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Justice League (2017)
Why it didn't work for me ...
1- Henry Cavill in slow motion is a HELL NO! He lacked the grace necessary for the motions and was like the Incredible Hulk with considerable clumsiness. The scenes where he would start an assault squaring his massive hairy chest and approach others with an over extension of chest muscles made me chuckle audibly. It reminded me of fat kids giving skinny kids a "belly butting" instead of headbutting. This is not the desired effect in an audience. My friends and I would laugh about it later. I think Cavill might want to learn some type of graceful art of motion like ballet or aikido or whatever it is to smooth out the clumsiness. He acted the angry scenes in a surprisingly unboring way. I always thought Cavill lacks the necessary passion to deliver "wrath". That said, I was not totally convinced but less skeptic of him. He and Lois alone have below zero chemistry and their tender moments are flat. I have seen this lack of real chemistry as a constant in Cavills movies as if he's too preoccupied with himself to engage in an emotionally intense scene. He hits a particular plateau that he can't go above. But rest assured ladies, he's as handsome as ever. He might want to fix those twisted teeth at the bottom row though if he will keep howling and growling in a close up taken from above. Blame the director.
2- Wonder Woman is offensively middle of the road. I'm sorry but I refuse to take her seriously when I can see the entire crotch of her knickers while she's fighting crime, and her butt cleft from the back. Both in close up and both centre screen. The script wanted to make her the gentle and loving glue of a team of rowdy boys but honestly Gal Gadot lacks the necessary charm to deliver on that. She's a lovely girl.. lovely juuuust enough to get the approval of the moms of little girls fans of Wonder Woman, but not that lovely that she makes a man's girlfriend jealous, and not strong enough to intimidate geeks and insecure people .. she's perfectly middle of everything and in that there shall be no wonder in Wonder Woman at all. She's supermarket quality vanilla ice cream. Eager not to dazzle.
3- Ezra Miller was annoying, boyish not in a nice way, silly rather. Bad acting and delivering some of the most irrelevant lines in superhero history! He tried to come across as the super fast flash instead his performance came across as anxious, pretentious and unsure.
4- Ben Affleck as the world weary Batman: Gtf out of here! It's not Shakespeare. He however seemed to be the only real person in the movie who had emotions that made any sense. I'm Batman's number one fan and let me tell you something; Batman has superpowers. His superpower is intelligence. He's the most intelligent superhero of them all. While all of them were getting their asses whopped by Superman and he was literally running them into the ground, Batman controlled him and got results without lifting a finger! In the comics Batman is a scientist with superior intelligence. All his weapons and technologies are his own inventions. His superpowers are intelligence and science. It is his intelligence that brings back Superman to life and his intelligence gets Superman back into action. It's his intelligence that brings the Justice League together in a first place. So stop disrespecting Batman. When Ben Affleck said that Batman's superpower was that he was rich, I thought "No, he's rich because super smart and that's his superpower. Read the comics!!
5- Jason Momoa: He's the reason why I gave this movie 4 stars just for Jason and the rest get two more stars lol .. what a feral, raw, passionate performer. Shame his role in the movie was kinda lame. More potent scenes should have been written for Aquaman instead of him street fighting with a fork!
6- The Anazonians: They came across as not the most intelligent in the bunch in this movies. Fight scenes were messy and desperate. Why do they launch their weapons at energy and why are you not remotely ready for what seemed to be inevitable? The scene were Stepoenwolf flicks their weapons off with his finger says it all. Irrelevant battle.
7- Steppenwolf: what a waste of good material. Just telling us the story of that guy at the beginning would have pumped up the entire movie. Instead, Wonder Woman sighs and moans two clichéd lame lines about who he is and that's it. And as lamely as he comes, he goes. Yaaaawn.
All that said the movie is a good pop corn movie. ... you won't be blown away but you won't be bored either.
