Change Your Image
davidsawyer-me
Reviews
Last Man Standing (2011)
Terrible and annoying show
I was never a big fan of Tim because I found him to be a little bit fake and phony. He never really seemed masculine so much as someone trying to act masculine. However I really did try to give this show a try but most of the jokes were flat, boring, and cliché with no real witty notions at all. The show was terrible because it had rather formulated characters, a boring premise, and the whole family sitcom thing has already over flooded the market. Also the from the set to the clothes it seemed rather plastic and cookie cutter like anything else you see today on TV. The show was also annoying because of 3 main reasons 1. is the obnoxious laugh track that they use after each and every single last line even if something wasn't supposed to be funny. And even when something is supposed to be funny it's not really funny enough to actually laugh at. The laugh track over powers the show like when someone wears way too much Cologne and suddenly no one cares how nice he looks but rather everyone is now annoyed by the stink. That pretty much sums up the irritating over use of the laugh track. Sort of reminds me of that type of person who is constantly telling bad jokes and needs to laugh at his or her own jokes to make them seem funny but everyone knows this person isn't really funny. Bottom line is this show should not have lasted as long as it did but I think that a lot of shows overstay their welcome when nobody complains but rather we turn the station and forget about the show. Then the only people posting are the one's with positive reviews which are most likely a minority of people who also don't find the show funny but perhaps are die hard fans of one of the celebrities or genres. Sometimes I suspect some of the producers and actors friends and family also constantly post good reviews which gives a false impression the show is actually better than it is... Horrible show.
Paranormal Activity (2007)
Boring at times and not scary
I really didn't care for the long drawn out random video surveillance footage in which there was no activity. Then when there was any activity it was so painfully obvious that it was fake and phony. Their acting was terrible too. It doesn't even seem like a real family so much as bad actors hamming it up. I actually never really watched any of them series until now and just really disappointed in this film. I think this movie might interest very young teens but even they see cheap tricks like this on every day television. Also a lot of their reactions to activity doesn't seem like anything real people would do. I can't give any spoilers but there is one scene where one of the girls ran up stairs instead of out of the house. In real life someone that scared in a house alone would naturally run outside. I also resent how the TV trailers all made these films seem like they were real to trick people into going to see these stupid films. I wouldn't call them stupid if they hadn't played up how great they were. I mean they are mildly entertaining but the hype is what has made this series so popular because these CGI gags aren't anything people don't see each and every day on TV or internet clips. I'm seriously surprised that this terrible movie has been turned into a series of movies. Anyway as someone who does believe in the Paranormal I feel that silly films like this make anything supernatural seem laughable. I'm very dismayed that the American movie industry the last decade has leaned heavily on CGI as a crutch and there is a serious lake of anybody that can actually act. All I can think of is the movie Idiocracy when the fake movie called "@$$" was the top film of the year. ha ha ha
The Lone Ranger (2013)
Simply terrible movie
Depp is ruining a lot of remakes with his horrible charactures of popular roles. I understand like everybody else that he is just trying to make the role his own and not trying to copy the original character but this stiff robot act is boring. Every remake he's been in he pretty much as the same persona. This movie is getting a lot of great reviews on some sites while on others it's getting really bad reviews. I tend to think that a lot of people that actually worked on this film are simply posting as random people in order to make this terrible boring movie look better than it really is. I mean this movie was so dull at parts and then after a while you get real sick of the constant action scenes. Hollywood seems to be running out of ideas and just leans on CGI explosions and special effects as a crutch. Anyway I think Johnny Depp version of the Native American (Indian) Tonto was also racist and is akin to the same thing as Black Facing when people make fun of African-Americans (Black people). And like I said this robot stiff acting he does is getting so boring. It's like when he totally and utterly ruined Willy Wonka by playing a dull souless automaton. And again like I said before I do understand that Depp is just trying to make these roles his own and most of us understand not to expect him to try to re-create the same exact characters we know and love BUT the real issue here is that he is NOT very good at it. In fact he's not good at all. He is the worst actor in the world when it comes to performing in remakes. Even if he is trying to tweak the characters and make them his own he simply destroys any role he touches. He really only has 2 personas if you think about it. One being the stiff but mousy Edward Scissor Hands and the second being a drunk Capn' Jack who acts like he's having a stroke. Then any role Depp does he tries to do variations on these two cliché' personalities he has but it's basically the same boring roles he uses in all his movies. I would like to see him star in something brand new without it being a remake only if he at least tries to work on a brand new 3rd way of acting. Anyway as far as the movie itself is concerned like I said it was boring at parts and the parts that were full of action was all just your run of the mill CGI movie magic of run of the mill explosions and defying gravity. Which is basically getting boring. And I'm someone who loves a good explosion, chase scene, or special effects in a movie but without any real substance this movie just falls flat. The dialog is terrible, the acting is terrible, you can't relate at all to the Lone Ranger because he himself is a colorless hack who doesn't really pop so much as blend into the background and is upstaged by the CGI special effects. And like I said Tonto seems more like a stiff robot and not the stoic character that Depp intended him to be. Tonto seems more like a stiff Disney robot you'd see on some ride and a rather racist looking one at that. I seriously believe that Depp has over stayed his welcome in Hollywood and that the executives are so out of touch with audiences they keep propping Depp up in front of the camera. I think once his Pirates of the Caribbean fame starts to fade they will clearly see Depp has nothing to go on. Edward Scissor hands propelled him into stardom and Captain Jack kept the momentum going but other than that he has nothing, he is nothing, and he offers nothing. He simply ruins remakes. He's a "Remake Killer".
