bl-606-352256 Reviews

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

7.1... I Feel Like I'm Taking Crazy Pills

[3/10 · 3 September 2011]

Summary: The premise is the worst I ever heard of, the plot is lame, and the film ended really poorly. You didn't get sucked into the world of the film, the special effects and action are not cool. There was bad acting. At this point there is nothing worth seeing about the film besides Damon acting well and a typical love story, but this was supposed to be a thriller. This movie would be a waste of drugs if you thought they could aid in making it watchable. This movie isn't romantic enough to make your girl swoon at any point. You will never say "That was awesome", you may laugh at the stupidity of the film or simply say "I don't care about this $#*+"

Here's why this film will disappoint you for watching it:

Ending: Cop-out and includes an infuriatingly cheesy life philosophy. This ending alone would ruin even a good film.

Big Bad Guy: Will not scare you. Doesn't do much.

Special Effects: Doors open to different places than they should. This is the big special effect in the movie, it is not noteworthy and not a reason this film is worth seeing. Other special effects are not interesting and few and far between.

Poor acting: If you weren't a main character, you got typical confident bad guy lines. These lines were delivered very flat and made the characters forgettable.

Bad guy's kryptonite: Dumb enough to embarrass you for watching. I won't spoil the film, but there are two and both of them should have been left out because they never mattered. They seemed to be added as an afterthought or got bungled in production and are some artifact of a more thought out plot device.

Plot Hole: Hard not to make this a spoiler....they were larger holes than are usually acceptable, not even being picky here 1.) Something all knowing didn't know something very obvious 2.) If you invited me to your house and I decided to light all the furniture on fire, would your response be "When you're done using that lighter, could you help me put out these fires?"

Super 8 (2011)

worth seeing to pass the time

[6/10 · 23 June 2011]

Filmed well, visually interesting, likable & developed characters, but nothing new.

How many times does someone have to make a movie about the government trying to control a new technology for military purposes before serious film makers become embarrassed about it?

ET, Romeo and Juliet, a group of kids saving the day... I've seen this before.

It does nothing new with the material it references. This well made homage seems more like a big jerk off circle.

I enjoyed watching this, but I don't know why it needed to be made.

Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)

No replay value. Flat, Predictable, and Charmless

[4/10 · 23 June 2011]

Some characters voiced by famous people were barely used (especially the snake, monkey, and bird). I didn't see the first movie, but they just seemed like baggage that couldn't be cut. I feel bad for David Cross getting about 3 lines and none of them being comedic. This was an all star voice cast, and it was mostly wasted.

There was no emotional build up in the plot or development of the characters. It just stumbled through a series of henchmen fight scenes. You knew how the movie was going to turn out in the end. In fact this was one of the most predictable movies I have ever seen. Let alone the plot, scenes, and character types we've seen 100 times before, I found myself predicting the ends of the characters lines way too many times. There was no charm to this movie. Compare to a Pixar movie, they both use clichés, but Pixar films are actually remembered. Nobody in this film really had a developed personality besides Jack Black's character.

Visually, the entire film seemed to be colored an ominous red and gray. It made for a very uncomfortable movie as the whole thing looked like it was over a fire. Compare to Mulan, where there were scenes in the white snow or woods. That was visually memorable. Who cares about the good CG animation, its like buying a 3 year old expensive crayons. In addition I was confused by the purpose of a lot of the non-kung fu action scenes. I felt like I was watching a video game someone else was playing. They went on for forever. I was later told this would normally be in 3D, makes sense. These scenes are time filling garbage.

Review was harsh, but honestly they created this for the quick cash so I don't think they care. This has almost no replay value and won't stay in your memory for long. It won't bore you to death or anything, I didn't have a bad time watching it, but something irks me when they pull movies like these out of a can and I come here to find it has a rating of about 8. That's on par with Aladdin/Fantasia and above Cinderella/Dumbo. Lets be honest, its about a 4.