It can't be said that this affectionate remake wasn't faithful to the original vision. Every incredible idea from the 1995 film was included: The milky flakes that float off The Major's newborn body; her balletic backward free-fall into the the neon metropolis; her escape into the solace of the sea; the zillion-fingered typist; and who could forget the briefcases that break open beautifully to reveal machine guns? Even the terrible ideas were included, such as the god-awful hairstyles of Han and The Major, and that lame Spider Tank. Not one to rest on the laurels of the original, the re-makers of Ghost In The Shell took ideas from the source and supercharged them. The opening action scene became far richer in ideas and philosophical scope than the 1995 version - a spectacular set-piece that featured a mutiny of abominable geisha. The Major's roughly approximated CZ100 handgun from '95 was re-imagined as an elegant therm-optic Glock comprised of white and transparent pieces. Batou's generic wedge shaped coupe from the anime was brought to life in the remake as a Mad Max-ed-out Lotus Espirit that makes beautiful noise as it drifts around the concrete jungle (look closely for the machine guns implanted inside the doors as they swing open). The film's most triumphant upgrade is the reinvention of Section-9 chief, Aramaki. The anime Aramaki was your typical highly-strung old boss who talks too much. He was replaced and rebooted by the laconic and iconic 'Beat' Takeshi Kitano - the DeNiro of Japanese cinema . The old fox spoke only in Japanese. The Major disobeys her section chief and from that moment on we begin to piece together an idea of what it is to be human. The Major's only human part of her body is her brain. So is she as human as the rest of us? We know that memories are unreliable or implanted (Blade Runner). The original Ghost In The Shell posited that humans are defined by our ability to reproduce, die, and spawn diversified offspring. Well, any organism can do that. This new film concludes that we are human because of the things that we do. We see the reinvented Batou bring bones to stray dogs he has adopted, then he asks The Major to feed his friends because he doesn't want to frighten them with his new robot eyes. We watch as a couple are divided and restrained on two separate beds, their fingertips touch before they are taken away to be harvested. We watch The Major pay money to gingerly touch the face of a prostitute. She asks, "Are you real? ...what does it feel like?" We see a lonely and forlorn woman who may have been The Major's mother plead to her, "You will come back to visit?". The Major recognizes her own deep loneliness until she finds another kindred Spirit in a prototype that came before her - Kuze . He encourages her to give up the meds her handlers have prescribed and actually FEEL things - no matter how raw. None of these ideas were even whispered in the '95 version of Ghost In The Shell. Nevertheless, the most original theme in 2017 remake was that of consent. Throughout the film The Major would give her consent to have something done to her, only to find out that her consent was never required, a token gesture, that allowed her the perception that she has rights like everyone else. This is a question too large to be answered in the 107 minutes of this film.
Reviews
12 Reviews
The Dark Knight Rises
(2012)
Dark Bile Rises
22 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
I should not have to concentrate this hard to follow a superhero film. If I feel tangled up in this plot, then how the hell would a ten-year old navigate this sticky mess? As Maude Flanders once said, "Think of the children... will somebody please, think of the children!" Don't get me wrong, I love unpicking my way through a rich tapestry of plot lines from the likes of Oliver Stone; but I demand simpler stories from a caped crusader.
The misdemeanours in screen writing didn't end there. I want to know the name of the latte-sipping executive who decided that this film needed an awkwardly unnecessary, tacked-on love tryst between Miranda and Bruce Wayne. It felt appended to the script by hands made grubby from handling too much money.
Next on the agenda – and I do have one - is Catwoman. I was expecting to the usual mixed emotions when facing a comic chick in skin-tights: disgust with Hollywood for trying to manipulate my hormones; followed closely by disgust with myself because it works so effectively. Instead I was pleasantly surprised by Anne Hathaway. The lady displayed the finesse of a thespian as she expertly shifted gear from kow-towed housemaid to the smartest character on set. And yes, her booty was fine in latex. However, Maggie Gyllenhaal looked equally fine lawyered-up in Dark Knight four years ago. So there.
There were less-than fortunate players wasting their talent in Dark Bile Rises. Hey Tom Hardy, good luck following up on Heath Ledger's scene-stealing show-stopping swan-song as Batman's last villain. It must be especially frustrating for you seeing as you have to wear a device that covers the lower half of your face - robbing you of any cool snarky expressions appropriate to a super-villain. I can hear Heath laughing diabolically from his grave.
Here is interesting sidenote for geeks like me: After Quantum of Solace, Dark Knight Rises marks the second time an eco-crusader is revealed to be a terrorist bent on ruining rather than saving the world. mmm
The misdemeanours in screen writing didn't end there. I want to know the name of the latte-sipping executive who decided that this film needed an awkwardly unnecessary, tacked-on love tryst between Miranda and Bruce Wayne. It felt appended to the script by hands made grubby from handling too much money.