Cool World (1992)
Great Premise But Terrible Movie!
This movie had a lot of promise but fell flat on it's face. It had a great premise, in fact I think it was a fantastic premise at the time (long before movies of today which are similar in that they use CGI which is similar to a glorified cartoon). I also liked some of the sound track and David Bowie's Real Cool World song & video actually made this movie look 10 times better than it really was. The video really over sold the movie, in fact the song Real Cool World really extremely and utterly over sold this terrible movie. At times the movie was a real snore and the acting was so lame at times it was boring. Even though it had action and a hint of mystery it was rather empathy and limp. This movie reminds me of an analogy of when a child sees a bar of bakers chocolate and asks mommy for a piece. When the mom says "it's not what you think you wouldn't like it" the child thinks that she's lying. The child is dismayed when he or she bites into the chocolate only to find that it's slightly bitter with no sweetness at all. The child is confused and grossed out... But unlike the bitter bakers chocolate there was no one around to warn us just how horrible this movie is. The trailer and the music video makes this movie look like a fantastic colorful treat full of wonder and adult themed delights. It's like opening a door to the world of possibilities in a supernatural way. It was advertised to seem a lot like the adult cartoons you'd rent at a local porn theater yet you know that it was going to be tastefully done with it's mysterious plot and premise. Yet, when you actually watch the movie it's one big let down. It's a huge disappointment and one can't help feel but ripped off. I actually lost respect for David Bowie for being part of this misleading advertising. Which coincidentally was about the time in the 1990's when Bowies once great popularity started to slip, however I can only guess that this was just a correlation. I'm not saying Bowie didn't crank out anything good after the early 90s but to tell you the truth his career is a lot like this movie. But this isn't a review of Bowie's decline since the 90s so I digress. Cool World has got to be one of the worse movies that were ever made using what was a fantastic premise. Usually a movie fails because the premise was lame to begin with but this movie had no charm, no substance, no depth, and even the shallow parts weren't even interesting. Have you ever been eating something that your cat or dog wanted just because you were eating it? But when you put a bit of it on the floor they give this puzzled look after they realize that it isn't good after all. Or perhaps you go to the store to buy a computer off the shelf and it's one of those cheaper brands - on paper it has everything that the real brands have, all the latest software. But when you get it home you keep getting the blue screen of death? Well if this movie did use "blue screen" I'm sure if you look close enough you can see an systems failure notice. It's like they were trying to ride on the coattails of Who Framed Roger Rabbit but cared nothing about plot, script, character development or remotely making this movie good. They did it just for the quick cash. And they spend more time in overselling this movie to viewers. It reminds me of the story about PT Barnum when he charged people to see the "Egress" written in fancy letters and over sold to an unsuspecting audience. Only to find out they were paying for nothing but the exit, which most people looked for half way through this movie. I guess you can sell any movie if you spend more effort on the trailer, advertising, and getting Bowie to write a song that makes the movie look a ton better than it really was. I'm not blaming Bowie entirely as I know that when he writes a song he puts his all into it, he uses it as an artistic outlet - however I wonder how could he show so much enthusiasm after seeing the movie? It seemed that he too was trying to keep his deflating balloon from slowly sinking by selling out. As a Bowie fan this really tore a hole in my respect for him. Also being a lot younger at the time in 1992 this was one of the first movies that disillusioned me. And I understand not all movies can be good it's just that this movie opened my eyes to the fact that Hollywood was rapidly becoming a rip off. In fact I think the last 20 years movies in the US have been real stinkers. I've seen better films from other countries than the diarrhea that oozes out of Hollywood or the Record industry in the US these days. Leaning on CGI (glorified cartoon images) like a crutch and auto-tuned singers singing cliché' and seeming deep sounding songs that sound like they were made from some handbook formula NO wonder people find peoples home made Youtube videos more entertaining. Heck I found FRED Figglehorn clips more interesting and FRED is over rated.
Once Upon a Time (2011)
Fantastic Family Fun!
Even if you don't have a family this is a great evening show to snuggle up to and watch. It's edgy but not so edgy that younger viewers can't watch it. It's got drama, mystery, intrigue, and adventure. It's got everything from action to romance, from scary stuff to funny humor. It's delightful and at the same time not shallow like a lot of other shows out there today. Even though this show is based on well known fairy tales they make it their own by reworking the stories but not so much so that it kills their spirit. There is also a lot of original stuff in this series too such as plot, dialog, character development, as well as a list of other great elements of a good TV series. Not since Dark Shadows has there been such a well worked and detailed TV show but not so in depth that it becomes boring or overly taxing to think about. However it gives you plenty to ponder and wonder about. There are elements in which the viewer can relate to as a human being that draws us into the characters. There is at least several characters that we each can relate to. As well as perplexing characters that even though we can't relate to them offers juicy and tantalizing admiration from the audience. I am not trying to compare this to Dark Shadows entirely but I would like to point out that in both shows there are great over crossing story lines. As one set of characters fall from view of a story or try to bring closure on plots and story lines there are other characters within the show that are on the rise as their stories curve upward. A constant cliff hanger as we wait for characters to come back into the spot light, while at the same time bringing more intriguing stories into the fold as well as character development. Similar to Dark Shadows this show relies on old stories and characters we all are familiar with, for example Dark Shadows had witches, vampires, werewolves, and zombies. Dark shadows also had time travel, magic, a soap opera feeling, and that science fiction trek up and down mountains of suspense and excitement. I see this too in Once Upon A Time, they too have a fantastic grasp on the ups and downs of good story writing of using well known images and characters however somehow making it their own, giving new life and spirit to old characters and stories but at the same time keeping their general zeitgeist of today and of yesteryear's versions of these characters. I'm usually harsh with my rating and I seldom give out 10 stars for anything but I believe this deserves 10 solid stars. Even if I'm a fan of something and want to support it I wills ill rate harshly, for example a lot of recent star trek films have been dreadful as well as 2 of their TV series. Despite my loyalty I had to rate these very low and give them harsh reviews, so I usually don't throw such fantastic reviews around or just give out 10 stars out of loyalty. Despite some of the CGI looking a little hokey in Once Upon A Time I think it's a pretty solid show and I can see this show lasting a very very long time.
