aegiswiz-accede Reviews

Criminal Minds: Blood Hungry (2005) Season 1, Episode 11

What an eye-sore

[6/10 · 31 March 2019]

Last few weeks I'm been on something of a Criminal Minds "re-run" watching binge. I imagine about every episode gives me the creeps in an entertaining kind of way. I've probably watched several seasons in the last few weeks, likely seen dozens of the same episode in the process. Criminal Minds is just an addictive kind of show and I think that says something about the writers and actors.

In the years and years I've been on IMDB I've only been compelled to write a review a hand full of times. What compelled me to search out the review link today was Charles Haid. The director.

I was actually angry at the filming of this episode. Watching it and the blur outs and jerking around was like listening to fingernails on a chalk board. This method of filming is criminal. Can't tell you what it is called or even describe it appropriately, but the filming, flashing, jerking, snap to close up, snap back out, ad nausea had me cross eyed and stiff necked within 20 minutes, so I just want give Charles Haid the "You're number one" middle finger salute.

Nothing really bad about the episode, the writers, actors, or producers but this was one ugly show that was painful to watch. I blame Charles Haid. Sorry Charlie.

Stranger Things (2016–2025)

One TV show you'll want to see

[9/10 · 11 November 2017]

I was inspired to write this review due to some nagging possible inconsistency of detail.

Regarding the spoiler warning. I've gone to great lengths to be too vague to spoil anything for new viewers. Anyone who has watched both seasons may recognize spoiler type info or it will seem familiar, if not obvious. To those who have not watched they should not understand any "spoiling" information.

This review is regarding both season one and season two. I re-watched season one before watching season two, shortly after it was released.

I'm troubled I had forgotten so much of what happened in season one. I felt at times I was seeing things I had never watched before. So, if you grew up around the 80s when this takes place, or your prone to a Swiss Cheese memory, you might want to re-watch season one as I did. To me it was well worth it.

Since season one seemed to "conclude" pretty well, I wasn't not confident about what direction the second season may take. I believe season two surpassed season one in every way.

My favorite characters were El, and Hopper. The primary characters are obviously the club of Nerd kids which gets an addition in season two. I was always anticipating the next scene about either El, or Hopper.

In episode 203 forward, Dustin's thread with his new discovery was disturbing to me in the way one may watch a horror show when the screaming teens decide to go back into the monster's lair with only a lame reason instead of escaping.

For spoiler's sake Dustin's thread is nothing like said screamer horror movie plot. The relation is in how it made me feel while watching it. Call it anticipated but postponed dread.

I was also taken by surprise with episode 207, The Lost Sister. Nothing wrong with this episode. It perfectly fills plenty of plot points in the season, including answering some likely forgotten questions raised early in episode 201. To me, it seemed to interrupt the flow of the story line suddenly, unexpectedly, and abruptly.

El's entire thread from late episode 206 until near the end of episode 208 seemed unrelated to much of anything. That information may be extremely important in future episodes and it did fill a few holes in season two including a dramatic piece of the climax of the season, so it was not insignificant. It just seemed I was driving down one street in episode 205 and in episode 206 suddenly came out of a blackout on a different street, going a different direction.

This motivating inconsistency was nothing blatant but I've written fiction for decades and notice some things others may not notice.

FAIR WARNING: To avoid IMDb SPOILER worries, I would claim this may be a spoiler but it is such a small thing overall that I doubt it could spoil anything. It may give someone who has watched the series an urge to re-think this detail. It regards water and antagonists who seem averse to water.

My point is... at least one co-protagonists is aware of this aversion and it seemed to me, if I was aware of this detail it would have effected my character's behavior, particularly in episode 208 or 209 in regards to "Bob" (Sean Austin, a favorite actor to me.) and his brave activities in one scene. In retrospect it kept occurring to me he likely had the means to make the ever present "escape from danger" a LESS DRAMATIC affair. Not exactly a writer's goal for any scene I know well.

Once the water aversion occurred to me, post season, and thinking back, it seemed this aversion to water was mentioned and then the writers forgot about it until it was needed much later, but then never used it when it could have been helpful to the co-protagonists. I may be barking up an upside-down tree as I believe the only person who was obviously conscious of this antagonist "weakness" was ever Bob.

Bob was a rather minor character and was "out of the loop" nearly always. When he was consulted and discovered this possible weapon against the antagonist it was during an intense, urgent, and time sensitive search for answers to save an important character. Those who could have employed Bob's new knowledge more effectively could have easily "missed it" or it just never impressed them as important. But it nagged at me.

So there it is. Just seems weird to me this knowledge about "water" would have been extremely valuable from the time it was discovered until the conclusion of the season. I only imagine few times or places it would have been helpful, but nothing using the known weapon vs. the antagonist was ever apparently considered.

Still, 9 stars for both seasons without a doubt. Writers and producers were exceptionally clever on multiple levels and I never felt any actor was "acting".