Next on the agenda – and I do have one - is Catwoman. I was expecting to the usual mixed emotions when facing a comic chick in skin-tights: disgust with Hollywood for trying to manipulate my hormones; followed closely by disgust with myself because it works so effectively. Instead I was pleasantly surprised by Anne Hathaway. The lady displayed the finesse of a thespian as she expertly shifted gear from kow-towed housemaid to the smartest character on set. And yes, her booty was fine in latex. However, Maggie Gyllenhaal looked equally fine lawyered-up in Dark Knight four years ago. So there.
There were less-than fortunate players wasting their talent in Dark Bile Rises. Hey Tom Hardy, good luck following up on Heath Ledger's scene-stealing show-stopping swan-song as Batman's last villain. It must be especially frustrating for you seeing as you have to wear a device that covers the lower half of your face - robbing you of any cool snarky expressions appropriate to a super-villain. I can hear Heath laughing diabolically from his grave.
Here is interesting sidenote for geeks like me: After Quantum of Solace, Dark Knight Rises marks the second time an eco-crusader is revealed to be a terrorist bent on ruining rather than saving the world. mmm
The Amazing Spider-Man
(2012)
There are 3 very good reasons to see The Amazing Spiderman.
9 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
There are three very good reasons to see this film:
One...The Amazing Spiderman is the most wonderfully shot film in the franchise because the cinematographer may have actually opened up a Spiderman comic at one time. Previous entries ignored the balletic beauty of Spiderman's poses in the comic books. Film makers need to recognise that we love Superheros because they look damn cool: Iron Man looks like Greek God; Batman looks like a brooding gargoyle; and Spidey looks like a sleek red and blue Mikhail Baryshnikov.
Two...The Amazing Spiderman is the greatest superhero script ever scribed. Like a celluloid guerrilla, it captures our hearts and minds rather than rely solely upon the brute force of special effects and snarky one-liners. It contains the most succinct piece of drama I have ever seen in which Peter Parker, in one deft move, reveals both his heart and his alter ego to the object of his desire.
Three The love story. Yes, I said it. Ordinarily, my cynicism for cinematic calf-love knows no deeper depths. However, the chemistry between Peter and Gwen dredged up my own sickly sweet memories of young love, so much so, I was happily disgusted with myself.
There are many more than three reasons to see The Amazing Spider Man. You will find out the rest.
One...The Amazing Spiderman is the most wonderfully shot film in the franchise because the cinematographer may have actually opened up a Spiderman comic at one time. Previous entries ignored the balletic beauty of Spiderman's poses in the comic books. Film makers need to recognise that we love Superheros because they look damn cool: Iron Man looks like Greek God; Batman looks like a brooding gargoyle; and Spidey looks like a sleek red and blue Mikhail Baryshnikov.
Two...The Amazing Spiderman is the greatest superhero script ever scribed. Like a celluloid guerrilla, it captures our hearts and minds rather than rely solely upon the brute force of special effects and snarky one-liners. It contains the most succinct piece of drama I have ever seen in which Peter Parker, in one deft move, reveals both his heart and his alter ego to the object of his desire.
Three The love story. Yes, I said it. Ordinarily, my cynicism for cinematic calf-love knows no deeper depths. However, the chemistry between Peter and Gwen dredged up my own sickly sweet memories of young love, so much so, I was happily disgusted with myself.
There are many more than three reasons to see The Amazing Spider Man. You will find out the rest.
Bodyguards and Assassins
(2009)
A fun, deeply moving, and brilliantly acted piece of propaganda
9 July 2012
Warning: Spoilers
The driving theme of this film is Dr Sun's importance to China. He is the guy who is credited with liberating the Chinese from the tyranny of the Empress Dowager Cixi. She is the shadowy figure we see at the beginning of this film (and at the end of another great Chinese film, Warlords). Dr Sun's idea was to make China a free, prosperous, and powerful nation. Well, I guess two out of three ain't bad. Nevertheless, he is considered the "Father of The Nation", and you will see his portrait proudly displayed today at China's big political meetings.
