wmjgas59 Reviews

Time to Leave (2005)

Oh, what tripe...

[9 November 2006]

First, I am not a homophobe. I didn't find the movie horrible because it was about a gay man. I AM a gay man.

I found it terrible because after he died, I didn't give a toot. I loved his grandmother. But nobody had anything human to say. The script was pretentious crud. There was no emotional sense to any of it.

He impregnates a woman with her husband right there. It was so creepy and sickening. The whole plot device felt hollow and calculated. And it appeared the couple was discussing aborting the child as they left him the last time. Total manipulation.

He throws away everyone in his life and holds them all (to a lesser extent even his grandmother) at arms length as he wastes away. He uses sexuality as a way to interact with family, frightening his poor Dad. What a sad, stupid person. I wouldn't walk across the street to spit on him if he was on fire.

And I had to pay to see this waste of oxygen finally left alone (as he wanted and so richly deserved) on that beach. Narcissistic from the word go. He was a jerk before his diagnosis. He was a narcissistic twit during his illness and died a loathsome isolated shadow.

And that they made him gay only added insult to injury. I don't think there are enough movies about gay folks that I want to waste any on someone so loathsome.

Do I think there are folks like this in the world? Sure. But I don't want to waste my time watching movies about them.

If you want to see a GREAT movie about a gay man who runs into his younger self (another poorly executed device here that only pays off when he sees his younger self kissed by his little friend), one that has power and depth, see The Hanging Garden directed by Thom Fitzgerald. That film had human emotions, and shares a LOT with this movie in terms of subplots, but it has recognizable human beings and bracing dialogue.

My advice? Avoid this like the plague, see The Hanging Garden instead.

Batman Begins (2005)

Best movie 'Ever' -- ha ha ha ha

[24 June 2006]

I have seen the future of lame movies, and this is it.

I usually see these sorts of movies at a free preview, and in this case I'm sorry I missed it there. But at least I didn't have to pay anything for this dreck. I got it from my local library.

This is the saddest big movie 'comic book adaptation' I've seen in a long while. Plot holes the size of universes. Empty performances. Wild changes in pacing and lame car chases.

Honestly, none of these characters was appealing (with the exception of a grossly underplayed Sergeant Gordon). And he's a cypher compared with almost any of the folks in the Spiderman universe. Alfred, as played by Michael Caine, is all nobility and wry smiles. Liam Neeson should be grateful his idiotic character dies at the end of his foul mess.

Katie Holmes shows the range of emotions from A to B. She's so dull, and lifeless here, memories of better performances drain from my mind. And Christian Bale looks positively horrible here.

The most disturbing thing is Bale uses his vocalization from American Psycho. Nothing like having Batman's alter ego being Patrick Bateman.

And the worst thing for me was how all the actors seem badly cast. Tom Wilkinson as 'Carmine Falcone'? Rutger Hauer as some despicable CEO? What a waste. Cillian Murphy as the Scarecrow? He looked more like Kitten Braden (Breakfast on Pluto) than a bad guy. And he was about as frightening as a kitten, too.

I am not a fanboi of the Bat, so I'm not sure how faithful this goop is to the original Batman universe. But the psychology here is of the quality you find on candy hearts at Valentines.

Bruce Wayne starts in prison. Too bad they didn't leave him there. I didn't get transported into a cool place, I just sat there unable to believe how much this series had fallen since Batman Returns.

Awful. And something like this gets better than an 8.0 (8.4 as of 6/24/06)? I'm beginning to think the stats are fixed. Either that or you folks who loved this mess just don't know a good movie. Give me Batman Returns any day. I won't be returning to this franchise again. Period.

The Lake House (2006)

Wow, this thing reeked!

[14 June 2006]

See Sandra Bullock (b. 1964) play a 'young doctor'! See Keanu Reeves (b. 1964) play a young up-and-coming hot-shot intellectual (!) architect. See as Keanu plays a wooden man! Catch Sandra and Keanu's zero chemistry. Watch as a dog, who seems to be caught in some time/space displacement loop, be one of the more sterling actors in this melodrama.

This isn't the worst movie you'll ever see, but it looks cheap, and the editing is amateurish at times. The middle third is probably ten or fifteen minutes too long. And outside of the wholesale miscasting of the leads, there are plot holes and dime-store coincidences that make movies like 'Serendipity' look WAY better in comparison. And it is my suspicion that Serendipity is the reason John Cusack wisely decided to back out of this mess.

