geatornez82 Reviews

Inspector Gadget (1999)

Did They Even WATCH the Original Cartoon?!

[1/10 · 15 August 2010]

In between 1987 and 1990 (in between the ages of 5 and 8), "Inspector Gadget" was one TV show I couldn't miss. It was a crucial show to my childhood. I was actually pretty open-minded when I saw the trailers and commercials and stuff for the movie. When I found out it was going to premiere on the Starz channel, I sat and watched, for about 15 to 20 minutes. Then I got up, left, and came back in time to see the ending credits. I was just dumbfounded. There were SO MANY things WRONG with this movie:

1. Chief Quimby. In the cartoon, he would give Gadget his assignment, usually by popping up in the most bizarre of places (akin to "Get Smart's" Agent 13). Once Gadget got his assignment, he'd toss the paper back to the chief. Of course, EVERY assignment ended with "This Message Will Self Destruct," and when Gadget tossed the paper back at Quimby, KA-BLAM!!!! Usually when the assignment blew up in the chief's face, he'd lose it. And that was about the only time you'd see Quimby lose it in the cartoon. In the movie, the chief was more uptight, and very bitter, and I think there were times where he HATED Gadget! By the end of the episode of the original cartoon, he would always praise Gadget for a job well done (not realizing it had been Penny and Brain that did the legwork).

2. Matthew Broderick is definitely not a believable Gadget. Gadget is supposed to be a bumbling fool, and incompetent. Broderick's portrayal kind of made him a little smarter than usual, but not very bumbling.

3. Inspector Gadget Meets Knight Rider! Seriously, they turned the Gadget Mobile into a car that talked. Like KITT on "Knight Rider." In the original cartoon, IT NEVER TALKED!!!! Was that trip REALLY necessary?

4. Penny and Brain, or rather lack thereof. They're my favorite characters from the original show, and the fact that they were barely in this ticked me off big time. That, and Penny in the cartoon is a 10/11 year old blond girl in pigtails. In the movie, she's a brunette tween. I seem to remember at one point she was using the Top Secret Gadget phone to take a personal call from a friend. Penny and Brain are the ones who are supposed to solve the case. Such was not the situation in this movie.

5. I didn't like Gadget's love interest in this for some reason. I don't know why, she just rubbed me the wrong way.

6. This last one was the biggest, and the thing that REALLY ground my gears over this movie. Why, why, WHY did they cast Rupert Everett as Dr. Claw?! And what was with the name "Claw?" It was always DOCTOR CLAW in the cartoon! Everett looked too young to be Dr. Claw, and above all: they showed his face throughout the whole picture! That is just wrong! You're NOT supposed to SEE Dr. Claw's face, people!!!!!

Seriously, this movie made me wonder something: Did they even WATCH the original cartoon before they made this?

Rock Odyssey (1987)

Was This a Movie or a Drug Trip?!

[1/10 · 10 July 2010]

I was curious to find out more information about this movie after I had bought a video tape on Ebay titled "HBTV" (which was a compilation of Hanna-Barbera cartoon scenes set to popular music, much like the Disney Channel's DTV's of the 1980's). It was during their take on the song "Somebody's Watching Me" where I saw a clip that I didn't recognize, and my sister found out the clip was from the movie, "Rock Odyssey" (where she managed to find out, I'll never know, but I digress).

I learned this movie was never released in the United States because of graphic imagery, especially during a segment involving the Vietnam War and the sixties. I wanted to see this movie to see if it really *was* that graphic, or if it would be considered tame by today's standards (the movie was originally made in between 1981 and 1982). Well, I finally got to see the movie, and I can tell you, I wasted seventy-two minutes of my time with it (that's how long it was).

This movie was REALLY hard to follow. The basic gist of the show is a mysterious woman named Laura goes on a search through four decades to find her true love. Sounds simple enough, but really, it isn't. There's no dialog, except for these little bits introducing a decade by a talking jukebox (voiced by Scatman Crothers). The rest of the movie was just set to re-recordings of rock and roll songs. The movie is very surreal. There's a scene during the 1950's segment where the needle on a record player turns into a monster, and some pink liquid spilling out the windows morphs into snakes. I swear, the more I watched, the more I was thinking, "ok, what the HECK is going on here?!" It was easy to get lost in this plot.