Bodyguards and Assassins was a fun, deeply moving, and brilliantly acted piece of propaganda. I enjoyed it without English subtitles. I wonder if I would have enjoyed it less or more if I knew what the characters were saying? I was fortunate enough to watch this film with my Chinese friend who reads widely on this subject. He survived the horrors of the Chinese Cultural Revolution and left for Australia shortly after the Tiananmen Square massacre. His healthy cynicism for his home country was on full display as we watched Bodyguards. Every time a character died for Sun, a caption popped up stating the date of birth and death of said character. My Chinese friend would grin. "These are not even real people", he would say. Indeed, the whole story is just another wonderful example of "alternative history" - a genre played with a deft hand by dictatorships everywhere. Bodyguards lovingly polishes the mythology of its biggest political icon outside of Mao. Although, my Chinese friend cautioned, "Sun wasn't exactly a saint. He was supported by the criminal underworld". Nevertheless, the film takes great pains to deliver the idea that Sun's revolution is worth the sacrifice of many lives.
The concept of many people sacrificing themselves for one hero will grate on our Western sensibilities. Our Jesus-archetype is the exact opposite. We tend to prefer the idea of one person sacrificing himself for many. This would explain why many Western critics find this film a little over the top.
If you watch this film for nothing else, then watch it for actor Wang Quexi's breathtaking arc-of-character. It is a credit to the man's skill that I could feel what he feels without understanding Mandarin. For this performance, Wang became the first mainland Chinese to win Best Actor at the Hong Kong Film Critics Awards.
Bodyguards and Assassins was a fun, deeply moving, and brilliantly acted piece of propaganda. I enjoyed it without English subtitles. I wonder if I would have enjoyed it less or more if I knew what the characters were saying? I was fortunate enough to watch this film with my Chinese friend who reads widely on this subject. He survived the horrors of the Chinese Cultural Revolution and left for Australia shortly after the Tiananmen Square massacre. His healthy cynicism for his home country was on full display as we watched Bodyguards. Every time a character died for Sun, a caption popped up stating the date of birth and death of said character. My Chinese friend would grin. "These are not even real people", he would say. Indeed, the whole story is just another wonderful example of "alternative history" - a genre played with a deft hand by dictatorships everywhere. Bodyguards lovingly polishes the mythology of its biggest political icon outside of Mao. Although, my Chinese friend cautioned, "Sun wasn't exactly a saint. He was supported by the criminal underworld". Nevertheless, the film takes great pains to deliver the idea that Sun's revolution is worth the sacrifice of many lives.
The concept of many people sacrificing themselves for one hero will grate on our Western sensibilities. Our Jesus-archetype is the exact opposite. We tend to prefer the idea of one person sacrificing himself for many. This would explain why many Western critics find this film a little over the top.
If you watch this film for nothing else, then watch it for actor Wang Quexi's breathtaking arc-of-character. It is a credit to the man's skill that I could feel what he feels without understanding Mandarin. For this performance, Wang became the first mainland Chinese to win Best Actor at the Hong Kong Film Critics Awards.
American Horror Story
(2011– )
Finally - genuine horror on the small screen
15 March 2012
Back in '81, Stephen King wrote dismissively that, "Horror has not fared particularly well on TV, if you except something like the six o'clock news..." At the time of writing, the only decent television horror with teeth was Twilight Zone and Kolchak - and even those were watered down in the name of American squeamishness. Three decades later, the closest we came to satiating our growling appetite for the macabre was Supernatural - a fun Hardy Boys adventure in urban mythology. Nevertheless, this horror connoisseur felt a tad short-changed when Sam and Dean Winchester stopped fighting Wendigos and Bloody Marys, and got religion.
Stephen King added a proviso to his comment: "...there's something optimistic in the fact that people can still, in spite of all the world's real horrors, be brought to the point of the scream by something that is patently impossible. It can be done by the writer or the director . . . if their hands are untied." Perhaps this is what happened when Murphy and Falchuk crafted American Horror Story. Drunk on the success of Glee and Nip/Tuck, their money-men must have written them a blank check for this courageous product.
From the very first episode of American Horror Story, the dam bursts and floods my TV screen with my favorite archetypes of horror. Without giving anything away, I can say that all my old dark friends have gathered in this fun-house. Seasoned horror geeks will roll each episode over their tongues like exquisite Belgian chocolate.
Something tells me that behind their slick and stylish red carpet personas, Murphy and Falchuk are died-in-wool horror geeks who were just as hungry for a good creep-show as the rest of us.
Stephen King added a proviso to his comment: "...there's something optimistic in the fact that people can still, in spite of all the world's real horrors, be brought to the point of the scream by something that is patently impossible. It can be done by the writer or the director . . . if their hands are untied." Perhaps this is what happened when Murphy and Falchuk crafted American Horror Story. Drunk on the success of Glee and Nip/Tuck, their money-men must have written them a blank check for this courageous product.
From the very first episode of American Horror Story, the dam bursts and floods my TV screen with my favorite archetypes of horror. Without giving anything away, I can say that all my old dark friends have gathered in this fun-house. Seasoned horror geeks will roll each episode over their tongues like exquisite Belgian chocolate.
