simon-page-1 Reviews

Ex Machina (2014)

Humans and their opinions

[9/10 · 10 June 2015]

I don't often feel the need to review films on here, but after I have seen a film I like to see other peoples opinions, as I find it interesting, although very annoying too. It shouldn't annoy me I guess, but when thoughtless, nonsense, throwaway films are given 10 stars, and films that have a lot of thought and effort put into them are picked apart and given low ratings by idiots I get wound up. Anyway, I loved this film. Watched it last night on DVD. It has depth and darkness and leaves you with something, as great writers and directors can only seen to do occasionally. It is very atmospheric, with a great soundtrack, great performances by each actor. If you like action films, why do you go to see this? Reviews are always available online here. It is pretty obvious that this film is meant to be intelligent and thought provoking, rather than all-action Hollywood. If you have a short attention span then you will probably not like this film. Give it a chance and get drawn in... it's great.

Shoah (1985)

Poor people.. having to watch such a long film... must've been awful for you.

[10/10 · 2 February 2015]

I have just recently watched this film in two parts, over two weeks. Yes, it is long. So what? I find it unbelievable that people can complain about the length of this film. Did you not know how long the film was before watching it? Oh dear.. did you get a 'bit bored' by the history of the mass extinction of the Jews? Did you run out of popcorn? The whole point of the film is to document the horror and also the complicity of others, not just the Nazis. The slow pace of the film gives us time to reflect on the misery and horror. The cold bleakness of the Polish landscape and the timeless quality only enhances and evokes feelings of depression and misery. The film has had a profound effect on me. It has made me angry and sad. It has made me want to tell other people. It is doing it's job, and will continue to do so as long as it exists and people watch it.

Insidious (I) (2010)

Is that the devil with a red face.. or just the director?

[4/10 · 12 December 2013]

I don't want to be too harsh on this movie but it really does just cover old ground... stuff we've seen so many times. It doesn't do it in a fresh way either, like some have said. Family moves into big old house. Kid gets possessed, doors open and close on their own. Ghost kids laughing and running around. Swirling violin music. A devil with a red face? Dolls and puppets. An old record player playing an old song. Cue old lady medium and ghostbuster sidekicks with ridiculous gadgets. Seriously? I love good horror films and this isn't one of them. Think of something original please. I have had to say that there are spoilers in here but the things I mention already spoil the movie. Well I was horrified. It's scary how unimaginative some directors and writers can be. Sad to say that this won't be the last film of it's kind.

Eat Pray Love (2010)

Fantasy film

[4/10 · 27 November 2013]

Julia Roberts' character Liz gets a bit fed up and so gets a divorce and then feels empty and sad. So she decides to 'find herself'. Her search begins in Rome... three months in Rome, where she quickly makes friends with lovely Italians who don't work either, but spend their days chilling with lovely pasta, pizza and wine. She doesn't find herself there so she nips off to India for a month or so to do some praying and meditating. Not to be found there either she pops of to Bali for another few months. I would like to follow in Julia's footsteps please... so if anyone can give us about 40 grand to doss about for 6 months I would be most grateful. Failing that I will just spend the rest of my life in the doldrums as I don't have the cash to find enlightenment. Thanks Hollywood for pointing out my financial shortcomings.

Breaking Bad (2008–2013)

No point in reviewing Breaking Bad

[10/10 · 5 October 2013]

I very rarely write reviews on here as I never feel the need, but I have to say something about Breaking Bad, having just watched the entire 5 seasons. Well, there is no more to be said that hasn't already been said about this show. The only thing that I find disappointing about Breaking Bad is that it hasn't achieved a 10/10 rating on IMDb. I would be very interested to meet the people who can give this show anything less than a 10 rating. I mean, how good can a TV show be? I watched the entire series over a two week period, sometimes not getting to bed until 3am, and not through choice... i really need my sleep. Breaking Bad was my world for those few weeks. This show could be unsurpassable.

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Awful film

[1/10 · 5 June 2013]

Sorry, but I really don't see what others did in this film.. except special effects and dramatic music. I loved the original Star Trek as a teenager... with it's creative story lines and unpredictability. In each episode I felt that somehow the normal bounds of my reality might recede or even be blown apart as I went boldly with the USS Enterprise crew into unimaginable places and situations. I like JJ Abrams and expected more.. all I got was Hollywood. It may as well have been a console game.. at least I would have been able to set phaser to stun and picked off the crew and cast one by one. Disappointing. Best film I saw last year was Safety Not Guaranteed... a Sci-Fi film for grown-ups. Great effects, funny, great characters and an estimated budget of $750k. Star Trek's is estimated at $190 MILLION. And all for what? Effects we have all seen before. Mass produced rubbish for the idiot masses.

Suing the Devil (2011)

Oh my goodness

[1/10 · 29 December 2011]

This film is so bad in so many ways... unfortunately not even in a funny way like 'Super Shark'. Horrid acting. Never thought much of Malcolm McDowell and it seems that at last he has found his level. Horrid Christian message as well... yuk. I could make a more interesting and watchable film on my camera phone. Please don't make any more films you lot. Do something constructive with your lives please. Go sweep up a church or cut the grass in a graveyard. I have nothing more to say about this movie but the 10 lines rule means I have to go on....and on.. bit like this movie! OK... what else can I say...Actually, I couldn't turn off the movie right away because the acting and script were so astoundingly bad that I was transfixed and dumbstruck.. a bit like those middle-America Christians in church with their holy (bank) rollers.

Dancer in the Dark (2000)

just my opinion

[10/10 · 9 November 2011]

I watched this movie when it came out and remember saying that after it had finished that it was probably the best film I had ever seen. Very dramatic, moving and with powerful performances. I have just been reading a few of the reviews as I have the DVD and intend to watch it later on tonight and was amazed by some of the bad reviews that have been written about it. This prompted me to look for a film that I thought was very poor and yet had the same rating as Dancer in the Dark. I found The Hangover 2009 with a rating of 7.9. Now, I love comedy but in my opinion this film was far from funny.. maybe with the exception of Mike Tyson... but of course it's all down to each individual's taste to some extent and so I wouldn't feel it right to give something a bad review in case someone reads it and doesn't watch the film because of me giving it a bad rating and review. That would be very sad to deny someone the pleasure of watching a film that they might really enjoy. Quality and enjoyment is made between 2 things.... a movie and the watcher or a song and the listener. A movie or song is not good or bad.. this only happens when someone watches or listens. Had to say my bit as I felt that this movie was just great but that's only because of my strengths, weaknesses Knowledge and limitations as a person and me and this movie just created something good between us. I suppose what I'm saying is that it's better write positive things rather than negative.. like our teachers used to say.. if you haven't got anything good to say then don't say it. I haven't got much good to say about The Hangover but had to choose something to compare with Dancer in the Dark. As you can tell, I don't usually write reviews! I joined up with IMDb just to write this because I felt so strongly about peoples opinions and felt the need to share mine!!!!