Keanu and Sandy really need a hit about now. This isn't going to be it.

House M.D.: Forever (2006) Season 2, Episode 22

What a strange, sad episode...

[11 May 2006]

IMHO, the overall quality of this series is among the best on television. But this thing creep-ed me out. I've never seen them loose patients, and then ultimately loose BOTH patients.

I really found the way the patients were treated to be awful. Sure, it was pretty obvious that they were dealing with an animatronic doll most of the time with the baby, but it was still horrifying to see an infant with all that medical equipment hooked up to him.

That his mother was alcoholic and hearing voices that told her to kill her child was so sad I literally couldn't stop crying. Then to have House be unable to manipulate her into wanting to put this past her. The parents were just emotional babies (and I don't mean that in a abusive way, but they seemed to be far more screwed up than anybody I've ever seen on the series -- outside the pedophiles).

Everyone's emotions are boiling in this one. Foreman, still recovering from his recent near-death experience, seems downright upbeat. Which angers House. Chase is hiding from lying patients (he says) by working in the pediatric emergency ward. Which angers House. Cuddy is apparently trying to become pregnant, and House lets her think he's betrayed her, even though he's hiding her secret.

I know House is a lovable curmudgeon. But some of his actions ring false. Doesn't he hide from patients because they lie? Does he really think he can manipulate EVERYTHING and EVERYONE (like Foreman) and yet he gives up on the young mother who killed her child while she was delusional? Poor Kip Pardue, he's given some of the worst dialogue this series has ever come up with. And his stoic face looks disengaged rather than with-held.

All and all, a very poor effort. It takes the premise of the show: House saves EVERYONE, even if he has to manipulate and break rules right and left, and here he fails to save either. In fact, it appears the young father is suicidal.

Cuddy, often a foil, here is very vulnerable. And House tortures her when it seems as though he is unable to actually reveal her weakness. He just makes her feel like she's being revealed. Thus making House seem perversely cruel, rather than an adorable curmudgeon.

Come on writers! Follow the script guidelines!

Poseidon (2006)

Posiden: A Real Disaster

[9 May 2006]

You could build an entire subdivision with the wooden dialogue and acting. You could tell when folks were going to die, and 'why' according to the whacked out 'logic' of the screenplay.

Did I mention the thing is racist? That Hispanics are only shown as waiters and stowaways and such? That they ALL DIE? Oh, and then there's the way the audience was laughing when folks died. Admittedly, one goes out like Wily Coyote. But the other guy is convulsing and drowning, and I admit it, it looked ridiculous.

Poor Kurt Russell, he was never much of an actor. But here, with some of the most awful dialogue, he flounders.

Richard Dryfuss, also just there for a paycheck, does a fairly good job with what is a horrible part. He plays the middle-aged gay guy who is pitied by all his friends because his partner found someone else and deserted him to this disaster. He's doing like a good gay man, and committing suicide when he sees the wave coming.

The rest of the movie, he's just a plot device. He comes on to the Hispanic waiter, only to have to kill the man to preserve his own life. Then he meets the stowaway the waiter was 'trading' passage for sex with. She, of course, has a big target painted on her as well.

I suppose you were supposed to feel less bad about killing the Waiter because he was exploiting the young woman. But the folks who are most exploited are the audience.

The lame script, by Mark Protosevich (The Cell and nothing since that 2000 film) is a seething mass of hatred for humanity in general.

If you like movies were non-whites are marginalized (the only black person on the cruise ship appears to be poor Andre Braugher) before they're killed off. If you really love scripts so lame that even the characters get frustrated with the stupid situations they're put in, then run off and see this monstrosity, otherwise VOTE NO. Save yourself $10.50 and buy the original on DVD.

The Hebrew Hammer (2003)

Good movie, GREAT commentary...

[10 January 2006]

I got his film on DVD for Channukah. The friend who gave it to me and my best friend watched it recently. The film itself is quite good. Lots of cool folks in it (and Andy Dick). Some fine comedic acting and a lot of fun visual gags.

We had fun watching it. But when we decided to listen 'for a few minutes' to the commentary we were in stitches. The director and the star of the film were discussing it when the director's Mother came in. She MADE the commentary. We laughed so hard we had to back the thing up to hear what we'd missed. She's a hoot! Great flick, except for Andy doing his usual shtick. FANTASTIC director's commentary.

