Krakn3Dfx Reviews

Day of the Dead (2008 Video)

If you love zombies, and don't expect a Romero remake, you'll be alright

[7/10 · 1 March 2008]

While the title and description of this movie would lead you to believe that it's some sort of remake of the George Romero version of Day of the Dead, it very much has nothing to do with that movie, or even the Romero zombie universe from what I can tell. In the Romero universe, the origin of the outbreak is never revealed, there is no clear reason for why what happens happens, it just does. In this movie, they eventually explain exactly why people get infected, and who did it, and in the end, the all but contain the infection, which never happens in the Romero universe.

Having said that, if you enjoy zombie movies, this could be a lot worse. The acting is decent, the special effects and gore are about what you would expect, sometimes better than what you expect. I would recommend it as a rental if nothing else.

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

More like AvP: Repulsive

[1/10 · 28 December 2007]

Maybe I'm just old, or I haven't been around much... I've always been a big fan of the Alien and Predator films, and I even liked the original Alien vs. Predator. Both franchises offer cool characters and appealing story lines. I've been looking forward to AvP:R since I heard about it earlier this year. I'm 35, a father of two, think I'm pretty liberal about life in general, don't mind gore in my movies, don't mind a lot of violence. But what does bother me as an adult with kids, which, apparently was missed by the makers of this movie, should be their target audience, since the height of the Alien and Predator craze was when I was in grade school, is when film makers create tasteless scenes just for the sake of being tasteless. The first scene I'm referring to is the 8 year old boy chest burster scene at the beginning. It would have been easy enough to have two adult men, but for some reason, the shock value in watching an 8 year old die horribly on the big screen seems to get the film makers off enough that they couldn't resist. Then you have the scene, which, while you don't actually see it happening, implies the slaughter of an entire nursery of babies at a hospital. Disgusting and again, not necessary except to get off 14 year old boys who are already desensitized enough by the world in general, and apparently the people who wrote and directed the film. There was at some point, whether it was enforced or just an unspoken rule that Hollywood followed, a rule that kept the killing of children, implied or otherwise, out of television and movies. Apparently that rule has been abandoned completely, from the scene at the beginning of the Battlestar Gallactica mini-series where the lady breaks the baby's neck in the carriage, to the slaughter of the young Jedis in Revenge of the Sith, to now AvP:R. If you consider yourself a responsible parent and a decent human being in general, I would avoid this movie and let others know as well. Personally, I'm not a fan of continuing down a road where we portray the slaughter of children in movies, no matter what the rating.

Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

It Was Man That Done That

[9/10 · 25 September 2007]

It's been awhile since I've seen a horror movie in the theater. I saw the first 2 RE titles on DVD, and liked both of them to differing extents and for different reasons. I decided to check this one out in the theater, and I'm thrilled that I did. This movie was an amazing roller coaster ride, a perfect mix of Mad Max and the original Day of the Dead.

The character back stories, while not extensive by any means, in a lot of cases gave you a reason to care for those people. You knew L.J. wasn't a bad guy, just caught in a crappy situation and not wanting to give up on his humanity for as long as possible. I doubt most people would act any differently in his situation. Clair was a great, solid character, as much as I don't like the Ali Larter role on Heroes, I couldn't help but sympathize and appreciate her here, trying to keep people alive and safe, moving from town to town, looking for a place to call home. Few of these people were hardcore soldiers trained to survive in extreme conditions, they were all doing what they had to do to make it, and she was no exception.

There were inconsistencies to be sure, and things that I just laughed about after wards when I was picking through the movies big scenes, like who dressed the zombies in those light blue jumpers (intern job from Hell to be sure).

A lot of people I talked to who have seen it seem to think that the end leaves the door open for a forth movie. While I guess it's possible, I also think it's also a worthy conclusion, Alice gets what she needs to bring down Umbrella, and there's every indication that she's going to go forward and do that. She also has the capability to create a cure for the t-virus mutations, which you feel like at the end she will probably do.

The world at the end of Extinction isn't back to normal, and there's no indication that it will be any times soon, but there's every indication that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and I am good leaving it at that.