Paddington 2 (2017)
Burberry would be proud
So in someone's fantasy, we Brits are a bunch of tartan and tweed wearing grim people who are predominantly white unless you're the garbage collector or in prison. We sound stuck up, have no sense of humour, have horrendous teeth, are severely lacking in the department of looks or imagination and live on a diet of sugar and sweets. That dreaded afternoon tea in a gilded tea cup that I'm sick to the stomach of seeing in movies!!!! A nice tourist movie that will maid Burberry proud. What a bore! I think it's for kids and the parents who don't want youngsters to ask any questions and probably lead a brain numbing life happily ever after. And Hugh Grant was dreadful.
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
God of LIGHTENING and a game of spot the mistakes!
This contains spoilers and some of the very visible and laughable mistakes you can see in the movie. First, it's not a bad watch if you're not really that much of a Thor fan. If you're a general superhero movie fan and under the age of 33-30 chances are you'll like it. But if you absolutely loved the comics, this movie will put you off American movies for quite some time. First, Thor is the god of LIGHTENING, thunder and storms, not the god of thunder alone. So it was retarded to see his enemies control him using a small electric chip that's about 120 volts (if that judging that it was used to control humans too), while the god of lightening can handle more than trillions of volts going through his body and eyes.
Second, Thor is obviously a retard. He doesn't know that he's the god of lightening. He thought he lost his ability to act because he doesn't have a hammer any more only ttill his dead father reminded him. How many years did he practice his godliness again? In fact, Thor in this movie is weak, rash, stupid, good at begging, not the smartest cookie and has the charisma of teen. I'll flash my big arms and you be impressed, OK? Please? I feel sorry for Chris Hemsworth he's gonna be stranded in this stupid role for a long time.
Third and last: They chop the beautiful blonde locks of Thor and give him a haircut that looks cheap, dark and stupid. I'm sorry but what's left of Hemsworth's head is so tiny and even more dwarfed by his massive torso. His head looks like a single lost cherry on top of a twelve tier wedding cake. Out of proportion and doesn't look right.
-Tessa Thompson acts as if she spent her entire life watching cheerleader movies. Superficial, pouty, posey and faaaaaakkkkee. She's a very beautiful woman but boy is she effing boring!
- I laughed when the Asgardian army knelt to launch their weapons at Hela (or whatever reason they knelt for) then she introduced herself and commands them to kneel. They're already kneeling. Blindness runs in the family as this is not the only time this happens.
- Kate Blanchett has never looked better. I never thought of her as sexy till now. But the acting was lame in many parts.
- Anthony Hopkins... dear oh dear... this man has been acting as if he's epic bored of the whole industry. Can he just retire or hasn't sorted out his bills yet? He's my favourite actor by inertia.. I've been waiting for at least ten years to see him show us again what he's really capable of.
- Editing errors are rife. I'm an absent minded goof yet could easily spot them. The clear change in the shoulders of Hela's costume as she invaded the Bifrost for the first time, the erratic foot positioning of the zombie soldiers on the bifrost, the positioning dots (they look like laser pen beams) on the graves of a couple of soldiers as Hela throws the eternal flame, the wrong sequence of dry/sweaty arms and face on Thor's body as he kneels to take counsel if his dead father, greasy/curly hair changes Loki suddenly suffers from as he tricks Thor before decoding the spaceship, and many more.
- Generally the acting was horrendous, the dialog a disaster and the logic messed up. However, in an unprecedented event, the music is ten times better than the movie and it's why I gave this movie 5 out of ten. Otherwise, it would be 2 stars if that
A Bad Moms Christmas (2017)
Setting back the gender a few thousand years
1- The trailer sums up all the funny bits in the movie, rest is epic crap 2- Horrendous acting 3- Brain numbing dialogue 4- Outlandish (like crazy ass outlandish not inspiring outlandish) incidents 5- Stuck up its own ass writing 6- A diarrhoea of events with no specific relation or logic
OK if that's too general for you, Carla (a very mediocre- looking middle aged woman with no education, career, wits, or any prospects of any nature) falls in love at first sight while staring at the massive penis of her fire-fighter stripper handsome heart-of-gold hunk who has a six pack, and obviously some sort or testicular condition because he does not flinch or even grimace as she waxed his balls. And he loves her back at first sight too because she "treated him like a human being not just a penis" (she didn't). Oh zo zweet! Does this part of the story go anywhere? No, why would it if the entire movie isn't going anywhere with any sort of story at all? If you're OK with this kind of bullshit, go watch it.
