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Reviews
Clerks II (2006)
Kevin Smith = Most Overrated Writer/Director of the Past Twenty Years
Yep. Although he seems like a nice enough guy to grab a beer with and shoot the gab. Unfortunately he can't write dialogue and I'm tired of the same tired old clichés and flat jokes he trots out every two or three years to keep his mouth-breathing perpetually pubescent fanbase satisfied. Was I expecting an enlightening experience from Clerks II? Of course not. But I was expecting a few laughs, and I didn't get them. A couple of chuckles here and there, but nothing I wouldn't get from listening to drunks outside my window on a Friday night. And that's unscripted and free of charge.
Atom Egoyan is often nailed by critics for overusing his questionably talented wife in lead roles, but he's got nothing on Smith. Good lord. Having to watch Emma and Dante make out stands as one of the most unpleasant things I've ever had to bear witness to. The "boob" flash was the runny icing on the dried out cake. I had to stop the movie and check the IMDb to see who she was and how on earth she was cast as Rosario Dawson's competition. Not much of a contest. I mean, fair enough, it's admirable that Smith is looking out for the love of his life, but damn. A hint of verisimilitude couldn't hurt could it? Rosario Dawson vs. Veiny Cokehead Anorexic Washed-Up-Porn-Starlet looking girl doesn't really come off as a fair fight. But I'm being mean. Sorry. But in all seriousness, get that woman some friggin protein. For the love of god.
So yeah, I didn't like the movie. But who cares, right? Kevin Smith's legions of fanboys will keep him warm and safe at night, and are most likely yelling "EFF OFF!" and "LIKE YOU COULD DO ANY BETTER!" at the computer screen as they read this.
Hopefully he'll retire from film-making and concentrate on blogging.
We Jam Econo: The Story of the Minutemen (2005)
Outsiders within an outsider's community
Excellent doc for minutemen fans and anyone, I suppose, who appreciates inventive, challenging music delivered with skill and intensity by three very talented yet humble dudes. Tim Irwin, with the aesthetic of his subject in mind, keeps things rolling at a brisk pace, offering a lot of information in a short period of time through a combination of archival show and interview footage of the band, and fresh interviews with their friends and contemporaries. The dominant thread running throughout the film, however, is Mike Watt's tour of San Pedro accompanied by his history of both the band and his friendship with D. Boon. In the words (probably) of Richard Roeper, "a genuine film about genuine people, Roger?"
Pumpkin (2002)
very confused film...
First off, I'll be honest: I actually shut things down a half-hour into this steaming pile of a film, so I may have missed the life-altering payoff that was bound to happen at some point. Right? Whatever. The campy overacting and stilted delivery of the actors made me assume this was some sort of Waters-esquire satire, but then it would bash you over the head with honeydripping earnestness thus muddying the waters. Make up your mind, director guy. I'm all for complexity, but Pumpkin falls into the realm of the merely confusing. Christina Ricci -- whose performances I normally enjoy -- didn't do anything to help the situation either. Now, the problem may be that immediately prior to watching Pumpkin I had imbibed the intoxicating comic nectar that is Annie Hall; a tough act to follow, perhaps, but no excuse for the overwhelming wretchedness of Pumpkin. Clearly a product of our age. Trying to be edgy, but coming off as tasteless and -- worst of all -- boring. One last note: mentioning this film in the same sentence as Harold and Maude is a truly unfortunate move.
Big Fish (2003)
overrated, overhyped..but not awful
Well, I'll admit it...I was really disappointed with this movie, which some are calling a masterpiece. I, for one, take such a term seriously, so I had big expectations for Big Fish. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work...the stories were kind of nifty, the acting was decent, and it looked great...but I just didn't care about Edward Bloom at the end of the movie. I felt like I had been manipulated for a couple of hours, all for nothing. That being said, I didn't hate the film by any means, but it left me with a bland taste in my mouth.
Duplex (2003)
I paid ten bucks for THIS!?