One more "water" thought... In season one the antagonist has an event with Barbara Holland (actress Shannon Purser) in, and over a swimming pool when Barb is bleeding after cutting her hand attempting a party drinking stunt. If season one antagonist is related to season two's antagonist, and that seems likely, this seems another inconsistency with my nagging water aversion theory.

Inhumans: Those Who Would Destroy Us (2017) Season 1, Episode 2

I can't believe it.

[2/10 · 1 October 2017]

99 of 100 times if a Network cancels a show that is not a sit-com, I believe they are idiots. Worse, they cancel right in the middle of a masterful cliffhanger making it forever a horrible decision.

I want to love Marvel's creations. I love everything done on Netflix and CW by Marvel. Maybe not jumping for joy with Iron Fist but love Jessica Jones, Daredevil, Defenders, et al.

So how did ABC manage to mangle a Marvel production so terribly that I actually want them to cancel it? ABC... it isn't just ABC, it is the big networks that seem to have a vacuum at the decision making level of management. CW, Netflix and other micro outlets seem to know what is going on.

Anyway, I had to review because this as not worth watching and because it is on a major network, which actually has a few new shows they will cancel that are great shows. Good Doctor, for one.

I suppose if my logic follows true, this show will be around for a decade. I will watch Episode 3 to give it an honest look, but am rather certain I won't bother there-after.

Self/less (2015)

Tried and true on two fronts

[7/10 · 1 January 2016]

This idea, contrary to some opinions is an old one. This one is exactly John Scalzi's, "Old Man's War"… series idea but Ol' John Perry had no idea what he was in for. In this outing of the idea Damien Hale did know… at least as much as the crippled Jake Sully in Avatar knew. Figure the dates..., and Avatar was probably "influenced" by Old Man's War. But it is a great idea, and folks can do a lot with it. This one is a tried and true "character quest plot" as well, which explaining creeps into the spoiler category if you don't already know what it is. If you do, you know those are usually great stories.

To me it was predictable. Not the movies fault that… I've read a lot. The plot has a couple ways to go. The way this one went is probably the most popular and well liked. I was a little surprised it wasn't "more". I think I just was not feeling the crash, bang, boom going on. I would have liked a little more getting in touch with the "past training". I think that would have sold me on the crash, bang, boom more convincingly.

Don't misunderstand, it is a good movie. Ben Kingsley can do no wrong by me. Ryan Reynolds is working on getting there himself, and I have a spot in my heart for Natalie Martinez from the Under the Dome days. Sprinkle in some Victor Garber and you have a set of actors almost always worth watching. I enjoyed a couple of surprising plot point twists that I didn't see coming. Movie might be worth watching for those alone. It is great when a story surprises and that isn't an easy thing to sell to well conditioned entertainment consumers.

To me it is 7 stars reaching for 8 and almost making it. First review I looked at before watching the movie had me feeling like I was out in the desert looking into the night sky there were so many stars. It's worth watching. Then you decide.

Sense8: Smart Money's on the Skinny Bitch (2015) Season 1, Episode 3

Smart Money is on the Skinny...

[7/10 · 8 October 2015]

I reviewed the first episode and thought I was generous offering a 6. I was actually. The good news is that not all things start out lovable. Some things you grow to love.

In that review I said I was only committing to 3 episodes. Now I'm in, period. The second episode had me binging on the 3rd. The only reason I didn't watch a 4th is it was well past "bed time".

If you've read the blurbs and promo info on this series, you know that the episodes are named after a quote in that episode. It was the scene with the "Skinny Bitch" that sealed the deal with me.

Why 7 and not 8-9-10? Frankly it is only that it is still early in the series and hasn't yet really bloomed. I fully expect this series to level out in the 9.x range.

Again, it is never a mistake to trust a project where J. Michael Straczynski in involved. I've studied writing for decades. Some, like Chris Carter (X-files) or Geroge R.R. Martin (Song of Ice & Fire --> Game of Thrones) seem to go brain dead or simply stop writing upon significant financial success. Others, like JMS and Dean Koontz never stop and never compromise on the high standards they set for themselves.

Don't misunderstand (Carter/Martin) a TV series can be successful without it's founders or creators (Star Trek series, etc.) but when you get a real talented and experienced pro who will deliver even when his budget has been mangled, (JMS) it's worth a watch.

Sense8 (2015–2018)

Review Season 1 Complete or A lazy cup of thin tea turns Red Bull

[8/10 · 7 October 2015]

This crummy 2 star show asserted itself and I woke up watching at least an 8 star show

At the end of the first episode, "Limbic Resonance", I wrote in an IMDb Review¹ that I would only go forward due to my trust of J. Michael Straczynski involvement in the project. I gave it 6 based entirely on trust. By itself as a stand alone, it would not reach a 1 rating IMO, but the producers whom I knew were trying to get air under the wings of this complicated project.

At the end of the third episode, "Smart Money's on the Skinny Bitch" I was in². Period. Don't recall the exact reason just now but was decidedly looking forward to a binge on the remainder of this show's episodes.

I don't think it a spoiler to give an overview of what the show is about. There are 8 people in the world that become inter-connected in a quasi psychic way. There's no real effort to explain it. I suspect they haven't yet decided what all the rules and consequences of this "interconnecting magic" is going to be. But I like that. Seems to me to be a part of the mystery woven into the show.

