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Reviews
The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)
Escape! Escape now!!!
This is one of the worst films I have EVER seen. It did not hold my attention at all. The first two were decent. This one just sucks.
The story was so simplistic you might not even call it a story. There is no humor. There are no poignant/touching moments. There is just no entertainment value whatsoever.
The acting is ridiculously bad. Breslin, who plays the head elf in this movie, is a terrible actor. While there are a number of recognizable, albeit has-been, actors in this movie, the script offers them nothing.
Overall, just a bad bad movie. It boggles the mind how and why some movies get made. Couldn't anybody come up with a better script than this? You've got to me kidding me.
It was nominated for the razzie. Enough said.
Transformers (2007)
Don't Shia away from this one. You think that's bad, read the review.
First and foremost, I should mention that I am not familiar with the cartoon. Therefore, my review will not compare this film to the cartoon in any way, shape or form. In fact, all movie long I was expecting the autobots to form together and become Voltron - different cartoon altogether as it turns out. What I'm trying to say is, if you're some sort of purist, this review is unlikely to help you. Then again, if you're a Transformers cartoon maniac, you're probably going to watch the movie no matter what I write here.
With that said, let's get on to the review. I liked it. I thought the movie was pretty entertaining, fun, and worth my time to watch it. Shia La-la-la--la boof! buff? Either way, gesundheit!. Yeah, he was good. He really made the movie for me, his unusual name aside. This guy is funny and offsets the action and suspense quite nicely, providing the audience with some relief from all the edge-of-your-seat hoopla.
Like I said, overall the film was pretty good. I can't give it more than a 5/10 though because aside from the action and the drop of humor mixed in, this film really wasn't about anything. Alien robots duke it out on Earth's soil, horny teenager gets involved, girl has history of family issues - hardly vital to the story, and all this drama for what - a cube? This must be one hell of a cube, probably kicks the Rubik's cube to the curb, I imagine. I guess with a movie of this sort though, the story/plot/order of events is simply a vehicle for all that kick-arse action. That's fine of course, if you like that sort of thing.
For me to have given this film a better rating, it would have needed a more compelling story with some sort of theme, purpose, reason for existing other than to have its audience drool over its coolness. I like my films to be a little more meaningful, I guess. You know, artsy fartsy. Sometimes just fartsy.
This film was neither of course, but I still think it's worth watching. Hey, just look at its rating! Someone's likin' it.
Evan Almighty (2007)
Solid as an ark
After hearing bad things about this film, I watched it and was pleasantly surprised. This truly is a solid film, from the pacing, to the acting and directing. The screenplay isn't great but it isn't bad either and offers some good laughs. Where this film falls short is with the ending and the simple fact that it mentions religion, which is a touchy subject for some.
In terms of the ending, I think you just expect more, something bigger. The film does a nice job of building to the end but when it gets there, you're left scratching your head a bit, as if to say, "That's it?" As far as religion's role in this film, you need to be able to set your personal beliefs aside when watching this movie. It is a movie after all. God, played by Morgan Freeman, explains why and for what purpose he brought a flood to Earth, an event detailed in the Bible. Some viewers do not believe this was really God's reason or intent.
Despite the somewhat disappointing end to the film, I thoroughly enjoyed it because it was simple in its design. You can afford to sit back and really just enjoy it for what it is - a funny family movie. It isn't bogged down with complex plot twists, or messy emotional themes that just don't belong in this type movie.
I prefer this film to "Bruce Almighty" and recommend it for viewing. 6/10
Dead Man's Hand (2007)
Not worth rolling the dice on this one
This film was not good. In fact, you might even say it was bad.
First of all, it wasn't scary. There was nothing scary about it and I frighten easily, so take my word for it. The casino itself failed to create any sort of tense atmosphere. Sure there were spider webs everywhere from not having been inhabited for forty years but that wasn't enough, not even close.
The screenplay is dreadful with some very unfunny lines and characters so uninteresting, you root for them to be killed. You might be better off killing them yourself though, as the so-called ghosts of the casino aren't all that fearsome and you could probably give it to the good guys better than they can.
This film is without special effects or gore, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Some of the better horror films have neither. The weird part is, this film does do some things you'd want effects for. Without them however, it just looks cheap. It becomes funny, not scary.
I give this film a 4/10 because for all of this movie's problems, it isn't completely devoid of entertainment value. Some of the enjoyment comes out of how bad it truly is, for sure. On the other hand, however, the last twenty minutes are kind fun and interesting - still not scary though.
Overall, this film is not worth the time and money it took to make, and it's certainly not worth your time to watch it.
Lie Still (2005)
Dies toward the end. Pun intended.
This film was decent, certainly better than expected. The performances were strong and the directing was good. The setting really gave this film a nice feel.
The pacing slowed toward the end however, just when I expected things to heat up. I was on the edge of my seat a couple of times, ready for a scare but the scare never really came. So while the film did a nice job of setting the tone and creating a frightening atmosphere, it never really punched it home.
As far as the story is concerned, it never evolved, nor did it offer anything that you weren't already expecting. Furthermore, the characters didn't have any real history. Basically, nothing was fleshed out here. Granted, I realize you don't often get that sort of thing in a horror film but I thought this film could have benefited greatly from it.
In terms of cinematography, it had sort of an amateur feel, no doubt a result of the low budget. However, this may have helped rather than hurt matters, as the film did not rely on special effects and gore to create suspense. Everything good in this film was earned. There was nothing cheap about it.
For example, the greatest moments in the film come without the use of either special effects or gore - the first meeting with the old woman and the happenings concerning the old photograph on the wall.
Overall, the film is worthwhile but you'll probably agree that it fizzles out in the end.