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Reviews
Ocean's Twelve (2004)
Don't Bother - Plot less, Mindless and Pointless
Big mistake making this film. Amazed the actors signed up to it. Pay checks and who's who 'A' list credits must have been the catalyst.
The first half hour is a mixture of confusing snippets of different timelines and "guess who's back?" shots. Add to this the whispering dialogue, so you can hardly hear the actors, and you have little idea what on earth the plot is supposed to be.
This film is really a plot within a plot within a plot. The half hour prior to the last fifteen minutes moves faster than the rest of the film, but it's completely pointless.
In it we're shown that the remaining 'free' members of the crew decide to enlist Tess (Julia Roberts) to assist them in the heist. Here's the clanger...they come to the conclusion that Tess looks very similar to...wait for it....Julia Roberts!!! Now there's a script with originality and imagination for you. They also get Bruce Willis in a cameo role to make it more likely that the character played by Julia Roberts is really Julia Roberts. Willis seems bemused by the whole thing. Julia Roberts manages to play herself well enough (!) Clanger No.2 comes at the end. We're shown that the target of the heist (a Faberge Egg) was actually 'pinched' by Ocean's crew earlier on. It's the twist to make the audience say "I didn't see that coming.", and it's an insult to the audience.
Basically we're to believe that with the loot already in their possession, they enlist Julia Roberts to go through a pointless act to attempt to steal the fake one, so they can be locked up, only to then be rescued by associates. All so they can A) Get away with it all, and B) Have the right to boast to another top-class thief The other underlying plot issue is that they have to pay back the cash from the 1st movie. This is the basis for all this happening.
Let's face it. In the real world, or even in a fictional fantasy world of crooks, they don't waste their time on one-upmanship when that kind of loot is at stake. Not do they bother to get caught to get busted out. Ludicrous! It's a who's who of the first film, and even the knuckle-dragging ape from the first movie is there, tattoos and all....but wait for it....he appears in a suit and touting a 'legal council' badge he busts one of the crew out of jail (legally I assume). Yes, like most lawyers have tattoos on their shaven heads and are 7 foot tall.
Plus points? Matt Damon and Catherine Zeta-Jones seem to take their parts seriously enough to be entertaining. The rest are getting an even share of quips, gags, and smart-arsed comments. Few of them get a decent share of the dialogue or the filming to make an impact.
The style, music and what not are good, but there's too much reliance on that to fill in the gaps.
I think the original rat-pack and the original Ocean's 11 became a classic for a few reasons, but one was because then didn't try to do a sequel. The re-make of Ocean's 11 was quite good, simply because with the exception of the location and the target(s), the plot was completely different. They had a real chance to make it a classic, and the corporate idiots of the film industry preferred to cash in on it instead.
Result? If there's ever another sequel it'll flop right out. Few will spend their cash one more time.
1/5 - and it's Matt Damon and Catherine Zeta-Jones who get the 1.
Ocean's Eleven (2001)
An excellent remake of a film which people thought couldn't be re-made.
Not going to go into the plot. It's a good all round entertainment film, with interest, excitement and plot. Stars abound, they all do their bit and make the whole experience more enjoyable.
*** Spoilers ***
I have only two criticisms. The little love story within takes us away from the rest of the story. Perhaps it adds a touch of "Got ya!" to the bad guy, but is he a bad guy? Not really. A businessman with a focused personality perhaps.
The other one is that burning question...How do they get the money out of Vegas? This isn't explored, but left to the imagination. I have a feeling they script writers couldn't think up a way of doing it without falling over their highly technological script. More than once the issue is raised about being stuck in the middle of the desert, and no solution is forthcoming. Perhaps Ocean's Eleven II is yet to come out with "Did Danny's followers at the end of the film do anything?" or "Here's how they got the cash out of Vegas".
All that said, it's one of the first films I've watched in a long time which had very little violence, swearing, nudity, sex or the abuse of drugs or alcohol. Not that I care one way another if the film is good, but it's extremely refreshing to think that Hollywood can produce a hit with the above qualities.
Even Julia Roberts doesn't quite get a chance to cry!
All in all a great film. I gave it 9/10, taking into account the plot failings above. I highly recommend it to all the family.
Shichinin no samurai (1954)
An original hero movie.
Three and a half hours long.
Black and White.
Made in Japan.
At first glance this would have any film watcher switching over, and filing that one under "Don't watch!"
Try it. It's a nice surprise. Not a film for those with no patience for story, but for those who like to be taken on a journey of learning. Like it's American counterpart with it's all star cast, it makes the watcher wonder "would I be able to do that?"
Unlike it's American counterpart, there's a slowness to the film which I can only say is truly 'Japanese'. Similar to spaghetti westerns, the focus is on the facial expressions and the eye contact. This would in some cases bore or amuse, but if you've really sat down to enjoy this film, and you allow yourself to 'get into it', it puts across not only the acting styles (perhaps on the amateurish side from time to time), but also emphasises the depth of the feelings of the characters involved.
The Seven Samuri is a film of honour, born out of tradition, in a land where both are highly valued.
Watch it, simply to prove me wrong :)
10/10
Deathtrap (1982)
Great Film
Excellent plot within a plot within a plot. Shame about two of my film heroes having a good snog. Must be my upbringing:)
Very well acted by all. You never quite know who's going to out-do who. The last little twist at the end allows for all to get their just deserts.
Recommend to all. A harmless, tongue in cheek thriller which if it has any faults is probably Michael Caine's over-use of the word "bloody", but that's his signature, isn't it.
9/10
The Legend of Hell House (1973)
How to make a horror film...
Take four people, isolate them, add some history (not too much), pinch of scepticism, and there you have it!
I first saw this film when I was pre 10 yrs old. One of those cushion holding nights, where your folks fall asleep (obviously bored with another Hammer film) and you're left to keep watch.....
20 years on it doesn't seem quite as scary, but forgive me for leaving on the light and watching it in company.
I've not seen any of the other films mentioned in the other reviews here, but I'll keep an eye out for em, so I can form my opinion. For now I have to say that with the exception of Poltergeist III (mirrors were never the same after that) and The Shining (wiggly fingers), I've never quite been as entertained, from the peeking over the cushion point of view.
Even now I want to go and watch it, but it's 3am and I'm the only one awake. Naaaaaaaah!
Bloodbath at the House of Death (1984)
A brilliant portrayal of comedy unseen nowadays.
This film had me re-winding and watching again and again years ago. Been a few years since I've seen it, and I still look for my chance!
Kenny Everett (sadly missed) brought his own brand of humour to the screen and it is seen best in this film. Supported well (by Vincent Price to name but one), he pulls a somewhat limited script out of the satanical ashes and keeps you laughing, not to mention groaning.
A comedy of the time, this film is more of a cult "do you remember?" than a film for anyone, but it's worth a look.
The Nutty Professor (1963)
The Best Hangover scene ever!
What else can I say? A very odd movie if you're a kid. An even odder movie as an adult. His flashbacks, dreams and hallucinations make it as odd as it gets, but the hangover scene it perfect. Can't stand people who chew gum as a result!
Buddy Love is a typical guy with too much confidence and booze. Never a great mix.
Worth seeing once, but probably not twice.