I've only played the first Resident Evil game, and while it's a great game, I'm glad they didn't decide to adapt it for the movie. The RE movies give us a broader perspective of the world of the Umbrella Corporation and Raccoon City, a different perspective. They do make me want to go back and play the games I missed, but I don't see any reason why they should have just been a remaking of them.

Not a flawless movie by any means, but good enough to ignore the flaws and enjoy the ride to be sure.

Attack of the Gryphon (2007)

Gryphon: Sponsored by Commodore, maker of the Commodore 128...

[1/10 · 29 January 2007]

I say that, because in my mind that's what I picture them rendering all of the CG work in this film in.

OK, I understand that when they tack on "a Sci-Fi Original Movie" to the name, it's by default assumed to be complete crap, but come on! This was bad even by SFC standards, if such standards do indeed exist. The uneven, poorly delivered dialogue, the overly-generic storyline that failed to deliver on even the generic ending that everyone knew was coming.

Just pitiful...and I liked the D&D movie sequel...now THAT was straight-to-DVD entertainment!

Barnyard (2006)

A strong man stands up for himself, a stronger man stands up for others.

[9/10 · 11 September 2006]

I didn't expect much from this movie, and for 80% of it, I wasn't disappointed. It's not a great movie, but it had one thing that makes me highly endorse it. It's a line from Ben to his son Otis that my son heard and kept using it even after the movie was over.

Ben: Otis, a strong man stands up for himself, a stronger man stands up for others.

My son learned compassion from a movie about talking cows, that it's not all about him, but it's about us as a whole, a people. It wouldn't have really phased me, but about 2 weeks after seeing the movie, he told my wife, who didn't see the movie with us. She mentioned it to me later, and it made me realize that in the context of the movie, it stuck with him. I'm still not sure why there were male cows with udders and then bulls too, but I don't care, because as selfish as we've become as a nation and world, it's great to see a movie that flat out says that while it's good to take care of yourself, the better man helps those around him.

Thumbs up!

King Kong (2005)

Amazing movie, although not without it's flaws, still better than I expected

[9/10 · 17 December 2005]

I went to see King Kong yesterday, 12pm showing on a weekday, so it was pretty dead, which was nice. I'm sick as a dog, but it was my birthday, so I told myself I was going to see it regardless. I'm sure the rest of the people in the theater were thrilled that I was sitting there coughing up a lung quite a few times, but screw em, it was my birthday.

Anyway, I'm not really a huge PEter Jackson fan. I find most of the LotR series to be sluggish, with few rewards after hours of watching. I enjoy some of his earlier low budget gore films like Bad Taste, but he's never been anyone I've hung onto in any way. On the other hand, I, like Jackson, am a HUGE fan of the 1933 version of King Kong, and also Son of Kong, which was corny yet still entertaining. I didn't care much for the 1976 version, which was watchable, but not a suitable remake by any means. I was pretty awed when I learned Jackson's Kong would last 3 hours, but I decided if it was done well, it might work. One of the problems with the original, like most films from the era (not to mention today), was the lack of character development, so if he could stretch it out to 3 hours and develop the characters more, I figured that would be alright. I've read reviews where people didn't care much about the development of the Hayes/Jimmy relationship, but I thought it worked well. I also liked the Captain Englehorn character, who was obviously not a good person, but was willing to help people in need. Jack Black as Denham was great. I can think of better actors to play the role, but he came across suitably for what Denham was, not actually evil, but very centered on himself, even at the cost of the lives of others. The CG in the film was overall amazing. There were some scenes where the CG was obviously rushed, but it didn't take away from the movie as a whole. Hopefully they will release a Director's Cut or something in the future on DVD that will fix these. A couple are pretty obvious, and should really be worked on. Overall, the movie was a fine testament to the mythology of Kong. I'll be seeing it at least once more in the theater when I'm not sick anymore, and it'll be a fine addition to my DVD collection, not to mention being the new demo disc for my home theater audio system :).