Every ten minutes, I wanted to shout "come on!" Stupid women, silly women, thirsty women, desperate women, crazy women. Chauvinism has no bounds!
I must add that I didn't pay to see this movie. I have an Odeon Card. I was one of three people in the cinema on a Friday night and one of them fell asleep mid- way. Enough said.
Baby Driver (2017)
Good but definitely not amazing
I found this movie to be very entertaining although lacking in brains. I wouldn't pay to watch it again or buy the DVD but for a one time watch it was more than alright.. just don't take it seriously and don't expect much in terms of depth, the Pianist, Ocean's Eleven or even Fightclub it is not! The movie builds up Baby's character to make you feel a huge and massive twist in coming to prove Baby is actually smarter than he looks. Bummer. Doesn't happen. The last third of the movie falls flat with the typical predictable stuff you already knew was going to happen. The love story was a bit too naive for me with no substance and a bit boring. The relationship between Doc (Kevin Spacey) and Baby is the most stupid Hollywood cliché shifting for no reason at all from a logical extreme to an illogical different extreme. Now that I think about it, not a single relationship in this movie seemed real apart from the disabled foster dad with Baby. Those were the scenes that gave the movie depth and beauty. Other than that, take the car chases away and you got a road traffic of a movie to watch. The dialogue and writing in general was below bar especially for Jamie Fox's character. As to why Kevin Spacey chose that mediocre role, I'll never find out. I think the writers of this movie set out writing the coolest getaway scenes with the coolest getaway driver in town then towards the end ran out of ideas.
The House (2017)
Don't watch it unless you're desperate
Different people laugh at different things. Some laugh at epic stupid gaffs and poop jokes, some find stupidity suffocating and unfunny. I'm among the latter.
Some few laughs here and there other that the story must assume we are stupid to believe any of this crap! So, the parents "suddenly" realise they don't have enough money to send their daughter to uni. So they decide with their equally broke friend to start an illegal casino. Where they get the money to start such a casino? Nobody knows. Then expansions and more expansions (work that would take contractors months to finish is complete in the same amount of time it takes for the camera to pan to the left!) but come on we don't want to get pedantic now do we? Farce after farce, more bullshit piling up by the minute ... For some bizarre reason, there's a side story about the estranged wife of Will Ferrell's friend. She gives her husband the divorce papers to sign because she had enough of his gambling and she appears to have started dating another guy. Suddenly, the wife changes her mind for absolutely no reason even after she finds out the husband is now opening an illegal casino complete with a mini brothel! Yep! A mini brothel and a DJ with pool parties that SOMEHOW don't get any attention in small town suburbia.
The movie makes every single American look like a money grabbing greedy idiot of some sort. Nobody seems to be remotely a voice of basic reason of any nature. May be if they classified this movie as a surreal story and put some flying pink elephants in it, it would've done a bit better. Amid this insanity, the three buddies start (for no reason at all) attacking town people, raiding their shops, beating them up with shoes and other objects, threatening them with soldering irons, throwing them out of their vehicles, etc etc without anyone complaining to the police, berating them, or even saying anything to them at work. And this is where I lost any respect or empathy and felt I was watching hysterical vomit.
I'm very angry that someone in Hollywood actually thinks we are a bunch of stupid losers who can happily part with their hard earned cash for this rubbish piece of work and walk away without feeling we've just been insulted or mugged by it.
Watch it only if stupid jokes and general ridiculousness cut it for you!