After seeing "Duplex", I left the theatre feeling dirty...and not in a remotely good way. Stiller and Barrymore are their usual caricatures, and the script reads like an amalgam of "Home Alone" and "Throw Momma From The Train". Sure, there may be one or two chuckles, but overall I hated this piece of Hollywood garbage. To add insult to injury, the movie was preceded by an anti-piracy ad...HA! If downloading hurts anyone involved with "Duplex" (set painter or not), I can't say I feel sorry for them.
The Quiet American (2002)
very good
I've been wanting to see this movie since I heard it was in production, and I finally did recently. Excellent film, but be forewarned if you're expecting an action/war flick: not to be found here. The pacing is very slow, but that's not necessarily a complaint. Lots of long (as in time-wise) shots, slow pans, etc., but the scenery and colours are all rather striking, so it works well. I'll keep it short, but Michael Caine turns in a wonderful performance...oscar-worthy in my opinion. On the other hand, Brendan Fraser is his usual dorky self, but it fits with his naive, misguided character. So, basically, see it if you can...not sure what kind of release it had stateside, due to the subject matter.
Snatch (2000)
Not bad at all
The first time I watched this flick I was sorely disappointed...it was basically Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels with a couple of different characters and Brad Pitt. Upon a second viewing, roughly 2 years later, it stands as a decent, funny movie...as long as LSATSB isn't fresh in your mind. Good soundtrack regardless.
Naqoyqatsi (2002)
hmmm..
Well, I'm still not sure what to make of this film...it was definately not forgettable as a whole, but the barrage of images was a bit overwhelming in retrospect which kind of blurs them all together in my mind. It's not that I didn't like the film, but it didn't really affect or enlighten me in any big way (and I'm not a cold fish by any means). The score, as mentioned several times already, was excellent and I'm not even a fan of orchestral type music. Overall a positive experience, but may be more enjoyable in a slightly more intimate setting than a crowded, cruddy old lecture theatre, so I shant judge it harshly at this time.
The Kids in the Hall (1988)
Comedic Genius
The Kids rule...what else can I say? The only other sketch show that ranks with them is Flying Circus, as simple as that. I suppose Mr. Show deserves an honourable mention as well. The thing is, you either get it, or you don't. KITH is for openminded, intelligent type folks (having a off-beat sense of humour helps greatly, as well). Sound pretentious? Of course I do. The funniest thing I've noticed about some of these comments are the ones regarding Scott. He's too gay? Hilarious! I think you're missing the point. If his gayness makes you uncomfortable, uh, you are indeed homophobic. Get past your denial. I think the whole point of a character like Buddy was to make homophobes uncomfortable. Buddy's monologues are hilarious, over the top, and socially aware (sometimes). The Kids aimed to offend and make you reconsider some of your own hangups...essentially punk rock (real punk rock, mind you, not the current dross that gets labelled as such) as sketch comedy. They also skewered the superficiality of the business world more skillfully than anything else I've seen. That in itself is worthy of all the merit people heap upon them.
Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
bizarre (in a good way)
I find the comments about this movie being the "worst" Adam Sandler film ever to be hilarious. Not to mention beside the point. "Punch Drunk Love" is not an "Adam Sandler" movie. He may be the star and main character (Barry), but for once he doesn't simply play himself (or one the many variants on himself). This is simply a great movie. I'm not saying this to build my movie-snob credentials either. Sure, PT Anderson throws us a few surreal curves (i.e the car crash/harmonium drop off) and some great colours and images, but it is basically an excellent depiction of your average socially inept, emotionally scarred individual, to whom the thought of an actual relationship is a fantasy.
Excalibur (1981)
decent retelling of Mallory's tale
Hmmm, not a bad movie by any means, but not great either. Your basic retelling of the entire Arthur legend, which does get a bit confusing at times. Definitely helps to bone up on Thomas Mallory's version before viewing. Of course, it also includes the requisite early-80's cheese: rather unappealing sex scenes, cartoonish gore, etc. That being said, it's not bad in a "I hate myself for wasting 2 and a half hours of my life" kind of way, but it lacks flow. It also glosses over alot of details, but that's to be expected, I suppose. Boring at times, as well. Basically, if you're into Arthurian stuff, check it out.