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surrealisticpillow
Reviews
Cummings Farm (2009)
The reviews posted here are obviously fake, avoid at all costs
I didn't go into this film with high expectations. As a matter of fact, I sat down expecting to laugh at the horrible production values and hackneyed jokes of what promised to be another juvenile raunch comedy.
If only.
All-American Orgy comes off like one of those straight-to-DVD American Pie sequels, if it were written by a freshman film student trying his hand at social commentary. That is to say, it isn't funny, it isn't sharp, it isn't anything substantial. What it is, is awkward, paceless waste which has a profound humorlessness that is only rivaled by the pathetic desperation of the "commentary."
The positive reviews here are so absurdly glowing that it's like the writers want us to know they're fake. Avoid.
Pearl Harbor (2001)
This is everything wrong with war movies
Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett take out the entire Japanese air force, by themselves. Oh, well, i guess Tom Sizemore did help out by taking down a fighter WITH A SHOTGUN. Half of the big battle scene was in slow motion and Cuba Gooding Jr (rehashing his role from that abomination Men of Honor) of course plays the black guy trying to overcome his oppressive position as a cook by grabbing a gun and screaming really passionately while manipulative orchestral music plays really loudly.
The point im trying to make is: This was the best and most believable part of the movie. Thats how bad it really is.
1 out of 10. And the one is only because Tom Sizemore gets credit for Jack Scagnetti in Natural Born Killers.