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Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2002)
Star Wars-branded violence that puts a smile on your face
Another day, another Star Wars title, because who doesn't like Star Wars? True, these games would have been vastly improved if they were based off of the original trilogy, but a good game-film adaptation can break free of the limits imposed upon it by the source material and become something good in its own right. Now I personally think that the prequel films were actually passable, and the quality generally went up later on, but it's undeniable that most of the games based on them outranked the movies without much trouble. One need only look at the bombastic pair of Starfighter games or the refreshingly brainless Bounty Hunter to see that goodness can come from mediocrity.
On the subject of Starfighter, eons ago in my first ever review I called it a more than decent space shooter which you should all run out and buy immediately. I can only assume you all did just that, and you probably liked it if you enjoy the genre. Well I think I've found a contender.
For whatever inexplicable reason, Clone Wars is almost worthless on GameCube but fetches a considerable price on PS2. I make a point with multi-platform releases to go for the PS2 version of things (DualShock 2 pwns your mother) unless there is a considerably superior or cheaper version elsewhere. I needed something to actually do with my Wii other than Metroid Prime anyway.
Gameplay can be summarised as a combination of ground and air vehicle combat (is this my third vehicle combat game review in a row?) against endless hordes of mean old droids and the occasional alien. Sadly no actual space levels turn up, making this technically not a space shooter, but it's Star Wars, and therefore sci-fi enough for my liking. You get to control such fun toys as STAPS, AATs, bland tank things, a Republic Gunship, AT-XTs, a weird lizard thing and even Mace Windu by himself a few times. They all have various boomers and bangers, plus a special ability unique to each, such as temporary invincibility. Such variety is refreshing, although it should be noted that each mission forces you to use a particular vehicle, rather than giving you a choice.
While in Starfighter you're limited to forward, back, turn and spin, modes of transport that utilise the ground are mysteriously more manoeuvrable. This is demonstrated by the ability to strafe, something that was sorely lacking in the space-based adventures. It allows for Motorsiege-style stand-offs, where adversaries circle each other stupidly until someone's hull blows. Complicated? No. Fun despite itself? Yes.
I'm still not entirely used to the (admittedly quite nice indeed) GameCube controller, but it must be said that Clone Wars handles with no real problems at all: it's responsive and functional. Plus I like how the big tanks feel slow and cumbersome while the wee things are lightweight and nippy. And it's the standard scenario where smaller things are usually weaker but harder to hit while the more massive things can lay waste to cities but crawl along the ground like slugs. It's nothing new, but a tried-and-tested formula is as good as any.
Blowing crap up is considerably fun, which is fairly crucial since you spend all your time doing just that. A logical tactic is to use your trusty blasters on the smaller blighters and save your missiles for the less little 'uns, although frequent ammo pickups mean that management is not hugely necessary.
The Jedi sections are just about acceptable, but they follow the Resident Evil tradition of thinking that humans move much like tanks, although it must be said that NOTHING could control as badly as the old Resi games. I feel that the on-foot bits were thought up quite late on just so something could be added as a bullet point on the back of the box, and it did look cool in the trailer.
Being on the battlefield is quite the experience, with tonnes of laser-shrapnel (is there such a thing?) landing all around you. It's got a similar style to Starfighter, in that you're told to do something as an overall objective for that mission, but then loads of little things pop up unpredictably that need your attention. Once or twice you need to defend a convoy, which may be asking for scorn (being the very definition of an escort mission), but since you only need one of the transports alive to win, you start with three or four and they can chew a lot of plasma before going boom, it's kept minimally frustrating. And there is just something about gunning down the clueless onslaught of droids headed for the convoy that amuses me.
Speaking of amusing me, anyone who read my original Starfighter review should remember that I was almost freakishly fond of crippling ships flying above the ground so that they would fall spinning to their inevitable demise. Well Clone Wars usurps this by letting you do the exact same thing, only this time large dropships carrying tanks can be caused to sink pitifully towards the solid rock below. And it happens a lot, so I was very happy indeed. That feature alone makes this game worth recommending, I say.