My Cousin Rachel (2017)
As a book lover I was disappointed
My Cousin Rachel is one of my favourite books. I was full of awe at how passionate and skilled Daphne du Maurier's mastery was. I was excited at the thought that a very skilled actress like Rachel Weiz will now bring Rachel to life. I was terribly disappointed. The movie left out key elements from the book, which is fine if the movie itself was intent on having its own direction. But it neither followed the book nor presented anything new. It felt like an edit of a better story. In the book, Du Maurier leaves us to make up our own minds whether Rachel was a murderer or not. Personally, I thought she was innocent. The movie doesn't present us with the same question. It tries but fails and instead presents us with a flat and annoying obsession from a young lad with a woman of the world. Rachel in the movie is not Rachel in the book. In the movie she's more obvious and boring. In total the whole movie is dull. Might entertain someone who didn't read the book although I even doubt that.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul (2017)
A weapon of mental torture
I went to watch it using my limitless card, otherwise I would have asked for my money back. I would not be PAID to watch this movie. It is this bad! I sat through it for one reason only: to see if I have the mental strength to endure a possible future colleague or in law who is as boring, dull, and dim witted as this story line. What the heck was that?? Studios have enough money and time to write that epic bs? The good: it ends... eventually! The bad: ALL of it! Alicia Silverstone took my will to live. Why does she exaggerate her lip movements so much to the point it looks like she's suffering from an affliction? I know she's pretending but in some scenes she just talks without the circus going on on her mouth. The movie is this bad I've taken note of the director'sname for me to never watch a movie by him ever again. .
Miss Sloane (2016)
The Good and the Bad
The good: The leading role was given to a woman, which is a major step forward in portraying an alpha female as I know they do exist. A sexy woman in high heels who looks after her appearance and looks sweet and pliable while she's nothing more than a cruel and evil human being more than capable of crushing decent folks with no empathy or real humanity. The characters are given perfect development and space.
The bad: the typical predictable turns and twists. The typical predictable Hollywood view of how studios need to comment on political life in the USA with a beautiful lie that all is well that ends well.
The script left a lot to be desired, the rapid fire dialog was unrealistic and got annoying, the actors and actresses were delivering their parts as if they were in an informational selling juicers that can juice wood; nobody is going to believe us so let's all exaggerate and hype it up. Apart from Gugu Raw and Mark Strong whose quiet, effortless and natural delivery was a breath of fresh air, everyone else was too loud, too over the top and generally REALLY annoying. The acting was that dreadful the only thing keeping me in my seat was the nachos and cheese. How was I going to walk back home with the magnificent melted cheese on a cold evening?
Would I pay to watch it knowing what I know now? No.
The Boss Baby (2017)
It could've been genius but...
For an adult, this movie is still entertaining. I thought it was brilliant till one scene if the movie ruined it for me and I was like "nooooo you stupid bastards!". Basically the movie is about a kid with a very vivid imagination who lives reality through his imagination l. The script compares segments of reality to segments told to us through his imagination. This includes when the story about the new baby arrival to his life and how the kid thinks the new baby is actually a boss from a corporation somewhere that runs people's lives. I thought this basic idea was genius and was totally enjoying the juxtaposition till the movie decides the kid was dreaming to get out of a dilemma that didn't exist. How else would they bring the baby back into the kid's life unless he was dreaming? Right? Obviously their imagination wasn't as vivid as their character. Couldn't the memory erasing squad come back a day later and reinstall the baby?
The part of the story with the nanny, evil boss, chase, rocket, etc., was also one part of "hollywoodism" that was completely unnecessary and didn't necessarily add to the movie. It went from a lovely heartwarming story about a kid trying to find in his heart some love for his baby brother and find his new place in a growing family to a "car chase" with an evil villain in a bid to save ... yup.. the world. That took the buzz out of the movie and was against all their intents and purposes really boring! There are a few laughs along the way and the script on the whole was good.
