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New Town Killers (2008)
Boring, amatuerly made, awful script - Dougray Scott is the only plus point
This is genuinely one of the worst films I've had to sit through (I've rated over 1,800 films so far and not many have got this low a score). Despite being quite a short film it dragged on for what felt like hours - quite what Dougray Scott was doing in this I'll never know (charity? slumming it?). He does what he can with a poor script, snarling away and making the rest of the cast look poor, but ultimately you don't care about his character or any of the others.
I can appreciate it was made on a budget, but it seems to have also been made with no professional supervision. Every scene was amateur, no sense of timing (I can quite comfortably state this is the worst 'chase' movie I've ever seen) and there isn't enough of a plot to keep anyone interested.
Dance of the Vampires (1967)
If someone told you this was a good film... they would be lying.
I'll be blunt - I really didn't like this film. In fact, it took a massive force of will to sit through it, I could have just hit 'stop' on the remote and ended my suffering but I thought it had to get better. But I was so wrong.
I like to think I can appreciate the older 'classic' films. Acting rather than special effects, quality film-making rather than a 2 hour MTV-video. Plus I'm generally a fan of Polanski's other films. But I was bored throughout and occasionally despised it, along with every critic who praised it.
I know, I know, it's supposed to be like this - terrible acting, annoying characters, lame attempts at slapstick. That's what makes it so 'funny' and 'classic'. But it's just plain rubbish.
It just crawls along with long periods of silence and static camera work. The dialogue and delivery makes you long for that silence to come back and the pathetic excuse for a plot... what can I say. There really isn't one, the long silences and expanses of nothing happening stretch out the clichéd idea for much longer than should be possible.
Whoops, almost forgot the abysmal effects (I know, I know they're 'supposed ' to be that bad) and the worst portrayal of vampires ever committed to celluloid.
4/10 (and I'm being generous).
Spaced (1999)
Do you want a bourbon?
Spaced is that holy grail of British TV... a truly funny sitcom.
Sure it's not a proper sitcom (no canned laughter here) and it plays out more like a live-action version of the simpsons or family guy, but this is one of the funniest TV shows around.
Jokes, film references and one-liners so funny you'll miss half of them first time round cos you're laughing so hard are the main reasons people give as to why its so great, but there's so much more to it than that.
Great scripts, inspired directing and characters so likeable and original they seem like old friends. This is essential viewing for anyone who likes films, sci-fi or gut-wrenchingly funny comedy.
Altogether now "It's not a bedsit, it's a flat".