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kopoko
Reviews
The 100 (2014)
who watches this?
It's been 2 seasons, and to my shock it's up to episode 13. Who the hell watches this? teenagers? old people? I just don't get it. it's so awful it's ridiculous. It has a like 10 people on r e d d i t who follow it. 10 people. If one could get cancer from the TV then surely this would be a contender. Ebola, AIDS, West Nile fever all in one transmitted straight into your brains. It's been 2 seasons, and to my shock it's up to episode 13. Who the hell watches this? teenagers? old people? I just don't get it. it's so awful it's ridiculous. It has a like 10 people on r e d d i t who follow it. 10 people. If one could get cancer from the TV then surely this would be a contender. Ebola, AIDS, West Nile fever all in one transmitted straight into your brains.
2047: Sights of Death (2014)
binge gone wrong
So everyone's at Madsen's getting high as hell. Hannah is swinging off a chandelier slamming mermaid-tinis, whilst Glover has been on the sofa doing balloons for days. Then boom, one of the Baldwin brothers and that guy from Baderunner find a hundred pills from the early 90s. The party gets shipped to Italy with Glover on the sofa and all. After a week the comedown of we're all doomed begins; they have a look in the mirror and this turgid nonsense is created.
CGI wise it's like thy decided that Sayonara Jupiter meets Home and Away was the epitome of model/set design and recreated it. The production is so bad it's just bad.
The acting is depressing. You start wondering why Steven Segal didn't get the main role to give it more life. How low can we go? The rest are a joke as well. The only actor who gets away with anything is the girl in red who doesn't say a word. She's like that unfortunate really smart and fit South American girl that turns up in a dysfunctional sociopathic house share in Bethnal Green or some other arse-end of London.
Someone should edit this with only shots of the red girl with some Gregorian chanting music and turn it into a soft porn spiritual healing mind retreat. Sights of heavenly salami.
Open Grave (2013)
Solid horror film for a genre desperate for originality
Engaging from beginning to end with excellent performances from every member of the cast. In a genre so played out, so overblown, and over exposed, this is a refreshing creation that doesn't go into cliché autopilot mode, mock itself, mock you, or mock the industry.
Sure there are one or two bits that are fair game, but overall it doesn't degenerate into some stylized sexist no talent tit and dick prop running around. Instead you have dialogue. I know, amazing concept; making you continually ask who, what, and why like some kind of horror thriller where the protagonist, antagonist, victim and suspect are all the same person, but at the same time they aren't. Exactly.
Great atmosphere through out with solid sound work, unfortunately the ending doesn't do the rest of the film any justice, but it's rare that any endings in these kinds of film do so -3 points. Highly recommended.
New Girl (2011)
awful
rubbish, awful, horrible, trash, garbage, Tories, bankers, solicitors, estate agents. I think you get the gist. My 5 year old niece can poop a better TV series. Bland, banal, the Justin Bieber of TV shows. Just so boring, nauseatingly boring, it's like she had a personality bypass. The story lines are an attack to intelligence and enjoyment. Shocking. About as interesting as a bowl of turnips. Rubbish, awful, horrible, trash, garbage, Tories, bankers, solicitors, estate agents. I think you get the gist. My 5 year old niece can poop a better TV series. Bland, banal, the Justin Bieber of TV shows. Just so boring, nauseatingly boring, it's like she had a personality bypass. The story lines are an attack to intelligence and enjoyment. Shocking. About as interesting as a bowl of turnips.