Something tells me that behind their slick and stylish red carpet personas, Murphy and Falchuk are died-in-wool horror geeks who were just as hungry for a good creep-show as the rest of us.
Sherlock
(2010–2017)
a master-class in television drama
28 April 2011
In a dusty studio in 13th Century Italy, the infamous painter, Duccio produced some of the most famous paintings of The Madonna the world had laid its eyes upon. They were popular and prolific. They told a simple story that suited the political and religious climate of the times. In 2004, The Met in New York purchased one his Madonnas for $45 million.
Six centuries later, the devout catholic surrealist, Salvador Dali, took these well-worn images and added another dozen layers of meaning. His 'Madonna of Port Lligat' was not meant to be a replacement for Duccio. His Madonna was simply a more complex exploration of an icon for a more complex age. However, it can't be denied that today's gallery visitors linger a little longer at Dali than they do with Duccio. There's just more meat to the modern version.
This is the somewhat convoluted analogy I draw between the old Sherlock and the BBCTV upgrade of the icon.
There are many Sherlockian purists out there whose itchy fingers are ready on the trigger to shoot down the modernised Sherlock even before the opening credits. Lay down your guns for a moment and consider the following:
The 21st century Sherlock transforms the original's hazy deductions into clearly mapped intuitions that would be the envy of the best forensic scientists. The old Sherlock's meaningless platitudes have been rewritten by a deft hand into a script as sharp as a diamond with just as many facets. Sherlock's vague eccentricity is now properly defined as the behavior of a highly functioning sociopath - as it should be.
Yet after all this clarity, there is still mystery. Sherlock's reactions to people make you wonder about the shared past of the two characters. There are artifacts, props, and one-liners begging questions that perhaps will never be answered. Herein lies the spirit of the original mystique of the books.
The Sherlock mythology has evolved from a popular potboiler to a master-class in television drama. Those who crafted this work for our pleasure tip their hat respectfully to Conan-Doyle. They realise we simply want a more complex exploration of an icon for a more complex age. Looking forward to season two.
Six centuries later, the devout catholic surrealist, Salvador Dali, took these well-worn images and added another dozen layers of meaning. His 'Madonna of Port Lligat' was not meant to be a replacement for Duccio. His Madonna was simply a more complex exploration of an icon for a more complex age. However, it can't be denied that today's gallery visitors linger a little longer at Dali than they do with Duccio. There's just more meat to the modern version.
This is the somewhat convoluted analogy I draw between the old Sherlock and the BBCTV upgrade of the icon.
There are many Sherlockian purists out there whose itchy fingers are ready on the trigger to shoot down the modernised Sherlock even before the opening credits. Lay down your guns for a moment and consider the following:
The 21st century Sherlock transforms the original's hazy deductions into clearly mapped intuitions that would be the envy of the best forensic scientists. The old Sherlock's meaningless platitudes have been rewritten by a deft hand into a script as sharp as a diamond with just as many facets. Sherlock's vague eccentricity is now properly defined as the behavior of a highly functioning sociopath - as it should be.
Yet after all this clarity, there is still mystery. Sherlock's reactions to people make you wonder about the shared past of the two characters. There are artifacts, props, and one-liners begging questions that perhaps will never be answered. Herein lies the spirit of the original mystique of the books.
The Sherlock mythology has evolved from a popular potboiler to a master-class in television drama. Those who crafted this work for our pleasure tip their hat respectfully to Conan-Doyle. They realise we simply want a more complex exploration of an icon for a more complex age. Looking forward to season two.
V
(2009–2011)
a supercharged version of the old V
28 July 2010
I was nine years-old when we all sat with our eyes riveted to the old heavy CRT television set to watch the original V. My brother and I would reel back in horror at the aliens who pretended to be our friends, but meant to eat us all. The next day at school, we gossiped like old ladies about every morbid and tantalising cliffhanger. We Cold War kids would play out Vs paranoid themes in the school yard. During the Reagan era, we all believed the communists would invade at any time - so why not aliens? Most boys would play the blond-haired, blue-eyed, all-American lead character Mike Donovan. Not me. My hero was the anti-hero, Ham Tyler. He was the dark knight who took care of all the dirty work Donovon couldn't handle. The girls would vie over who gets to play the alien femme fatale, Diana. Her wanton fetish appeal delighted our pre-pubescent minds. There was even "a creepy alien/human relationship that clearly suggests - but doesn't show - inter-species sex" (from 'What Parents Need to Know' at commonsensemedia.org). What fun!