The 'connections' between these people become plot points and develop character. And sometimes they pull extra overtime duty as "deus ex machina³" in the impossible to escape situations the individuals may encounter in their journeys in life.

=====SPOILER START=====

For example one character may not know how to drive, but must drive to escape some difficulty, another person in the connected group, likely in reality in a different country, does have driving skills, and the inept in trouble suddenly becomes the adept with the remote skill set of their interconnected friend. It is clearly deus ex machina in such clear and clever ways, and under JMS's expert care these unbelievable personality Integrations is as brilliant as the show integration of the Enterprise NCC 1701 in Star Trek.

=====SPOILER END=====

So it isn't all a conglomeration of confusion and nonsense as one may guess at any casual glance. Like real life, with this one you'll have to give something (your time and real attention) to get the hefty rewards that this gem is offering. I willingly surrendered some of my valuable time for this show and this show repaid me in equal or greater entertainment value and provoked a few thoughts that I'm going to claim are mine when I spring them on someone else.

¹ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2431438/reviews-365 \\ ² http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3963482/reviews-2 \\ ³ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deus_ex_machina \\

The Flash (2014–2023)

First truly bad episode of Flash

[9/10 · 30 January 2015]

In this episode, the speed of Flash would have easily solved any problem presented by the villains. Instead the writers went with a totally illogical story line, creating a 'threat' that could not exist if Flash is as fast as portrayed in previous episodes. The acting was fine and there was no default in directing, CGI, production or editing. This one is truly on the writers.

Science Fiction can only exist to the point that one can suspend disbelief enough that everything fits and is true to the story and characters. It may be total nonsense but like the transporter on Star Trek, a viewer is able to suspend disbelief enough to just enjoy the show. This one violated that rule. I was not able to suspend disbelief based on the rules already established in earlier episodes.

The Giver (2014)

Pleasant adaptation of the book...

[8/10 · 19 December 2014]

So, what is it about. This is a dystopian class of science fiction novel that engineers society to avoid the nightmares of the horrors of the past (our present and near future). Their plan, which appears to work wonderfully, is to make society generic, so to speak, without all the plagues upon us now such as emotions, deeply held religious beliefs, feeling of honor to defend beliefs, and so on.

No soylent green scenes or implications but the undertones appear later in the story. Not so much with food, but Eugenics appears to be a major influence on this new Utopian, dystopian society.

You would need to check Goodreads dot com for my review of the book. As I recall, I wasn't terribly impressed. Perhaps I was, it is a wonder of a story. Literary and video. I never allow my expectations wander far with a movie adapted from a book. This one, however is really stunning to me.

Yes, 2-300 pages of book (or more) were adopted to a ~120 page film script. You're not going to do the book on film without some groaning from the book fans.

*spoiler alert* The "training" before Jonas makes a decision is much longer and involved in the book. The activity after deciding towards Jona's new knowledge is also rather extended in the book. Fortunately for fans of either or both, the film adaptation scraps much to the cutting room floor that doesn't effect the story much at all. Great job! (I'm almost never a fan of book adaptations). */spoiler alert*

Ultimately, it isn't really a 5 star outing, but that is because I've read the book. The story is unique and because I was intimately aware of the book, perhaps I filled in blanks in the movie an average viewer may be unable to construe for lack of reading. So, to me, we land at 5 stars when it could be 3-5 stars for a wandering viewer looking to watch something interesting.

Ascension (2014)

What the "French"?

[1/10 · 18 December 2014]

Here's the thing, the idea and the writing, to some degree are worthy of a watch. I tried to find out everything possible about this "mini-series" before committing to watch it. Everything I could find suggested this is a three part mini-series. I did see some actors were in six episodes. WTF? Everything imaginable, all the advertisement, said 3 part mini-series.

Then came the Syfy curse. Stupidity and more stupidity beyond imagination. I'm referring to the "commercial" vs "content" ratio. I didn't sit with a stop watch but I did try to fast forward through commercials that usually took 12 30 second jumps. Folks, that is 6 minutes. I suspect it was more. I didn't pay enough attention in this area as I was trying to be involved in the story narrative. But I suspect the "content" sections were actually shorter than the commercial sections.

So, you ask, what about the mini-series? Well, it is not a 3 part mini-series, absolutely. Out of good consciousness I won't tell you anything good or interesting about this mini-series despite the fact that there are strategic appeal points. (aka cliffhangers). I ask one simple thing...

If there is a cliffhanger at the conclusion of the mini-series, what in God's Holy name is going on? I had to express my extreme frustration because I wasted 6 hours of my precious life on this dishonest attempt at telling a story that if "not" done by Syfy may have been award winning.

