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Reviews
Zodiac (2007)
Shockingly incohesive and boring
I was pretty shocked that this film came from the same director of very cinematically gripping films such as Fight Club. Zodiac is not only boring, it's extremely incoherent. It feels like Fincher couldn't make any decisions and just had the editors go nuts chop everything to pieces.
The movie starts out okay--the murder scenes, especially the opener, are pretty well done (the blood is quite reminiscent of Fight Club). Then as the film continues the scenes become shorter and as the Zodiac stops killing people, it's basically just Mark Ruffalo running around trying to catch the guy and then Jake Gyllenhaal running around trying to catch the guy. Jake Gyllenhaal is simply too young to play his character, Robert Graysmith, who doesn't age a day when he is supposed to have aged fifteen years. I also find it quite unconvincing that Graysmith doesn't seem to care when his wife ups and leaves with the kids. And the unexplained absence of him from the middle of the film is irritating as well.
By the end, it felt as though Fincher had given up, a little. The average scene length is about fifteen seconds--no exaggeration--and they all basically consist of Jake Gyllenhaal running around, slipping and sliding in the rain, and basically being his goofy self. Especially with all the rain, it started feeling like I was watching The Day After Tomorrow, not what was supposed to be an exciting thriller about a serial killer. Too many characters are introduced as potential Zodiacs, and then abandoned. I'm sure this is how it happened in real life, but that all could have been cut out to shorten the movie's 2 1/2 hour length. This is a big blockbuster--the audience doesn't expect Fincher to include all the details. He did, however, and it felt extremely unnecessary. There are also way too many extra people, such as the guy who can only be remembered for playing Chandler's short-lived roommate, Eddie, on Friends, who replaces Robert Downey Jr.'s character. He's in it for a total of about four minutes, and just feels like an extra burden. Graysmith's marital relationship with Chloe Sevigny, as well, feels strange, and was clearly only included to have a woman in the cast--however horrible a job she did in terms of her acting.
The one thing I did like, though, was the idea that the Zodiac was played by different men according to how the victims described him. That, to me, was an interesting way of doing things, especially because the case has never been solved, so we don't really know who actually did commit the crimes.
Don't be expecting Se7en or Fight Club from this film. It's boring, too drawn out, and falls apart about halfway through. If you felt this review was too long, you'll never survive Zodiac, and if you already saw it, then I don't know how you did.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
Terrible Abomination of the book
I was so excited to see this movie. I thought it would be so great and amazing and better than all the others. I had only heard good things about it. But when I saw it, it was quite the contrary.
This movie did not follow the storyline of the book at all. The scenes changed very quickly, and the set could not possibly have been any different from the old set which confused me quite a bit. Why on earth did everything take place in a clock tower? When did it ever say in the book that the entrance to the school was in a clock? Never.
Also, in the very last scene Harry recieves his Firebolt which is extremely different from the book.
I also think that the students wear normal clothes too often which, in my opinion, is very stupid because it ruins the air of fantasy and the idea that they're living in practically a different world. And in the books they never wear Muggle clothing, they don't even know what normal Muggles wear!
Last, but not least, there is way too much flirtation and sexual tension between Hermione and the boys. Hermione grabs Ron's hand, cries on his shoulder, falls on Harry, and spoons with him!
If I hadn't read the book, I might think the movie was a good-quality movie, except for the fact that absolutely nothing is explained and the scenes are too short in the beginning.
To sum it up, I did not enjoy this movie, mainly because it didn't follow the book well enough and I didn't think it was well-made.
The Wonderful World of Disney: Model Behavior (2000)
how can you like this?
pretty much what happens is the unoriginal plot that two girls who look alike switch places because they hate their lives. i'm usually pretty loose w/ disney movies because i know to expect them to be awful, but to actually say this is good and that the acting is good or even decent is completely idiotic. this movie was SO BAD! and none of these people including Maggie whatever can act.. it was so bad. the only reason to watch this would be for Justin Timberlake - not that he's good, he's just Justin Timberlake and cool. anyway, this movie was absolutely terrible and i didn't even watch the whole thing and i hate it this much! the ending sucked also. it was really predictable.
