the oldest in history (Bronson was 53 in this movie). Bronson was a WW2 veteran, what was wrong with using that war?
N.Y.P.D.: Cry Brute (1968)
Early Roy Scheider Needed a Bigger Boat
Let's face it, there's only one reason to watch this episode and that's the presence of a very young Roy Scheider. In this episode he plays an ambulance chasing lawyer representing a man falsely claiming police brutality. I say "falsely" even though the opening scene shows he did fall with the cop right next to him.
Oddly, in the first scene where the plaintiffs consult an attorney, that attorney is NOT Scheider. Then all of a sudden he seems to appear out of nowhere.
It's a good thing he did because Scheider pretty much steals the show with some of the best lines and his trademark smooth delivery. He's so good that he's really out of place on "NYPD," almost like Mike Trout playing baseball in a local pickup league. Unfortunately, his character's skill as an attorney was lacking, as he stupidly allowed his clients to destroy their own case by running their mouths to Det. Corso.
N.Y.P.D.: Joshua Fit the Battle of Fulton Street (1967)
Heavy Sack Beatings Up 900 Percent
In this episode, our NYPD regulars are faced with a new threat: vigilantes. A group called the "Joshuas" are out on the street facing down muggers. The Guardian Angels they're not. The Joshuas have no cute and snappy uniforms, no red berets. What they do have on their side is God. They're a multi-denominational group organized by a reverend and a rabbi!
Operating out of an office with crime maps, telephones and "Joshuas" placards everywhere, one wonders if any of these guys have jobs. They get reports constantly during the day and immediately send out a posse to investigate and maybe break some heads.
Lt. Haines visits one day and doesn't like what he sees. He's very much opposed to a group of vigilantes. Public safety is the police's job, he says, not conceding for a minute that maybe they're not doing such a good job. He tells Myron, the lead hothead, that they should stop this madness and join the auxiliary police force -- a lot of people are doing it and "it's legal."
Myron is not swayed at all by Haines' lecture. He goes out to chase a perp with
his licensed handgun but it all goes pear-shaped. Turns out he's chasing an innocent man. He fires several shots at him from a rooftop before Haines shows up and persuades him to stop behaving like a lunatic. He gets charged with felony assault.
Like all of the NYPD episodes, this one has the trademark blaring horns, conga drums, weird close-ups and intermittent "thought bubble" voiceovers from the cops.
Hustle (1975)
A lieutenant's French girlfriend
The promo poster says it all -- "they're hot." And it is true. Burt and Catherine Deneuve both look great, probably at their peak physical powers. Unfortunately, it isn't quite enough to carry the film.
Burt plays Phil Gaines, a cynical cop investigating the suicide of a young woman found washed up on a beach. There's more to the suicide than Gaines originally thought, leading him into a seamy world of drugs, lawyers and prostitutes.
Deneuve plays Nicole, a hooker with a heart of gold. She loves Gaines even though he beats her up. The domestic violence scene is disturbing. It goes on and on with multiple hits to the face, then Phil pins her down and practically swallows her face with a somewhat rapey kiss. All is forgiven, apparently. She melts in his arms.
Not really believable, unless you subscribe to the theory that it's Burt Reynolds doing these things, and like Keith Hernandez, Burt can get away with a lot. He really is hot, remember?
Throughout the film, Phil seems to want out of America. He dreams of a trip to Rome and describes America as Guatemala with color television. He says the average man can't get justice in America, 'cause they got no "juice." Of course, the real-life "Juice" got plenty of justice 2 decades later. Maybe by "juice," Burt really meant, "Barry Scheck."
The ending may be the highlight of the movie. I really didn't see it coming. I won't spoil it, but will say Burt's performance in the last 3 minutes of the movie represents some of his best work. The rest of the flick is pretty average.
The Parallax View (1974)
Now it's on to Seattle and let's win there
Parallax View advances the notion that all the Oswalds and Sirhan Sirhans of the world aren't lone actors but are controlled by men in business suits. It's an intriguing concept given the widespread mockery of the Warren Commission.
The first killing of Senator Carroll is a direct nod to Sirhan, as the murder is committed by a man dressed as a waiter (Sirhan worked in the kitchen). He then conveniently falls off the Space Needle, leaving him unable to tell his story.
In the case of Sirhan, we know precisely why he killed Kennedy. He was upset with Kennedy's support for Israel in the Six Day War. Rather hard to pin that one on businessmen plotting in a glass tower, unless you think they support Palestinian self-determination -- a ludicrous concept.
Then Parallax tries to kill Gillingham. A little later they succeed in killing Hammond, his opponent. Are they in the business of killing everyone? Why would they do that? Wouldn't it be less risky to just give money to politicians to get what you want?
Just imagine for a second that Carroll's killer was captured and talked. Wouldn't that spell the end of the Parallax Corporation?
There are also problems with the sound. A lot of Frady's dialogue can't even be heard properly. My hunch is this is the result of Beatty's tendency to keep his mouth shut when he talks because he's self-conscious about his overbite.
Whatever the reason, I had to go back and listen twice to a lot of his lines.
I also can't get past the fact that the airplane bomb scene was done on the cheap. If you're going to show a bomb going off on a plane, really show it. Don't shake the camera to depict the vibration from a bomb blast. Spend the money, get an old plane shell and blow it up.
In all, an interesting premise for a film but utterly ludicrous in the execution.