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)
The Good and the Bad
All in all this is a very entertaining movie and from this standpoint you won't be regretting spending the money. However, if you are going to watch a masterpiece, or something on par with the best in the genre, you'll be disappointed. First, the good things about this movie: it has SOME very interesting art work at the first few minutes and the last. Jude Law was brilliant given the bad material he was given to work with. The music is an excellent choice for this movie. Costumes and special effects were on the whole interesting. Some moments in the movie were epic and very well made and would have made a whole load of difference if more attention and few more details were taken care of, but the movie was busy being a fight fest to bother. The child actor (forgot his name) was great. There are about ten minutes if that in the movie that are nothing short of spectacular. That's about it really.
Now the bad: The dialog is from hell. I cringed hearing Eric Banna deliver almost identical lines from his famous and better written Troy. In fact, too many parts of the movie feel like a deja vue and not in a good way. Jude Law aside, acting was below bar. Fight scenes too lengthy, messy and boring. What bothers me the most about this movie that it could have been very easily a masterpiece with just a bit more care and attention and application of the old adage less is more (especially with the empty bravado and the questionable fighting not to mention retarded dialog).
Finally, I extend by special thanks to David Beckham for NOT acting. Stick with footie we beg you.
World War Z (2013)
It's NOT a zombie movie... It's ten times better than that!
If you like zombie movies, don't bother with this movie! It has nothing in common with zombie movies except that it happens that when the virus kills humans they start spreading the virus by biting.
So, for an avid zombie lover, the movie is an absolute disappointment. I hate zombie movies. In fact, I didn't want to go just because I was told it was a zombie movie. But I was seriously bored and I thought "Come on, cut Brad some slack. The guy is very careful with his choices". So I went mainly or the pop corn, but I was blown away by the movie.
Incredible camera work! Solid script. As usual with Hollywood for the past decade or more, scripts are not as good as used to be so I gave this one 8 out ten, missing two points as the some tiny bits in the script could have been better. But, I am definitely buying the DVD.
I absolutely recommend it (unless you wanna go for some zombie action). I loved every minute of it.
Wreck-It Ralph (2012)
My first ever 10/10 movie!
I never thought the day will come when I score a movie 10/10.. and this movie?!! I don't like CGI. I like a well-written story with well-developed characters, played by actors who respect their art. I find fault with almost every movie I watch. I didn't plan to watch Wreck it Ralph. I was at a friend's house to use his wifi when mine broke down and he had just bought the DVD. He played it and I was not interested the first minute then I was hooked! The movie is GENIUS Genius in story, story telling, script writing, switching between the world of the tiny characters, in between their little worlds, and then "our" world. The script is flawless. The imagery is lovely. ALL the characters all likable. The movie is just hilarious! I am actually going to buy the DVD to watch again this weekend. There is so much going on it's amazing.
La piel que habito (2011)
Beautiful but stupid
It's very difficult to review this movie without spoiling the story/surprises for the first time viewer. But I made a conscious effort to leave all the surprises untouched.
The good points: - Beautiful photography - Very intriguing especially at the beginning - Will stay with you for some time - Panderas left his "boyish" way of acting aside and is showing a more mature Panderas. However, don't expect much from the guy. At his best, he still doesn't have much to offer.
The bad points: - The story is very stupid, and it gets "stupider" as they keep going. - The choice of actors is wrong. Especially as the story develops, it does seem that choosing the main female character in this movie in an insult to the intelligence of viewers. They should have chosen another woman of more ... um.... different physique that might make the story hold a bit more water. - The tension built up to deliver virtually nothing in the end. - The make up working on the deformed wife.. Really? They made the actress describing her "non-human horrific injuries" sound and look like an idiot. - There were several points in the scenario that were just ridiculous! You need to be really stoned not to notice. - The acting was a bit theatrical in many cases. -The "child" in the movie was a farce. - What's with all the staring?!!!!!!!!! - Last but not least, they should have watched more Jerry Springer to get more material on the major horror in the movie. Straight men don't swing both ways. Regardless. And wearing your hair in two buns doesn't make you a child no matter how hard you stare.
Now finally, a question... Do you know any guy who runs like a ballerina, floating and stretching his feet to make his legs looks more slender on camera?