The Weekenders (2000)
The best show ever!
Before I talk about the show, I would just like to say to whoever
called Tino a WASP that he is most certainly NOT WASPy at all.
Also, for all of you who are comparing The Weekenders to Recess,
this show is far better. Recess is, even though the characters are
funny and clever, an idiotic show where stupid TJ always saves the
day. In The Weekenders, all of them solve the problem and the
characters are equally clever and funny. Although the show is a tad
stereotypical, it is still extremely enjoyable and will most certainly
make you laugh out loud. The theme song and beginning credits
are also very fun. All in all, this show is AWESOME and you should
most certainly watch it if you have cable. It is now on Monday-Friday
afternoons nestled between two ridiculously stupid shows (Lloyd
in Space and Disney's House of Mouse) at 3:00 Eastern Time on
the Disney Channel. It's so much fun for adults and kids alike and
should not be missed under any circumstances! I especially love
how Tino's mom has the ability to analize everything, how the pizza
parlor is always changing names and themes, how there is
always a strange and disgusting food to be tasted at the
anthropoligy museum, and the narrations by usually Tino but
sometimes by others. Even though it can be corny at the end, this
show is superb. As Tino would say, Later Days!
Finding Nemo (2003)
An original, okay film
Finding Nemo is an okay movie. The idea is good and original, but
the beginning is very sad and too much of the same thing was
happening. The very funny parts were in the fish tank that Nemo
gets captured in.
What happens is that Nemo is a an only child, or only fish, if you
want to say that. He lives with his overprotective father. On the first
day of school his dad catches him not being with the group and he
and his friends are having a contest to see who can get closer to
"the butt" (a boat). Nemo's dad gets mad so, to prove that he's
brave, Nemo swims up and touches "the butt". He gets captured
by scuba divers and put in a tank in a dentist's office. He meets
many crazy fish and it's a fun movie once you get into it. But it's a
little slow and I really wanted to smack Dory, a fish who teams up
with Nemo's dad, Marlin, to go and find Nemo. I also wanted to
smack Marlin. Of course, there are corny parts at the end but, it's
Disney. What can you expect? I'd probably give this film 6 out of 10
stars because it's funny and sort of original, but it's slow and
annoying.
Lizzie McGuire (2001)
An annoying but enjoyable show
This is a show about a girl named Lizzie McGuire (hence the name). She is a middle school girl who can be rather annoying sometimes. This is one of those shows with dumb messages at the end. But, it seems to send out a message that attractive boys are the ones to have a crush on because Lizzie has a crush on the incredibly hideous (in my opinion) and stupid Ethan Craft who she thinks is hot.
Hilary Duff is not that bad of an actress, and neither are most of the adults, but (LaLaine especially) everyone else is pretty bad. The show is enjoyable but pretty stupid and annoying if you think about it.
Another thing that bothers be about it, is that it's another thing where the only way the character can be Hispanic, is if their parents have accents.
The Secret of Monkey Island (1990)
Fun fun fun
This one is definitly is not my favorite out of the four (I think 3 is my favorite, if that's the one that's not all 3D and you have to go to that hotel) and I didn't really understand what to do, but these Monkey Island games are SO FUN! Even if you have to use the cheat book a lot. But they're fun for the whole family - seriously. But, little kids might have to play it with someone else so they know what to do. All 4 of the games are about Guybrush Threepwood and his adventures around the islands of the Caribbean (pronounced Car-i-bee-in) as a not very accepted pirate. They're hilarious and much fun.
You Wish! (2003)
Corny but enjoyable movie
This is one of those Disney Channel movies that is enjoyable to watch, but makes you want to smack the TV and has a sappy message at the end. Alex is a kid who wishes on a magic coin that he didn't have a brother and suddenly his life turns around: he has the "hot cheerleader girlfriend" and he's great at football. But he realizes that he'd rather have his old life back.
It makes you want to smack the TV because the whole time you want him to just go back to the coin shop and buy another magic coin. But, it's enjoyable and I'd recommend it to most people who don't mind watching Disney Channel Originals.