Buy the DVD and enjoy!

Sin City (2005)

Wow

[5 July 2005]

If I could give this dreck a negative 10, I would. "This is the film they were trying to make when they made Sky Captain." I've heard this, or similar statements over and over in the press and on the web.

Let me see: Both are digital movies. Only the actors and some of the props are "real." But where SK created fully realized, DAYLIGHT worlds, SC is all dark and virtually black and white.

SK is from an original idea by its director. SC is (from all accounts) a shot by shot remake of a comic book. (Yeah, I know, comic books are freakin' art now.) SK provided a sense of wonder and amazement. SC provides cheap thrills and waves of disgust. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

SK had fun, subtle sexual chemistry between one guy and two disparate women. SC had men who are violent (and proud of it in most cases) and women who are tits, attitude, and foul mouths. The entire time I forced myself to sit through this crass, low-class, crud I could only think: This is the wet dream of all the puny, pasty-souled, weak-willed little men of the world. Men who want a big gun and a big powerful way to make up for their tiny truth, in other words, its defenders.

SK did it first. SC did it wrong, from they hyper-red lipstick to the uber violence and prejudice (misogyny and homophobia runs roughshod) SK had a first time director showing the world his deepest fantasy. SC, a "Quentin Tarantino" dithered with Rodriguez low-budget horror show. If this is Frank Miller's deepest fantasy, then I want to be warned if he's in the state.

All you defenders, you defend this mess. This is one man's opinion. It is too bad I didn't see this at the press screening, I might have been able to warn others.

Sin City is not better than Sky Captain. SK has all kinds of faults. But it is not ever going to be as bad (or faux hip) as this.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow (2004)

Boys -- 1, Girls -- Not so much

[14 September 2004]

I caught this one last night at a sneak. The audience, probably 80% male, seemed transfixed most of the time. As well they should be.

After the film the guys I spoke with (acquaintances as well as friends) all said the same thing, they loved it. And just as consistently the women I spoke with only sort of enjoyed it. The lone exception was a lady in her late 60's. And I think she enjoyed it more because she loved the era the film was set in.

As to why I think the women didn't like it I believe it is the post-feminist female lead. Polly Parker (Gwyneth Paltrow) is one of those uses her feminine wiles to get what she wants, and will do anything (including lying and hiding vital information from her "partner") to get her story. She isn't someone I'd like to know, and I cannot think most women born into the feminist era are going to find her to be someone they want to be.

Jude Law's Sky Captain, on the other hand, is a near saint in comparison. He seems to still have a thing for Polly, though it is difficult to see why.

He also seems to carry a torch for Frankie (Angelina Jolie). But it is his obvious devotion to Dex Dearborn - his second in command played with barely contained energy by Giovanni Ribisi that shows his nobility. He will obviously do anything for his friend.

I am sorry to say I doubt this film will do very well with women. Us guys might see it a couple - three times but we'll be hard-pressed to get the women in our lives to see it more than once.

Too bad, cause it's a rush.

The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)

Effects do not make this one special, nor human

[9 June 2004]

It is amazing how jaded most of us are regarding special effects these days. I mean, here we have a movie set on multiple worlds, with civilization ending special effects, fierce battles, weird "seers" with radioactive blood, fights with weapons, with folks that seem to slide through time, and it is all for not.

I want to say that I enjoy Mr. Diesel. He is way better at this sort of stuff than most of the competition. And the germ of the seed of the idea of this film isn't bad: There is NO one true religion. Those that push this belief are self-serving tyrants and monsters.

But characterization, a less-than-strong-suit of Pitch Black (this film's predecessor) is basically tossed out here in favor of slap-dash introductions and interesting characters who are never explained or flushed out. Many folks are just cannon fodder (or in one case head-exploding-into-flames fodder).

It is no wonder that most of the stronger actors here have a "this is only a paycheck" or "is this take good enough?" look in their eyes. Linus Roache has little to do, and looks positively unconvinced his part isn't going to wind up on the cutting-room floor. Dame Judy Dench looks bemused as she counts here profits since she generally plays all her scenes in front of a green screen. Karl Urban and Thandie Newton are by turns stoic and scene chewing. Fine actors both, here they embarrass themselves.