I also have to nitpick over the addition the producers made when getting this thing set for a 1987 release. They added a "Character Parade" set to "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" in order to bring the movie up to date. I read the "parade" was to feature some of HB's characters like Yogi Bear, the Flintstones, the Jetsons, etc. I was expecting something like that to be at the very end of the film, just before or during ending credits or something. And new footage. What we got was an HBTV video. Clips of pre-existing footage set to the song. The clips were from the movies "A Man Called Flintstone" and "Hey There It's Yogi Bear," an episode of the Jetsons "My Date with Jet Screamer," and footage of a lesser known cartoon called "The Cattanooga Cats" (how that happened, I'll never know). And they just stuck it in after "Laura" pushed a button on some computer or another.

As for the graphic imagery regarding the 1960's segment, I found it wasn't as bad as I thought. It was just . . . . . trippy (then again, this *was* the 60's . . . . .) Really, it was way weird. Cops had flashing siren lights for heads, "Laura" turned into a mermaid briefly, her 60's love had a fish for a head at one point, and suddenly, they just popped back to normal. There were points where it looked like her boyfriend was losing his mind after this stern looking guy bangs on the door (and when the door opens, he's a skeleton) and hands the guy a piece of paper. It said "Death Certificate," but my guess is it was a draft notice, and it would appear that the guy went crazy. He started imagining everything was turning into guns, and at one point "Laura" hopped on a bus, ate a donut, and her hand turned into a rabbit, and flew out of her arm, then a plane flew out of her arm before her hand returned.

The whole movie looked like one serious drug trip in my opinion.

The Raccoons on Ice (1981 TV Movie)

My First Exposure to The Raccoons

[10/10 · 15 March 2008]

Technically, this came out in 1981, after the first special, "The Christmas Raccoons," which debuted in 1980. Again, it was the December of 1984 (still two years old. See my comment on "The Christmas Raccoons"). Weird thing, on Washington, DC's affiliate, they aired this one about a week or two before they aired the rerun of "The Christmas Raccoons," which, for the longest time, confused the heck outta me, but that's another story.

Okay, returning from the first special, Rich Little as the Storyteller and Rita Coolidge as Melissa Raccoon. Joining the cast as the Dan the forest ranger is Leo Sayer (though I don't think his voice fits the character).

Okay, as the story starts in this one, Tommy, Julie, and Schafer are skating on Evergreen Lake. Elsewhere on the lake, our heroes from the first story, Ralph, Melissa, and Bert Raccoon are playing hockey as well, but their fun will not last long.

As the kids and Schafer are out playing, Dan calls the kids back inside with hot chocolate, but Schafer decides to stay outside, and he goes onto the lake and meets up with Cedric Sneer, who's playing hockey. Then he meets a new character, Sophia Tutu, a swan gliding girl aardvark. Then he's asked by the Raccoons to be their goalie in their hockey game. Elsewhere, Cyril Sneer is talking to a group of bears about building what he calls The Cyril Dome, which is a giant hockey arena that will cover the entire lake.

Later, Cedric is smacking around a hockey puck, and providing his own play by play when he bumps into Sophia (literally!) They introduce each other, and Sophia goes off to work on her swan glides (musical sequence "To Have You") and we notice that Cedric has not only been shot with Cupid's arrow, he's been clobbered with it!

Back to the Raccoons and Schafer. They're playing hockey when Cyril shows up with his construction crew, and Bert challenges him to a hockey game, much to the dismay of Ralph, Melissa, and Schafer.

I'll stop there, if I go any further, I'll ruin the whole story. Now, for the Fun Stuff.

PROS:

New characters! In this we meet Cedric's girlfriend, Sophia Tutu, who, for some reason, is not a very well liked character in the "Raccoons" world (yet she's one of my favorites, but then again, I tend to like the characters everyone else hates), plus we also meet Cyril's bears, and Cyril's dog, Snag. I've heard of dogs resembling their owners, but Cyril and Snag are ridiculous!

The songs. My favorite Raccoons song of all time, "To Have You" is featured in this special.

CONS:

None come to mind at the moment, but when something comes up, I'll come back and edit this review.

