T-Bag82 Reviews

Cannibals in the Streets (1980)

Decent cannibal thriller, but doesn't really know what it is

[22 July 2002]

"Cannibal Apocalypse" is somewhere between a cheesy '70s action flick, a gritty violent thriller and a b-grade horror film, and doesn't quite work. It never finds a good balance in its hybrid of styles and comes across as inconsistent with a real lack of direction. However, it does have its moments and overall is a decent film for fans of horror.

The plot is about Vietnam veterans who were forced into cannibalism in the war and can't quite let it go back in the USA. It spreads like a virus to anybody who is bitten or "infected" by one of the cannibals and it soon becomes an epidemic.

The opening scene of the film set in the Vietnamese jungles is brilliantly shot and actually creates a grittier, more violent and more realistic view of the Vietnam War than most Vietnam War films do, but this is destroyed by the atrocious music which sounds like a hybrid of a '70s action TV theme and a porn groove.

The soundtrack of the entire film is its major downside as it creates a much lighter mood than what the film needs and is the main reason "Cannibal Apocalypse" crosses over to the cheesy '70s action movie style at times. With a better soundtrack it could've been much improved.

Many of the scenes in the film are quite powerful (except for the music) and the violence is graphic but gritty and realistic, almost in the vein of films such as Maniac, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and even Taxi Driver, and avoids the "glamorized" gore that most horror films tend to resort to. In particular, the tongue-biting scene with the nurse is extremely well shot and with better music could've been very powerful.

Overall, "Cannibal Apocalypse" is a decent film with alot of potential but is let down by a lack of direction and a poor soundtrack. The ending of the film is very clever and open ended however, and the very last scene is brilliant and a great surprise which will have you wondering "Ohh yeah, how did I forget about that!"

Teenage Catgirls in Heat (1994 TV Movie)

Inconsistent exploitation comedy

[17 July 2002]

"Teenage Catgirls In Heat" is a very average Troma release. Like alot of their other films, it is a hit & miss film with many inconsistencies and just isn't able to hold the viewer's interest for the most part.

The plot is bizarre as usual, and had much potential. It is about an ancient statue of a cat taken out of its box in suburbia, making all the local cats commit mass suicide and then mutate into naked teenage girls who miow, lick, scratch, hiss and purr, with a mission to seduce and kill men. Meanwhile, a cat hunter and his sidekick stumble across them and want to find out what's going on.

The film has its moments, and some very funny scenes. In particular, the date between one of the cat hunters and one of the catgirls. But overall, the comedy is very inconsistent and gets tiresome. Worth checking out if you are a Troma fan, but otherwise there isn't much you'd get out of this.

The Toxic Avenger (1984)

Troma Team at its all time best

[17 July 2002]

"The Toxic Avenger" is the definitive Troma release. A perfect blend of politically incorrect gross out comedy and over the top gore. The only flaw in the film is perhaps some of the fight scenes which tend to drag.

The plot centres around Melvin the Mop Boy who works at the Tromaville Health Club and gets constantly picked on by a bunch of teens who get enjoyment from running over children in their cars. One day, one of their pranks goes too far and he falls into some toxic acid and mutates into an ugly monster with a sixth sense for detecting evil and stopping it. He becomes a superhero and cleans up the crime in Tromaville, but as you would expect, things go wrong.

The laughs in "The Toxic Avenger" never stop as every scene is hilarious and reflects a period when film makers weren't concerned with political correctness. Jokes here come at the expense of the elderly, the blind, animal cruelty, killing children, and just about everything else that's wrong to laugh at. The sets in the film are also excellent and like with Class Of Nuke 'Em High, there are strong anti-nuclear messages.

I'd highly recommend this to all fans of offbeat comedy, exploitation cinema and comedy/horror.

The Burning (1981)

Exceptional '80s slasher flick

[17 July 2002]

"The Burning" is often dismissed as nothing but a clone of the classic Friday The 13th, and there is some truth to that as perhaps there is too much influence from the 1980 classic. However, with the historical significance of Friday The 13th aside, this film is arguably superior in almost every way.

The plot is typical. Teens on summer camp are being slaughtered by a maniac seeking revenge for what happened in the past. The film also has all the typical elements of the '80s summer camp slasher: the nudity, sex scenes, frights which turn out to be practical jokes, P.O.V. shots from the bushes, cheap shocks, plenty of blood, and the weapon in this film is a large pair of hedge clippers.

"The Burning" works extremely effectively though. It provides an interesting story which most slasher films lack, some good cinematography, and plenty of genuine frights. It reverses many of the slasher cliches and formulas which is what makes the frights in the film genuinely effective as many scenes play towards a typical slasher film situation and result in something different. This is particularly the case in the build up to the infamous raft scene. The ending is also brilliant and climatic with some great imagery and inventive direction.

