hapuka Reviews

Countdown (1982– )

Reflections on Countdown and Richard Whiteley

[1 July 2005]

Countdown is the greatest gameshow ever, and here's why. 1/richard Whiteley is a diamond in the world of TV. he is not airbrushed or botoxed, or the product of a competition and text-in voting.He was a bright and compassionate person. The quote most widely attributed to him is "I never do impressions, unless I'm asked to." It is that kind of humble and self-effacing humour which made him a diamond in the mud that is modern telly. And he had over 500 ties - all of them atrocious. The only person on TV with the character to wear clothes that bad is Richie Benaud (the cricket commentator). If you are American or Martian and have never caught a period of Richie's commentary you are missing out on a beautiful thing, but i digress... The thing about Whiteley is that you knew what he was.....he didn't pretend to be cool and as a result people grew to love him. compare this to modern stars who start out attractive but get uglier the more you know about them..... 2/ Carol Vorderman is perfectly cast as Whiteley's sidekick. There is no substitute for good casting. 3/ The show cost less than 15000pounds per episode to shoot, and still did huge numbers. You can't beat that. 4/ In an era where game shows are built around greed or cruelty, Countdown offered no great prizes and actually made you think. If you have never seen it you are missing out, and for those of you who have seen it remember it with fondness because gameshows as pure as that may well be a thing of the past. Bon Voyage Richard.

Pretty Woman (1990)

this movie must die

[2 July 2004]

Having just seen this film again i cannot help but feel that it is the worst movie of all time. Script, story, acting and direction all suck. It operates in the kind of moral neverland that makes the outside world pity normal Americans, and needs to be a constant source of shame for all involved.

Garry Marshall brought us all a sickly sweet re-presentation of the '50s with Happy Days and should have been put out to pasture after that, not allowed to continue pumping out this dreck. Roberts and Gere prove that they are cinema stars rather than actors, and the director does nothing to dissuade us with a steady stream of saccharine button pressing which could only be described as cynical. A hooker falling in love with a millionaire and living happily ever after? Puh-lease!

Shortland Street (1992– )

Is it you or is it me?

[19 January 2003]

Shorties is certainly not the worst soap ever made, in fact it's pretty good. The writers try to keep their heads up and usually do a fair job. As a Kiwi I am much happier watching this rather than any of the terrible American soaps, that's for sure. Spookily this show often manages to be very current with issues, despite being made 6 months prior to screening. Anyway, it could be a lot worse and at least doesn't moralise as heavily as other soaps.

Who Is Cletis Tout? (2001)

I've seen worse

[3 August 2002]

Not a bad film at all. Considering some of the rubbish that makes big money this was smart enough to keep me interested. Obviously the flashback driven structure is a bit predictable and cheesy, but I have seen way dumber films this year. I don't know about Tim Allen's casting though - it wasn't a disaster but it didn't quite do the business for me. Kudos to him for playing against type, but he was too warm for what is by definition a muderous criminal (I think Nicholas Cage or Robert Duvall might have nailed this part). Overall this could have been much worse,, ( imagine Ms. J Roberts as the love interest.) The plot was fine if a little contrived, and the constant movie references wore a bit thin presented as they were. Competent enough though, it a pity that it didn't have have a bit more je n'est ce quio. Still more challenging than the recent skywalker ranch product if you're in the video store