The Thing Called Love (1993)
Painful cheap weekend movie to watch
This movie was cheesy and terrible. Boring dialog, cliché' premise, over used boy meets girl dialog, etc. This is one of those painful week end movies that TV networks use as filler. I hate it when I don't have week end plans and I get bored and I turn on the TV only to find this sort of boring chick flick junk. And don't get me wrong, once in a while us guys like to watch a chick flick sort of movie but this wasn't even good. Now that said I'd have to say that if you don't mind a cliché' low key & rather boring film to pass the time away then this is good for you. Or if you are perhaps some middle-school girl that's not into action and don't mind bland watered down dialog and bad scripting. Not to mention deadpan boring acting then this is probably more for you. I think TV plays movies like this on the week end so that people get so bored they leave their homes and apartments to go shopping or out to see a real movie. I was going to give this the lowest score possible but I gave it a 3 out of 10 only in that I can see that there is a group of people that might like this movie to pass the time away, must like someone may look at a poorly painted static painting on the wall in a waiting room.
NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service (2003)
Great show but Abby Sciuto is obnoxious
I actually like this show and have watched it on and off again since it started but I just can't stand the character of Abby. I know she's supposed to come off as pretentious or something but she really annoys the ever loving fork out of people. I need to turn the station ever time I see her on the screen even if I'm sacrificing some of the plot. Her stupid looking pig tails and emo/goth look don't even match her personality. She's way too bubble headed to pull off that look which makes it seriously out of context. Also the Japanese Hooker pig tails makes her look look like she's trying way too hard to be a total and utter HIPSTER! I just want to see someone cut off her pigtails. Also I think that this show is awesome without her. But when they put her on it's like they put on a clown show all of a sudden. That she should be partners with Crusty the Clown or something. It totally breaks the 4th wall with this series. I usually don't like your common garden variety detective shows that network TV seems to have an OCD over so I understand they try to shake things up a bit with colorful characters. But watching Abby with her obvious "Attention W#@r3" attitude and dress makes me want to vomit. Also like I said she can't pull off that confused Emo meets Goth look with that 1980s shallow Valley Girl attitude. It's like watching an obnoxious train wreck. I actually want to give this show a solid 10 stars but can only give it 4. And in fact if this was only a 5 star rating system I'd have to give it a 2 stars simply for the fact that Abby is stupid. Even if she's supposed to be some genius she can not pull it off. She's pretentious, annoying, obnoxious, and a CLOWN! Also it's very very very CREEPY to watch an older woman in her 40's trying desperately to act like a bubbly 20 year old girl. It's just way creepy and disturbing to watch. Sort of like watching that old movie "What ever happened to baby Jane". ha ha ha Sorry to rant so much about this one character but I think she's been pulling this show down in the rating since the get go, she's been holding them back since the start. They need to fire her and replace her with someone people would like to see more. and not try so desperately to get attention by creating such an annoying out of context character.
Loser (2000)
Lingering stench of the 1990s
Even though this was made in 2000 you can clearly see the very ugly and rather pretentious hair styles from the 1990s. Poor acting, sick jokes that are supposed to come off as "Dark Humor" but rather instead come off as some mentally dark diarrhea. Bad acting, a terrible script, a desperate cling to the 1990's styles that were already fading away by 1998 and a persistent eyesore of clothing style. Besides the aesthetics of the "creepy stalker hair" that make their heads shaped like hairy penises this movie had a weak premise to begin with. What might have been a feel good romantic comedy is a rather dull pencil. The dark parts were meant to bring the "dark comedy humor" into this film but fell short as it was out shined by the manic-depressive bi-polar contradictions and oxymoron writing of hacks that just could NOT MELD the darkness with the light. At times it was too light and come off as bleaching out of the dark humor. And likewise the darker aspects shat all over the light whimsy they so failed at. Poor character development, bad choices in actors, terrible script, and an inability for the creators to notice that the 1990's had actually ended culminates in this cranked out film that was clearly made to fill seats and obtain what little profits they can benefit from hipsters stuck in the 1990s. How they got a big name (well once big name) like Dan Aykroyd to accept a role in this toilet paper movie is beyond me. Let alone his willing to actually stay with the movie once having read the script and seen the terrible filming. However this was when his over all popularity was slipping so I'm guessing he was in it to appeal to younger audiences at the time. Though by 2000 this would have appealed to the aging mid 20-somethings that had failed out of college 5 times and had returned to college still spotting the homely hair styles from 1995. This film would appeal to them as they spend a night out at the movie theater desperate to pretend that it's still their earlier college years from the previous decade. It must be hard for those actors after all this time to come to the hideous realization that not only did their acting stink but their outrageously crappy hair styles are now immortalized forever on film. Those puke looking bangs and shaved up tight necklines that shape their heads like some sort of melting-penis phallic symbols is now an immortal embarrassment for them. Their bad & outdated taste in both clothing and hair styles for 2000 is a tribute and exasperation of the films terrible writing, plot, and half backed development. Even if I didn't spend that much time criticizing the god awful hair styles it is a symbol of the ignorant and out of of ideas writing for the time. Heck even by 1999 there were fantastic films being made like The Matrix. Times were changing from music to clothing styles, from hair styles to shoes. But this movie lingers like one of those old moldy hot dogs at a corner store rotisserie that no one wants anymore because it's past it's prime yet remains past it's expiration date. Not judged simply because it's old or out of date but it is now without flavor, devoid of any nutrition or value of any kind, and the simple site of looking at it will make you feel sick even without ingesting it. The title of this movie is meant to be self explanatory but is also rather Ironic.
