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Reviews
Buried Alive (2007)
Lester don't write no reviews.....
Buried Alive Tobin Bell deserves an Oscar for best actor in this gripping horror film. Lester is not just any creepy gold digger who lives in the middle of the desert alone in his RV, but really tries to warn the dumb kids not to go into the creepy "sub-cellar". If only those dumb college kids would have listened to Lester and his third person warnings none of this would have ever happened.
Phil plays his role to perfection and his stuttering goes almost unnoticed during his few but crucial lines. You can tell the other college kids not only look up to him but also fear him because his is allowed to go unquestioned on his routine 8 hour phone call.
One scene I did not enjoy was where they clearly killed live innocent snakes in order for a cheap scare. I do not condone any Mike Vick behavior from film producers and they should be punished.
I do not fully understand the cousin make-out scene right in front of the girls boyfriend. I mean I guess if I had a girlfriend I would let her make-out with her cousin too
.CUZ LESTER Ain't GOT NO CABLE!!
The Triangle (2001)
Three times as good as a regular triangle
I'm on a boat, I'm on a boat, Take a look at me cause I'm sailin' on a boat... into the Bermuda Triangle.
Seriously, why do they go to the bermuda triangle? Go to Florida or something.
I was really happy when the 80 year old steam liner showed up, not just in the fog, but literally MADE of the fog - that was epic. So let's go aboard - good decision #2
And then the movie takes a turn for the better - maybe even for the best - because the ship is abandoned and nothing happens for the next 20 minutes, except that one dude gets really really greedy and instead of doing his smoking hot wife, he decides to bash her in the head with a cricket paddle.
At this point I was literally drooling in anticipation of the stunning conclusion to this movie where the crazy guy tries to kill the other guy and the other girl and then the ship ignites in a ball of flame and then the guy and the girl are FOUND FOUR YEARS LATER - I need to take a vacation to fully comprehend the implications of that plot twist.
Maybe I'll go to Bermuda.
Route 666 (2001)
The matrix meets Hills have Eyes
Syfy has done it again! Combing intense horror scenes and gripping plot that will keep you on the edge of your seat!
I am almost certain that the Matrix was based entirely off of this movie. You have Jack La Roca the chosen savior to bring peace to the zombies and the humans (ring a bell Neo?). His sexy partner Steph who Trintiy is obviously based on, and the fat Hawaiian seems to the original Oracle.
Not only do you have these great characters you also get the one and only Martin Lawrence with his best performance since Remember the Titans. His one-liners are classic and will have you laughing uncontrollably and there is nothing like handcuffing a black guy over and over.
Also the electric guitar riffs and the cameraman with Michael J Fox syndrome completely fit the mood of the gripping zombie sequences.
Only one minor question goes unanswered throughout this movie.... Why don't they just stay off the road?
Shredder (2001)
Shred till your dead!
Shredder like any classic horror film incorporates, hot chicks, sweet deaths, snowboarding, and a giant snowplow with no regard for human life.
Viewers will be thrilled by not only the skill of the of the urchins and skys (Johnny Tsunami reference) but will also enjoy the suspenseful creative death scenes. It will keep you guessing throughout the entire movie with its complex and original plot!
The best scene by far is the final death sequence which will plow your mind! I recommend watching this scene in slow motion to get the full effect of this carnage.
Shedder is sure to entertain audiences of all ages and is cool as the other side of the mountain.
Don't Go in the House (1979)
You'll want to go in the house!
After seeing this movie, you'll probably make a joke, or clever pun, about going (or not going) in the house.
This movie is everything the modern horror film should be, and more! Rich plot development and a main character that has about ten total lines, naked women, and naked BURNING women all come together to blow your mind.
This movie was definitely not made anytime in this century, because the soundtrack sounds like it was created by strapping a tape recorder to a house cat, tying it to a 747, and dragging it down the runway.
Still, I can't argue with the stunning visual effects (people being on fire), and I promise you won't see the massive plot twist coming at you like a freight train.
I would love to see this movie again and again until my eyes fall out.
Lake Dead (2007)
Lake Deaaaaad
Most people had already seen this film by the time it was awarded one of the 7 scariest horror films of 2008, but if not you most likely saw this movie genius on the Syfy channel which has been a gold standard for horror films for the past decade.
Lake dead is not your average teenagers go on a road trip, messed up incest family tries to murder and rape them, American success story. In fact Lake dead has many plot twists that will leave you wanting more grandma-son heated make out scenes.
One thing I did not like about the movie was the underling promotion of the Gieco caveman throughout this gripping horror film. From the RV breaking down to the raping of innocent teenage girls, Gieco clearly wanted another way to promote their insurance company.
Lake Dead might not save you 15% on your car insurance but is worthy of a Syfy prime time showing.
Malibu Shark Attack (2009)
Jaws meets The Departed meets The Sound of Music
Syfy strikes again with this award winning thriller about shark attacks in Malibu. I don't really know where Malibu is.
The movie starts off with a bang (literally ha ha ha) as an underwater explosion awakens a species of badly rendered CGI sharks and sends them swimming toward the Malibu coast. Then a tsunami crushes the coast, flooding the area and unleashing the sharks upon a helpless group of lifeguards who have been stranded in a wooden shack that miraculously survived the 90 foot tidal wave.
I won't go and give away the details, but I will say that at least 6 of the actors and 3 of the actresses, along with the 14 year old girl who did the computer animations on her MacBook Pro, deserve Academy Award nominations.
This is another must-see classic from the creative minds at Syfy.
Lake Placid 2 (2007)
This movie is the sequel to another movie.
In case you're not aware, the original Lake Placid was a movie about giant crocodiles eating people in New York's very own Lake Placid.
Here we have the sequel, Lake Placid 2, which takes place in Maine, in a lake that is not called Lake Placid... but let's not sweat the details.
After the astonishing success of Lake Placid 1, I can't blame the director for sticking to the plan - 5 minutes into the movie, we find ourselves knee deep in 40 foot crocodiles that have been raised by none other than the sister of the woman who raised the original crocodiles - talk about a family affair!
Honestly, I loved the movie - the acting was fantastic, and I couldn't help but feel that I was right there in the action, watching some fool get eaten by a crocodile. And when the small town sheriff shows us all that he is an expert with an MGL Grenade Launcher, well, let's just say I called up my local movie store and reserved ten copies.
Drive Thru (2007)
Drive Thru was wrongfully denied a Golden Globe for best picture!
Drive Thru is one of the top 5 horror movies of all time in my book. Everything comes together so well - the fast paced action, the subtle political innuendos, and the suspenseful plot twists are all perfectly balanced to create the ideal horror movie experience.
The actors all play their roles to perfection - Jan and Hunter from the office!!! - and the soundtrack is nothing short of spectacular. The character meet their deaths in a widely entertaining variety of ways (mostly involving a clown with an axe).
The guy from Supersize Me makes a highly ironic cameo as a fast food cashier, which was a great creative casting twist.
SPOILER ALERT!! Snape kills Dumbledore!
You will be left speechless at the end of the movie, which has a twist of a magnitude unheard of since the Sixth Sense. I am anxiously awaiting the sequel, Drive Thru 2 starring Keanu Reeves.