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drahmiel
Reviews
Forrest Gump (1994)
Pathetic
This is one of the worst movies of all time. It is nothing more than an expensive, intricate jigsaw puzzle and none of the characters have redeeming value with the possible exception of Forrest's mother. His love interest Jenny is a vile human being and at no time did I want Forrest to end up with her. The off putting message IS in fact that you can be an idiot and be successful, and in fact suggests that it might be better to be so. The idea that skills that many people find so difficult to master all come so easily to a simpleton like Forrest is offensive. Its saving grace is that the book is even worse. I don't understand what people love about this movie, which is vastly overrated.
Second Best (2004)
The title is too good for this film.
This movie was atrocious. I got in for free and I walked out. This is one of those movies that would never have been made if the writer didn't know some famous people. Joe Pantoliano whines his way through the movie, spouting diatribes about what big losers he and his friends are. Of course he is a writer, a common conceit among the self-indulgent independent screenwriter/director crowd. He complains and complains about being a loser, despite the fact that his ex-wife and girlfriend are both hot, he has a bunch of friends, and has plenty of time to give out his diatribes, as well as an audience to listen to them. This self-indulgent trash was sickening and an insult to talented writers who can't get their films made because they don't have the ins with talented actors like Pantoliano. In fact, all the actors turn in fine performances, which is the only thing that comes close to saving this film. All things being equal though, go see something else.
Hulk (2003)
Anyone who says this movie was good is a poseur
People will use the "soccer defense" for this movie. That is, they will say it only seems so unbelievably dull because we average rational human beings are not sophisticated enough to understand/appreciate the high culture involved. Baloney. Ang Lee did nothing but take a movie about a giant green monster and make it boring. An impressive feat, mind you, but not one anyone should pay money to go see. Don't give me any nonsense about how he wanted to make it more than just a typical smash em up movie. First of all, a movie about the Hulk SHOULD be a smash em up movie. Secondly, for the 70 insufferable minutes of backstory and character development we get before we even see a HINT of green, the characters wind up being paper thin! I mean, what do we really know about Bruce other than that he was adopted at a young age and he's a big moralist. Zippo. And I HATE when Directors try to be arty in something that is just NOT an art film, to show how avant garde they are. He used the "24" esque split-screen technique to give this movie a "comic book feel?" Hey, I've got an idea Ang. Why not use your DIRECTION to give it a comic book feel instead of playing camera games? And 2 hours and 18 minutes for a movie about the Hulk? Hey, Ang, get over yourself and learn to edit. Finally, what was all that business about his father? The way I remember it, Bruce Banner became the Hulk when he got caught in the blast rescuing Rick Jones from the Gamma Bomb he helped to create. Is this tedious new story all Ang's creation? If so, WHY?? Ick. Don't waste your time with this literal monstrosity. 0/10