Clone Wars is not a colossal game, but its sheer variety and occasional epic boss fights keep it consistently entertaining. You travel from the final battle of Episode II to unknown reaches of space, and end up fighting ghosts (seriously) and preventing universal apocalypse once again, often accompanied by a bad Obi-Wan impersonator. Ah, joy.
In my usual disjointed and non-flowing way, I'm trying to recommend you a fine and dandy game available at low-low prices. It's short, but very enjoyable for the most part and very challenging if you adjust the difficulty accordingly, leaving something for completists to memorise. Unless you're hell-bent on getting the PS2 version, I'd recommend the far cheaper GameCube edition.
Ultimate Spider-Man (2005)
Spider-Man 2, but with more purple big-tongued mutants
Ever played the Spider-Man 2 game of the movie? Of course you have, because everybody has. It was the latest in the endless parade of licensed games which were all but guaranteed best-sellers. But amongst the sludge that is churned out by the industry every year, there's always the one gem. Spider 2 was that gem: it's badly put together, the combat is repetitive to the max, the boss battles mediocre, and the acting average, but one thing is great: the swinging. You cruise through the city, making use of a near-perfect system for movement that is both easy to pick up and hard to master, meaning that just buggering about in the central hub was far more fun than actually playing through the story. It is rare that a single feature can save a title, but Spider 2 manages it.
Following in this surprisingly pretty good effort's footsteps is Ultimate Spider-Man, an adaptation of the alternate reality comic of the same name. Once again developed by Treyarch, the game inevitably shares many of its genes with the company's previous effort.
The first thing that jumped to my attention was the lovely cell-shading that envelops the entire experience, coupled with the genius use of panels like in a comic, which sees such moments as when characters jump to dodge an attack, fly out of a panel and land in another. It looks supremely stylish.
Less great, any veterans of Spider 2 will doubtless spend the best part of a half-hour struggling to get used to the unnecessarily altered control setup: whereas before one had to swing with R2, before pressing X to release and then fire another webline, the new game just requires holding and releasing R2 to move around. Some people prefer this, others don't, and I fall neatly into the latter category. It feels different to what I got so used to less than a year earlier, and therefore earns a good shunning from me. Still, a single nice addition comes with the ability to climb up a webline by holding triangle, which is a nice way of gaining some quick height. The worst part? The button layout is fixed, ergo completely uneditable. Grr.
Despite the flaws, I adjusted and enjoyed zipping about the (slightly smaller than before) city to a fair degree.
More problematic is the combat: to date, no Spider-Man game seems to have possessed a truly 'good' fighting system, and Spider 2's was competent at best, but Ultimate takes a step backwards. While less overflowing with pointless combos and more weightier-feeling, beating thugs up is simply a chore, made worse by the maddening requirement of webbing foes up either just before or after delivering the final blow. A minor annoyance, but absolutely essential, because the bastards keep getting back up otherwise.
An interesting mechanic is the fact that switching between kicking and punching (triangle and square) does extra damage, which is a big help during the game's many boss fights.
On the subject of boss fights, this is another adventure that is mysteriously spent witling away at massive life bars for half its duration. The brawls in question are almost all enjoyable, and display at least some level of development competence, although very similar repeated encounters can drag on.
The music is pleasantly acceptable, being a mix between funkiness for general work and orchestral epicness during the critical story battles. It's not that exceptional, but the main menu tune is pretty catchy, and sure as hell got stuck in my head a while. Why, there it is now....actually, that's bothering me....
The plot is based on the comics (nah, really?), and presented with gusto, through use of the nicey-nice cutscenes and generally hunky-dory acting. It's a combination of cartoonish silliness and grim seriousness, but makes for a more compelling watch than the awkward romances of the films, at least.
Highlighted amongst this are Spider-Man's trademark quips, which flow from his mouth during every cutscene and every clash. While it is all very much hit-and-miss, the majority of his comments are grin-inducing, although I can assure you that your sides are unlikely to split.
