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Reviews
Murder Mystery (2019)
Acknowledgements to Agatha Christie: Classic whodunit and very funny too!
Adam Sandler and. Anniston play a couple who have been married for 15 years but never had the honeymoon in Europe Sandler's character promised his wife. Finally, he delivers on his promise with an inexpensive bus tour of Spain.
However, during their transatlantic flight in economy, they are befriended by a British gentleman travelling in First Class who invites them to join him on his uncle's yacht, first stop Monte Carlo for the Formula 1 Monaco Grand Prix. Cue an assortment of family and guests and a series of murders. The French detective who tries to find the various culprits appears to have learnt his trade from Clouseau and Dreyfus.
The actors are all caricatures and the movie is packed with clichés, but it very funny. A guilty pleasure.
Disappointing that Jennifer Anniston still hasn't managed to leave Rachel behind, but she's just as entertaining as the rest of them.
Treason (2022)
Good idea, but unbelievably incompetent attention to detail
People at MI6 must be rolling on the floor laughing at this nonsense. A very good idea for a story, but completely ruined by the most appalling lack of attention to detail. There were too many mistakes to list, but they include the most basic security gaffes that even rookies in the intelligence services would never make on pain of dismissal.
The characters also lack credibility. Whoever wrote the story appears not to have even a basic knowledge of tradecraft and how people in these positions would actually behave.
The only way to enjoy this pitiful show is via a massive suspension of disbelief.
Once Upon a Time in London (2019)
Terrible direction, disjointed, poor acting from a cast of relative unknowns.
Looks like the budget ran out. Some great locations, a reasonably authentic portrayal of the era, but terrible acting throughout by a cast of relative unknowns.
I will remember it for the wall-to-wall violence and, in one scene, the NGK spark plug leads (HT leads) that weren't available in the UK at the time because they were Japanese-made. Did someone confuse the brand with the all-British KLG?
Departure (2019)
Too many inconsistencies, not technically credible
A Canadian production, shot in Canada with mainly Canadian actors, but purporting to be based in the UK. The loss of the aircraft would normally be investigated by the Air Accidents Investigation Branch (AAIB) but the writers invented a non-existent organisation TSIB. The aircraft was supposedly built by British Aerospace (BAe) in an attempt to compete with Airbus, however BAe sold off some of its civil aviation interests and put the rest into the Airbus consortium, later selling its stake to Airbus. I would be surprised if BAe gave permission for its name to be used.
The story appears closely based on the disappearance of Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 which seems insensitive towards the relatives of MH370's passengers in view of the lack of any firm conclusions as to how and why that flight was lost. Finally, the technology is all wrong - the writers needed far more advice from experts than they appear to have taken.
There is nothing authentic about the story. As a result, it just doesn't ring true.
Turn Up Charlie (2019)
Endearing tale
Surely conceived as another opportunity for Idris Elba to play the part of Idris Elba, the standout performances come from young Frankie Hervey as young Gabrielle and Jocelyn Jee Esien hamming it up as as Elba's Aunt Lydia.
Elba has only minimal acting ability (I'm trying hard to be kind here) but his warmth and general likeability come across well - he plays Charlie, a faded 1980s DJ trying to relaunch his career.
Perhaps the most surprising piece of casting was American actor JJ Feild as David, Gabrielle's British father, who performance as Charlie's former classmate in an inner London school was highly credible, with not even a hint of a Dick Van Dyke 'Cockney' accent.
Endearing and enjoyable.
The Order (2019)
If you loved the Twilight saga and the Vampire Diaries, you might love this too.
Once you have moved from the idea that this is based on Twilight fan fiction (and that's not an entirely trivial task) you might just enjoy this love story. It is reasonably credible and the plot has some nice twists. The main characters are (mostly) endearing and the cinematography is very good indeed.
I can feel a second series coming on.
The Loch (2017)
Inspired by the outstanding 'Hinterland'?
Difficult to escape the conclusion that the writers and producers wanted to copy the excellent and highly successful S4C Welsh/English Y Gwyll/Hinterland detective series by making a Scottish version. If so, the result is desperately disappointing.
There is no sense of place and the rural community depicted comprises disparate, dysfunctional characters with no redeeming qualities. It's not easy to watch a series in which you don't like a single character. They don't seem to like each other much either, so it's not just me.
Much more could have been made of the idyllic location (Loch Ness, especially around Fort Augustus) but the opportunity was squandered.
I strongly recommend avoiding this and watching Hinterland instead. It's available on Amazon Prime (Series 1 and 2) BBC iPlayer (Series 3).
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)
Not impressed, sorry!
I was disappointed with this movie. I had expected world-class CGI, and got it, but nothing else worked for me. The plot was extremely thin and the characterisation - at least of the humans - was virtually non- existent. The human characters were shallow in the extreme, appearing unable even to demonstrate the five facial expressions they learnt at the performing arts school.
James Franco was horribly miscast as a prize-winning researcher who self-evidently should never have been allowed to proceed beyond the high school chemistry lab. Freida Pinto was so vacuous that her part could have been played better by a photograph fixed to the wall. John Lithgow and David Oyelowo appeared to have left their acting skills at home as did Tyler Labine. The usually excellent (though one-dimensional) David Hewlett appeared bored out of his mind. All would have been booed off the stage at any self-respecting amateur dramatics society.
Of the humans, only Brian Cox and Tom Felton were credible, with Felton's overt cruelty offering the only real tension in the movie before the apes inevitably stole the show.
And of course the apes did steal the show. Unlike the humans, they had a good range of facial expressions to choose from and Caesar in particular used them to the full. The CGI was outstanding and the scenes on the Golden Gate Bridge contained more drama than the rest of the movie put together.
The ending was pathetically trite, made with an obvious view to preparing the ground for a sequel rather than bringing the story to any recognisable or satisfactory conclusion.
The sequel will need to be a lot better in order to encourage me to pay to see it. I hope that the current human cast is not considered for any sequel with the possible exception of Brian Cox and Tom Felton. Of course Andy Serkis must star again as Caesar, together with the same CGI team. They were the real stars of the show.