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My Son Hunter (2022)
Not a movie
I'm not a fan of Trump and his influence on journalism worldwide, but I went into the movie completely blank. I actively tried to like it, but it was just too cringy. The acting was genuinely bad and the production was just subpar. Example: voices of people being outside where recorded in a badly insulated room.
Nevertheless, I did love Laurence Fox's portrayal of a drugged out Hunter Biden and his little dog scene was really funny. He's definitely a good actor. I read a review online praising this movie (found it on Google btw) saying that this role will catapult him into stardom. I don't think this will happen though; outing yourself as a conspiracy theorist generally doesn't do any career any good. I sincerely hope he just did it for the money, but I doubt it.
In fact, the low production value showed me no real professionals were touching this, which is actually a bit of a relief. Gina's Secret Service suit wasn't a fit, for crying out loud. She was wearing a tent! Are you telling me even the tailors are afraid of cancellation? I don't think so.
Still a couple of stars for Laurence Fox and his funny dog scene.
Don't Look Up (2021)
An admission that it's hard to care anymore
Proof aside, it's just a matter of logic and easy to realize that if mankind keeps increasing in numbers, everything else decreases, exceptions being those that take tremendous effort. But in the end, this is just leftist propaganda ricocheted off bulletproof vests. Silver lining is that life in general will go on. After all, nature doesn't need us.
Reminiscence (2021)
Beware of that attitude
Such a beautiful movie. I can't think of anything wrong with it, which is a 10 for me. All ye naysayers and plothole seekers (who are actually the ones without character development) will probably point out a small flaw later on, which will grade it down to a 9,6. Unfortunatley for them I have studied maths and know how to round up.
Enola Holmes (2020)
Extra point for choice of brothers
As far as I've read, no one mentions the fact that Henry Cavill en Sam Claflin actually look alike. I have never seen actors being cast as brothers that really look like they could have been brothers. A truly amazing and very rare feat. I suggest we promote the creation of an Oscar for casting, just for this year, then forget all about it because we know this will probably never happen again.
Oh yeah, there's also a story, screenplay, acting and whatever. Yeah it's all right. As usual, ignore the 1's and 10's.
The Witcher (2019)
Suddenly, it drowned to Hollywood and its money
The first half of season two, I thought they fixed all the bad stuff from the first season. They did. But then, at the end, pure money. I'm wondering why this happened at all. The end was so far estranged from the books as well as the games I'm even wondering what the financial plan is here; you know you explicitly want authenticity right? THAT is a moneymaker, please keep that in mind.
This here, such a giant slap in the face with a dead fish; GoT season 9.
Bias story: my friend told me at the end of season 1: "You know what's so great about the Witcher? It's got it's own, European vibe." I agreed, so proud; now I'm just down there, down.
Hellboy (2019)
A small compensation for all the 1's
I really don't understand why it failed as hard as it did in box office. It's pretty much as silly as the old ones, only improved with blood and profanity, which doesn't necessarily hurt a blockbuster concerning hell, if you ask me. Quite the contrary.
People giving it a 1/10 shouldn't be taken seriously, I don't believe any of those naysayers didn't see a movie that they thought was worse than this one. Of course there was a lot of nonsense going on and I'm sure there was also a healthy amount of plot holes; my 7/10 is however based on my own system in which I rate a movie on its boredom or entertainment value. And yes, that means in my book, the very slow classics that are so highly praised are sometimes scoring lower than this one. I gave Hellboy a 6/10 because I was not bored, plus an extra point for not being shy of a little butchery. I even thought some jokes were funny.
I guess that you'll know how much my opinion means to you. If it's nothing, please still take the time to think about how much a movie would have to suck to give it a proper 1/10, and compare that with the absolute worst you've actually seen.
Coherence (2013)
OK for a student flick
Here we have all the ingredients for a student flick, except for the acting. Surprisingly well done for its low-budget physics genre. The rest is all there: shaky camera work, shitty choice of frames, lack of special effects (which, I admit, weren't necessary or expected) and a bit too much smoothness in the understanding and acceptance of the powers at work.
For a while, it was very entertaining and even thrilling to watch, but at a sudden point the thing that was going on invited so much randomness, so many possibilities, that I cared less and less about the fate of the supposed main character(s), until I had peace with any kind of ending for anyone. It could have been anything, and admittedly, almost anything would have been fair enough; instead, a great majority of the extravaganza seemed to be suddenly discarded in the end. It would've been much more interesting if there had been a dramatic clash of events in a big get-together kind of way, instead of just focusing on this one minor thing. A cheap escape.
I might have spoiled a little, but I'm taking the chance of being in the clear. Interpretation is a very subtle art, after all.
Under the Skin (2013)
...?
Wow, this movie is sooo strange. Usually I'm not a big fan of vague and arty films, but there was something hypnotizing that kept me watching all the way, waiting for clues. Obviously there's some kind of statement in there. Probably something about lonely people, beauty, modern society, whatever.
An alien uses Scarlets skin as a sexy human-suit to lure poor blokes into a black pool of breathable water so they can suck the meat out of their skin, until she has a change of heart after meeting Elephant Man and sending him naked through the grass. She starts discovering things like cake and that she's got an opening between her legs that male humans like to put a certain piece of their body into. Which apparently is a big surprise.
The writer might have smoked way too much. A lot of scenes are stretched way too long. I did like the photography though: great compositions and beautiful images of Scottish nature. Seeing Scarlet naked is nice as well. They even threw in a few boners for the girls.
In the end I don't think it was that bad, but it's not that good either. Just floating somewhere. I'd love to rate it but I'm not sure the movie exists. I might just have had one of those limbo dreams and I'm looking for confirmation.