Twenty-seven years later, we've all grown up, got married, had kids. The communist bogeyman has been replaced by the terrorist specter; so we have a new reason to fear outsiders. My brother called me long distance to let me know he had downloaded the 2009 remake of our favourite childhood show - V. What we discovered was a supercharged version of the old series.
At the helm is Emmy-award winning director, Yves Simoneau, who has a lot more panache than the original auteur, Kenneth Johnson. Ken's last claim to television fame was the wasted TV opportunity, Bionic Woman.
The cinematography gets a shot in the arm as well. Stephen Jackson does very imaginative work with creative close-ups. Meanwhile the original cinematographer hasn't worked since Bingo and an episode of Baywatch.
The old V costumes were terrible in 1983 and they look even worse in retrospect. The tight and revealing spandex suits for the female aliens seemed to be designed by excited pubescent boys for excited pubescent boys. The shoulder pads - good god, the shoulder pads! The new V costumes won't make you cringe 27 years later. Leo-Award winning costume designer, Maya Mani, drapes the aliens in tasteful clothes that look like they are actually made by seamstresses with advanced technology.
The acting enjoys an upgrade as well. Elizabeth Mitchell takes the lead role after impressing the fans of Lost. The four acting schools that she attended certainly paid off. Her subtle body language cues and broad range of emotion look great in close up. She takes over the original lead played for fun by Marc 'The Beast Master' Singer. He and his director cousin, Bryan, have a firm grasp of popcorn entertainment. Marc will never win an Emmy, but he won our hearts in the original V as the 'do-gooder' hero.
I had wait through four episodes to see who would replace my beloved Ham Tyler as the dark knight. Tyler was played beautifully by the a-grade actor who became a b-grade titan, Michael Ironside. In the 2010 V, his role was replaced by Kyle Hobbes, portrayed by Charles Mesure. He is six years older, four inches taller, and way more buff than Tyler (Kyle's signature black t-shirts look painted on). Both Mesure and Ironside are matched in many ways. Both men produced, directed and wrote their own plays while topping their respective acting schools. Both have had to pay their dues slogging it out in exploitation stories way below their station. Both are armed with a steely gaze that guarantees they will be forever cast as the villain, or at least, the anti-hero.
The most important casting decision is the alien queen, Anna. Morena Baccarin took a cardboard cutout character and gave it flesh. When she was 24, she was one of the students on the PBS series American Masters which featured the Julliard School for the Performing Arts. Since then, her delicate portrayals have delighted us all. In this latest role, we see the fruition of her complex talent. Her character is one moment, a magnanimous regent, the next, a malevolent demon. The 1983 queen was called Diana. She was portrayed by Jane Badler, a former Miss America contestant whose resume contains so many soaps she should should open a shop. Even today, she is guest starring on the Australian soap, Neighbours, as a character called - guess what? - Diana. Jane Badler's alien queen was no more than a fun soapie villianess. She provided much titillation for our young minds and many of us are grateful for it - as the gatherings at Comic-Con suggest.
You will notice there are many die-hard fans of the 1983 V who insist the original is better. You will have to forgive these rabid purists as they are relying on fond memories of probably the most entertaining show running at the time. You youngsters out there won't remember, but the only decent show on back in '83 was Black Adder. Today, the bar is set much higher with shows such as Eastbound and Down, Modern Family, and Lost. The new generation of V watchers have a lot of good TV competing for their attention. The producers are well aware of this and have ramped up the quality of the new V accordingly.
Twenty-seven years later, we've all grown up, got married, had kids. The communist bogeyman has been replaced by the terrorist specter; so we have a new reason to fear outsiders. My brother called me long distance to let me know he had downloaded the 2009 remake of our favourite childhood show - V. What we discovered was a supercharged version of the old series.
At the helm is Emmy-award winning director, Yves Simoneau, who has a lot more panache than the original auteur, Kenneth Johnson. Ken's last claim to television fame was the wasted TV opportunity, Bionic Woman.
The cinematography gets a shot in the arm as well. Stephen Jackson does very imaginative work with creative close-ups. Meanwhile the original cinematographer hasn't worked since Bingo and an episode of Baywatch.
The old V costumes were terrible in 1983 and they look even worse in retrospect. The tight and revealing spandex suits for the female aliens seemed to be designed by excited pubescent boys for excited pubescent boys. The shoulder pads - good god, the shoulder pads! The new V costumes won't make you cringe 27 years later. Leo-Award winning costume designer, Maya Mani, drapes the aliens in tasteful clothes that look like they are actually made by seamstresses with advanced technology.