Young Adult (2011)
Boohoooring
If Charlize Theron carries on like this, she will be lucky to be the spokesperson for Wallmart.
Can she get any more boring? The movie has too much drama and too much "Theron" for it to be a comedy. The funny bits are in the trailer, the rest has got not much to do with drama. I used to be a fan of Charlize Theron till I saw two "comedies" she starred in, and to be honest, I fell off the Theron wagon. Does she laugh like the rest of us? Now, the movie itself is severely lacking a destination. There is no story. At 37, she goes back to get back with a high school boyfriend. He doesn't want her back. His wife feels sorry for her. She herself doesn't want to be in that town. She is probably just in emotional trouble due to her divorce. Then she leaves after she realises she doesn't want to be in that town. Which she knew all along any way. OK. Where is the story then? Terrible story telling. And using the novel she is working on to find a gateway to her own worth is so lame.
Congratulations, Charlize. You have succeeded in expressing yourself look very talented, very intelligent, not full of herself, and very boring! Pass.
Skyfall (2012)
They gotta be kidding me!!!!
I didn't finish this movie. I tried so hard. I tried three times. Last of which, I was half way through before I started to laugh with scenes from Carry On movies coming to mind.
The dialogue is so lame it's hilarious. The spoof was playing in my head already. Make up so bad it made me wonder what colour was the water running down their faces when/if they decided to wash them.
The costumes could not be worse. Well, they could be actually, but then you'd have to compare them to Year One. In fact, the jewellery worn by the dangerous femme fatale who can't walk straight is selling at H. Samuel's for £15.
The story has gone out of fashion twenty years ago. I mean if this scenario keeps repeating itself all those bloody years, who the hell cares any more! With every word coming out of the mouth of leading and not so leading characters, I felt a thud on top of my head. What? What the heck did they say? And all the hair dye!!! The villain's eyebrows coloured copper, his hair burnt out with too much blond bleach, and his five o'clock shadow so black... Was this the Joker lost and wandering in onto a James Bond scene? And the belle of the party... where the heck did she get all that black eyeliner from? And her delivery... god almighty.. kill me.. kill me now.
So, I went to clean the kitchen when the villain showed up and just tossed the DVD aside till my no longer friend comes to take it back.
Sorry, no spoilers as I don't know and don't want to know how it ends.
But if they ever decide to replace Craigo with another Bond who can walk straight, has more uniform ears, and looks less of a big white ape, please do hollaaaa.
Mama (2013)
Good but not really good
The problem is: I have seen far worse. I walked out of too many movies. I didn't walk out of this one. I had no complaints because my expectations were really low. Generic story with generic acting, bland CGI and a rather predictable ending. It's the Grudge meets the Eye meets the Others, meets god knows what else.
Why did it have to be a ghost, though? To start in the woods with two little toddlers left there alone in the cold, and end up with a ghost story is so lame. However, it's not a movie with the major Hollywood poop that usually gets on my nerves and insults my intelligence, nah... just another drab story.
It was a bit scary for me though. Because I am not a horror movie buff, and because I was always anticipating something to happen (which doesn't).
If you thought the grudge (the American version) was amazing, you'll like this movie. If you thought the Grudge was just about alright, so don't bother.
For Colored Girls (2010)
Traumatic not Dramatic, a BAD watch!
Great script, great dialog, great poems, great acting, great cast.. and a terrible watch! The movie will make you depressed. I mean what the heck was that?! First, there are no colored women in this movie. No Latin, no mid-eastern, Asian, oriental women, nor any kind of women except black psychotic women. They are emotionally embatteled, bruised, scarred, and every which way effed up you can imagine all in one go, in one hour and a half, and nothing funny about it or an easy watch about it. It was like watching someone skin a kitten alive very.. very sloooooowly! One woman is raped, the other is molested by her father who also molested the granddaughter whose sister is hospitalised after an illegal abortion tore her apart, whose teacher was brutally raped whose neighbor was beaten up, whose husband kills his own children by throwing them out of a window in front of her boss whose husband is gay and gave her HIV whose doctor is friends with the social worker who can't have children whose husband is taking care of the woman who was beaten.. OH COME ON!!!!!