And the weaker actors (Alexa Davalos and Colm Feore come to mind) made me want to scream: "Millions of out-of-work actors and THIS is the best they can do?

Anyone who's seen the original knows the score was: an entire ship-full in, 3 out. This time the only person left standing (sitting actually) is Riddick. And despite my enjoyment of Mr. Diesel, I find that a hollow victory.

The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

I saw The Day after Tomorrow

[26 May 2004]

And was it BAD! --- Spoilers

This flick is the one I'd nominate to get the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment. The only thing good about it was its politics. It is against Big Oil, The Bush White House (though most of the vitriol is aimed at Cheney), US immigration policy and US treatment of "3rd World" countries.

The special effects are cool, but you've seen most of the really good ones in the preview. The "family" at the center of the flick is Dennis Quaid being earnest and unbelievable as a paleo-climatologist who has abandoned his wife and son in pursuit of his career. Sela Ward is his long-suffering wife who is a nurse in a large hospital. This woman cries so often I stopped caring and started laughing. Jake Gyllenhaal (of Donnie Darko fame) is too long in the tooth to play a high school boy suffering through his first crush and the end of the world.

Moments of Really Bad Cinema present: The Day after Tomorrow: Fahrenheit Minus 9/11!

Listen for the sounds of clanging testicles as Quaid and his two male friends declare: "I'm going out into this world-ending snow storm because I've got more testosterone than brains." "Wait Jack! I too have more testosterone than brains, I'm coming with you." "Listen you to knuckleheads, I too have gallons of testosterone but I'm the only one who can find my ass with both hands and a road map, so I'm coming too!" This "road map" (actually an "advanced GPS" that looked like a gameboy), which is used for dramatic effect in the last few minutes seems unable to tell them when they're ON TOP of a glass roofed structure (Which one of them falls through, of course).

You've got "Don't worry about me, I'll just sit here alone, in the dark, with this dying child because I am just so dang nice!" You also have a band of folks who are safe, until they get it through their soon to be frozen skulls that they know better than the leading scientist on the case. Their frozen bodies litter the way for Dad as he tries getting into the oft-destroyed NYC.

Poor Ian Holm seems to be there only as a Noble Victim of this grand special effect, I mean storm. By the end of this flick, I felt sorry for just about everybody involved. Then I remembered they probably read the script and thought: ChaCHING! Payday$.

If you're into special effects with a ham-fisted script and dopey performances, than this is your movie. If you'd rather have a thought-provoking end-o-the-world flick, check out Donnie Darko: The Director's Cut.

Latter Days (2003)

So fine, straight guys love it!

[7 May 2004]

I am gay. My friend Ernie is straight. Not questioning. Not bi-curious. Straight. He's probably not entirely your average straight guy. I'm his best friend. He is super cool

So when I jokingly asked him to go to Latter Days I was only mildly surprised that he said he'd go. I warned I thought it was going to be a silly comedy about a gay guy trying to win a bet with his friends about seducing a Mormon Elder.

Boy was I wrong. Sure, it starts out joke-y and silly; with as little depth as the gay character Christian initially lives his life in. He and the other servers at Lila's (who's owner is played with sterling aplomb by Jacqueline Bisset) live and lust in LA. They go out all the time and seem to spend as much time tanning as working.

The four Mormon Elders that move in change everything. Suddenly a bet regarding Christian's formidable seduction skill. Almost immediately the tone subtly shifts. The jokes are gone. Not that the film isn't funny, but the laughter is suddenly more character driven. And wonder of wonders, a bit of actual drama finds its way in.

Like any movie of its type, there are always roadblocks set before the young lovers. But where many films use sudden inexplicable actions by either the principals or some support character to push things along, here we have a logical plot that plays out without too many crushing coincidences (let us face it, romantic films always run on coincidence -- Serendipity anyone?).

I will tell you I was blown away. This film has moments of such aching beauty that even my friend Ernie was obviously moved. It is a very fine gay film that touches and makes universal the desire to find love that gay folks have.

A point I'd like to include. I know Mormons are for the most part pretty nice folks. I also know they are hated pretty badly and feared by many. But even I am afraid of anybody, and the boards for this movie are full of ugly quotes from such folk, who make emotional or physical or spiritual threat to anyone based on their belief system. "I'm not against you, buy you're going to die and go to hell because you refuse to change this ugly thing about yourself." Is, to me, just as vile as "I hate you and I am going to kill you for being different." And anyone who says those two statements are different in any real way is myopic to the extreme.