So far, I've made it sound a lot like Ultimate is just a prettier, more technically impressive version of its spiritual predecessor. While that is partly true, the most interesting aspect of the game is the supposed arch-villain and second playable character Venom, who was much-hyped, deservedly.
In contrast to Spidey's nimble acrobatics, Venom lumbers through the city like the beast he is, and jumps colossal distances rather than swinging, although his tentacles act as a comparable tool to the Spider's web-zip, and are used to move forward at speed.
Along with those extremities, the big purple dude slashes with his claws, punches, kicks, faceplants people, throws cars around, breaks the backs of slow-moving adversaries and even eats folks. By absorbing them into his body, Venom gains health (which constantly dwindles), before spewing the victim out. I checked, and they are clearly breathing, sadly. Still, broken backs are less easily remedied, eh? At the very least, there are now far more paraplegics in the world. Also, I count having THAT tongue as a superpower.
Back on the topic of Venom, he is so much more preferable to Spider-Man that the game became a case of slogging through until the next section where he was available. Typically, these bits are considerably fewer and less lengthy. Well, if that ain't just peachy. But not to worry, fans of evil teeth-and-tentacle monsters; if you manage to beat the (easy, and short) main plot, you can play as Venom whenever you want, with no restrictions, and even partake in a destruction mini-game wherein you fight endless hordes of human resistance, with different levels of pain-bringing.
Venom's inclusion is reason enough to buy this, but by no means the only thing going for it. Definitely worth having.
Area 51 (2005)
Entertaining shooting and a dark sense of humour make for quality stuff
Ah, aliens: the prototypical video game bad guys. Along with Nazis, zombies and goblins, more extra-terrestrials have appeared as enemies in games than sewer levels and annoying sidekicks, and games like today's subject use this cliché to their advantage to serve up some enjoyably cheesy FPS blasting. Pull on your HEV suit and dive in with me. And don't touch anything sticky and glowing.
The famous base with untold mysteries is portrayed as what every conspiracy nutter claims it to be in real life: chock-full of intergalactic guinea pigs, reverse-engineered technology and enough mad scientists to host a convention of the gits with. The least stable of the lab jockeys decides to unleash the various captive nasties one day and as a result the entire complex is overrun, as folk either get eviscerated or turned into mutants by a super-contagion. Intrigued by all the screaming, some HAZMAT blokes are sent in and soon wish they hadn't been. You're the sod who has to go in and get 'em out. This wonderfully two-dimensional plot setup is what I'd want and expect from a common or garden shooter, and Area 51 gets it just right. A convoluted plot can be more of a detriment than a positive addition in games like these, and keeping the focus on exaggerated action is the best option. After all, TimeSplitters has basically no story, and look how that turned out. My only problem with the plot for Area 51 is that it's hard to take seriously, since historical documents prove that the crew from Futurama were the cause of Roswell's famous enigmas, so this junk about human-alien pacts and the like seems far-fetched. Bender was the UFO, obviously. Basic stuff.
The weapons themselves are mostly disappointing, consisting of your bog-standard shotgun, rifle and pistol, but though predictable they're also sufficiently boomy. Much like Republic Commando, just because the equipment selection is forgettable doesn't mean it's not entertaining. Plus you do eventually get an alien gun that fires bouncy, sticky explosives, and another that just destroys a whole room, so at least it's not completely boring. It's definitely no Ratchet and Clank, though. One saving grace is that the rifle and shotgun can be dual-wielded, and the extra firepower is much appreciated in small corridors. In short, there are a good few brown trouser moments.
I mentioned the mindless "leapers" before, but you also get mutants with guns, headcrab impersonators, the occasional hulking titan, some shadowy military types and eventually a few Greys. Of these opponents, the only truly memorable ones in my mind were the Greys, which is ironic considering they're the only creature designed to mimic a popular established image. For whatever reason, they stuck with me and little else did. Perhaps the main Grey's voice actor had something to do with it, having given such a chilling performance. Who might it be, you ask? Only that lord of all weirdness, Marilyn Manson. I smeg you not. Both the alien and his actor are a bit wrong in the head, so you can't fault the casting choice. The extra features show Marilyn identifying with his character (known as Edgar), and saying that they "share a general contempt for mankind".