The Christmas Raccoons (1980 TV Movie)

The Christmas Raccoons

[10/10 · 15 March 2008]

*sorry for the lack of a better title for this review*

It was December of 1984 when I first saw this cartoon. I think. Well, how the heck am I to remember?! I was only two years old then! But that's beside the point.

In the beginning . . . . well, in 1980, really . . . . Kevin Gillis created the Raccoons. It was a Canadian toon, that's about all I can tell you, and it also aired in the US (please note, I'm an American who first saw this one on Washington, DC's NBC affiliate). Featured performers were Rich Little who told the story, Rupert Holmes as the voice of Dan the Ranger (best known for his "Pina Colada" song), and Rita Coolidge as Melissa Raccoon. Rupert Holmes and Rita Coolidge also performed the songs in this special (and I must say, Rita Coolidge's speaking voice sure is different from her singing voice!)

As the story goes, Julie and Tommy, who are the children of the chief forest ranger, Dan, are having a pillow fight with each other, and their sheepdog, Schafer (who's about as big as these kids!) Their fun is disrupted when the phone rings, and the kids go out to their father to investigate. Apparently, the trees are being chopped down. So what's so alarming about that, you ask? Beats me. But it makes for an interesting plot when it appears that someone is hacking down the entire forest. Well, sorta . . . .

Later in the show, we meet the main characters, Ralph and Melissa Raccoon, who are a married couple (apparently), and their house guest, Bert Raccoon (no relation to either Ralph or Melissa). Ralph finds out about the forest being destroyed from the local newspaper (who knew Raccoons got a newspaper? But then again, this is a cartoon, so anything's possible). While this is happening, the show's villain appears. His name is Cyril Sneer, a chainsaw wielding, cigar smoking, aardvark (yes, he is an aardvark, NOT an anteater), bent on making millions. He's accompanied by his son, Cedric, a calculator toting, Coke bottle frame glasses wearing college graduate (what that has to do with the plot I'll never know, except maybe it gives us an idea of how old he's supposed to be or somethin', who knows?) with a whiny voice. Cedric is the Voice of Reason Nobody Listens to, and tries to talk Cyril (whom Cedric refers to as "Pop," for those keeping score) out of cutting down these trees, but Cyril doesn't listen, revs up his chainsaw, and takes down a line of trees, including Ralph, Melissa, and Bert's tree. The three raccoons are catapulted from the tree, and the tree rolls down a hill, where it is found and taken home by Julie, Tommy, and Schafer. The Raccoons then go to the kids' cabin to retrieve their Christmas stockings. While Melissa gets the stockings out of the tree, she inadvertently knocks an ornament off the tree, and it hits the floor, and smashes. That wakes up Schafer, and the chase is on. The chase ends when all four fall down a hill inside of a giant snowball, and crash into the side of a lumber mill, owned by Cyril Sneer, who is turning the trees into 2x4's, and working his aardvarks to the brink of exhaustion. Schafer and the Raccoons discover that Cyril's the one destroying the forest (when Julie, Tommy, and Schafer took the tree, the Raccoons assumed they were the forest destroyers), and they all become friends, working together to stop Cyril.

I'm gonna stop there, 'cause I don't want to give away the ending. Okay, now that we get the major gist of the special, on to your favorite and mine, the Pros and Cons.

PROS:

This is the show that launched the "careers" of Ralph Raccoon, Melissa Raccoon, Bert Raccoon, Schafer the dog, Cyril Sneer, and Cedric Sneer.

Bert is just plain funny. Bert Raccoon is ALWAYS funny! He is a laugh riot!

Rita Coolidge's songs were great in this.

CONS:

Not too many in my opinion. Though there were a couple. For one, Cedric's voice could get pretty darn annoying at times.

I didn't care much for Rupert Holmes' songs. I thought they were kind of corny, but that's just my opinion.

But all in all, it's really a cute little story.

Josie and the Pussycats (2001)

Could've Been Better

[2/10 · 29 November 2007]

*YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! SPOILERS ENSUE!*

At first I did not want to see this movie, because I had seen many a movie that butchered a favorite cartoon of mine for one thing, and the whole PG-13 rating kind of turned me off. But curiosity got the better of me, and I ran across it one night on some premium movie channel or another while I was channel surfing.

