darthmaus Reviews

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

Couldn't even finish watching it -- way too stupid.

[1/10 · 26 March 2003]

Now, I love stupid humor movies. Some of my favorites: Orgazmo, the South Park movie, the Beavis and Butthead movie, Shaolin Soccer, Dumb and Dumber, Old School. Anything by Kevin Smith, or Sam Raimi. I also love action and martial arts films -- the cheesier the better.

So you'd think that 'Kung Pow' would be right up my alley... but no. This one was a waste of time. The first few minutes are kind of amusing, but after that the gags are unoriginal and overdone. This is not a witty parody, and it's not even mildly entertaining. I'm not quite sure what the filmmaker was going for here, but the mark was missed by a mile.

It's just not worth it -- it's just not funny. Very, very disappointed.

Love Liza (2002)

This is not your mother's film about death of a loved one

[9/10 · 11 February 2003]

This is not 'Terms of Endearment'. This film does not offer answers, explanations, or resolution, and as such I found it to be a very effective portrayal of the aftermath of a suicide.

It's not an enjoyable film to watch, but it's very much worthwhile. First off, the acting is fantastic. Philip Seymour Hoffman deserves all the raves he's getting for this role -- he's downright painful to watch. All of the supporting cast -- except for the mother-in-law portrayed by Kathy Bates, who is exhausted with her own grief -- brilliantly introduces nuances of discomfort. It's not overdone, but it's obvious that these characters are internally dealing with the question of how to deal with Hoffman's character Wilson, who has just suffered this terrible and shocking loss. The dialogue is consistently and realistically not natural, in keeping with the awkward position of the supporting characters and Wilson's deteriorating mental health.

I have seen this film criticized because Wilson's position is *so* dreary, that it may seem over-the-top, unrealistic. But, really, the character's wife recently shot herself. What bright spots were such critics expecting in this character's life at this time? I believe the writing of the plot is realistic in this regard.

Structurally, it's brave, risky, and effective. I felt alienated by the lack of explanation and resolution of Wilson's position. Not a positive emotion to walk out of a film with, but extremely powerful. The sparse soundtrack and the painfully sympathetic supporting characters all added to this feeling of alienation.

Chicago (2002)

Even if you don't normally like musicals, this one's great

[10/10 · 25 January 2003]

I've never seen the stage musical, so I don't have any opinion as to how well it was adapted from the stage medium, but as a film it was fantastic.

Not only is Catherine Zeta-Jones just mind-blowingly gorgeous, she can really sing. I had no idea, but apparently she used to do stage musicals before her film career took off. Rene Zellweger delivers a believable balance of naivete and ruthlessness as Roxy Hart. All of the performances were brilliant -- even Richard Gere, who I normally don't appreciate at all.

The most remarkable thing about this movie-musical is that it does not require one to suspend one's disbelief from dizzying heights -- the one near-universal fault among musical films, I think. The story is told in two parallel modes: one being with lifelike costumes and spoken dialogue, and the other being the show tunes belted out from outrageous feathered costumes. The latter mode is subtly placed as the Roxy's-eye-view of events, and because it is in her head there is none of the usual disorienting "...So they were singing and dancing, and now they're stabbing each other..." disconnects that movie musicals are prone to if they're not scripted, staged, and performed smoothly. This one *is* smooth, and it's just brilliant.

So even if you don't normally appreciate movie musicals, this one could have something in it for you. It's funny, cynical, witty, and visually beautiful, and it lacks many of the unfortunate traits that can turn lesser musical films into big cheesy non-sequiturs to someone who isn't a fan of the genre.

Orgazmo (1997)

Rude, crude, and hilarious

[9/10 · 21 January 2003]

Sometimes I just need brain candy. When I need brain candy, I can rely on Matt Stone and Trey Parker to deliver.

Orgazmo is full of potty humour, blasphemy, and other rudeness. It relentlessly mocks religious zealots, the porn industry, and nearly everything in between.

There is nothing good about the acting or production qualities -- in fact, the *poor* acting and production qualities add to the humour, I think, in the same way that the cheesy attempt at animation adds to the humour of South Park. The entertainment value of 'Orgazmo' lies primarily in the situation -- and even if the individual jokes are not fantastically original, the situation *is*. It's just good, stupid fun.