Perhaps most easily remembered about Area 51 is its lovely sense of humour. It's nothing of Armed and Dangerous levels, but worthy of the odd snigger. Most of the comedy comes from documents that can be scanned to reveal either backstory or description of some ludicrous government project. Bigfoot, cropcircles, cow mutilation and more are explained. It seems that every urban legend from the 40s onwards was related to the secret base, and the most amusing thing I discovered revealed the true nature to a certain famous mission in 1969. Just watch and try not to chuckle. Destroy All Humans! is more funny overall, since the B-movie styling and alien perspective are hard to beat, not to mention the fact that Invader Zim plays a starring role. Even so, Area 51 has regular bursts of comedy and sometimes a flash of brilliance.
It's immeasurably awesome that the troubled grunt you play as should be voiced by Mulder from The X-Files. He sounds exactly the same, with that monotone mumbling which just embodies him as an actor. He works not only in terms of performance, but also because, you know, Area 51? X-Files? It's just too perfect, and quite the privilege to have The Man himself lending his voice to you. Just keep the tank topped up and be gentle with her.
A great inclusion is the level select, which goes a step further by letting you continue from any checkpoint. Many, many games before and since should have incorporated the same idea but didn't. It allows for replayability, as you can avoid the less good bits and focus on reliving the best sections, mainly the middle third.
The music is some very stylish synthesised goodness that's most similar to the Return to Planet X theme from TimeSplitters 2. It's appropriate in terms of frantic mood and alien-ness, and you've gotta love it.
Cover-ups, conspiracies, traitors, Illuminati, genetic manipulation...it's all here and all brilliant silliness. Combine that with passable shooting and a handful of cunning sections and you've got a well-made game that's more than competent and the gaming equivalent of popcorn cinema: utterly derivative, but one Hell of an expedition. A respectful nod towards such gaming traditions as invaders from space and escaping before the facility blows up in classic Metroid fashion lends character to proceedings, and elevates the package above being "just another FPS". It's not outstanding, but it's nearly there, and ideal throwaway entertainment.
Celebrity Deathmatch (2003)
Stupid amounts of fun despite some serious flaws in every department
Any game that lets you control Mr. T as he beats up aliens, werewolves and all manner of lesser celebrities immediately gets my attention. It's one of those things that must literally be impossible to dismiss at first glance, much like a Snickers cellotaped to a £20 note. Of course, neither the TV show or the game based on it focus entirely on Mr. T, as stupid as that is. You might have a choice of a dozen or two other famous folk, but when there's Mr. T, why bother with any other options? Since the basic concept of the programme is to have a pair of celebrities beat each other to clay paste in a wrestling arena, it was inevitable that the game would follow a similar theme. You can either mix and match your own combatants, arenas, time limits and styles of match (standard, cage...) or go through the equivalent of a campaign: this basically amounts to fighting three matches in a row and seeing how well you do before unlocking the next one. The characters are always fixed, but you can fight as either of the two involved in each round.
Thus we get into the actual gameplay, which is as basic as it comes but still strangely compelling for reasons I'll be getting to in a moment. You have your standard array of light, strong and special attacks, a grapple move, a block button and a special über-move which you can unleash whenever you taunt or smack your opponent enough to fill a power bar. It's not at all complex or original, but it is easily picked up and any fool can figure out what few intricacies there are without effort. The action is speedy, because you're always on the move and aiming to get some hits in or nick one of the power-ups that randomly generate nearby.