The killing scenes in this film were under direction of its makeup artist Tom Savini, who worked on horror classics such as Friday The 13th, Maniac, Dawn Of The Dead, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and many more. The splatter effects are brilliant and the killing scenes very inventive and quite violent. In fact, "The Burning" is banned in quite a few countries and is heavily cut in just about every other country. Australia and Japan are the only two whose video release is completely uncut with the brilliant and violent "raft scene" totally intact. Luckily the version I have is the uncut Australian release.

Overall, "The Burning" is an underrated and exceptional slasher film which all horror fans should get alot out of, particularly fans of Friday The 13th, Sleepaway Camp, etc. Also watch for Seinfeld's Jason Alexander with hair! His performance is great and he displays a strong screen presence and steals many scenes.

Fiend (1980)

Intriguing and atmospheric low budget chiller!

[15 July 2002]

"Fiend" is definitely one of the better examples of low budget "z-grade" horror. When I put this on, I expected it to be one of those "so bad it's hilarious" horror films, and even though the first scenes initially had me in fits of laughter, it's not one of these films.

Once you've seen 5 minutes of the atrocious acting, jumpy editing, bad frame composition, laughable special effects and poor lighting and colour matching, its humour wears off. However, it actually creates a surreal and dreamy atmosphere reminiscent of the classic "Night Of The Living Dead" that will linger even when the film is finished.

The story revolves around a married man trying to prove that his neighbour, a "fiend" that is an evil spirit in the body of a corpse who must feed on the living to retain his youthful appearance, is responsible for the spree of murders that have been occurring in the neighbourhood.

"Fiend" will brilliantly draw you into that neighbourhood yourself and make you suspend your disbelief and the unnatural dialogue and amateur acting soon appears normal as you become a part of the surreal world the film creates.

The surreal atmosphere, predictable yet intriguing story, and climatic ending make "Fiend" a forgotten gem that I'd recommend to all fans of low budget horror.

Twins of Evil (1971)

One of the best films out of Hammer Studios

[15 July 2002]

"Twins Of Evil" is certainly one of the better Hammer films. Like with most of their films, the atmosphere is brilliant and a real sense of class is demonstrated.

The performances of the identical Playboy twins leave something to be desired but do the job, and a good contrast is achieved between the "good" and the "evil" twin, both of whom are gorgeous. The performance of most of the rest of the cast however is very good, particularly from Peter Cushing as their religious uncle, hell bent on purifying evil by burning innocent girls he believes to be witches.

"Twins Of Evil" creates a thick atmosphere that modern period pieces just can't achieve anything close to. Alot of tension is also built as the film is directed beautifully, and the last 25 minutes has a great climax. The pacing is excellent.

Overall, a great early '70s production from Hammer Studios, up there with "Hands Of The Ripper". Highly recommended for fans of classic British horror.

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

One of the best of its genre, and surprisingly clever

[10/10 · 16 June 2002]

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers is easily one of the best films of the d-grade comedy-horror genre.

It's a send up of film noir thrillers with offbeat comedy in the vein of "The Naked Gun" films and is genuinely hilarious from start to finish. The story revolves around Jack Chandler, a private eye in Hollywood who is hired to find a missing girl. However, his search leads him to a cult of chainsaw weilding prostitutes led by none other than Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre).

There are plenty of weird and wacky scenes, pieced together by corny film noir narration and music, and the narration and dialogue in the film is extremely witty.

Definitely one of the best films of its type. If you are after a fun little comedy/horror film with the typical fix of nudity, corny one liners and gore which is genuinely funny and clever, this should be on top of your list.

Blood Sucking Freaks (1976)

'70s exploitation masterpiece, the definition of bad taste

[10/10 · 16 June 2002]

This film is not to be taken as a serious horror movie out to give you scares or provide you with excessive gore. It is a film which absolutely pushes the boundaries of bad taste (I honestly believe if this film were made today it would be banned) and is designed to be filthy, offensive and an endurance to sit through. A lot of reviews have said the film was hard to sit through and felt like it went for 3 hours, this is intended I believe.

Bloodsucking Freaks is unbelievably sexist, sadistic, filthy, seedy and sleazy, but funny at the same time. The brutal acts of violence against women in this film are relentless and have no message or moral behind them at all. The bad acting, awful effects, dodgy music and corny lines all add to the seediness of the film. It truly captures the perverse and the twisted.

Don't see this film if you are expecting a fun filled thrill ride of over the top laughs, nudity/sex and excessive gore, or if you want something that you think will really scare you. It isn't any of these. This is why so many people have given the film a bad review on here, they were expecting the above and didn't appreciate the film for what it really is.

Bloodsucking Freaks is a masterpiece of '70s exploitation cinema as it pushed the envelope to the extreme, and truly can be described as pure "exploitation" as it depicts women as the lowest form of life I've ever seen them depicted as in the film. They are seen not as sex objects as the nudity in this is FAR from erotic, it actually adds to the film being nothing but putrid. they are depicted as worthless slaves or filthy animals.