The Dictator (2012)
Great trailer, mediocre movie
They should have hired the guy who wrote the trailer to write the movie.
I didn't find it funny.. only a few and sporadic moments here and there, and most of them are in the trailer anyway.
I am not sure why the writers had to spoil a perfect canvas for comedy to take the story from political satire about a dictator to some mushy love story that insults the intelligence of anyone watching.
What a disappointment. They had all the potential to make something that can knock your socks off but they resorted to stuff that reminded me of House Bunny. No surprise she was in both movies.
So, if you find House Bunny, Waterboy, and other crap/fart/accent jokes funny, knock yourself out.
If you were hoping for something a bit above the waist line, seriously.. don't bother.
Men in Black³ (2012)
Kinda lame
I'm a MIB fan so this movie to me is like getting out of a really nice party (part one and two) with puke on your shirt (part 3). OK, maybe not that bad but really lame enough. You won't miss anything if you skip this movie. The same worms, the same tricks, almost the same creatures, and most 3d moments are flat. There are few minutes here and there that were really good. I chuckled once or twice, didn't feel intrigued or fascinated or surprised, not once.
Will and Tommy don't look like they want to be there, Emma is constipated and utterly pointless, Boris the Animal the arch villain is so very incredibly bah! As for Nicole, girl.. that dodo you did to your hair don't do that dodo again!
Safe House (2012)
Watch if you like mindless shootouts
Taking into consideration the quality of Washington's previous movies, this is perhaps one of his worst ever. Endless shootouts with no purpose, flat done-to-death story. I was hugely surprised that this is what he has to say yes to and waste a year's worth of work for! I was tempted to leave 45 minutes later. And when I left when the movie was over, I regretted I didn't leave earlier. Miss it, and save your cash. I would really like to know how in hell this movie got a seven and why!
The movie is a long never-ending scene after scene of shoot outs (and as usual nobody gets hurt), and car chases that are very lame. One after the other, after the other, after the other, after the other. No thrill in it either. I cant bet you that in a few months time when many enough movie goers went to see it, the rating will drop to around 5.
Bridesmaids (2011)
I GLADLY walked out mid-way
Speak of self-pitying, self-indulgent, some seriously confused women in their forties acting like they are still teens. if this stuff entertains you, it bores the heck out of me. Of course this is NOT a romantic comedy. It's neither romantic nor funny.
By mid-way, there was nothing happening except a long string of silly incidents that if you throw away half the movie, you will still understand the rest!!! You don't realize you are watching a shaggy dog story till you think to yourself "hang on a second, did I just pay 8 Pounds to have some OLD nagging strangers nag in my ears for the 80 minutes I was there??? But half my friends can do that for free!!!" I found the movie disgusting. All in all, I think the kids sitting behind me laughed like 5 times in the one hour and a half I stayed there. After that, when the only seemingly sane woman in the movie started to act all doodly coodly shoodly shitey shah.. I ran. I wanted to go out long before that but I felt bad i spent all that money on that sack of potato of a movie.
Guys.. is this what you find attractive in women? If not then why is Hollywood bombarding us with all those zombifying characters for? When I saw the trailer, I thought "boooring". Then I was in the mood for going out Monday eve (tonight), so I decided to check out this website. Somebody on here (don't let me catch you anytime soon whomsoever you are) wrote that this is the comedy of the year and it's ten time better than the trailer. Not sure if he was talking about THE trailer, or he was referring than going to the movies is better than staying in the trailer. Judging by the quality, I take it he meant the latter.
If this indeed is the comedy of the year, it seems I am gonna be saving a lot of money NOT going to the movies.
X: First Class (2011)
I went in thinking "whatever" and came out thinking "wow"
I went in thinking I was going to be bombarded with effects, actors who have mastered posing, the dare-devil swagger and flat catchphrases and "attitude".