To anyone considering watching this massive disappointment I have some suggestions, 1) Do not watch it on Syfy. Find a way to watch it with less than the 50-60% commercials. There may be legal ways to do it. It is not worth the risk breaking copyright laws to see it. Trust me, your ISP is spying on you if you attempt non commercial attempts to watch. 2) Be prepared for absolutely -*no conclusion*-. This is not a trilogy. I suspect when I found rare reference to 6 'episodes' I should have dumped the idea of trusting Syfy, who has a massive reputation of destroying every good idea they've ever been interested in, in recent history.

I would make an alternate choice idea to watch but none I know of has this particular plot, etc.. But I again warn you: you do not want to waste numerable hours of your life on a lie that you will not be satisfied with in this "3" part mini-series.

If there is a "part 2" 3 part mini-series. Don't fall for Syfy lies. Wait a couple years to see if there are "part 3, part 4, part 5 trilogies" May I suggest "Babylon 5" is an awesome science fiction series that is done. It started as a 5 year series, and despite several funding problems, lasted 5 years.

Grimm: Dyin' on a Prayer (2014) Season 4, Episode 4

What a muddy mess...

[10/10 · 15 November 2014]

Golems are involved. Bad news for Grimm hero types, they aren't Wesson. As usual there are multiple plot developments, some new, some old, some unresolved, but the important part, thirsty as you may be, they pull the glass from your hand at the very last moment, stay tuned for next episode.

I know all this is vague, so to speak, but I've touched bases on the major points I wanted to express which should result in a very top rating.

IMDb will not allow me to publish the rest for "prohibited words", whatever those are. Enjoy the show and write episode reviews to keep alerting network wonderkinder to keep the series coming.

Constantine: A Feast of Friends (2014) Season 1, Episode 4

Which sin is hungry to a sin?

[10/10 · 15 November 2014]

Constantine: Lets call it Dr. House on psychedelics instead of narcotics. Instead of curing physical ailments Mr. Constantine deals with demonic type afflictions. This is a hit as big as House if the writers stay solid and the network can endure a dip of ratings here and there, which is unlikely.

Truthfully, however, the network is NBC, who in recent years have been head and shoulders above the other networks in discovering hits. Well, less CW.

My top rating isn't the true rating which might be a degree or two lower but the wonks who decide to cancel don't get it 99% of the time, so I've given up being honest with them. This is good. If you ever want to see it again give it a top rating and sound convincing.

In this episode of Constantine, a hunger demon wreaks havoc and is not so easily tamed. As always the tension is at least as fun as a county fair thrill ride..., not up to theme park ride yet but if the writers grow, you may have a theme park hit every week. Imagine that.

Of course, this is going to be unwelcomed by the 'fear of demons' crowd. It varies where they come from, but if they can take the point of view that it is entertainment, even they might enjoy it.

Constantine: The Devil's Vinyl (2014) Season 1, Episode 3

A record demon

[10/10 · 15 November 2014]

Constantine: Lets call it Dr. House on psychedelics instead of narcotics. Instead of curing physical ailments Mr. Constantine deals with demonic type afflictions. This is a hit as big as House if the writers stay solid and the network can endure a dip of ratings here and there, which is unlikely.

Truthfully, however, the network is NBC, who in recent years have been head and shoulders above the other networks in discovering hits. Well, less CW.

Despite the spoiler warning, none are intended. Just not sure where the line is not to cross.

My top rating isn't the true rating which might be a degree or two lower but the wonks who decide to cancel don't get it 99% of the time, so I've given up being honest with them. This is good. If you ever want to see it again give it a top rating and sound convincing.

In this episode some good old demon soul contracts for success are the theme. The evil artifact is a record from the golden age of blues. There are a number of competitors who want to possess this artifact, maybe as bargaining chips with the evil one, but it sets up a multiple plot adventure that is sure to entertain.

Constantine: Non Est Asylum (2014) Season 1, Episode 1

Great Portents

[8/10 · 28 October 2014]

New series are always a nightmare to launch. What do you do, how do you hook viewers? Constantine does that by packing the first episode with a truck load of back-story and a crew of wheelbarrows hauling out portents, which is a very good start. I've already forgotten who airs this show, I'm sure my internet spies will shortly be sending me a warning which details my sins against that channel even though I watched it on their own website... but I think this one is a keeper. If it is ABC, of course it will be canceled. They hate success for the most part. If it is NBC, it stands a chance, if only because they can stack it between WWW wrestling episodes on the Syfy channel should ratings flounder. Give it a look. It may be the start of something pleasantly fun to watch. I certainly enjoyed it and had those dreadful feelings when occult demons are concerned.

Lucy (I) (2014)

Watch the trailer for the fun of it.

[7/10 · 23 October 2014]

Seeing the trailer; this is one movie I wanted to see. I have mixed feelings. It certainly didn't live up to my expectations, but alternately it wasn't a horrible movie.

If, like me, you wanted the movie to be as exciting and thrilling as the trailers... not so much. Some cools stuff as far as special effects but to me they seemed to go downhill after an initial intro to the Paris police.

I'm left with... Oh my, what it could have been! But it is what it is. Catch it on TNT or FX when it reaches that level of access or if one of your services offer it free. Not until then.

The Wolverine (2013)

Enjoyed this movie. Don't understand it's poor reviews.