NB: This movie may have become unintentionally relevant given the activities of a certain well-known political family whose enemies seem to mysteriously die in car accidents, shootings and other calamities. I did think of this family throughout the movie. I doubt famous Democrat Warren Beatty saw this plot twist coming.
Adventures of Superman: The Evil Three (1953)
Dark and oddly compelling
This is yet another rather dark episode that typifies the early Supermans. Perry and Jim encounter 2 homicidal maniacs straight out of a Tarantino flick. At one point, Perry seems to have been brutally slashed with a sword but apparently it was just a bump on the head. Some of the highlights:
- The brawl between the 2 hoteliers is quite good and very realistic. Lots of desperate grappling and face-grabbing. Impressive.
- Perry's car gets pushed off a cliff and the special effects are excellent. The car actually explodes. Did they have the budget to really do that?
- Perry has a car phone. This was 1953! That may be the most impressive thing of all. Unfortunately the phone got destroyed in the explosion.
I did wonder why Perry and Olsen were hanging out together socially. Don't they have their own friends? Perry can barely stand Olsen in the office; the idea of the 2 of them going on a fishing trip together is absurd. But overall another fine Superman entry.
The Florida Project (2017)
Orlando Magic
This is a rare Hollywood movie that explores the lives of those on skid row. But it's rarer still in that it finds joy and humor in their circumstances. Most everyone knows the general plot so I'll skip it but the scene is a welfare motel in Orlando managed by the highly patient and compassionate Bobby, played by Willem Dafoe.
Bobby keeps the motel functioning despite the dysfunction of its residents. There's drug dealing, late payments, fights and various violations of motel policy. Somehow, in between putting out daily fires, he has time to touch up the exterior with some fresh paint.
The resident who gives Bobby more trouble than most is Halley, a tattooed tramp who has little going for her aside from an adorable kid named Moonee. And so we follow Moonee around during her summer as she spies on people, scams free ice cream and helps her mom sell perfume illegally at other (nicer) motels. Halley in short uses Moonee to make money.
This is really Moonee's film, and a fascinating look at how kids even at the bottom find ways to create fun and overcome their grinding poverty. The movie could have made the easy mistake of portraying Halley as a victim but it doesn't fall for it. Halley is narcissistic, violent, dishonest and vulgar -- a poster child for tubal ligation. She smokes dope instead of watching over Moonee and films a violent fight outside the motel with her phone, screaming out "Worrrld Starrrr." Moonee is right there, watching it all.
We don't really care about Halley, but Moonee is another story. Her salvation becomes the center of the film. Some might call this exploitative of children, but the sad fact is that there are kids out there who experience this, and have "moms" like Halley. And the final scene where Moonee cries uncontrollably is remarkable.
To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)
Brutal and unforgettable
Although now 32 years old, this film still packs a wallop. The violence is raw, and very brutal -- even by today's standards. Everyone seems to be getting shot in the face, or in the testicles, and director Friedkin always makes sure to show the gore in full, red detail. The story concerns a corrupt Secret Service agent named Chance out to avenge his partner's killing. He runs into a vicious artist-counterfeiter named Masters who seems to know all of Chance's moves before anyone else. Someone is feeding Masters information, and the film suggests it could be a sleazy lawyer, appropriately named Grimes, or the sleazy woman who Chance is sleeping with. We really don't know though.
Mirroring the violence is an equally ugly depiction of Los Angeles. Forget about palm trees, beaches and glamorous people. Friedkin's Los Angeles consists of smog, railroad yards, electrical towers, claustrophobic industrial streets and seedy bars. There's literally nothing redeeming about the place.
There are some apparent plot holes. Why don't they just arrest Masters? They know where he is, as he frequents a local health club ("I'm an easy man to find" he boasts). Masters had rented out an industrial warehouse where Chance's partner was killed. Masters drove his sports car and walked all over that property. Was he so careful that he scrubbed every piece of evidence? I would imagine something was left behind -- a tire track, a footprint, something. Either from Masters or his burly co- conspirator. Stupidly, when the Secret Service shows up at the warehouse, they put their fingerprints on every door and dumpster handle in sight.
Instead of arresting him, they try a sting operation. It doesn't go well.
The dialogue is cynical, dark and very true to life. Certain lines stick with you. "Makin it like very other swinging dick in here." "Enjoy your work Mr. Jessup?" "He doesn't have it. What a guy." "Your taste is in your ass."
Nine out of 10.
Requiem for a Dream (2000)
Pretentious, overrated; couldn't care less about the characters
This is a bleak film about a group of drug addicts in Brooklyn, NY. Nearly everyone is on drugs. They snort it, shoot it, smoke it and swallow it. When they're not taking drugs, they're boinking each other, watching moronic infomercials, getting shot or making grandiose plans for a future that will never exist.
I'm not clear why I'm supposed to care about any of these people. They're boring, narcissistic and self-destructive. They don't share any interesting ideas about art, literature or politics. No one works, except, you guessed it, in the drug trade. I don't care about them, and quite frankly, wish they would all overdose so the movie would end.
The direction is distracting and also quite pretentious. Whenever someone downs drugs, the film jumps to a rapid-fire montage of drugs disappearing, capillaries carrying drugs to the brain and dilating pupils. It's interesting the first time, but by the 37th time, you just wish the director would stop. But he doesn't. He wants you to understand that drugs are bad. They are, but so is this movie.