Forever Lulu (2000)
The premise was it's crutch
This horrible awful movie rests on a rather exciting premise of schizophrenia. However, the movie itself actually sucks. I think the only people that like this are those pretentious types that think anything is intellectual based on shock value premises. However there isn't even shock value to this movie. Poor writing, cheesy dialog, cliché' premise, bad acting, and unbelievable character development. And what was up with that 1/2 long scene (can't give spoilers but its the one on the plane). It just dragged on and on and on with fluffy dialog and nothing all that seriously deep. Now as someone who has studied psychology I can understand the full seriousness of mental illness but this movie used schizophrenia as it's entire crutch and even then they did not do a great job at portraying it. The title of this movie says it all "Forever Lulu" because I felt like this movie was going to last "For Ever". This has got to be one of the worst films ever made, one of the most boring as well as lacking in any real psychological stimulation. This movie should have been more about being in a coma because it's intellectually brain dead. I also studied a little drama, literature, and theater in college and I know that doesn't make me an expert by any means however even someone with no theater or writing experience what so ever can clearly see that this movie is seriously lacking in any depth, south, spirit, or anything slightly moving other than what the viewer projects onto it. Any depth or cognitive incite that any viewer sees in this film purely comes from their own mind and not anything scene nor heard on the screen. This movie totally depends on the viewer "projecting" depth that isn't there. I think if they had hired the right writers, psychologists, psychotherapists, people that actually had schizophrenia, etc etc etc basically do their research and get some creative writers this movie premise could have been a huge block buster. But basically it's not even worthy to be Psychological Drama let alone a fluffy bunny feel good romp with a paranoid blonde and her aging boyfriend, who's obviously too old to play that part. No offense to Patrick Swayze may he rest in peace. But to pic him for this part just didn't fit. Maybe if he was playing her older sugar daddy type that may have been more realistic but it seems obvious they weren't even on the same age level. Anyway, this movie premise though fantastic should have called for someone who was not well known on the movie screen like a Broadway actor that could fit the role better. It breaks the 4th wall when you pick a popular pretty face to play such a deep role. I think the writers were holding back and could have done so much more with this premise but they seem to have not only lacked the skill to recognize a great premise needs a great film and they also seemed to have deliberately shot themselves in the foot. I haven't been this sickened by the drowning of a great premise since the mentally-flaccid remake of the psychological thriller Psycho in the late 1990s. Heck even a remake would make Forever Lulu look better even if the producers of South Park did it and turned it into a cartoon comedy (sarcasm). Forever (boring) Lulu leaned entirely on it's premise of schizophrenia as it's total crutch.
Star Trek (2009)
I wanted to like it but hatted it. I walked out.
I actually walked out during the last 15 minutes of this movie. I thought it was full of reworked cliché's and nothing all that unique. I understand that it's about their past and all but still it was like watching a bunch of old used up premises fused together with duck tape. I also didn't like some of the actor choices, the dialog was cheesy, and the CGI was way too busy. It was more smoke and mirrors than actual content. I'm not saying it was the worst movie ever but the Star Trek franchise seems to be dying of late. Specially after that TV series simply called Enterprise. What a sink fest that was. Anyway, the movie was flashy and had lots of action but it really couldn't hold my attention because there was no real depth or purpose to it. It was all frosting and no cake. I also don't like how they don't keep with the original styles from the past but rather use newer props yet explain the discrepancy as a matter of "style choice" in the past which just doesn't fly. It's like they aren't even trying anymore to have any real continuity. I guess they think stringing cliché' premises and reworked scenes equates somehow to what they perceive as continuity. They cared far more about CGI esthetics than depth and content. By the end I was bored and two of my friends had already walked out. I didn't follow them because I wanted to give this movie a chance. But eventually I had to leave even though there was like 15 to 20 minutes left. One of my friends was outside smoking a cigarette and I laughed thinking "hmmm this guy found a cigarette more interesting than this movie". ha ha ha Hollywood ha gotten so bad over the years. Everything they crank out is just one big CGI movie and it looks rather like a glorified cartoon full of action rather than any real acting or props. It's all rather pretty but it gets boring after a while. Like I said it's all frosting and you can only eat so much frosting before you get sick.