[8/10 · 15 July 2014]

Really enjoyed this movie. It is what it is and anyone who thinks they want to watch it because they are a fan of Wolverine or other Marvel Comics characters are going to be sated.

What I don't get are the poorly rated reviews. This thing delivered everything I had hoped for in this movie. And more. I'm not a big Marvel comic book fan. I'm more of a DC fan myself, but I've grown to love the Marvel Comics movies and they always... or almost always, deliver what I'm hoping for. Excitement, and all manor of drama without getting into the intimate sex lives of the characters but still delivering some of the angst of these characters past.

Like I said, I don't get the poor reviews. If you aren't the kind of person who likes this genre, why do you watch it then review it? I know I shouldn't critique reviews, but really... I place a lot of my leverage toward my viewing decisions based on these reviews.

Possible spoiler... I'll offer real fans this... Wolverine is faced with challenges he's never faced... including his mortality. That alone intrigued me. But the complex character interaction pleased me. I only hesitated in the foundational attachment with one of the primary characters. I really didn't get the strong attachment. I did suspend disbelief enough to really enjoy the movie. I only wonder where it will go henceforth.

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014)

Not for the dramatically insecure.

[7/10 · 14 June 2014]

Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit =A Tom Clancy Character= I almost didn't watch this due to creepy crawlers whining about it. This movie delivers exactly what it intends to deliver. Tension, action, suspense for 105 minutes. For the diapered whiny Columbia University film critics, try Metamucil for that groaning issue. Seriously.

Folks that want this kind of movie are going to enjoy it. It isn't your latest cinematography with deep meaning and brilliant lighting, costume, and music for the Jane Austen crowd. This is grab-a-beer-with-the-guys, grunt and point appropriately while smiling and nodding your head kind of movie where you and your buddies walk off after the movie a little closer for sharing the experience and all that means in 'the guy world' that the hyper critical intellects will never understand.

This is NOT the best portrayal of Tom Clancy's character which has been done excellently in previous outings, but the idea of Chris Pine (Star Trek Captain) wasn't a horrible choice.

A word to the wise..., the attempt at romance in this movie that is trying to bring in the chick audience fails miserably... listen to your gal and go with what she suggests if that's what you're shooting for... this isn't a compromise movie. Let her win and see the romance movie. (They really aren't that bad) Then on Tuesday night, instead of poker, grunt along with your pals enjoying this one for the fun of it.

Hanna (2011)

Hanna, OK, but not up to the hype.

[7/10 · 30 May 2014]

Spoiler! Actually I'm not sure, but I don't want to be exiled for making that mistake. I might reveal too much, but there's really nothing terribly specific that I can see.

The image of Hanna, with bow and arrow, the front image for the movie, and the promise of the excitement like that of The Green Arrow (Arrow on CW), or Catniss of Hunger Games saga fame suggests that this is a good fit for the lack of great and dangerous young women on the screen lately. Could Saoirse Ronan be the next Angelina Jolie? I liked the premise, the whole "taught to be awesome warrior" thing, but I didn't get the premise for the rest. It's no that is doesn't make sense, I just don't understand why someone would take such a great idea and turn it into your average chase scene drawn out for better than an hour. Why? Why? There was so much to work with! Yeah, I like a good deal of the action but I really was a bit let down overall.

Don't misunderstand, a rating of 7 is a movie worth watching in my book, but where I would watch every episode of Arrow (on CW) and have read all the Hunger Games books, and watched the 2 movies (so far), I'll not be in this one for a re-run.

Along the way there are some interesting 'reveals' that were unexpected, but with hindsight there were a few hints to all the reveals along the way. It is in the reveals that beg for a sequel. I don't really know where to go from there, but there is absolutely a sequel and if I were writing it, it would be better than the original. I'd go for something along the Borne Identity range of ideas, toss in some awkward romance and it's a hit.

I did like the conclusion. If you watch the movie it will be anti-climatical, and when it comes you'll know exactly the dialogue and actions that are to come, but I liked it anyway.

Devil's Pass (2013)

What a nightmare... the movie I mean.

[1/10 · 17 May 2014]

I was on my "true" UFO stories night. It happened accidentally with Dark Skies on Showtime on when I turned on the TV. Then I found and watched The Fourth Kind. Both disturbing. Then I thought this would be down the same lane. I was mistaken. This is not worth anyone's time for any reason. It is done in the epic failure nonsense as Blair Witch Project.

You might sit in front of this nightmare... and I mean that in the sense of wasting time, and be mesmerized but really? The Dyatlov pass deaths in 1959 may have been something to be further examined but with the alien suggestion I thought I might be watching something with the same credibility as The Fourth Kind... witch BTW is rather disturbing because of the documentation. (I pray that isn't also a deception).

In conclusion, if you have an inkling's respect for your time, don't waste it on this nonsense. If you really want to explore unexplainable things, this one is pure fiction, which is sad because it taints any serious examination of the real events of 1959.

The Legend of Hercules (2014)

Film... not as legendary as the legendary character.