Flightplan (2005)

Loved Foster, everything else was a letdown

[4/10 · 28 October 2005]

I had high hopes for this movie. When I see a movie compared to Hitchcock, I expect to see twists and turns and a plot that may not be completely plausible, but is surreal enough so that it doesn't matter. Flight Plan starts off really promising, and when they start bringing her mental situation into the picture, I got really excited about the possibility that maybe she WAS crazy, maybe she did come on the plane by herself. But then it spirals into a horrible Die Hard clone with enough plot holes and non-sense loose ends that I was thoroughly disgusted by the time the film was over. Sarsgaard as a U.S. Airmarshall was completely unrealistic, the guy looked like he was coked up pretty much all the way through the movie. If you've ever spent time with an airmarshall, they have a look, and this guy was not believable as one. Bean as the pilot was pretty good, it's unfortunate that he didn't get more screen time, but then, it's probably a plus for him that he didn't have to deal with more of this craptastic excuse for a plot than he did. I wanted to like this movie, the trailer I saw looked great, but it wasn't unfortunately. It ain't Silence of the Lambs, it ain't Taxi Driver, it ain't even Panic Room, which was mediocre at best. If they start releasing this in Superbit format in 18 months, I'm going to cry.

Batman Begins (2005)

Despite Bale, perhaps the best Batman movie ever

[9/10 · 23 September 2005]

I went into this movie not expecting a whole lot, it's not that I don't like Bale, I thought American Psycho was good, and Equilibrium was excellent and completely underrated and unknown, but I didn't see Bale as Bruce Wayne, especially a young Bruce Wayne. Well, I still don't really, but regardless, I thought the urban edge to the movie was a huge advancement over the Gothic to cartoon feel of the last 4 Batman movies. The primary villain was believable in that he used technology to create his alter ego, as opposed to falling into a vat of toxic waste or being horribly mutilated by some horrible wrong that was thrust upon him in his past. The Batmobile was amazing, and the car chase was right up there with some of the best on film. I immensely enjoyed the small yet important role Morgan Freeman played in the movie, and hope to see him again in the sequel. Michael Cane was awesome as Alfred as well. There were some variations from the classic Batman storyline, but most of the time, I preferred them to what came before. Liam Neeson was awesome, as always, and although I saw the twist a mile away, it was well developed and worked.

9/10, and I look forward to the next installment to the series, and hope they don't change a thing.

Thriller: A Cruel Picture (1973)

Good movie, but, like most 70s exploitation films, over-hyped

[7/10 · 20 September 2005]

I picked up the Vengeance Edition of Thriller today and watched it pretty much right after I got back from the store. While I enjoyed it, and think there's a lot to offer in this low budget film, I am a little confused about people talking about gore and brutality. I can only assume there must be quite a bit cut from this version other than the before-mentioned hardcore sex scenes, like him actually cutting out her eye, where in this version, you only see him with the blade right up at her eyeball and then it goes to the next scene. I'm curious to see a more complete version of the movie now, as this version seems to be very hacked and re-pieced together to make a more "U.S. Friendly" release. If not, I'm even more surprised that it's as tame as it is. Regardless, it stands on it's own as a good movie with a little cheese and too many slo-mo scenes during the gun and other fights (not too mention the girly-man screams of those being shot as they fall). Clockwork Orange it ain't, but I'm still glad I watched it.

Hulk (2003)

Flawed, but still highly enjoyable

[8/10 · 27 August 2003]

I didn't expect much from Ang Lee's interpretation of The Hulk mythology. I've never seen his previous movie, Sitting Tiger, Hidden Dragon, or whatever it was called. People say it was excellent, but I've never been remotely interested in seeing it. Regardless though, I went into The Hulk with the lowest of expectations, already tainted by the fact that Hulk would be completely CGI. Was I surprised? You bet. I enjoyed this movie immensely. Were there problems with the script? Sure, it's a superhero movie, there are always holes big enough to drive a Mac truck through in superhero movies. XMen, Superman, Spiderman, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, all had plot holes, all had issues which you can sit and nitpick all day and still not resolve them to everyone's satisfaction. Did this lessen my enjoyment of The Hulk? Absolutely not. People have complained that the first half of the movie is filled with boring, unnecessary setup before you get to see The Hulk for any real amount of time. I say these people need to go back and watch the series with Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno, and even read the original Hulk comics. The Hulk mythology is about Bruce Banner's struggle to separate his own life from The Hulk. It's about how his mutation affects his relationships with the people around him. There's a scene in the movie, which is shown in the previews, where Banner has a dream and is looking in the mirror and sees The Hulk, and The Hulk reaches through the mirror and kill him. That pretty much sums up the world he lives in, where he is constantly being pulled between being a normal, civilized human being that goes to a job, comes home, and does things that regular people do, or becoming a raging green monster that destroys everything it touches and has little regard for anything except its own core fury. This movie touched on that perfectly, and while I think Eric Banya may not have been the best choice for the Bruce Banner character, I think he did a more than acceptable job as far as stepping into the shoes of Banner for the first time. I eagerly look forward to a sequel, and hope that Lee is once again at the helm of this exciting, dangerous world of The Hulk.

