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andreas_meg
Reviews
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
Let's not drag this out...
The script of the movie is roughly 3 pages long, so I guess it doesn't really deserve a long review either.
First of all: this is for all intents and purposes just a flashy, very long trailer... Neat camera tricks, cheesy lines, explosions, you name it!
Secondly: during the pitch meeting of this "concept" (at best) they probably said: we need "a handsome mysterious type" (cue: Hiddlestone), "a busty blonde who doesn't really need to be there" (cue: Larson), a crazy bearded goofy guy with morals (cue: Reilly) and an angry Samuel L. Jackson to say the word "mutha****" every now and again. Then we pile on some other generic, pointless characters, a whole bunch of monsters and put King Kong in the middle. 2 hour run-time? Yeah! Case closed! Lunch!
So, yeah, what YOU need to know, as an audience member, is this: there is no plot, no purpose, no reason, no subtleties, no nuance, no meaning... It's just a big stinking pile of clichés!
They literally could've chosen any random aspiring screenwriter of the street, and just by being awake for the meeting, those guys could've come up with ideas on how to turn this story into a half-decent script, or at least something that resembles a script.
Garbage... Complete and utter garbage.
The Great Wall (2016)
The worst film ever made? Too harsh? Nah, too light...
My tombstone will have the following inscription: Please don't watch that Matt Damon movie, "The Great Wall"!
I guess that sums it up... I could in theory go on-and-on about what's wrong with this film, in terms of plot, logic, characters, dialogue etc, but I'll just sum it up with this: EVERYTHING... Everything is wrong with this film. Atrociously moronic from beginning to end.
Thank you!
Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story (2004)
Words can't describe how horrible this film is...
The writers and creators of this film should actually be sued... For polluting the world with this crap! "Man In The Mirror" is in fact beyond horrible! Way, way, way beyond!
...and people, I'm not just saying that because I'm a Michael Jackson-fan! Or due to the fact that this is truly one of the most retarded depictions of his life I've ever encountered!
I'm saying it because this is a waste of time, money and celluloid! I feel ashamed of myself just having seen all of it! That's 1 hour and 26 min of my life I'll never get back! I'm telling you; watching grass grow is literally more entertaining than this film!
Consider yourselves warned!