[6/10 · 30 April 2014]

At the point that Hercules (by some other birth name) is accused by his older brother of being a coward he sits unaffected. What? The older brother is wearing the lion that Hercules had just killed as his older brother degrades his brother, Hercules, by another name, who killed it.

Put that kind of WTF every few minutes and you have a legendary disappointment. Fortunately for fans of the idea of Hercules... in my youth also somehow connected to Samson of the Bible... it is action packed. Like action? Woo hoo! Want cinema... not so much. 2 points for special effects and you have to ask yourself... Do I like the idea of Hercules enough to endure this? If so, not so bad.

I have an old acquaintance who insists no movie under 100 minutes is worth watching. This one is 98 minutes. I wish I could dispute my old acquaintance... but if you're a fan of the real legend(s) of Hercules, what the hell. Every interpretation is worth enjoying.

Escape Plan (2013)

It's not Braveheart

[8/10 · 4 February 2014]

Escape Plan (2013)

I was juggling what to do this evening. I'm in the process of reading several books, and my DVR is full. I have most the 2013 "hits" and hit series ready to watch. I run across this "unknown" (to me) title and two things draw my attention. Sylvester Stallone & Arnold Schwarzenegger. That settled it for me.

I intended to "look at it" and decide to watch it or just get it and watch it later as I'm thick in my "currently reading" list. Before I know it, I'm 30 minutes into the movie. Yeah, this type movie does that to me. Call it the boom-bang factor or the 'action adventure' addiction. I don't care, I like this stuff.

Don't misunderstand, I like Mr. Darcy too. But that's a different kind of "like". Why isn't this movie above 6.9? That's what makes this movie a mystery. The movie does EXACTLY what it means to do and it does it well enough that I'm just not up to nit-picking some minor flaw or another. I liked the characters... and HEY, look at the list of actors in this movie. I saw it watching the movie, but after was looking at the list of actors and I was thinking "Holy cow, why didn't I know about this BIG TIME?" There just aren't many "unknown" artists in this movie.

***So here's to spoiling***. It probably won't get any worse than the studio blurb about the movie. Sylvester Stallone plays Ray Breslin who has a job of escaping from high security prisons. Yeah... who wouldn't want THAT job? Anyway, He's very good at it and gets a super "inescapable" job. 2 minutes into that "job" and he's giving out his "safety valve/release code" as he's already figured out, there is no escape. But the code doesn't work... set up anyone? So the plot thickens. He meets Arnold Schwarzenegger's character in prison, "Rottmayer". There's a little bit of plot and character development going on but as is usual in movies like this one, they do it with a flare, fights, and whatever it is that made us like Bruce Lee, and Chuck Norris. Kudo's to actors and directors... we rightfully hate the bad guys and love the good guys. Yeah, not so much, huh?

I have an ex-friend who swears that no movie under 100 minutes is worth watching. This one exceeds 100 minutes... So you're safe, what could go wrong? Finally, if your gal hates anything that doesn't have some clone of Mr. Darcy character and tears involved: Maybe not a good date-night movie.

Cloud Atlas (2012)

Probably no spoiler unless "connect the dots" spells it out to you.

[5/10 · 17 December 2013]

Cloud Atlas

I don't really think there's a spoiler but I didn't want to get busted if I accidentally understood any part of this movie and there-by said something "spoiling" about it.

If you were looking at reviews of this movie and you set the 'search' to "hated it" on IMDb you'd get a good dose of what I felt like most the time with the movie. I am, however, giving it 5 stars assuming that rating is on the low end of "it's OK" vs. 4, the high end of "I didn't like it". Because despite my complaints, which are multitude, I didn't feel like it was a total waste of my time.

I obtained this movie to watch based on "Tom Hanks" and nothing else. That won't be happening again. I didn't watch it for ages though. Seeing it sitting around yesterday (12-16-13) I looked at the IMDb blurb and thought, "This might be interesting." I didn't read any reviews.

I had the idea this was a time travel movie. See Tom Hanks old, see Tom Hanks much younger in scenes close together... I don't think that assumption was a leap. But that really isn't what's going on in this movie. While trying to think what it is like, I remember that as a child my mother would buy me connect the dot books. Connect the dots correctly.... Elephant! Hooray! This movie has dots galore. I wasn't connecting the dots, or if I was connecting the dots it was turning out to be a dream-catcher, not a movie. I did get that it was a series or parallel of stories and I was able to "care" about several of the stories as they hopped and skipped about, but it wasn't going to mold itself into the science fiction time travel movie I had suspected in the beginning.

Maybe if I watched it a few times or if it had closed captions I would have liked it more. I'm still pretty sure it was like movies that start in the middle, go to the end, and end with the beginning. But this movie was juggling several stories at once while doing that jumble the plot thing. I think. Probably why some people raved about the movie as genius. I'll be calling BS on that one.

There was one part where I had a "moment" that I really enjoyed. Others probably not. It was where one of Hank's "native" characters was talking gibberish to an anthropologist (I think). I think that because the "advanced" person slipped in and out of talking "normal" and talking gibberish when addressing Hank's character. What sort of surprised me is I cogged the gibberish. True, true.