Finding Nemo (2003)

Not Monsters, Inc., but still enjoyable

[7/10 · 2 June 2003]

I took my 2 kids to see Finding Nemo this morning. As Bruce Almighty would say, it looked B-E-A-utiful. Unfortunately, the storyline was not up to par with Pixar's previous efforts, and I thought the funny was few and far between (that's right, I said 'the funny'). I enjoyed Albert Brooks, who always gives a stellar performance, as well as Ellen DeGeneres. Brad Garrett using his Robert Barone voice as the blowfish was a great choice, but unfortunately there was too little of the witty action that you normally see in Pixar movies, and instead there's quite a bit of the tense action that you usually see in a Jurassic Park movie instead of a Pixar animation. I would rate this movie as being better than A Bug's Life, which I didn't care for, but not as good as either Toy Story 1/2 or Monsters, Inc. The teaser for Pixar's next movie and the animated short before the main feature were both great tho, and when all was said and done, I'm still not sorry that I went to see it. My 9 year old daughter didn't care much for it, but my almost 3-year old son liked it quite a bit. In the end, I would say to see it, if nothing else but for the incredible animation that is definitely a benchmark for pure CG movies (excepting Final Fantasy, but I don't hold that in the same category with Pixar or Dreamworks films). Enjoy it for what it is and you'll be fine.

Sexy Beast (2000)

This ain't Ghandi!

[29 May 2003]

The only reason to see this movie is for Ben Kingsley.

Having said that, this is one of the best movies out in the last 5 years, all because of Ben Kingsley.

I loved this movie, bought it on DVD, I can't believe more people haven't seen it. Do yourself a favor, rent it, put the kids to bed, fire it up, and enjoy the ride. Incredible movie, incredible actor, it doesn't get much better than this.

Dark Water (2002)

A classic horror title not to be missed

[10/10 · 3 March 2003]

First of all, let me address the neverending comparison of Dark Water to Ringu. There is a single scene near the end of Ringu that I don't believe will ever be matched when it comes to scaring the living daylights out of me. I literally moved few inches in my seat when it happened, and even though Dark Water has some fairly good scare scenes, nothing matches Ringu for that single scene.

Having said that, Dark Water is an incredible movie that offers more scares throughout than Ringu did. From the moment Ikuko and her mom walk into the apartment complex, you know the place isn't exactly right, and strange happenings are thrown at you frequently enough that it doesn't get stale for a majority of the movie. There are a few choice scenes that made me jump pretty good, and overall Dark Water keeps a consistently spooky tone that keeps you hooked until the very end. Some people weren't happy with the ending, and I tend to agree that it seems more tacked on than it probably could have. Having said that, I don't think it took anything away from the film and if anything it offered some closure that you don't normally see in horror films. I would highly recommend Dark Water if you were a fan of Ringu. Both films are spectacular examples of what movies that don't depend on blood and guts and scores of murdered teenagers can accomplish.

The Iron Giant (1999)

The best animated film to ever originate on U.S. soil!

