ruble-huff Reviews

Share? (2023)

Slow burn but does make you think, even if just a little.

[5/10 · 21 November 2023]

Share? Surprised me. I almost turned it off several times due to its inane stupidity. I would call it satire more than a thriller. There isn't all that much thrill to it, but it takes very clear jabs at social media, social media addiction, and caricatures. The visual effects were laughable, the characters were stereotypical, and I didn't find any of it particularly funny or even really sci-fi related apart from the use of computers that were big in the 1980's.

I have seen far worse movies, though. This indie film was simply shot; the camera never moves. There are no shaky-cam shots, jump scares, explosions, or lens flares.

I'm actually glad for that, because they have enough trouble managing actual fire.

A lot is left unexplained but as this film seems message-focused, most people will just glaze over the lack of clarity.

Sadly, in my opinion, the film also blew its landing. People gained power and promptly abused it, as everyone knows they would. I won't spoil it for those who choose to watch it. I'll just say that it ultimately disappointed me.

The Scrotum (2019)

It's fine if you have the attention span of a gnat.

[2/10 · 8 April 2023]

Surprisingly, there is a plot to this so-called movie. Toxic chemicals mutate testicles into murderous monsters. There you go. Now that you know what it is about, you can save yourself the hour and very few minutes it takes to watch it. Every male character is a short-lived idiot. I'm not even going to start asking all the questions I still have about the monster. Okay, maybe I'll ask a couple. How does a mutated testicle become physically large enough and strong enough to not only kill full-sized adults, but pursue them at top running speed and worse, drag their bodies around? Yes, these critters are quick enough and have the endurance to chase down a van with enough strength left over to kill the driver. I watched this film constantly wondering how bad it could get. The answer is 'Pretty Freaking Bad', and not in the 'so-bad-it's-good' way, either. It's awful to anyone capable of reason, yet for some reason it spawned a sequel. I'll leave that review to someone else.

Freeze (I) (2022)

Don't bother. Just don't bother. (minor spoilers)

[2/10 · 1 April 2023]

I did not turn this movie off. Looking back, I should have. To call it awful would be praising what it really is. I would almost call this a 'no budget' film. An English warship with less than ten people of its crew seen. Uniforms that look almost closet-fresh after two+ years of Arctic conditions. A stowaway that manages to elude being seen for at least a number of months.

There is kind of a story, but is threadbare and riddled with plot holes. Supposedly possessing supplies for literally years, one of the first topics is going to half-rations and impending starvation. Everyone is pursuing their individual agendas with near-religious fervor. Even the crises they face are not enough to compel them to work together.

The movie is listed as being in the horror & thriller genres. Freeze couldn't scare or thrill a five-year-old. Like other movies made of late, it was even more of a disappointment than I expected. What effects they tried for were beneath poor quality and laughable. Logic was all but absent. Steer clear of this film and put that time to something more engaging, like watching paint dry or an earthworm crawling across a stone.

Terror Trips (2021)

Starts dumb and only gets worse

[2/10 · 17 June 2022]

This movie is a noxious blend of cheese and cringe. I'm not talking about the kind of cringe a good horror movie can inspire. If you see this DVD in a bargain bin, keep looking.

The concept of 'Terror Trips' showed promise, but turned out to be a thin smokescreen. The woke half-shaved head of purple hair put in an appearance, being so stunning and brave that the character maintained it for at least five years. There was no way I could take that character seriously.

When people start dying (big surprise), the guys are put down with ridiculous ease. The 'evil' women outperform the subservient men at every opportunity. It was an embarrassment to both sexes.

The ending is as bad as it was predictable. If you enjoy making yourself feel stupid, foolish and gullible, this movie is for you. Having watched it once, my DVD copy is ready to begin its second life as a drink coaster. Hard pass on this one.

Cosmic Dawn (2022)

Save Yourself ... Time and Money

[2/10 · 11 February 2022]

This film left me bored and confused. I always have trouble with the reasoning behind aliens structuring cosmic-scale events around a 'chosen one' or a rather small group of individuals.

Many questions came to mind that were of course left unanswered. If I am expected to fill in this many blanks myself, I may as well have written the script myself. It probably would have had more coherency.

In my opinion, rental money wasted and invaluable time lost. Find something better to watch. It won't be hard to do.

It Came from Below (2021)

Not very thrilling for a thriller.

[3/10 · 24 August 2021]

The ending of this film left me scratching my head. Four twenty-somethings enter a cave (extremely ill-prepared) looking for proof of a creature. None of them have any training in spelunking and have no real grasp of the potential dangers.

Most of the cave is remarkably level. They make no descents (which is lucky because the only cordage they bring along is a ball of yarn). I could swear they were using the slow flow of water at their feet to indicate the way 'down'.

The box art reads: 'miles below the earth'. If they're referring to the creature awakening it must have done most of the walking. The story's two park rangers aren't very ranger-like, one of whom looks like she hasn't slept for a week. If they have any official protocols to follow they do a rather poor job of it.

The story is rather disjointed, the character development is very poor and I couldn't bring myself to emotionally invest in any of them. It isn't proven that the creature comes from another world. My head is still spinning from trying to sort out the plot.

Wounds barely bleed, lost fingers barely slow people down and people trapped in the cave are subsisting on who-knows-what.

Unless you are very bored and have absolutely nothing better to do, give this film a hard pass.

Let's Be Evil (2016)

Stupid. Just stupid...

[1/10 · 27 December 2016]

'Stupid' sums it up. I won't even waste time trying to explain why. It simply is. It was one of those films that I keep watching just in the hope that it will improve. In this instance, it didn't. I'd sooner re-watch Mill of the Stone Women or the 4-D Man.

Eighty-two wasted minutes of my life I'll never get back. Really struggling to find anything good to say about it. Who sets up a research facility like that? (Don't want to include spoilers here.) This was supposed to be built around augmented reality. Can't say I thought they'd done even a poor job of it.

Stay away. Just stay away.