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2012 (I) (2009)
2/10
disastrous disaster movie
24 November 2009
I gave this one a rating of 2 - the CGI saved it from a 1. Real science content - zero; intellectual content - zero; yawn content - massive.

It is always a pity when the yanks take on something like this. The small-mindedness with which they are cursed always reduces the potential for a global, encompassing, complicated storyline to the personal relationship tribulations of the supporting (soon to become the saviour) character. It happens in every movie (blockbuster or not) that comes out of Hollywood.

It is almost as though they can't get their heads around anything more meaningful than afternoon soap operas. For some inexplicable reason, American movies always spread the emotional and other woo-woo so thickly it is hard to take their movies seriously. This one is no exception.

There is so much I could pick holes in but it would end up as a spoiler and I don't want to do that. Suffice to say, it's full of schmaltz and family values as seen from the interminably American adolescent perspective and writ small. It's a shame really.

But I have acclimatised and only sat through the tedium in the vain hope that the movie might say something meaningful. The only award I could possibly confer would be the one for the highest platitude count ever in a major! - well expensive, movie.

Unless, of course, it is all a spoof and meant to be funny. On that count, it also misses by a country mile.
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The Seventh Scroll (1999– )
2/10
Pretty poor showing really
17 November 2009
It is a truism that it takes a lot of effort to make a bad movie - this one is no exception.

I am no lover of yanks but their amazingly simplistic view of the world and their ability to reduce everything to black and white as well as make events (even fictional ones in novels) fit an agenda that bears little or no relationship to complexity of any kind is irritating in the extreme.

Wilbur Smith is descriptively verbose but weaves intricate tales that deserve more than has been delivered by this awful mishmash of a movie.

Sad really for those who will never read Smith. They will be left with a less than decent portrayal of his Egyptian series, which has to be said is gigantic in its exposition.

The Indiana Jones movies were snappy. To attempt to replicate that by manipulating Smith's novels into this production misses out by a country mile.

Pathetic except for the photography and Art Malik.
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