The acting enjoys an upgrade as well. Elizabeth Mitchell takes the lead role after impressing the fans of Lost. The four acting schools that she attended certainly paid off. Her subtle body language cues and broad range of emotion look great in close up. She takes over the original lead played for fun by Marc 'The Beast Master' Singer. He and his director cousin, Bryan, have a firm grasp of popcorn entertainment. Marc will never win an Emmy, but he won our hearts in the original V as the 'do-gooder' hero.
I had wait through four episodes to see who would replace my beloved Ham Tyler as the dark knight. Tyler was played beautifully by the a-grade actor who became a b-grade titan, Michael Ironside. In the 2010 V, his role was replaced by Kyle Hobbes, portrayed by Charles Mesure. He is six years older, four inches taller, and way more buff than Tyler (Kyle's signature black t-shirts look painted on). Both Mesure and Ironside are matched in many ways. Both men produced, directed and wrote their own plays while topping their respective acting schools. Both have had to pay their dues slogging it out in exploitation stories way below their station. Both are armed with a steely gaze that guarantees they will be forever cast as the villain, or at least, the anti-hero.
The most important casting decision is the alien queen, Anna. Morena Baccarin took a cardboard cutout character and gave it flesh. When she was 24, she was one of the students on the PBS series American Masters which featured the Julliard School for the Performing Arts. Since then, her delicate portrayals have delighted us all. In this latest role, we see the fruition of her complex talent. Her character is one moment, a magnanimous regent, the next, a malevolent demon. The 1983 queen was called Diana. She was portrayed by Jane Badler, a former Miss America contestant whose resume contains so many soaps she should should open a shop. Even today, she is guest starring on the Australian soap, Neighbours, as a character called - guess what? - Diana. Jane Badler's alien queen was no more than a fun soapie villianess. She provided much titillation for our young minds and many of us are grateful for it - as the gatherings at Comic-Con suggest.
You will notice there are many die-hard fans of the 1983 V who insist the original is better. You will have to forgive these rabid purists as they are relying on fond memories of probably the most entertaining show running at the time. You youngsters out there won't remember, but the only decent show on back in '83 was Black Adder. Today, the bar is set much higher with shows such as Eastbound and Down, Modern Family, and Lost. The new generation of V watchers have a lot of good TV competing for their attention. The producers are well aware of this and have ramped up the quality of the new V accordingly.
Sex and the City 2
(2010)
brandapalooza
1 July 2010
Warning: Spoilers
I have a challenge for all you faithful IMDb users. Who can count number of times Abu Dhabi is mentioned in Sex and The City 2. I tallied 642. See if anyone else can do better. I wonder how much the Emirates Tourism Board offered the filmmakers for each time this occurred? If you Google "Sex and The City 2" and cross-reference the term "product placement" you will find over a thousand results. It seems I am not the only one who thought I was watching a 2.5 hour infomercial. Before the movie had begun I'd already suffered a million commercials for the usual chick products: adverts for Chocolate when you're feeling ugly, and adverts for beauty products to fix up the damage done by the chocolate. However, when a movie fades in, I expect the advertising to stop. Brandchannel.com called SATC-2 a "brandapalooza". The sequel even beat the first movie's record of 94 brand placements.
When I wasn't counting product plugs, I was laughing at Samantha. Apologies to Kim Caterall as I was not laughing with you, but at you. You would think by time you are 52 years-old you would be over your daddy issues and realise frequent intimate encounters will never fill the emotional void. On two occasions we were subjected to watching this sad lady desperately trying to fill her void with some guy. As predicted, lazy Sam lets the man do all the work. It's always the ones who brag about it who are the worst at it.
The most hilarious part was watching Sam and her pals sing the feminist anthem "I Am Woman", and why the hell not? Helen Reddy had long ago sold out her song to Coors and Burger King for "a gigantic amount of money", in her words. I smiled while I pondered, "this is what forty years of sexual revolution has given women: the right to be a slave to overpriced fashion." The punchline of this joke is that they were singing "I Am Woman" in the United Arab Emirates - one of the most sexist countries in the world wherein women are commonly and legally abused. Sex And The City has a cute solution for Muslim women in the UAE: Just swathe yourself in Dior, sing bad karaoke, and everything'll be alright.
When I wasn't counting product plugs, I was laughing at Samantha. Apologies to Kim Caterall as I was not laughing with you, but at you. You would think by time you are 52 years-old you would be over your daddy issues and realise frequent intimate encounters will never fill the emotional void. On two occasions we were subjected to watching this sad lady desperately trying to fill her void with some guy. As predicted, lazy Sam lets the man do all the work. It's always the ones who brag about it who are the worst at it.
