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Reviews
Love, Honour and Obey (2000)
Brit 90s Fever Dream
A film that seems like it was made by a 2nd year film student, delighted that they've managed to blackmail the crème de la crème of 90s British acting talent into being involved.
The plot involves a roster of Brit pack alumni gurning their way through a shrieking Guy Ritchie homage dahn Lahndaan tahn. Sound production sounds like the boom was rattling around a fetid urinal for 80% of the time. Which may or may not have been the intention.
If you came of age watching The Big Breakfast and reading Sky magazine, this will be an amusing, if bizarre, little trot down memory lane. Not for anyone born after 2000.
Twisted Seduction (2010)
Poorly Written Nonsense
I read in the trivia section that the script was written in 2 days, which becomes deathlessly obvious in the first 15 minutes. Of the two leads only one, the female, shows any ability and emotional range. The actor playing David is dire - he delivers his lines in a wooden Manchunian monotone, making his co-star work extra hard to lift the film above the level of film-school graduation piece.
The idea for the film is fairly standard misogynist fare - independent career woman is kidnapped by an apparent genius-level psychopath, who (gasp) knows just what's best for the liddle lady, keeping her captive in an attempt to make her fall in love with him. This means engaging in a series of painstakingly awkward "dates" designed to challenge her preconception of what she expects in a partner and result in true L-O-V-E. As these dates seem to mainly involve forcing his captive into excruciating dinners followed by fully- clothed shared baths and throwing popcorn at each other, in between tying her to a chair, one rather wonders what sort of eye-swivelling, sticky-palmed loons the poor woman was used too.
Before we know it, our heroine (in a desperate attempt to push the plot to any sort of conclusion me-thinks) has submitted to her captor in a spot of rapey foreplay and, in a twist that I can't quite remember as I was losing the power of sight and hearing by then, declares undying love for Mr Monotone. One extra ridiculo-twist completes 1 hour 20 minutes of utter nonsense. I've only given it 3 stars as the female lead was good and had nice eyebrows.