Quibbles about the film: The crying jags of several characters sound forced or over-the-top. The sympathetic sister of Elder Davis is shown near the start of the film, and then completely disappears. Where is she when her brother is suffering?

There are many fine performances, even among the folks who play the more stock characters. Mary Kay Place, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (3rd Rock form the Sun) and Erik Palladino (ER) all do a fine job with minimal screen-time.

The leads, which so many complain are not gay in real life, do a wonderful job portraying what Ernie says are `average guys' who are gay; in other words, not flamers or such. Mind you, Christian's clothes are either sprayed on, nearly see through or just plane stylin'. But he looks more like a metrosexual than an actual gay guy. This is not a bad thing. Self-loathing (kept to the minimum here) and self-destructive behavior are not the order of the day.

And Christian's metamorphosis is believable enough. The mid-coital conversation he has while a guy attempts to distract him is so funny you'll forget two guys are having sex in front of your very eyes.

If you are looking for War and Peace, or Porky's, or even Parting Glances you're going to be disappointed. But for the kind of movie it is, a warm-hearted an deeply dramatic romantic comedy, it is a delight. Just ask Ernie.

Ella Enchanted (2004)

Princess Bride Redux (with singing and dancing)

[8 April 2004]

I have watched The Princess Bride better than 300 times. It was my nightly salve/bedtime story when I was recovering from an injury. I am so well know, in its behalf, that I had six copies of the VHS (gifts from loving friends) and I have the Deluxe DVD too.

So I was hoping only for a minor romp when I signed up to see this in free preview last evening. Was I surprised. My favorite film was given several nods by this entertaining little film. Shrek was given a few nods, as were a dozen or so fun movies over the last few decades. While the odd "ah-hah" of recognition was fun, it never distracted from the flow of the plot.

Basically we have Ella, a young lady with a terrible secret. She was "gifted" with obedience. Sounds bad. It gets worse. Especially when she gets evil step-mother (Joanna Lumley) and two evil step-sisters. The elder of the two, Hattie, is not only aware how she can use Ella's gifts; but is the President of the Prince Charmont (Hugh Dancy) fan club.

There is a sizable plot for a children's film. And innuendo that will fly right over their heads. They'll laugh at the fart jokes, you'll love the reparte/romanticism.

I always have quibbles. Two here: Vivica A. Fox is not an actress. She is not an actress here either. The other is that Hugh Dancy (he of the Prince Charming looks and skin that is almost unnaturally photographable) is neither a singer, nor a dancer. Only a problem because he is in the finale "sining" and "dancing". He is a fine actor, he should not try out for Chicago.

Enjoy!

Hellboy (2004)

Wow, THAT was refreshing!

[2 April 2004]

From the opening gambit to the faultless and romantic close this is one amazing movie. If I did the ol' it's sort of like these two movies I'd vote for Raiders of the Lost Ark and Ghostbusters. Irreverent, silly and just plain child-like at times, the director sucks you into the story (I have never read the comic books so I have no comment about the faithfulness to the source) and he never lets go.

More, and more clearly presented plot than you'd find in half a dozen other comic-to-screen flicks. It is a testament to how stuff like this works best with great performances.

John Hurt is unrecognizable as Professor Bruttenholm (the older). David Hyde Pierce gives voice (while Doug Jones give form) to Abe Sapien and Selma Blair (whose charms have always eluded me) is appropriately world-weary and flawed.

But it is Ron Perlman's Hellboy that grounds the picture. He's a giant child in the body of a huge daemon. That he's surprised when someone helps him, that he takes relationship tips from a 9-year-old, that he is a contradiction and unsettled, and all through a boat-load of makeup and prosthetics -- amazing.

If I have a quibble, and I usually do, it is that the baddies don't get enough screen time. Not the creatures, the villains. There seems to be so much going on in Karl Roden's performance, but it is light and heat with nothing to stand upon.

Go for the laughs. Go for the special effects. Go for the camp factor. Stay and enjoy the human drama. Be blown away by the geek romance.

Great film.

The Dreamers (2003)

Bare-Toe-Lew-Chi!

