jville2 Reviews

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

Klaatu Is Not Very Observant

[3/10 · 15 February 2009]

Too bad for this film that its audience is paying more attention than Klaatu.

I have not seen the original, so my comments about this remake are based entirely on its own merit (or lack thereof).

Other reviewers have already pointed out the horrible clichés and the untenable script, so I will say only that the reviewers are generally correct, but the overall score of 5.6 (as of today) is actually too generous.

...SPOILER...

The single biggest problem with this movie, aside from the myriad other issues, is that if Klaatu had been paying attention to the human race, he would have observed that millions of human beings throughout history have displayed remarkable altruism and have sacrificed themselves to far greater extents than Connelly's character does for Smith (and vice versa). If Smith and Connelly's love is enough to convince Klaatu to spare the human race, then he obviously was not paying attention when (insert notable act of selfless altruism here).

Thus, Klaatu's epiphany makes absolutely no sense and is the final nail in this terrible movie's coffin.

...End of spoiler...

I give this horror flick a 3.5/10 = F

Nothing But the Truth (I) (2008)

Solid Movie That Could Have Been Very Good...

[6/10 · 26 January 2009]

until the ending, which exposes this film as another piece of Hollywood propaganda. We have seen these types of films countless times, but this one is done extremely well.

All of the actors deliver top-notch performances, and the script is good. The movie, while slowly paced, is still entertaining and works on many levels --as a mystery and as political commentary.

So why am I giving this film only a 6/10? Well,

--- SPOILER ----

The ending completely ruins this film and makes Beckinsale's character a martyr. Why would a reporter so fiercely protect her "source" when the government would not be able (and would not want to) prosecute a child? It makes no sense for Beckinsale to go to the lengths that she does - ruining her family and Farmiga's - to shield a child who, when exposed, would never be made public or legally held liable anyway!

--- END of SPOILER ---

If not for the ridiculous reasoning behind Beckinsale's reluctance to divulge her "source," this could have been a very good, if not great, movie. However, because her character is an imbecile, I cannot deem this film as much more than political propaganda based on a horribly flawed (almost humorously bad) premise.

The Deal (I) (2008)

Unfunny and pointless

[4/10 · 13 January 2009]

This could have been good if it were actually funny. Humor is obviously subjective, but based on the 6.1 rating on here, most viewers did not subjectively find this film funny either.

There is not remotely a believable, moving, or memorable moment to save this unfunny "comedy." Macy usually provides some human warmth to his characters, but even he could not save this terrible script. Macy's relationship with Ryan is not touching, and the two have no chemistry whatsoever.

Also, Meg Ryan, who was never good looking to begin with, now looks like a freak: gross!

Grade: F

Farm House (2008)

Has potential but ultimately fails

[5/10 · 10 January 2009]

Unlike most horror films - especially STV ones - this movie actually has good acting, solid production values and a potentially interesting storyline, but the ending comes out of nowhere and blindsides the viewer.

The hints, via flashback, shown along the way do not cohesively add up to the climax. Now, I am not saying that all twist endings need to be obvious, but they have to make sense.

What happens at the conclusion in "Farmhouse" is not only unexpected but totally nonsensical.

SPOILER >>>

The demons claim that even if the couple were given a second chance that they would still murder their infant, but while the two are hardly saints, they at least are not typical murderers. At least they are tortured by their past and are trying to make a fresh start. I cannot excuse or forgive what they did, but since this movie's moral message is about divine retribution and punishment, it should have portrayed the couple as more heinous than they actually turn out to be. For example, Scarlet does risk her life to try and save Alal (albeit with one less eye!). If Scarlet and her husband are worthy of demonic hell (or purgatory), then what should people even worse than them experience? THAT I would have preferred to see! I actually had more sympathy for these two than for most "innocent" slaughter victims in most horror films.

END OF SPOILER >>>

If the ending's explication were not so heavy-handed and poorly executed, I would have still given this film a 6/10.

The Accidental Husband (2008)

Sub-par, predictable, and boring...

[3/10 · 26 December 2008]

This film does not deserve a full review, so I will express my opinion by way of a few bullet points:

• Predictable and banal. - Dialogue and script could have been written by anyone who is half literate. - Nothing new, retreads old ground but poorly. - Gushy and silly without being charming or funny to redeem it. - A waste of 85 minutes.

Please watch something like "Love Actually" if you want a romantic movie with Colin Firth in it. Even the mediocre "My Super Ex-Girlfriend" has more going for it than this dud. Uma Thurman can be funny with the right script, but no one could have saved this trash.

End of the Line (II) (2007)

Clichéd, poorly acted, and not terribly scary

[4/10 · 20 December 2008]

The story is nothing special or original, but at least it did not involve a creepy little child and a haunted attic.

For a horror movie, there was surprisingly little gore. Where this film really falls into mediocrity, though, is in the acting and and lack of scares. Only the tension at the beginning of the train stop is remotely thrilling.

I recommend potential viewers to skip this flick unless you expect laughably bad acting, clichéd characters, and very low production values, with no scares.

For an interesting and entertaining scare on a train, consider "Midnight Meat Train."