I was blown away by the movie. In fact, I liked it more than Pirates of the Caribbean on Stranger Tides. I gave it 8 out of 10 because there were few issues with the movie (particularly in the writing of the characters of Beast and Raven/Mystique, and the cartoonish silly performance of Kevin Bacon -- what's with that tin helmet? LOL) But I can see where Bacon is coming from. Most superhero movies (if not all of them) are cartoonish anyway (apart from Iron Man 1 :o)). He could not see what this movie was on paper. And indeed, maybe was it not for McAvoy (Young Professor X) and Michael Fassbender (Young Magneto), and their incredible down-to-earth and real performances, the whole movie would have been plunged in a downward spiral. Thanks to them, the movie has all the depth of a drama, while it still has all the fun of action. If more sense was given to the writing of other botched characters, this movie would have been just 10/10.
The movie is a magnificent plethora beautiful music, credible moving stories of personal trauma and struggle, the effects are not only masterful but also awe-inspiring.. with that music.. again.. wow! The British actor (McAvoy) was perhaps my most favorite thing in the whole movie. Although again with the writing, some bits here and there were self-contradictory but nothing too noticeable.
As usual in this genre, the women in the movie were "for the guys". Needless accessories and eye candies. Although, it seems Raven (in later versions) has lost a lot of "baby fat". I didn't have any special moments from her to be honest, even though her character was laden with moments that were wasted.
Watch out for Lucas Till (Havoc, the mutant wielding his fire rings), he didn't say much in this movie but in the few seconds that meant a lot, he just nailed it. Which is more than I can say for Nicholas Hoult (Beast) who serenaded the audience with an unbelievable and rather creepy performance.
Lucas Till has this jittering-demon-nice-guy mix that Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, and Collin Ferrel play with very well. Let's hope he will not be lost in a long series of pretty boy movies. Pretty boys never grow up into mature men in this career.
Insidious (2010)
Suspenseful, yes! Scary? Mootpoint
First of all, I am 38. So, maybe age is a factor. I had nothing to do this evening so I decided to go watch Insidious. I liked the reviews i saw on here that spoke highly of it, and all in all i was not disappointed. The movie will keep you on the edge of your seat. However, I did not find it thaaat scary. What I found real scary was the lady behind me who screamed at the top of her lungs every time a door was slammed open or slammed shut. I would rather say you will be startled a lot during the movie, startled rather than "scared". In the first half of the movie, what you may find scary is the fear you see and hear everywhere on the actor's faces (And perhaps behind you if that woman finds a seat behind you too). It was during the first half that I was bored with all the slamming doors and gasps leading nowhere. It reminded of the movie Scream Part 1 when Drew Barrymore was being chased outside in the garden and i was thinking "yada yada they will never kill Drew" Then she was slain and gone in the first 5 minutes. THAT made the movie. But here on this one, after a 100 slammed doors and screeching windows, I was more exhausted than scared. Then in the second half, what they are afraid of starts to show. The story is a patchwork of so many pieces you have seen from here and there, a minute from the Exorcist, a minute from the Grudge, a minute from Gothica, and indeed a minute from Saw (towards the end when the dad faces his own demons you will see what I mean). the story is nothing amazing and that heck of one single expression on every single actor's face that doesn't change! How the story is told however, is a different matter. This is not the Others, or Sixth Sense. But it is a good movie on the whole. Would I watch it again or buy the DVD? No.
Thor (2011)
Thor Fans Might Be Disappointed
Long holiday here in the UK so I added Thor to the list of the films I watched at the movies with one more to come tonight. I grew up reading the adventures of Thor, and he is my favorite superhero God. I liked the choice of the main actor. The rest of the movie did not come across as powerful enough. It was very run off the mill story. I remember the comics had some very brilliant themes and plots. It seems that Hollywood is finally coming to terms with the fact that Effects are only limited by imagination. And imagination falls short in this movie. It was OK to watch. A nice popocorn movie so to speak.. The Batman series have done Batman justice but this does no justice to Thor.