[20 February 2004]

This movie is one of those classic Art House flicks with lots of skin and just enough subtext to be considered Art. As is sometimes the case, Bertolucci seems to be more interested in giving you JUST ENOUGH information/titillation to keep you seated.

I personally found Mr. Pitt's characterization to be oddly stifled. I also think he did an amazing job with what he was given (precious little).

The other two leads were by turns bad and worse. And to top it all off our Leading Lady's breasts where so odd looking and perverted (probably by surgery) and since she doesn't get to hide her secret shame... It gets pretty surreal.

A friend who went with me to see it, and who really didn't like the film very much, asked me about the parents' reaction to their discovery late in the film. "Why would they do that?"

I told him that my take was they were not parents. The father was a child and the mother was too soft, for her children, her husband, or her own good. The kids never had any limits.

And I must admit that the movie was too much about urinating. Folks urinate on and into all manner of things that cause us Calvinist Americans to cringe.

SPOILER

But the DÉNOUEMENT for me occurred when Theo is strangling Matt, simultaneously trying to stop Matt from telling him the truth about himself and hump Matt at the same time. The sad, stupid thing is Matt is right about Theo, and Isabelle. Theo needs to get down with the obviously interested (and bisexual) Matt. Theo also needs to stop pretending to be a communist when he obviously isn't one. And Isabelle needs to get the heck out her brother's bed.

They miss the points offered and are most likely dead by the end of the film.

The points Bertolucci is trying to make with using classic film scenes inter-cut with his own work are lost on me. The flashes are short-lived and in truth only illuminate the less hypnotic film created here. To a one, every old film dazzles and singes the mind and eye. Bertolucci may be trying to say that the late '60's were ugly and bereft of magic. I honestly don't understand why he'd stick us in one of the shabbiest apartments in Paris.

Still, I love many things here. I love the faster-than-usual-for-him pace of the film. I love Michael Pitt's performance. I love many of the set pieces.

And it is, after all, Bare-Toe-Lew-Chi!

The Girl Next Door (2004)

Quick, hide in my armpit!

[12 February 2004]

Saw this one last night. Free flick. More than worth the price of waiting in line for passes, then waiting in line for over an hour to get in.

I must admit I hate stuff like Chasing Liberty and the "PG" ilk. They're lame and have absolutely no edge. I love edge. This movie has so much edge it almost cuts you in half.

I am amazed nobody's mentioned the funniest early scene in the movie. After Our Hero finds out his new girl is a porn star, he starts hallucinating. He imagines she's doing his parents! This was so funny/sick that my friend who went with me hid in my armpit, his hands not quite covering his eyes. The entire audience screamed, then laughed, then screamed, and then laughed again.

This happened again later. Most of the test audience I saw this with enjoyed it. No, it isn't for prudes. No, it isn't for folks who are turned off by having thriller aspects in their comedies. And most especially it can be a bit too homophobic and racist. But when the curtain comes down I was happy to see how it was resolved.

Warning: Contains men coercing sex from a teen-age boy (unresolved), drugging same said teen by same said man, "lesbian" make-out scene, a section of the film where Our Hero is stripped down in public and forced to run down the street, one character watches porn constantly, threatening behavior, phallic object is carried around by Our Hero, much simulated making out.

Undersea Kingdom (1936)

More Undersea Silliness

[2 February 2004]

I found the entire serial on two DVDs for the bargain-price of $5 a piece. I honestly only got the first six because the guy was, well, undressed except for a cape and a helmet and these really cool boots. Otherwise he looked like he was in his underwear.

I really loved the over the top acting and the, for then, cool special effects. That the producers seemed to enjoy finding the slimmest excuse to put Our Hero into cheek revealing outfits and at one point literally strapping him spread-eagle to a moving "car" smacks of almost unbelievable camp. That this stuff passed muster during The Code is even more amazing.

As to weather the cliffhangers cheat; OK they cheat. But in a way I sort of enjoy the original cliffhanger version. Crash gets blown up, dropped down an elevator shaft, smashed into a wooden door (with the aforementioned "car"), dropped from great heights and others too numerous to mention.

I don't love that his "sidekick" is either a young boy who worships him and that he seems a bit too attached to (witness his reaction when Billy falls down a facing). His other "sidekick" is an enemy he saves, only to have the poor sap pine for Our Hero until he is killed, just to assure Crash's engagement to The Girl.