An Officer and a Gentleman (1982)
Great 80s classic movie
The 1980s were filled with great movies but this one was an instant classic for even back then. It had a nostalgic feel to it that gave it a yesteryear feel. This film was very moving and touching and brought a salt of the earth sort of tone to it that you mostly see in edgy movies from today. For example the very beginning was extremely edgy but done very tastefully, when Zach kept flash backing to his father not wanting to have much to do with him. Then in the present he had just spent the night in a supposed 3-way with a hooker and his Father Byron. The banter between him and his father with Byron's suggestive moves were just vague and ambiguous enough to be thought of nothing more than a man acting like a man (playing with his hand tucked into his underwear). The "Graduation-Present" lay sleeping as the father reaches for his son Zach who is leaving. A slight suggestive brush of his father's hand on his arm as he reaches for him not to leave. Not saying that any actual sexual contact was made between Zach and Byron other than the hooker between them, but it was there none the less. It gave it a haunting, touching, and emotionally charged feel. The longing Zach had for his fathers approval and to be close. Only to receive it in physical form via a female hooker, and possible incest that was only savagely and tastefully hinted or slightly suggested at. This didn't seem to scare the audience back then, but rather allow the radiance to use "cognitive dissonance" to grapple with the scene. The reason I share this view in such detail as I feel it sets a major tone for the film. It shows that Zach is trying to find something deeper than lust for a hooker (unlike his father). And at the same time trying to grow up without the nurturing his father didn't give him. He took what he could from what little attention his Dad gave him. To tear apart from that was like Velcro. To rip and tear away from the pull of one's own selfish motives and seek out something deeper. When he covered the eagle with the patch was a signal of his restraint. That he didn't want to be too free. But rather more focused on his own life and goals. I have more to say on this but I've written a lot already. This movie had so many different aspects (both hidden and obvious) to talk about that I couldn't point them all out in just one review. It was a great dynamic movie. And at times even underrated. But it did get plenty of accolades right from the start. Great love story between a man and a woman, great coming of age movie, great drama, very good writing, and had a awesome soundtrack.
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
One of the most under rated horror movies ever
I think that as a horror (slash) spoof (slash) comedy that this movie though extremely popular to this day has also been under rated. This was a well executed horror film. It also worked great with the brains eating spin. Also when the zombie explains why they eat brains gave it a sort of realism which added to the Science part of it being great "Science-Fiction". This movie was not only truly scary and disturbing but it was very comical as well. It also had some fantastic "tee hee" moments as well. Like when the kids ran up the basement stairs to get away from one of the zombies. What I mean by "tee hee" is that nervous kind of laughter like when you are kids and someone is playing the monster. Some part deep in side of you always actually gets scared even though you know it's not real. You laugh with a bubbly yet nervous "tee hee" or "Eak". I think that is what made the original Night of the living dead opening so great. when Barbara's brother was teasing her about the old man being a zombie. Then he turns out to be a real zombie. Sorry for any spoilers if you haven't seen either movie but I'm sure 90%+ of us have seen both by now. I sort of liked the other "Return of the living dead" films but they just can't hold a candle to the original. It's sort of like any movie from the 80s. There were a lot of great films like Poltergeist but the sequels fell short of recapturing that spark. I think that The Return of the Living Dead (1985) was & is one of the all time best horror comedies out there. Even with some of the effects being low budget or cheesy it was the 'way' in which they had them perform that made this film great.
Two and a Half Men (2003)
A lot better now
I was never a big fan of this show even though I would watch it from time to time. But when they got rid of Charlie Sheen it made it a lot better. I always thought that Sheen's acting was a bit forced and fake. I simply didn't buy into his acting. Even though he was a lush in real life there was still something phony about Charlie. However at first I was highly skeptical of their hiring Ashton Kutcher he actually turned out to fit right into the show as well as give this show new life. I actually wish they could have used Ashton in instead of sheen all along. But back in 2003 he would have been too young. The sad thing is however it seems like Jon Cryer is slipping past his prime as well as some of the other actors. Though the show resonates with perfection now, but is it too little too late??? Im not sure. All I know is that I find that I like this show more without Charlie Sheens phony acting. He never resonated with the show. Sheen felt more like a puzzle piece from another puzzle that they forced to fit the show (with a hammer). Like I said, I was skeptic of Kutcher at first but he seems to fit in perfectly. Ashton seems more natural and believable. He even resonates better with Jon. I'm still not a huge fan of the show but I think it's a lot better now. Also Ashton is a lot more masculine than Charlie. For example Sheen's attempt to act masculine didn't ring true. Always crossing his legs on the couch, acting like a bitch all the time. I know that was part of his character to be a sarcastic punk but he didn't come off as masculine so much as catty. Whereas Ashton's playful persona comes off as masculine, though more boyish than manly. Charlie seemed more like a lesbian trapped in a mans body... and even then I've met lesbians that can pull of the masculine act better than Charlie Sheen. I say goodbye to a bad choice. I believe that it was Jon and the other cast that obviously held up the show to begin with. Now the show is even better with a superior choice of Ashton Kutcher. Before I would have given this show a 4 out of 10 stars (though I liked the premise from the start) but now I give it at least a solid 8 out of 10.
Go (1999)
Worst movie ever
I have no clue why horrible 90s movies get such high ratings. It was the worst decade from movies ever. Actually this film was from 1999 but it looked more like it was filmed in 1991. It was sort of like the 90s trying desperately to cling onto it's worn out style. Anyway the plot acting characters script was all simply terrible cheesy and didn't even have camp value. No wonder our local CW station plays it for week end filler. Usually on Saturdays they will play old movies that are terrible. I guess they realize that moves people are out doing stuff. But once in a while I have the misfortune of being stuck home on a Saturday afternoon and having to watch such dreadful garbage. Not all movies from the 90s were bad but most of them seemed like they were overly focused on the grunge style as a total and utter crutch to support it. With a total lack of real script, premise, and plot these horrible films were just cranked out of Hollywood one after the other. It was like a decade in which they weren't even trying at all. Even a lot of cheesy stuff from the 80s seemed like Hollywood was actually still trying back then, but by the 1990s it's like Hollywood gave up. Id have to say though that after 2000 movies started getting better and better. But back in the 90s most of it was nothing but trash. And even if 'trash' was the point it wasn't even good trash. ha ha I think this movie was out of place too for 1999 because by then styles were starting to change and yet this movie has a total 1991 feel to it. So not only was it typical 90s garbage but it was out of style even for it's time.