The most hilarious part was watching Sam and her pals sing the feminist anthem "I Am Woman", and why the hell not? Helen Reddy had long ago sold out her song to Coors and Burger King for "a gigantic amount of money", in her words. I smiled while I pondered, "this is what forty years of sexual revolution has given women: the right to be a slave to overpriced fashion." The punchline of this joke is that they were singing "I Am Woman" in the United Arab Emirates - one of the most sexist countries in the world wherein women are commonly and legally abused. Sex And The City has a cute solution for Muslim women in the UAE: Just swathe yourself in Dior, sing bad karaoke, and everything'll be alright.
A Nightmare on Elm Street
(2010)
The old Nancy would have slapped the new Nancy.
22 May 2010
I want it known that I am not the guy who goes around saying the original is always better, even if its not. I welcome reinterpretation. However the remakers of Nightmare On Elm Street completely fumbled the ball on this one. There are only two things you need to make a Freddy Krueger film: black humour and a cult-film finesse. Both were ignored by rock-video maker Samuel Bayer as he stumbled through the remake. Sammy boy had this lovely notion of exploring Krueger as a child abuser rather than a fun-loving boogeyman. Unfortunately for him, the horrors of child abuse have been mined to death by much more talented filmmakers - and there are many of them.
Poor Sam Bayer. Check out the pictures of him on this site. He's been hanging out with rock stars so much he thinks he is one. Maybe he should have spent a few months talking with the guy who created Freddy 26 years ago. Wes Craven is a quietly spoken gentleman who studied literature and psychology. He lives and breathes the horror genre. He built Freddy from the ground up with nothing but empty pockets and steel cojones. Wes would have counselled Sam to avoid taking himself so seriously.
Right from the opening titles you know this remake takes itself way too seriously. The new opening is a hauntingly beautiful montage of childhood mementos. However, "hauntingly beautiful" is not why we have sat down with our popcorn in this dark theatre. We have come to see our man, Freddy Krueger. The ORIGINAL opening shows us Freddy in his shadowed workshop, forging his clawed glove. We witness the beginning of an icon, the making of a myth. We are going to have a delightfully uneasy relationship with Mr Krueger over the course of six sequels. This is how you make a cult-film, people.
The remake's biggest stumbling block was the casting of Krueger. Robert Englund put so much of his unique dark self into this role that putting someone else in the role is like casting a loaded dice. No matter who else you choose, its going to come up snake eyes.
On the other hand, the role of Nancy should have been a no-brainer, But Sammy even got this wrong. Heather Langenkamp's Nancy was one of the many kick-ass women of 1980s pop films. She stood up to her idiot jock boyfriend, told off her drunk mom, rigged the house with booby traps, and ran headlong into Freddy during the climax. The old Nancy would have slapped the new Nancy. 2010 Nancy is just another miserable young female tripping over her own feet, waiting for a handsome vampire to save her.
Who the hell knows? Bayer's Elm Street might be a hit with the kids. It's full of morose shoe-gazing pill-popping youngsters that seem to be so popular with this generation. They might take a break from reading Twilight 50 and shuffle into the cinema to see more pasty-faced thin-lipped protagonists whine.
Poor Sam Bayer. Check out the pictures of him on this site. He's been hanging out with rock stars so much he thinks he is one. Maybe he should have spent a few months talking with the guy who created Freddy 26 years ago. Wes Craven is a quietly spoken gentleman who studied literature and psychology. He lives and breathes the horror genre. He built Freddy from the ground up with nothing but empty pockets and steel cojones. Wes would have counselled Sam to avoid taking himself so seriously.
Right from the opening titles you know this remake takes itself way too seriously. The new opening is a hauntingly beautiful montage of childhood mementos. However, "hauntingly beautiful" is not why we have sat down with our popcorn in this dark theatre. We have come to see our man, Freddy Krueger. The ORIGINAL opening shows us Freddy in his shadowed workshop, forging his clawed glove. We witness the beginning of an icon, the making of a myth. We are going to have a delightfully uneasy relationship with Mr Krueger over the course of six sequels. This is how you make a cult-film, people.
The remake's biggest stumbling block was the casting of Krueger. Robert Englund put so much of his unique dark self into this role that putting someone else in the role is like casting a loaded dice. No matter who else you choose, its going to come up snake eyes.
On the other hand, the role of Nancy should have been a no-brainer, But Sammy even got this wrong. Heather Langenkamp's Nancy was one of the many kick-ass women of 1980s pop films. She stood up to her idiot jock boyfriend, told off her drunk mom, rigged the house with booby traps, and ran headlong into Freddy during the climax. The old Nancy would have slapped the new Nancy. 2010 Nancy is just another miserable young female tripping over her own feet, waiting for a handsome vampire to save her.