This movie is definitely a repeat offender. But it is fun nonetheless. Invite your friends over and have a drinking party where everyone takes a belt whenever Crash shows his ass. You'll be plowed before the night is out.

Bad, silly, obvious. But not nearly as crappy as Bad Boys 2.

I give this one a Thumbs Up!

Laurel Canyon (2002)

Well Enough

[29 December 2003]

I really enjoy reading other folks reviews of films I have seen. It is interesting to see how personal perspective is, well, personal.

I have been a paid critic in the past and have often explained to folks that opinions are just that, opinion. So I will endeavor to explain my case for this fine film.

This is a story of a journey. It is not the journey the characters think they're taking. It is the odd place they go on their way to what they thought they wanted. In that way, it is a lot like life.

You have the fish out of water aspect. A young couple wonders into his mother's life. A life he has never appreciated or enjoyed. His girlfriend, on the other hand, seems primed for the hedonism she encounters.

The mother (played to amazing life by Frances McDormand) is a record producer with a successful business life and a spotty personal one. She's in the midst of recording a record when her son descends. But it is the young man who fronts the group she's producing that has both her and her son's girlfriend in a lather.

There are emotional affairs flying about. There is moral condescension from characters who've been less than honorable.

On top of a good to great cast of principal actors, there's the soundtrack of flat-out great music.

Well directed, admirably cast, with an ambiguous and thoughtful script, plus enough sexual tension to fuel a score of teen comedies. Great flick. Bring your moral compass, and your ears.

The Adjuster (1991)

Adjusting to The Adjuster

[17 December 2003]

I am writing primarily because Mike seemed to be unclear about some of the plot points in the film. As to the chance encounter between the adjuster's wife and the film-maker's spouse; The "bum" who the spouse debases herself with is, in fact, her husband dress as a bum.

The wife of the adjuster gives the censored pornography to her sister. Her sister derives some peace from watching it. Why she feels this way is never explained.

And now here is my review of this wonderful, if less-than-transparent film.

I had already seen 1989's Speaking Parts and enjoyed it enough to see this film upon its release. The way Atom makes pictures; (with much more said in silences or physical and psychological violence than is often imparted in dialogue) seems to have been set early. They have an almost painful to watch edge to them. And, like challenging art, is often difficult to fully realize upon a first viewing.

This is also not my favorite film by this director. I love many aspects of this film. And I especially enjoy the heightened sense that reality is about to splinter that this film expresses so well. But my favorite is still Exotica. The Sweet Hereafter is too Hollywood and just not as devastating. But The Adjuster has some of the best stick-in-your-mind images. It is impenetrable in spots. It refuses to give you all the answers.

It has a "happy" ending if you can call avoiding death "happy." But most of all it gives you entrée into a world you'd never see without this engraved invitation.

No, this film is not for everyone. I am not going to bash folks who don't get it/like it. It is their prerogative. But for folks like me, folks who love Amadovar, Fellini and some of the other great filmmakers who show us the seamier side of life, then this is a very good, if not quite great film.

Sports Night (1998– )

Wow! A smart comedy with tons of wit!

[1 December 2003]

At the risk of gushing, I just have to say I loved this little series "that could." I initially caught the show because it had gotten favorable reviews. Some guy I'd never heard of (Aaron Sorkin) was the creator.

The main reason I checked it out was that it starred Josh Charles, an actor who I'd been watching ever since he played Iggy in John Waters' "Hairspray" (at the ripe old age of 16). Anyone who loves Really BAD Cinema remembers Mr. Charles in Threesome with those winning thesbians Steven Baldwin and the pre-anorexic Laura Flynn Boyle. Peter Krause had been on "Cybil" but really takes off here.

I found the casting of the ensemble (with the anchoring force of Robert Guillaume) to be THE great '90's comedic cast. Friends? Not even close.

It is a great sadness that this fine cast and crew only wrung two seasons out of the network. It is equally sad that they never got the chance to be repeated (since the network decided the show was a bad sweeps risk, thereby removing 4 months of the run from each year). Though I understand Comedy Central has shown repeats of the show. Ah, cable. What an odd place that must be.

Saddest of all, only Krause has followed this up truly great work. (Sorkin had a fine season or so with The West Wing but self-destructed with drug abuse and is now off of that show.) Watching Felicity Huffman flopping about the stage on "Frasier" highlights perfectly how the mighty have fallen. Of course, anyone married to William H. Macy is to be envied. (This review was obviously done before Desperate Housewives, a show I no longer watch as it has lost its way.)