The Amityville Horror (2005)
Seriously lacking
Even though it seemed to have a lot of elements of a good movie this fell flat on it's face. As remakes go or what ever this continuation was of the Amityville saga it was terrible. I watched this last Halloween with a friend because we got in the October mood. Well, this movie was one big disappointment. Also I am getting so sick of Hollywood leaning on CGI as a crutch for everything they do. No matter how detailed the CGI is it always seems rather cartoonish and continues to break the 4th wall. I know this saves money on budget and allows them to do stuff that they couldn't otherwise do with props or real special effects, but I just don't like CGI unless the entire movie is one of those CGI Animated movies which is meant to look like a glorified cartoon, or an episode of some sci fi movie in which the laser beam is CGI. Anyway, This movie is like chewing your favorite piece of gum but it's the sugar free kind. Sure it still tastes like strawberry and it still tastes sweet, it even chews like the real thing, but in your mind you since that something is amiss, you feel that something is wrong. You just know that it's fake. Just like a fake piece of gum this movie seemingly has most of the elements of a good movie but something is missing from the acting, the filming, the script, the house, the props, but you just can't place your finger on it. You just know that it's missing. Have you ever bought a cheap Family Dollar brand of Kool Aid. It may have a vibrant pink, red, or purple color. It may mix well. It may smell super sweet. But when you drink it, well... it tastes bland and ambiguous. You think to yourself "hmmm if I wasn't told this was Cherry and if it wasn't Red I couldn't tell what flavor this was supposed to be". It has a faint, vague and ambiguous flavor that without the dye and perfume you could not discern what flavor it mimics. The 2005 Amityville Horror is nothing more than a cheap dollar store knock off of the real thing.
Allen Gregory (2011)
Simply terrible
I think that this is one of the worst animated shows I have ever seen. The jokes are flat, the characters are obnoxious, and it has not real intellectual content, let alone anything remotely funny. This show was neither ha ha funny nor was it even intellectually the type of funny that makes you think. I like sarcastic humor so it wasn't missed on me however this wasn't actually funny. It's going to take more than sarcastic insulting characters to make people laugh. I'm not sure where they wanted to go with this series but it never took off. I'm glad it got canceled because it was taking up valuable air time to which something funny could have been put on. I seriously hope they do not try to bring back this show again because it was too painful to watch. I try to give a new show a chance and watch its entire first season but it felt more like work just to force myself to watch this horrible show. It was simply terrible.
Friends (1994)
Very cute show but very over rated
When I first saw this show I hated it. It gave me the impression that it was a bunch of spoiled out of touch hipsters living in an expensieve new york apartment. However my roommate, who happens to be older than me actually liked the show. So I gave Friends a chance and after a while it grew on me. Specially when I found out Fibi Buffet was once homeless. Though her character doesn't act like anyone that was homeless that I've ever met even if they are now in a home. I found it a cute premise but still out of touch. Joey was cute and sexy even though they overplayed how good looking he was. He was cute but not handsome by any means and besides he was kinda short. Anyway, I watched it off and on for years but I am so sick and tired of TV stations playing this in re-runs over and over again. I'm now sick of the show again and hate it once more. I did go through a spell where I liked the show but I really didn't feel for any of the characters no matter how deep they tried to pretend to be. I still found them all fake and phoney. Now in 2012 almost two decades since the show started it seems that local stations are contractually obligated to play this series to death... or I should say way past it's death. There are newer fresher funnier shows like 30 Rock that have jokes and humor of today in 2012 and not from a decade that people don't act like anymore. I wish more TV stations would play newer shows like 30 Rock or something else. One reason I got rid of cable was the limited handful of reruns they owned. Don't get me wrong I love re-runs but there is such a tiny supply of shows on TV these days. On the internet there are hundreds of shows to choose from while that dinosaur TV hits us over the head with shallow peppy plastic shows like Friends. I don't care how deep they tried to come off that show was total and utter phoney garbage. Now who ever owns the rights to Friends is forcing the local TV stations to play them over and over again until we all die a little inside. I know I can turn the station or go back to the superior internet. But there are times when I come home at night and would like to turn on the TV and have them present me with something enjoyable, fresh, today, and actually funny. Sure the characters on 30 Rock come off as hipsters too but they meant to be hipsters, they are meant to be absurd. And that's what makes it funny. But Friends is so obnoxiously transparent I can't believe that it has the TV contracts that it does. It's a cute show but so aren't a lot of things. A plastic doll is cute but that's all it is. Plastic. If Friends were to disappear forever I for one would not miss it at all. If I ever see this show again it will be too soon.