Think of the rudest, raunchiest of all the South Park episodes -- like the one where Cartman joins NAMBLA, or the one where the kids start a fad of sexually stimulating dogs. If you enjoyed those, you will probably enjoy Orgazmo. If you didn't appreciate the humour or found them offensive, don't bother with this movie.

Personally, my tastes are so base that I consider this one of the funniest comedies I've ever seen.

Thirty Two Short Films About Glenn Gould (1993)

Poignant look at an enigma - and lovely film making

[10/10 · 5 January 2003]

'Thirty Two Short Films About Glenn Gould' will not appeal to everybody: it is not a traditionally narrative biographical documentary, and it will not present much in the way of the facts of Gould's existence. Rather, it attempts to portray many facets of his eccentric and self-centered genius largely by non-narrative means. There are a few documentary-style interviews, but I found these to be simply providing background for the dramatizations and visuals used to bring out his character.

Gould's passions, quirks, and personality are presented with Colm Feore's decent likeness and obviously very thoroughly researched character development. Story takes a back seat to image and music, and the result for the audience is a feel for the persona of Glenn Gould, rather than the story of his life.

I am biased, as a Canadian and a lover of Gould's music, but this is one of my all-time favourite films.

Minority Report (2002)

Great fun, nice effects -- but don't expect the Dick story

[7/10 · 4 January 2003]

Probably the best role that the frequently miscast Tom Cruise has ever done. The writing, dialogue, and acting are all very good for a blockbuster science fiction movie. The effects are great, the action is exciting. The design of the world and the technology within it is believable and fascinating. All in all, an extremely entertaining science fiction movie.

However, do not go into this one expecting the Philip K. Dick story of the same name, or you will be sorely disappointed! While the movie certainly takes many of the plot devices of the story, it makes huge changes - especially in the ending - and is even fundamentally different in theme.

Very Bad Things (1998)

The worst film I've ever seen

[1/10 · 4 January 2003]

Some of the acting is not horrible -- although Cameron Diaz delivers her predictable, shallow lines with her usual wooden and unidimensional style.

Unfortunately, that is the best thing I can say about this terrible, terrible waste of time. First of all, it's tasteless -- but we all knew that, because it was marketed as a tasteless movie. Usually I like a good bit of violence, sex, and dark humour. But this film just says "Oooh, look at me, look at how risque and dark I am!" with no wit or talent to back it up. The jokes are trite and boring, while insulting the intelligence of the audience with pretensions of sophistication. The cast and crew has polished a dog turd and attempted to sell it to moviegoers as a gemstone.

My main complaint here is that this film is not honest: it tries to be something it's not. If you want to see some highly amusing tasteless humour, your time is better spent on Troma films than on this disgustingly pretentious train wreck of a movie.

Personal Velocity (2002)

Beautifully thoughtful character piece

[8/10 · 15 December 2002]

I'm shocked at how low the user rating for this film is. I really enjoyed it, so I'd like to add my positive voice to contrast with the film's detractors.

Throughout the three loosely intertwined shorts that make up 'Personal Velocity', a voice-over narrative is used to give character background. This heavy-handed tactic is the film's biggest weakness, but each plot was so absorbing and well-acted that it was well compensated for. The characters are multilayered and morally ambiguous -- real human beings that are very easy to identify with.

The artifacts of the digital video medium are, as always, mildly irritating. The cinematography has a jumpy, unfocused aesthetic, and the colour is dull. It's not a style I'm a fan of, but I love this film for the richly developed characters. On that strength alone, it's worth seeing.

The Red Violin (1998)

Sexy, sensual, stunning, exciting

[9/10 · 15 December 2002]

Rich colour and camera work complement the stunningly gorgeous soundtrack of this incredibly sensuous film. Most of the acting is top-notch. This is not a staid, reserved period piece: spanning centuries, the slightly disturbing plot moves ahead relentlessly without being disorienting or confusing.

A beautifully constructed work of art with all the action and romance (and sex and violence!) of a popular cineplex movie, this should appeal to any adult audience.

The Pillow Book (1995)

A brilliant work of art

[10/10 · 1 November 2002]

Greenaway's most accessible film to date, and yet one of his best. Heartbreakingly beautiful cinematography and brilliantly sensitive acting presents an original storyline. Visually stunning, overwhelmingly sensual and emotionally challenging.