I wish I had kept on channel surfing that night.

Though I do admit, there were some things of the movie I liked. Four of the songs, and some parts WERE funny:

-Alexandra being asked why she's there, and her responding with "because I was in the comic book." (I love jokes like this!)

-The "band meeting" in the Starbucks ladies room. I *loved* how Val got Alex out of there. "Anybody have change for a tampon?" "I'll be outside." (something like that. That's one way of getting a guy out of the girl's room!)

I thought the idea was good, though. Putting subliminal messages into music to sell not only the music, but products as well ("orange is the new pink!") I told my sister, as a joke, "Hey! Now we know why all those Boy Bands are so popular!" (my sister and I were in our teens during the whole Boy Band craze, but we never really followed the crowds on them. To this day, I still don't like Boy Band music). Actually, this movie inspired me to write a story, but that's beside the point.

Now, for what I hated about the movie:

The Language. I'm one of those weird people who can not stand swearing. I can take it in small doses, but usually, comedies rated PG-13 have swear words coming out the wazoo. I also hated all those sexual innuendos. It's like nobody can make a movie these days that does not have sex jokes somewhere in it.

Melody got kind of annoying fast. Sure, she was a "dumb blonde" in the cartoon, but in this movie, she was a complete airhead. She wasn't this stupid in the cartoon series (can you tell I like the cartoon a lot better than this movie?) Valerie also had an attitude problem that I couldn't really picture her having. What did they do that for? To make her more interesting? And Josie was . . . . . well, just Josie.

You could not take one single look at anything in this movie without seeing a product placement. Yes, I realize it was a parody. Yes, I realize you can't take this movie seriously. But it was a 90 minute commercial.

Sebastian! What happened to Sebastian?! You remember Sebastian, don't you? Alexandra's pet cat? The band's mascot with the Muttley-esquire snicker? The one who got Josie and the gang out of the messes they got themselves into in the cartoon? How can you have the Pussycats, without their black and white snickering Pussycat mascot?! What, they couldn't find a black cat with white feet to be Sebastian? Or was a computer generated Sebastian (complete with snicker) just not in the budget? Either way, this ticked me off big time!

Alan, Alex, and Alexandra. What happened to them? I hated the way Alan was portrayed, a shy, dumb blonde. I can't see that from Alan. They did not cast him very well, either. He needed to be more muscular. And what was with "Alan M?" I know that was in the original comic, and I have to ask what was with that there, too. But that didn't bother me much. I never really cared for Alan, anyway.

Alex and Alexandra, on the other hand, is a different story. They were barely in this movie, and that ticked me off because Alex and Alexandra (and Sebastian the cat for that matter) are my favorite characters in the cartoon. Actually, I think the only character in this movie that was true to form was Alexandra, little screen time that she had. I think she was the only character that was actually IN character!

I absolutely hated when Fiona and Wyatt tried to turn Josie against Valerie and Melody. That really bugged me. I don't know why it bugged me, but it just bugged me. Was that trip really necessary? I never liked the Best Friend Turns on Best Friend angle (I guess it's because it reminds me of my high school years).

In defense of the plot, it was an interesting idea, but I felt it was poorly executed. They could have made it more like the original cartoon. The gang (all six of 'em!) could find out what Wyatt and Fiona are up to, get caught, and it would be up to Sebastian to bail them out of the mess they had landed in, and maybe wreck Fiona and Wyatt's plans while he was at it.

The Get Along Gang (1984–1986)

One of the Best 80's Cartoons Ever

[15 March 2006]

I was only 2 years old when the Get Along Gang premiered. I don't remember watching it when it first premiered on CBS, but my parents taped a few of the episodes for me and my sister.

The Get Along Gang was a bit preachy, but then again, so were a lot of cartoons of the 80's. That's not why I liked the Get Along Gang. I liked it because I am an animal lover, the characters were cute, the episodes were funny, and it taught a good lesson.

Incidentally, just as a side note, the Get Along Gang was not a Disney series, like an earlier review states. The Canadian animation company Nelvana animated the pilot episode, and DIC did the rest of the series. Just clearing that up.

The Get Along Gang shaped my childhood, and I still watch the episodes I have to this day, and I still have my original six plush Get Along Gang members, as well.