The Perfect Score (2004)
Horrible
It would have been easier if those kids had simply studied like they were supposed to instead of blaming tests. The ton of work they put into risking their lives and futures to break into a building to take a test that simply to cheat is a horrible premise. This show was not making any rebellious statement or moral story of any kind shape or form. Since there was nothing else on TV to watch I happen to come across this stupid movie and thing that its got to be one of the worst premises ever. These kids could have could have done the make up exam and still had enough time to study aka brush up. Also if they were going to do that terrible on the tests anyway this didn't deserve to pass. It's not fair to those who spent their young lives actually studying. I hate the whole "lets blame standardized tests" premise anyway. It's not at all like people think it is. This is just a movie for those who are jealous of those who mutually study and work for a living. Not some dumb jock that happens to be a idiot savant at math and would have passed the test anyway, or some blond 4.0 student that has a mental impairment. She needs therapy not a stolen test. If she's that screwed in the head she's probably not going to make it in college or the career world anyway. And do we really need another Asian Stereotype in a movie? Just got to love hollywoods bigoted and racist stereotyping. I didn't do well on my SAT test but over the years I was given a ton of chance to make up for it. I also hate the fact that movies like this make community colleges or state universities look like scumbag schools when they are not. State colleges and community colleges have cranked out some very successful pillars of our society. Not to mention there are a ton of famous, rich, smart, intelligent, famous inventors that never even went to college. But anyway, like I said, it would have been easier and far less work if the kids simply studied like they should have or at least crammed before the make up. This movie is a big FAIL!
The Presidio (1988)
Entertaining
Entertaining. I forgot all about this movie until I saw it today on TV as a Sunday Afternoon movie. I'd have to say that if the movie was intended to be serious they sort of failed. The opening series of events from the cop playing it dumb and getting shot to the cop cars crashing one after the other sort of reminded me of the episode of Monty Python in which they did a skit called "Sam Peckinpa's Salad Days". A routine garden party goes terribly wrong. All in all I'd have to say the Sean Connery was still looking pretty good even in the late 80s. I thought that the storyline and premise were OK but a bit cliché' even for way bay then. However if you are willing to over look the terrible dialog, the almost comic level of tragedy, and some bad acting this is a good movie to watch if you are bored and having nothing else to do. Or if you are in the mood to play something in the background while your doing week end house work. I am not saying it's a terrible movie but the first 15 minutes of the movie made me laugh. I am guessing it was meant to shock the viewer with it's tragic car accidents but it felt more like I was watching Porky's than a serious movie.
Family Guy (1999)
Mixed feelings
10 years ago I would have given this show a solid 10 but now my opinion is dropping. This show used to be so funny, witter, clever, smart, and the animation wasn't that plastic looking as it is today. Now the show is just getting preachy as they push angry political, religious, and other opinions on the public. I don't mind them touching upon taboo subjects because they always have, it's just that they are going about it so humorlessly these days. For example 10 or even 5 years ago they would have had quick paced funny scenes in which it made us laugh & think at the same time about taboo subjects. But now they don't try that hard anymore to make us laugh so much as preach at us during the entire show. I still give this series a 7 but I feel like I'm being too generous, however I am taking into consideration the first 5 to 7 years of the show. I miss the old days of Family Guy before McFarlane became a bitter old man.
Night of the Comet (1984)
I love it
I think this is a very under rated film only because people have taken it out of context. 1. It was meant to be a teen movie that appealed to younger audiences (of that time). 2. It wasn't exactly a zombie movie. So a lot of people were annoyed that there were a lack of zombies in this film thinking that it was just another zombie film. However this was more of a "End of the world" premise. 3. What flies under the radar is that unlike other films with zombies in it, the characters had more than 1 enemy. In most movies that are zombie based back then usually there was only 1 enemy (the zombies). But in this movie a team of scientists slowly turning into zombies were also the enemy. Though in more modern day movies with zombies in it like Resident Evil there is more than 1 group of enemies. But back in the 80 this dynamic was rare. 4. It was almost a self-parody of the 80s by the 80s in that it was both humorous and scary at the same time. A lot of people love darker, or I should say cliché' scary movies in which the characters, story, and other elements are overly dark and menacing oozing with negative attitude... are those who want things to be unrealistic. However I found Night of the Comet to be just as how some teens might have acted back in the 80s. Now a days, everyone in a scary movie has some connection to a dark past and are cliché' James Bond turned Emo type characters. Or even if they are everyday people they all have the same fake-cliché-dark attitudes like in the remake of Dawn of the Dead 2004. I like it better when the characters act more like people would in real life (for their age and generational groups). I'm not saying all teens in the 80s acted like the girls in Night of the Comet but they did capture the spirit of how most kids would in their demographic. This gave it a sort of realism. In today's horror movies, you mostly get a bunch of Emo, Grunge, or Goth attitudes even in the plain clothed characters. I don't mind a couple edgy characters but when all the characters act like that it takes away from the realism. OR it's like if you have that 1 main character that is Cliché' to the max like in "The girl with the dragon tattoo" it's overly stereotypical and ever so used up. Even though the girls in the movie Night of the comet were sort of cliché' they actually depicted what a lot of girls in 1984 acted like and was more realistic. Also in today's movies they portray scared people as always getting tons of tattoos, scares, piercings, etc etc etc. and I have to tell you I know a lot of people in real life that are very emotionally scared and they don't look like rejects that shop at Hot Topic. I myself have been through a lot in my life, a lot of stuff that as emotionally scared me that I'm in therapy for BUT you don't see me running out and shaving my eye brows. ha ha ha I miss the older movies, yes they could be a bit CAMPY but they had a better range of characters and they were more true to real people for that day and age. They also knew how to hold a camera steady back then and not shake it violently to compensate for the lack of scary stuff like in todays films, that seem to lean on quick jerky camera movements and poorly lit shots to compensate for the lack of imagination. Or lean heavily on cartoon looking CGI as a crutch.