Now if the game world was populated merely by stick figures and blank backgrounds this might make for an average Flash title, but luckily the people at Big Ape Productions (who previously made Simpsons Wrestling, funnily enough) didn't let the license go to waste and made their product as attractive and chock-full as a low-budget company could hope to. Every arena is completely decked out with ludicrous props and features, the combatants all look, act and speak in their own unique fashion, the original commentators voice their in-game selves (endlessly make witty quips in both the menus and during confrontations) and best of all gore and all manner of bodily fluids go flying everywhere at the slightest provocation.
Let's get into the gore some more (hey, that rhymes!). Easily the highlight of the battles is the sheer amount of blood that can be leached from an opponent: a character with little health looks like they've been slammed against a brick wall seven times, and the weapons that can be picked up have the potential to sever limbs, leaving victims hopping around with stubs. Once someone finally activates their finisher on a battered foe, the screen is simply drenched in claret. The thrill of the kill is what kept me pushing on, and I can imagine multiplayer being at least briefly entertaining.
The entire game is just so delightfully over-the-top that when you see Mr. T chase his opponent around throwing bombs at them and then dropping the A-Team van on their head, you cannot help but be amused. Another cunning plan involves recreating yourself in the "create-a-celebrity" screen and then playing against them as the Punisher of Fools. Good stuff.
At the end of the day, Celebrity Deathmatch a rather mediocre game: the gameplay is amazingly shallow, it's not at all hard unless you push the difficulty to its limits, and I noticed that the collision detection is suspect. But really, these flaws are made irrelevant when you take into consideration that what with Mr. T, extreme violence and a genuinely funny script involved, this is a real candidate for the most awesome title on the planet. This is the only game I've played that Mr. T has officially appeared in, albeit made of clay. Plus I can't help but mention that you can buy Celebrity Deathmatch for 99p on Amazon, or even just 1p if you get the PS1 version. Other than visual differences, they're probably identical, so you might consider saving the cash for a few Snickers Duos.
Regardless, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the game, and spent nearly two whole hours finishing the episodes and then randomly pitting Mr. T against unlucky adversaries. I'm arranging a game day so that I can experiment with various co-op titles, and Celebrity Deathmatch is definitely amongst that pile. If you're a fan of the show or like beat-'em-ups in general, give this a look. It's the most hilariously OTT thing I've played since Manhunt, but somehow more entertaining in the long run.
And if still you have doubts, you can murder the entire cast of 'N Sync until you tire of seeing Mr. T kicking girly man-children in the face. See? I told you this game had longevity.
Cel Damage (2001)
It's like Wacky Racers, only somehow even more demented and all the better for it
After getting a pleasant semi-surprise with Motorsiege: Warriors of Primetime in my last review, I decided that I should hunt down some more budget games to see if there are any others worth having, unlike the good majority of them, which are most certainly not. It then occurred to me that I had sampled such a title in the moderately distant past. Not only that, but it was another vehicular combat game published by the same folks who both published and developed Motorsiege. "Well hot dog!" I thought, eagerly clicking through Amazon and ordering a dozen or so other things while I was there, "I can't wait for my latest acquisitions to arrive!"
Within the week, all had turned up, and among them was my very own copy of Cel Damage Overdrive (sic).
As I mentioned, there are some rather harrowing parallels between the two games: vehicle combat; produced on a tight budget; sold at the lofty price of £10.00; published by Play It!, a cheapy game company who I am beginning to develop a mild affection for after two pleasant experiences (and one less happy, but let's not spoil the mood, eh?).
In a plot setup that sounds intriguingly similar, a selection of oddballs end up working as what amounts to modern gladiators, tearing apart each other's fossil fuelled chariots for the entertainment of the masses sitting at home watching the escapades on their tellies. I very much approve of a pure filler plot such as this in the case of a game that's really just about mindless destruction. It keeps the focus where it's most needed.
Of the ten characters available (although some must be unlocked), I went for Fowl Mouth, a 1930s New York gangster. His car and even his body are inexplicably coloured black and white, and he lives up to both sides of the pun in his name, being not only a farm bird but also a speaker of nasty words that are bleeped in-game to protect the wee ones from what they will inevitably learn by the age of nine anyway.
