thereal_fozzy-1 Reviews

Benediction (2021)

One of the best scripts I've ever witnessed

[8/10 · 10 March 2023]

The title says it all. The film has a lovely period set design, great costumes, wonderful acting & a very interesting plot but the script is by far this films strongest aspect. It is just absolutely wonderful. The monologues, the conversations, the back & forths are just sublime.

As LGBT cinema goes it's truly nice to see one where sex isn't a focus but is instead the emotion & bond between the two main characters & I don't say that because I don't want to see two men getting it off I say that as someone who watches a lot of gay cinema & is happy to finally see something different in this broad-church genre.

Pinocchio (I) (2022)

Unnecessary

[4/10 · 8 September 2022]

So this film starts of relatively pleasant. It stays loyal to the original Disney animated film from 1940 & clearly wants to remain loyal to it because there's absolutely nothing different about Pinocchio himself. There were some really great Easter Eggs with Geppetto clocks, no spoilers. Really enjoyed Keegan-Michael Key's Honest John & pleasure island was really imaginative if not a little far fetched. In all it's 90% the same story & if you've not seen the original there's nothing to not like about this...

So let's talk about it if you *have* seen the original & everything from my perspective that was totally unnecessary. Starting with when we see Pinocchio actually go to school. He goes all the way to school after knocking Honest John & Gideon out but he ends up getting kicked out by the teacher for not being a real boy; this defeats the purpose of the temptation offered to him by Honest John, completely makes it meaningless so why do it? He's then tempted again by them to go & be an actor (where he sings the famous song) but this detour makes the messaging of knowing right from wrong meaningless because Pinocchio was left without the choice of doing the right thing!

Nest: There's a new character introduced at Stromboli's puppet show. A girl puppeteer with a leg brace who wants to be a ballerina. What is her purpose? To act as Pinocchios conscience & fill in for the blue fairy while he's in the cage & I don't understand why we needed her in. The actress does a fine job & I've nothing against her but there's no need for the character narratively (although as I write this I'm wondering if maybe in the original book was there a girl who does exist & help Pinocchio escape the cage?) because the blue fairy nor Jiminy play the part they do; Pinocchio just seems to realise lying is bad on his own but not before finding out that he can lie to help himself get out of trouble. This bit bothered me for two reasons because one we've seen Jiminy jump about like crickets do for half an hour already but in this scene he suddenly can't jump a short distance from Pinocchio's nose to the key which prompts Pinocchio to lie to make his nose grow so Jiminy can reach the key. This is just awful messaging. Why have they decided to do this? It just completely destroys the message of the story & what it means to have a good conscience. Pretty sure "a lie grows & grows until it is plain as the nose on your face... but it's okay to lie if it helps you get out of trouble you got yourself in" wasn't in the original nor is it a good moral for kids to learn.

And sadly I need to say that hand drawn water from 1940 looks way better than some of the frames of CGI water from 2022... Disney need to learn that CGI isn't the be all & end all. Surely they could've brought in some real puppeteers to give us a real puppet show? Is that too much to ask? It would've been a little bit more special to see something actually real in this movie. If Disney want to make a series of live action remakes it's time to start actually putting in live action.

Hubie Halloween (2020)

Why?

[1/10 · 14 October 2021]

Just stop giving this lazy, parasitical, contemptuous, unfunny, untalented, dried up, washed out & burnt out coattail riding grifter hack work. It's a waste of everybody's time time, it's a waste of everybody's money & it's a waste of the RAM the film is stored on.

Mongrels (2010–2011)

Give it a go...

[9/10 · 14 August 2010]

OK, if your looking through Mongrels to see if its worth watching on BBCiPlayer or whenever its re-airs then I'm going to tell you go for it, its like Shameless meets the Muppet's with the characteristics of Family Guy. At first I to thought it would be one of the ghastly shows BBC 3 produce, but I was wrong and I am proud I was because I love it.

Who can't love a metro-sexual fox, Nelson who's main companion is a Siberian or Russian cat called Marion, who was modelled after a shirtless picture of James Cordon. Also we are given the delightful character Destiny a diva dog who is very much the character who reflects of all the modern day brainless low self-esteemed girls who what nothing more than fame and beauty. Finally we have a paranoid cynical pigeon Kali and a Fox Vince who is crude, racist and "potty mouthed" in almost every single way.

Being Human: All God's Children (2010) Season 2, Episode 8

What An Ending

[10/10 · 28 February 2010]

When television series leave cliff hangers or open endings at the end of the final episodes of a season they do not come better than this. The very last scene was an utter shock and the return of a character we thought dead is just brilliant. The ending on Michel's vow gives us an insight to season three, now to be (apparently) set in Cardiff, can't wait.