I won't go so far as to say, "Don't waste your time." I've read some reviews now and some folks really like it. I'm guessing if you like to put jigsaw puzzles together while knitting, this movie would add pleasantly to your entertainment time. Or not. Your mileage may vary.

Enigma (I) (2009)

One day... someone associated with this film... will get mucho kudos.

[6/10 · 9 November 2013]

OK, you've already read enough to decide to watch this or not. First, I want to thank all the actors who participated in this obviously short indie movie. And the director for using every ounce of good acting in these folks. They didn't fail you. Put it all in a jar, shake it up, it's no one's fault it's murky.

The commander at the start of the movie caused me to see Captain Sheridan of Babylon 5. When we're bringing in the Scotty person... they're actually from Firefly, not Star Trek.

OK, the Scotty boy went to see the obviously alien prisoner and had an explosive device that exploded causing quite a ship-wide catastrophe.

Now this confused me A LOT. Bang and everyone is still there? Wait, wait, watch, wait... hey.... maybe that boom thing was a remote control because no one around it suffered a boom. But the ship sure did.

I'm going to give it 3 stars. Start with 5, knock off one for being shorter than most TV episodes. Knock off another for confusion and worrisome acting. The "special effects"....ah... did someone pay the Babylon 5 make up guy some money? We do have a dangerous and sexy alien.

There are the sexy skills fighting of Jennifer Garner (ala Alias) but in a Babylon 5 decked out type of alien make-up.... who can essentially kick ass. Just like they straight-out-told-you about the time of the "prisoner transfer". (Good make up job!) I have a few questions though. Why did the Firefly "Scotty" go bozo? Well, never-mind.... lots of questions.

This movie may have been a really cool episode of a really good science fiction series where there are plenty of episodes before and after this one. This one, credit where credit is due, does conclude. It didn't make me say, "Oh, yeah, now I get it!" but it was a conclusion that may spark some fun ideas... not unlike Alien with Sigorney Weaver. Her real name is Susan, lets stop this Siggy nonsense.

If you have an hour until dinner and you can get this on your 10 inch tablet in your kitchen... and you don't mind missing everything as you toss the salad while the casserole is cooking. Good call. You won't "get it" any better than I did but you'll feel like you got in a movie while making dinner.

Never-mind that it isn't really "movie" length. I have been unfair a bit though. While I could criticize this thing until the cows come home, I don't feel like I wasted any of my time. I think who ever put this together with (I hear) a limited budget, is someone who has the basics down on how to tell a story in film. I think one day they will be widely recognized. But not for this one.

Equilibrium (2002)

Not Neo, but they had the same "movie mother"

[7/10 · 9 November 2013]

Equilibrium I've read some reviews and it seems I ran across a set of them who may be taking an exam in film criticism. Not so fancy here. I liked it. But let me play a bit...

It started and dragged on for some time before I felt any action was taking place. A couple times I almost shut it off... there are lots of movies to watch, I would not want to waste any time on movies that are going to start and end on a yawn.

Fortunately, I stuck it out. You'll recognize the plot without effort, it is how we get to the climax and conclusion that we hope will surprise us. Ray Bradbury would be proud of this outing of one of his notable plots.

I think too much I suppose. The whole emotion thing brought back John Hurt in the movie of George Orwell's 1984. Perhaps we even have a hint of Body Snatchers with Donald Sutherland pointing and screeching at the end of the movie at those who are different. In this movie, "the different" are people who feel. Sensors, Sensers... Whatever they're called. You get the idea. The bad people who feel and cause wars and conflict and need extermination.

Enter Prozac Nation, and the 3rd Reich complete with an Adolf Hitler substitute to make sure everyone is on drugs to kill all sensations? Feelings?, etc., And then enjoy Pol Pot's indoctrination or 'retraining camps" except those were real and here it is just fiction to groom the population into Milo's (Phantom Tollboth) Doldrums.

Well thank goodness this utopian? distopian? movie springs a leak with one of the "Terminator" substitutes called clerics. Kind of cool, the idea... I mean, "cleric" is the super SS trooper killing machine. It has a spiritual overtone and I think that is a nice creative twist.

Then you're in for some some jaw dropping super special effects eye candy. John Preston (Christian Bale) in this movie is no Neo (Keanu Reeves ) from Matrix, but they had the same "movie mother." OK, I'll stop being a dweeb like so many reviews I have read. I liked it. Really. You'll need a little patience as the movie intentionally unfolds slowly. The action scenes are really cool, but being ex-military I promise you it's all cinema magic.

You might enjoy this move if you want to settle down with some popcorn for the slow uptake of the move. Hopefully, before the popcorn is gone you'll be rewarded with an exciting bunch of scenes leading to the hooray of the movie.

I'm giving 7 stars. Start with 10, knock three off for the slow start, maybe kick another one almost off the board for several reasons that will be self evident, but leaving the 7th star because in the end it is a character driven science fiction movie with character growth and change.