Whoever you end up choosing, you must then pick a game mode, of which there are exactly three. I checked the manual: there are no more to unlock or find or even any codes for them. What you see is what you get. A little lacking, but what can be done?
You have the omnipresent Deathmatch, which is slightly different to the norm because you are rewarded not only for killing enemies but also merely wounding them. Not a massive change, but a significant one nonetheless.
Then there's your bog-standard Racing. This is easily the most tedious of the bunch, because the cars were primarily made for fighting, not speed. This means that as you loop around an arena through the designated goals, you move at a slow walk unless you utilise the boost, but that still fails to make affairs interesting. What could have been literally Wacky Races 2 is tragically an utter bore.
At last comes Capture The Flag. Nip around the track collecting flags and then deposit them where required, all while fending off your ravenous opponents. A couple of niceties are thrown in though, because the flags have legs and attempt to evade capture, and you can pick up numerous flags at once to get a multiplier when you cash them in, resulting in a higher score than dropping them off individually. Also a heavy jolt will dislodge one part of your cargo, leaving it easy prey for others to cannibalise. I have yet to test the 4-player version of CTF, but it might well be the multiplayer highlight.
The best thing about Cel Damage is the weapon selection and the horrible acts of carnage that can be performed against adversaries. A frankly staggering total of 36 guns, launchers, melee beaters and other dangerous implements are at your disposal, although most of them need unlocking. Probably my favourite is the circular saw flinger, which simply sends massive saws the size of Minis hurtling forwards, tearing through the ground in a straight line and chipping away at anything which approaches. At their best, the weapons are bags of fun to use, since each hit on a target can send them reeling if you're talking about the big guns. Everything responds to being struck in a delightfully idiotic way. Supposedly a highly complex physics system is involved, but all you have to know is that when you pound a truck with a pair of mechanical boxing gloves, it will bounce away in a crumpled mess.
The only real issue with the weapons is that some are grossly overpowered. This might be workable if they required extra effort to obtain, but all arms come from randomly generated power-ups that can spawn anything from the weakest to strongest tools. This luck-reliant factor means that if someone just happens across one of the über-guns early on, they might gain an advantage which is practically undefeatable. You can limit the damage by turning off any of the weapons you choose, but that feels like caving in. Never give up. Never surrender.
Just playing the game to unlock places, boomsticks, characters and videos for the characters is rewarding enough to warrant finding Cel Damage for yourself. It's got some big wrong bits, the longevity is limited and it falls a bit short of Motorsiege, but when you consider that I bought both of these games for a penny each, you should nab the pair of 'em. Now if someone can just make a Mr. T kart racer we'll have a potential Mashed beater. Someday...
Sheep Raider (2001)
Charming, addictive and frequently genius puzzler
The sad fact is that most games based off of cartoons are at best presentable and at worst stylish coke glass mats. The problem is that almost all of them end up being utterly bland platformers, usually ripping off something like Mario 64 or Spyro. But every once in a while we get something special. Today's subject is just that: special.
Perhaps you recall the amusing Sam Sheepdog and Ralph Wolf cartoons? The simple tale of a wolf intent on stealing sheep from a flock guarded by a silent, seemingly blind but extremely strong dog allowed for many entertaining scenarios. Countless years later, the fine people at Infogrames constructed a game for the Playstation based on the original programme. A historical moment indeed for both cartoons and video games.
What separates the inconveniently named Sheep, Dog 'n' Wolf (also slightly less awkwardly but more embarrassingly known as Sheep Raider in the home of the Yanks) from the majority of cartoon-based games is its originality: it's unlike nearly everything ever, since the core idea of having to steal sheep from the ever-vigilant Sam is intact, meaning that this is primarily a stealth and puzzle game and secondarily a platformer.
The goal is deceptively simple: Ralph must employ sneaking and gadgets to steal a sheep without being spotted, and then place it in the designated white circle on the ground to complete a level. This basic concept is fantastic for a game, and gets highly expanded upon in the later stages. The various gadgets range from an electric fan to a sheep costume, and certain levels have special situations. For example, on a few occasions Sam will attack anything that enters his area indiscriminately if there are too many or too few sheep in there. It all gets very creative.