If your not familiar with this series, and your a fan of Twilight or True Blood than give this a go, it is pure entertainment. The acting, the characters, the plot and story makes this the best show on BBC3 at the moment.

The Final Destination (2009)

Car Wash Kils People?

[3/10 · 30 August 2009]

(This is reviewing one scene of the film, not the film entirely) If you have seen the advert of the film, and you can recall the one clips, or the scene where the young woman with her head in the car sunroof moving towards the "PADS" of the car wash, then your eyes don't fool you. It is true that in the film a young woman goes and gets her car washed, things don't go to plan and so on. Eventually she tries to escape from the car gets her head trapped and is literately begging "No" as the car moves closer and closer to the rotary brushes. Imagine the pain she would have gone through being scrubbed by those cloth brushes!

But is not only the actresses doing the makers of the film give intense music and try to give the audience an adrenalin rush as her friends go to save her. I can't see how anyone would be scared being hit by one of the brushes in a car wash, I would like to end though by asking, how in the world can anyone be killed or physically scared by something made of cloth?

We Are Klang (2009)

The Modern Day 'Young Ones'

[8/10 · 22 August 2009]

Remember the Young Ones, the short lived surreal sitcom is remembered for the slapstick and over exaggerated performances along with being one of the first 'Alternative' comedies. In the BBC Three comedy We are Klang has taken everything most audiences love about the classic comedies and sitcoms and put it into there own. There are similar characters to sitcoms such as Blackadder and The Vicar Of Dibley. I am mostly referencing Baldrick and Alice Tinker, their 'intelligence' and 'stupidity' is very similar to the character Marek, who is a minister without a portfolio. He is pushed about by the other two characters, and is the victim to slapstick violence such as being hit by a sledgehammer or repeatedly hit by Greg and Steve. One of his characteristics, which shows the audience the level of his intelligence is to lift up his desk only to have everything on it fall of onto the floor and when he puts the desk lid back down he is completely oblivious to where all his belongings have gone.

Well apart from having an actor who looks like Rick Mayall, the actor does surprisingly have the same energy as Mayall along with his loud voice and postures. There are also parts in the show where the plot goes nowhere and its just all about making a laugh, such as the final episode in series one, where the entire episode turns out to be a dram of Marek's. Remember Alexei Sayle as Balowski in The Young Ones and how he would have very random scenes, well the show is kind of like that, for instance the three main characters play a minority of residents of Klangbury, where the show is set, such as a pair of old racist women and other comical stereotypes.

The funny thing is, in parts that make you flinch and think 'Oh my god!' you can tell the actor/writers know that's what your going to think. In episode two 'Crime' Greg is tied to a chair and is told by a juggling criminal mastermind that juggling is a diseases, where Greg responds with 'Are you trying to tell me that juggling is catching' and both break the forth wall by looking in to the camera with cynical looks on their face. Another example is the health and safety officer, played by Steve Hall builds and organises operations around Klangbury, in most episodes where Greg is labelling a point (which is often a joke or a gag) Steve will say the punch line of the joke in a sarcastic tone, as if it was obvious what the joke was. In other occasions in episode five he made the "B.N.P" which stand for "Be Nice to People." If your one of those who likes alternative, slapstick and exaggerated comedies, than this is recommended for you.

The Hills (2006–2010)

Real... No. Acted... Yes Scripted... Kind Of.

[1/10 · 5 July 2009]

OK to begin it is not real; everyone in this is an actor or actress who does not do a very good job of it. Most of the acting is just deprived because of the script. It seems that just before they film a scene or a part of an episode they will just tell the actors what to say and do because all the actions and speech is delayed or somewhat paused. There is no way in REALITY that people in L.A. or anywhere in the world would talk like this. (If you have ever seen Bryans girlfriend from family guy then she is a classic example of how all the girls act on the show.) I have never actually watched an episode from start to finish but I figured out that a fight in this REALITY is two girls chatting then one walking out the room, walking back in, then they both discuss how they feel about each other and bitch over who said what in the first place. Also a typical day is waking up, having your photographs taken for a magazine, staring in an advert or beauty show, Resting on a beach, meeting with friends, falling out over nothing anyone would in REALITY, saying sorry and making it up by having a party with no alcohol or drugs-like real teenagers in western culture.

Being English I wouldn't use the term deuce bags to describe the guys, i would call them wa****s. Again, in REALITY people don't, especially when its friend to friend don't keep using the words "Well I feel that" or "I think that she feels" it is just bulls**t and a typical example of escapism T.V. where girls with low self-esteem watch and dream of living in the hills. But as someone has also commented, these rich brats only have what they have thanks to their parents and to be fair the cast holds an average I.Q of 40 between them all.