Who the hell knows? Bayer's Elm Street might be a hit with the kids. It's full of morose shoe-gazing pill-popping youngsters that seem to be so popular with this generation. They might take a break from reading Twilight 50 and shuffle into the cinema to see more pasty-faced thin-lipped protagonists whine.
Law Abiding Citizen
(2009)
good conquering evil
29 March 2010
Clyde: "Well, that's what this movie was about:good conquering evil,the righteous prospering,the wicked suffering.
Nick: "I didn't get that."
Rarely will you find a film that both screams for vigilante justice and then cautions against it. A very primal part of me imagines all sorts of horrible revenge scenarios against purveyors of cruelty. However there is an old Chinese proverb, " He who seeks revenge should remember to dig two graves."
If it were not for this moral conflict, Law Abiding Citizen could have easily become just another vendetta film. For some audiences there will be no inner conflict. After the horrifying first scene, some may ask why we are being asked to question Clyde's beautifully crafted payback. Sometimes a Charlie Bronson solution is the simplest.
Nick: "I didn't get that."
Rarely will you find a film that both screams for vigilante justice and then cautions against it. A very primal part of me imagines all sorts of horrible revenge scenarios against purveyors of cruelty. However there is an old Chinese proverb, " He who seeks revenge should remember to dig two graves."
If it were not for this moral conflict, Law Abiding Citizen could have easily become just another vendetta film. For some audiences there will be no inner conflict. After the horrifying first scene, some may ask why we are being asked to question Clyde's beautifully crafted payback. Sometimes a Charlie Bronson solution is the simplest.
Green Zone
(2010)
the outraged voice of the nobler part of us
27 March 2010
First things first, "Bourne goes to Baghdad" is some marketing idiot's hamfisted idea to promote a film he isn't smart enough to describe any other way. This film has nothing to do with the Bourne franchise.
My only criticism of Green Zone is that it's 'too little, too late'. It would have made more of a splash if it were unleashed on the public when we were still grappling with the possibility rather than the confirmation that there were no WMDs in Iraq. Instead, it was released long after every man and his dog knows Bush Inc lied to us.
What kept me watching Green Zone is Chief Miller played by Damon. He is like us - the little guy trying to make sense of the mess his country has put him in. There are forces at work that he cant see. These phantom agendas make mockery of the ideals for which he risks his life.
The most powerful part of the film is the conclusion. Chief Miller becomes the outraged voice of the nobler part of us that is neither clouded by profit nor politics.
My only criticism of Green Zone is that it's 'too little, too late'. It would have made more of a splash if it were unleashed on the public when we were still grappling with the possibility rather than the confirmation that there were no WMDs in Iraq. Instead, it was released long after every man and his dog knows Bush Inc lied to us.
What kept me watching Green Zone is Chief Miller played by Damon. He is like us - the little guy trying to make sense of the mess his country has put him in. There are forces at work that he cant see. These phantom agendas make mockery of the ideals for which he risks his life.
The most powerful part of the film is the conclusion. Chief Miller becomes the outraged voice of the nobler part of us that is neither clouded by profit nor politics.
Nine Queens
(2000)
The jack-in-the-box ending rivals The Usual Suspects.
21 March 2010
Seen The Sting? Treasure of Sierra Madre? Catch Me if You Can? You probably have come to expect that most characters are lying in the con-artist film. Thankfully there is always some innocent involved who reminds us that the world isn't completely cynical. In Nine Queens, however, the atmosphere of deceit is so complete that everyone is either running a scam, or expecting one.
This Argentinian film will never be featured to promote tourism in Buenos Aires. An artificial economic bubble full of overvalued pesos in Argentinia means hard financial times. Hard times breeds desperation and cunning. The Buenos Aires of Nine Queens is teeming with thieves among whom there is no honour. This film will appeal to the cynic in all of us. Sometimes the safest approach to people is to expect the worst from them.
Ricardo Darin's performance as 'Marcos' is as perfect and intricate as the swiss made time-pieces he probably swipes. Watch with morbid fascination as he gives up little parts of his soul until there is nothing left.
The jack-in-the-box ending rivals The Usual Suspects.
This Argentinian film will never be featured to promote tourism in Buenos Aires. An artificial economic bubble full of overvalued pesos in Argentinia means hard financial times. Hard times breeds desperation and cunning. The Buenos Aires of Nine Queens is teeming with thieves among whom there is no honour. This film will appeal to the cynic in all of us. Sometimes the safest approach to people is to expect the worst from them.
Ricardo Darin's performance as 'Marcos' is as perfect and intricate as the swiss made time-pieces he probably swipes. Watch with morbid fascination as he gives up little parts of his soul until there is nothing left.
The jack-in-the-box ending rivals The Usual Suspects.
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