Part of the game's genius is the presentation. The cartoon visuals suit the theme seamlessly, and the selection of music tracks are all very catchy and memorable, not to mention guaranteed to get stuck in your head. Perhaps best of all is the employment of cartoon logic: explosions leave characters charred black; all injuries –no matter how gruesome- cause purely temporary damage and people will fall for even the least convincing of disguises. It plays like an episode of Loony Tunes, and that's definitely a good thing.
The game is quite lengthy, with fifteen main levels and 2 hidden ones. Obviously in anything that involves brain power, different people will take longer than others, so a proper estimate of gameplay time is difficult to make. Even so, there's no denying that the average fellow will have a good bit of bang for his buck, since the normal levels get increasingly hard and complex. The difficulty is never too bad, but you'll probably get stumped at least a few times. Such occasions can be highly annoying, but it's worth it just for the satisfaction of finally finishing that one tricky bit.
Of course, one cannot comment of SD&W's difficulty without mentioning a tragic encounter at the end of level ten. The game's only boss fight takes place here, and it's the most perplexing thing in the game by a good margin. It's not a game-breaker by any means, but it certainly detracts from an otherwise great design.
The controls are responsive and reliable, with the essential "sneak" button and the fun "dash" option. You'll use them a lot, I can tell you. I small problem I found is that while the jumping is pretty fine, it does sometimes go a bit iffy. More intriguingly, this is the only PS1 game I know of which lets you rotate the camera with the right analogue stick, whereas most force you to use the L2 and R2 buttons. Can you think of any others? The cartoon atmosphere is strengthened by a large number of cameos: Daffy Duck is frequently around to offer advice; Elmer Fud appears in one level doing what he always is (hunting); Porky Pig is found tending a garden of lettuce early on, and countless others of all levels of fame turn up as well. The voices are spot-on, and you never once question that it's the character it's meant to be.
Simply moving through the stages is great fun, as you piece together what needs doing bit by bit. While it's not the biggest game, it's decently sized and endlessly pleasurable while it lasts. Of course, since working out problems is the fun part, once completed the game loses its main appeal and thus has little replay value. As such, I suggest that you play it once every year or so, in the hope that you forget what to do in-between attempts.
If you have wee-ones whom you love dearly, avoid buying them the latest film-game adaptation and spend a tenth as much cash getting them Sheep, Dog 'n' Wolf instead. It's a wonderful adventure that can be enjoyed by folks of all ages, and doesn't insult your intelligence when you play it.
Having gotten the awful boss fight out of the way, I genuinely have no more problems with the game. It's got charm up the wazzoo, fun for everybody who can hold a controller, and has lost none of the greatness that I first beheld back in 2001. I personally consider this one of my favourite Playstation games ever. It's not fair to compare something like this to Soul Reaver (even if the time-travelling levels in SD&W share the same "alternate universes" idea as Soul Reaver), but since Legacy of Kain is obviously a bit much for younger minds, any family-folk interested in a game must purchase Sheep, Dog 'n' Wolf as soon as possible.
Futurama (2003)
Zany platforming fun bolstered by brilliantly authentic comedy
Is Futurama the best thing ever? Possibly. Is it the best animated sitcom ever? Probably, since the only competition is its older but less daft cousin The Simpsons. In any case, it's an exceedingly good show, and chances are you agree with me, seeing as you're reading this, and all. Now consider the Futurama game. Best game ever? Hell, no. While it's not without its charms, I could name a dozen similar but superior titles. But here's the thing: this gets a good bit more right than it gets wrong, although when it does slip up, it does so quite inelegantly.