Bob's Burgers (2011)
I see GREAT potential
I would not say this show is a perfect 10 by any means. Not yet at least. And I only liked half the shows of the first season. I didn't like the pilot. I did like Ep 2 of Season 1 titled "Crawl Space" Louise really makes you laugh. There was a point at which I wouldn't have minded if the show was cancelled however there is/was something about Bob's Burgers that kept me watching. I hated some of the episodes and gave the show bad reviews but I also gave good reviews as well. I think a lot of people have that same Love/Hate for the show. I do however see great potential for the show if done right. I'm not exactly sure what "right" means for this show. I just know that the characters and premises are ready to go far and do great things. I can clearly see Bob's Burgers still being on TV 10 years from now if done right. However they are walking a fine line right now and I can see them just as easily being taken off the air just after only 2 seasons. The excitement is mounting. This could be another Fox gem like Family Guy, American Dad, or even a huge phenomenon like The Simpsons (I know a lot of people will disagree with me there but I see fantastic futures for these characters, writers, actors, Fox) OR this could be yet another failure like "Allen Gregory" or "Sit Down Shut up". This show is more than a cartoon, more than a sitcom, it's a GAME that could be won or lost depending on how they play. In fact I think it's more than a Game. It's more of a LIFE force that could grow or get snuffed out. It has the potential to go very very very FAR! If and on IF it's done right. Now that said I don't want the fun to be taken out of it either because I think part of it's "potential" and "success" rests on it being FUN. I can really sense that some of the writers, producers and actors have their heart and soul in this TV series. Again I actually have a LOVE/HATE point of view with this show. But it's like I'm watching TWO different shows depending on how you look at it. It's like watching a sports game or a political election. You have the side you are rooting for and the side you are rooting against.... however in this case both sides are meshed together to what we call "Bob's Burgers" a boorish yet very perplexing cartoon with well developed characters that still have far to go. It's a paradox that needs to be worked out or come in terms with. You can destroy one side without destroying the other. Anyway, I might end up hating season two which starts tonight on Fox or I may end up enjoying it. Long story short.. too late... If you look at the show just right and don't underestimate it you can see what I'm talking about. But at the same time you can't over think the show either, also depending on how you look at it. Anyway, Love it or Hate it we are all waiting to see how it will turn out. Will it fizzle out or as the 80s song says be "a whisper to a scream"!
It (1990)
Good for it's time
I wouldn't say it's a perfect 10 nor am I a huge Stephen King fan but I do recall thinking this TV mini series was very scary. Or at least extremely creepy. I think IT was a very good film for back in the 90s and reflected peoples fear of clowns and the unknown, even as adults we all have our hidden fears of the dark and of scary creepy things. I think that Penn ywise is one of the best evil characters ever to come on TV and Tim Curry played the part very well. He has such a dynamic range of character and was a "wise" choice, pun intended. I live in Maine, the state where this story takes place and for a while this movie gave me the creeps. I wouldn't say that I thought it was a great TV movie but it was certainly entertaining.
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
Stupid movie
Terrible jokes, terrible writing, terrible main character, just overall horrible. Even though this was a 2004 movie it was like the writers were stuck in 1994. Just horrible. And that kid and his hair makes me want to puke. I think this has got to be the worst film ever made. Now Fox wants to bring us a cartoon version of this terrible premise that only appeals to drug addicts and alcoholics who would think anything is funny. I hope that fox cancels the cartoon version of this horrible movie or else I'm just going to block Fox from my TV all together. They have a few goods shows but are cranking out some real stinkers. This movie has got to be the most stupid film ever made that only appeals to the brainless zombies that like stuff they might see on MTV.
Space: 1999 (1975)
Work of (science fiction) art
Though the show had it's problems it was basically ahead of it's time for the 1970s. There is a difference between the seriousness of the season one and that of the comic book feel of season two. But I feel that if there was a season 3 it would have found a great middle ground between the two feels. I guess from what I understand that show might have been cancelled due to the creator using the show's budget for another show, thus cancelling Space 1999. Though the title needed work as well as other aspects, it was a fantastic work of art for it's time. Even by today's standards it's got a great plot, script, characters, themes, premises, and elements of exciting writing. However some of the unappreciated slower parts only added to the shows depth. Most shows these days have action from beginning to end to capture our attention, however I feel this show had a great combination of lulling moments that crescendo to excitement. I so wish that a Space 2099 could be made, however I worry that it would fall victim to today's cliché' TV style. The opening title sequence and music were one of the best openings to a sci-fi show ever. The overall premise of Moonbase Alpha being under the mercy of it's uncontrolled flight path is fantastic. The characters/crew do their best to deal with lifes obsticles having no choice but to face them head on. I've found this to be very true in all our lives. We can still create our own lives, we can still have control over a lot of things while at the same time understanding that life moves us in a line from Birth to Death. It's up to us to face what's in between. This premise is not only touching but also very original. The premise gets a 5 star alone. I give a total of 10 stars for the entire package... despite my not liking season 2 as much as season one (however each season had it's fan base). I only wished that they had made more than two seasons. I have great childhood memories of watching this show. I grew up in a small town in Maine (USA) were most things were very country feeling. Though my state had a lot of 'transplants' from out of state such as my mother who was from Brooklyn NY. A mix of people gave our secluded community a rather perplexing feel. A lot of people running away from big city life only to find they needed to face their problems no matter were we go. Even though I was born in Maine I could totally relate to the fact that we don't always have control over avoiding life's collisions.