Lastly, let me add; if you were a fan of the show, buy it. If you were one of those who didn't watch because you thought Arli$$ had already done the sports lampoon better and with fewer network restrictions, buy it. Watch it. You won't be sorry.

This is an amazing show that deserves your attention.

The Last Samurai (2003)

Despite Cruise, Samurai Rules

[21 November 2003]

Having been subjected to the stupidity that is Master and Commander, where Russell Crowe basically does his usual thing against a mean-spirited and angry background. I thought, not another story of White makes Right. Yuck!

So, I attended a screener of this film with much trepidation. Let's face it; the old (not to mention VERY tired) device of having a white guy out "native" the natives hasn't been interesting for a couple decades. That Cruise's character is hired by a Japanese high government official to teach the Japanese Army to fight "Western" seemed a warning sign. But all the flashbacks and his obvious hatred for his former commanding officer seem to be telling the audience that this guy isn't some gung-ho soldier.

The movie, which really doesn't get going until Cruise is captured by the titular character and forced to spend a winter recuperating, is a bit overlong at 2 1/2 hours. It also has a strange editing choice that occurs at the top of the third act where Cruise kills several men in a beautifully shot and cut sequence that is then repeated, without giving any new information, in a blue tint. It is confusing to many and takes the viewer out of the action.

Deeply violent, as war movies should be, there is a muted love interest, thankfully never realized during the film. It is Cruise's slack-mouthed "lust" gaze (the same look he's used since Risky Business) in addition to many of his facial ticks and use of overly loud emoting all reminded this viewer we are watching Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise as a racecar driver. Tom Cruise as a motivational speaker. Tom Cruise as a war vet. Tom Cruise as a samurai. It is all the same.

As a word of extreme praise, I want to commend the casting folks for putting Ken Watanabe to such fine use. He is an ACTOR of extreme gifts. As the Last Samurai, his interactions with Cruise are the only times Tom actually seems to bother trying to act. It must have been a bit intimidating being in the presence of such a fine artisan.

The deeply jaundiced view of people in power is amazing considering the Don't Gripe, Don't Protest view so common here in the states. And because it is a movie, satisfaction on all fronts is only 2 1/2 hours away.

Spectacular acting (though none of it by Cruise), imaginative casting, over-the-top violence and grace, The Last Samurai is a spectacle of the first order. Well worth your time and consideration.

All That Jazz (1979)

Casual Sex, Public Humiliation, Soul-cleaning, and they dance!

[19 August 2003]

I remember the first time I saw this flick. I was with my then-girlfriend and her husband (I know, I know). I was the once and future homosexual who was brought to the flick because actual gay characters are involved. Sure, they're smarmy and silly and used for comedic effect. But heck, this was 1979 and even stilted choreography involving two mostly naked men was pretty amazing stuff to my young eyes.

And there were women who represented as lesbians. And there were beautiful costumes and amazing dance numbers, some featuring the very uncovered loveliness of Sandahl Burgman (Red Sonya). It was one of the few times back then I understood the concept of buying and owning a copy of a movie. I never wanted to be without Joe Gideon (a.k.a. Bob Fosse, a.k.a. Roy Scheider). I wanted to forever be a witness to the greatness that was and is Ann Reinking. I wanted to marvel at the strange thing that is Jessica Lange's nose (Fosse wisely does not hide this anomaly). I wanted to catch Ben Vereen at the very apex of his glory. I even wanted to imbed Deborah Geffner's heartbreakingly beautiful performance, as one of Joe's many girls, deep into my mind. I'd name Geffner's character's name here, but Joe wouldn't remember it, so I won't.

No, I doubt even nearly 25 years later that Middle America is probably going to "get" this film.

Is it only "art"? Is it ever.

Is it messy and self-flagellating? Yes it is!

Does it have nothing better to say for itself than: "This is how I see myself and my struggle to be if not a good man at least a great artist." Would you like Miles Davis as a husband? Not unless you're a saint you wouldn't. Would you like Gideon/Fosse as a father/husband/lover? Eh, no. But is this a great movie about a man who foretold his own end eight years early? You betcha!

Now go on and see the movie already!