What with this being a licensed title, the only reason I or anyone played this was the subject matter, so it seems like a perfect starting point. What with this being released after the fourth series ended and the show was cruelly put on hiatus (a crime against fun, although it has recently restarted, which is cause for celebration), many consider the game a 'lost episode', and it does deserve the reputation, for the comedy and styling is more or less spot-on, and nearly all your favourite characters are there, all seemingly with their proper voices. Amy, Hermes and Scruffy were apparently away at the time of the events unfolding, but I didn't notice anyone who was there with a bad impersonator instead of the real deal. It would also appear that some non-speaking help was at hand, with the writing and comedic timing being all but seamless. If you just wanted an interactive episode, you couldn't have hoped for more.
Basic plot is as follows: Professor sells Planet Express to Mom (who I like to call 'Mum' because I'm a British crumpet-chomper), which gives the evil hag a 51% stake in Earth's value, effectively giving her control of the globe. Naturally, the trusty trio of Fry, Leela and Bender have to clean up the mess. This is done by partaking in traditional but solid platforming malarkey across varied environments filled with amusing enemies, countless references to past jokes as well as a number of new 'uns. Where could you go wrong? The first thing I noticed while playing was that the jumping was pretty damned responsive, and that Fry's shooting-things combat was simple but effective. Less good by far was the foolish inclusion of a lives system, although the game's explanation for repeated deaths is gold-quality funniness. Lives are a horrible way of artificially hardening and lengthening (*girlish giggle*) gameplay. Die one too many times, and you have to do the whole level again instead of just appearing at the nearest checkpoint like usual. Stupidity incarnate, and there is no defence against it. Luckily, there exists a cheat to give oneself extra lives, which I suggest you use. It makes the game the proper, unfiddled-with difficulty, which is to say a tad easy, but that's far superior to hair-tearing. Finally, the camera is a bit squiffy, especially in enclosed areas.
All the characters have different combat styles and so forth, with Fry being gun-crazy, Bender spinning like a certain orange overgrown rodent from down under, and Leela being pretty rubbish. In fact, Leela is a bit broken, because her punches don't seem to be able to hit without getting her damaged too, so jump-kicking like a spring-booted retard is the only guaranteed road to victory. It's the old "why can't they pick up a gun from their fallen enemies" thing again, like in Wolverine's Revenge. That game is better than this, but not by much, and Futurama's funnier. Zoidberg suddenly pops up late in for a brief, mildly enjoyable but increasingly annoying timed romp through a swamp (hey, that rhymes!) on the back of a 'horse' as he calls it, tentacles and all.
This is the kind of game that doesn't strive for originality or greatness, but it's better than The Simpsons Hit & Run by a long shot, although when it comes to licensed games, King Kong is probably king, conveniently enough. It has a few nice ideas with platforming challenges, but the puzzles are at best boring and at worst absolutely horrific, but they shall feel my wrath in but a few moments; I want to compliment the game more before kicking it in the balls.
The biggest selling point is also its biggest strength, as I touched on before, and the atmosphere truly is consistent all the way through, although the very beginning is a tad slow. The humour is straight out of the Telly, the music is all new and old Chrisopher Tyng work, and the visuals are more than sufficient cell-shaded loveliness. Each location has a different feel, but the sun civilization's living skeleton army were my favourites, because everything they say is either a bone joke or a bone pun.
All the characters constantly sprout appropriate witty remarks, with varying degrees of annoyance. Fry was irritating, Leela teetered on unbearable, Bender was tolerable (mainly because I basically have metal fever for him) and Zoidberg is completely enjoyable, since I only spent half an hour with him. Also very nice are the recurring 4th-wall shattering remarks, including Zoidberg explaining his being on a distant planet by proclaiming "I'm here for my cameo!", and Fry's seeing a large game over sign upon death. It's terrific stuff, and the writers clearly took advantage of the medium when they had the chance. Hit & Run's jokes were almost all just stolen from the show, too.
Pretty much the only major dealbreaker is a monumentally awful series of number puzzles near the climax, which damn near spoiled my enthusiasm.
But that aside, there's a lot to like about Futurama, though you'll doubtless appreciate it more if you're a fan. Hunt it down, slip it in and prepare your funny bone for a workout.