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Troll 2 (1990)
Words can't describe...
I really don't know what words to use, but trust me - THIS is one the funniest movies ever made.
There is no acting, the plot is thin, and several of the scenes have no relevance or credibility. Regardless, this is, to be brutally honest, one of the greatest films I have ever seen, simply because it is a complete travesty in every way. It gets a bit slow (in comedy terms!) around the middle, but the beginning and end absolutely beggar belief. As you will find as you browse these review columns, 'Troll 2' is a cult favourite, and it certainly is worth both your time and your money, since you will simply have the time of your life.
There are some films that are, genuinely, so bad that they are awesomely good. This is better than any comedy I have ever seen in my life.
If you have already seen this, check out S.P Somtow's 'The Laughing Dead', the only other film out there that is truly in the same league. If you haven't, and you can find a copy of this (both DVD and VHS versions exist, at reasonable prices!) take the plunge, irrespective of what films you enjoy - I guarantee you will get a kick out of it.
Simply put, you must see this film.
*SPOILERS*
If not for the distinct lack of Trolls in a film called 'Troll 2', then for the poor Goblin masks.
If not for the completely unerotic and unrelated corn on the cob seduction scene, then for the mad woman singing 'Row, row row your boat' completely out of tune.
If not for the lesson that a bologne sandwich can ultimately save the day in any situation, then for the cheesy 80s music.
If not for the woman that has Stonehenge in her house, then for the alternate moral, which is that urinating all over your family's food is the answer to all of your problems.
If not for the man who shouts the most unconvincing 'Oh... my ... GOD!' in existence, then for the most unconvincing chainsaw scene in existence.
If not for the father's tendency to drift off whilst forgetting his lines, then for the bizarre straight/bisexual confused antics of the supporting cast.
If not for the moment when SOMEONE FINALLY REALISES that Nilbog is goblin spelt backwards, then for the mysterious repeated resurrection of the grandfather character FOR NO REASON.
And remember, son, "I'm gonna tighten one notch in my belt..."
The Laughing Dead (1989)
Somtow's Laughing Dead - the cult begins HERE!
I have seen a lot of films, including some of the more legendarily poor ones. But this, an alternative-stylee poor film, is infinitely worse than anything that I have ever seen in my entire life.
I am not going to spoil it for you, but the end will make you think that you are under the influence of some form of halluconogenic substance. Not the frequently-mentioned baskebtall match, but there is another element that beggars belief, more so than any single event in any other film ever.
There is so much that can be said about this film, but I'm going to keep it brief. If you can find it, get it. It is so bad it's pricelessly funny. I have been trawling the bad film archives for awhile now, and nothing can top this.
Even if you have never delved into bad films before, try renting this, and prepare for the time of your life. It might sound like a hollow recommendation coming from one small man on the internet out there somewhere, but I guarantee when more people see this film, it will become a legendarily cult bad film, in the same way 'Troll 2' and 'Manos' are now. It deserves that status, but isn't popular enough, so I implore all bad horror fans and good comedy fans alike to search out this film and give it an opportunity, since it will change the way you view films forever.
I've tried to omit spoiler content, because I fear that extended spoilers may ruin the fun! So go out, take a chance (just this once!) and pick up a copy of 'The Laughing Dead'.
I guarantee you won't regret it, and I don't know what further guarantee I can give than that.