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

Evolution? Pruning the past? Back to the future? Strap in and enjoy.

[7/10 · 28 October 2013]

A 7 of 10 Sequel to Underworld. Evolution takes up where Underworld ends. Treachery and the craving for power appears to be where this story is headed as you step into the continuing saga. Selen (Kate Beckinsale) convinced the only way to stop the Vampire clans power grab by Kraven is to awaken Marcus, the original and most powerful vampire. This beginning sorts itself out rather quickly.

There is ample tension built into this movie from the beginning... between Marcus and Victor who Selen had awakened in Underworld to fight a rise in population of Lycans which had been thought to be almost extinct to start. There is also a lot going on between Michael, the hybrid, and Selen. This expresses itself as a romantic sub-plot and as co-protagonist that are largely "pursued" in Evolution. The Michael/Selen action doesn't seem to drive the main plot except as vehicles to carry the story from place to place. It might just be I'm thinking the characters are aren't terribly deep but they are cliché enough that you fill in the blanks. Sometimes that is the best way to keep a movie at a quick pace without slowing to explain things you will conclude without explanation.

I was confused on a couple things early in the movie. Some things just didn't make sense to me. Hang on... the movie does move rather quickly and the blanks are filled in a bit later in the movie.

The father of Marcus (vampire and antagonist) and William (werewolf), is Covinus, and makes his entrance into the story. Covinus is the original immortal, as the story goes, and who has only been hinted at in the series previously. It appears he is after whatever Marcus is after. Covinus appears a completely normal human with plenty of underlings and lots of technology. The movie doesn't go into this, but it is an easy assumption that if you've lived that long you've acquired pretty much anything you'd want to have.

After an unexplainable confrontation between Marcus and our protagonists, who manage to escape, there's a little romantic eye candy followed by a trip to an exiled vampire, Tanis, who is believed to know the answers Selen and Michael are seeking. Here the boom-bang excitement hiccups and is then reduced to a crawl so the narrative can reveal all the things you have been confused about to this point.

At this point in the movie (60 minutes in) you have a real good idea about the story and only lack a touch of motive which is easily understood later. What is left is to sit on the roller coaster and hang on TIGHT for the ride.

You might prematurely conclude this movie is gratuitous action, violence, and gore, but you'd be short changing yourself. The Underworld series of movies arc through the Romeo and Juliet plot, and with this story changes to a kind of love story you may not expect. With all the intrigue, twists, and turns you get, and even knowing "the story" well before the end, you'll still want to be around for the conclusion as you can only experience that by going the distance with this movie.

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

The Prequel to Underworld. "Rise of the Lycans"

[7/10 · 28 October 2013]

"Rise of the Lycans". That's a pretty good thumbnail view.

I liked this third outing of the Underworld series of movies. 7 of 10. No Kate Beckinsale as Selene, as this is actually a prequel to the Underworld series of movies. Enter the beautiful Rhona Mitra as Sonja. Folks may know Rhona Mitra was Claire Radcliff in the wonderful TV series, The Gates: A vampire and werewolf TV series that was sadly canceled after the first season. Off topic a second…, I can never understand that when one of the "networks" has a hit series they are compelled to dump it in such a way as to frustrate as many people as possible. The cables, like TNT, A&E, etc., seem infinitely better at making the "cancel series" decision… but I digress.

The point I slipped off of is that if you're inclined to beautiful goth women in vampire type movies, Rhona Mitra is not a step down from Kate Beckinsale.

Rise of the Lycans is another double down of the Romeo and Juliet plot… which made Underworld as touching as it was exciting. Because of this plot, the movies, except perhaps "Evolution", should have at least some appeal to those who crave some romance in their movies.

It is entertaining to see what they've done with this movie in relation to the other Underworld movies. They've taken some of the back-story that is hinted at in Underworld and filled in many of the blanks. I watched this third, as it came out third, but if I had better knowledge I would have watched this one first in the series of movies.

If you're looking for a review that critiques acting, cinematography, CGI, how realistic stunts were, etc., this is the wrong review for you. I watch movies to be entertained, to relate to the characters, and essentially enjoy myself. Unless it is just bad, like SyFy seems they must fill that nook, I don't notice much of that because I'm into the story. And this movie has one. If some technicality made it difficult to watch I'd say something but this movie doesn't get in the way of the story.

"This movie is dark!" What does that even mean? Vampires, underground, no sunlight… dark. Or is it because the characters aren't politically correct… does that make it "dark". This movie does move quickly. A twist in the plot, a surprise, an unexpected turn… I call that fun. Only better way to get that kind of fun is to read a book or do exciting things, like skydive or something.

Finally, a confession: I actually had no interest what-so-ever in the Underworld series until I checked up on an old favorite screenwriter of mine, J. Michael Straczynski. Turns out he is the writer of Underworld: Awakening. So, I wanted to get the earlier movies in my head before watching Awakening. That JMS associated with the franchise and even wrote a script for it was enough to spark my interest. I'm glad I took the time to watch this movie and the two earlier movies. Now on to the JMS screenplay, Underworld: Awakening.