[2 November 2002]

I took my daughter and a few of her cousins to see this when it was in the theater, and now my 2 year old loves to watch it on DVD. This is one of those rare films that I can watch over and over and during certain scenes I still feel a wave of emotion overcome me. The backdrop for this movie, the last 1950s, makes me long for a world where the Internet is not king, where there isn't a McDonalds and a Starbucks on every corner, where our kids aren't jammed into schools with 4,000 other kids on a regular basis, where crime isn't the standard instead of the exception. This movie does almost everything right. It tells an incredible story, and while certain messages can come across too heavy handed for my tastes, such as the references to guns, 99.5% of this movie is perfection in every way. I've seen some people complain about the use of foul language in this movie, to which I say to these people to realize that to wake up, foul language is a part of life, and the more you ban your kids from it, the more they'll use it when you're not around (Yes, your kids.). This movie was a complete and utter failure at the box office, which is nothing if not a travesty and a slap in the face to good, hard working animation houses while we keep dropping $8 a pop to see fluff like Lilo and Stitch and countless sequels to Disney movies in which the originals weren't very good in the first place. People treat movies like Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, and Toy Story like some sort of gods of animated features, while Iron Giant surpasses them all in every way. Will we ever see Iron Giant on an Imax screen though? No, Imax is apparently reserved for second rate mainstream junk like Fantasia 2000. It's sad that we live in a society where fans of "Walker, Texas Ranger" are the norm, and where a few lightly sprinkled 4-letter words can take an increidible movie into the dumper. If you have never seen Iron Giant, you owe it to yourself to experience it, not from the eyes of a religious zealot who only sees the world as church, car washes and private christian academies, but from the eyes of an American, someone who loves the world and takes everything in life as a challenge instead of trying to whittle away the "bad" things.

Odyssey 5: Pilot (2002) Season 1, Episode 1

In the vein of greats cut short like Nowhere Man and Space: Above and Beyond

[17 August 2002]

I had been vaguely interested in the previews for this show a few weeks before it came out. When the premiere came on I caught it out of luck more than anything else because I had no idea when the show was actually supposed to be on. **Possible Spoilers** Odyssey 5 tells the story of a group of 3 astronauts, 1 scientist, and a reporter who are aboard the space shuttle Odyssey performing maintenance on a satellite in Earth's orbit. The groundwork for the characters is laid down very well in the first 15 minutes of the show, and you get a good idea of what expect from each person and their personality. After completing their primary mission, they sit around and drink Dom chatting it up about the mission and other things. Suddenly they lose communication with Earth, are showered in a bright light coming from Earth's direction, and are then thrown backwards by a huge blast. Eventually they learn that the Earth has been obliterated and they prepare to die due to a lack of oxygen. Fate steps in and the lone survivor of an alien race whose planet was also destroyed offers to send their conscious minds back in time to their bodies 5 years before to figure out what happened and hopefully avoid it happening again. If this intrigues you, you should check out the show. Unlike the X-Files, that tended to skip the mythology section of the storyline except during sweeps, every episode of Odyssey 5 so far has addressed and focused on the storyline itself, moving the story forward. Hopefully they can keep up the plot and, also unlike the X-Files, not create so many hanging questions that it would be impossible to answer them all. All in all, the 9 episodes of this show I've seen so far have floored me. The family life of leader Chuck Taggert, played by the excellent Peter Weller, is a story in itself, and well worth the time to delve into. If you can't tell, I enjoy this show immensly and hope that it progresses through the entire 5 year run.

Vanilla Sky (2001)

Cameron Crowe, at his most intellectual...

[16 June 2002]

I had mixed emotions about the movie the first time I watched it. Like A.I., it was easy to miss the big picture by nitpicking the small things that seemed off. After watching it a second time I caught things that you normally wouldn't the first time through, and it made more sense and I ended up liking it. Not a pitch for people to buy it, because likely most people still won't like it after watching it again, but although they truly don't give any real indication of what the movie if about in the previews, I thought it was well made and thought provoking. What I am about to say will probably offend some people, maybe greatly offend them, but ahh well: I think if you polled the people who disliked versus liked this movie, there would be a pretty solid dividing line between popular/beautiful people who have used their looks and popularity to get them where they are more than their intellect of intelligence (not to say that popular/beautiful people aren't intelligent, but come on...) that don't like the movie and the average/physically flawed people that could watch this movie and think he was deserving initially but feel sympathy as well when it's all said and done. This is definitely a niche title, something that will not appeal to the masses ever, but well done nonetheless and is made to spark controversy in conversation I believe. Owe it to yourself to see it, regardless of your initial reactions to other's reviews or feelings regarding it.

Nowhere Man (1995–1996)

I weep to think of what might have been...

[5 May 2002]

Thomas Veil was a masterpiece of television characterization. A man who, in the blink of an eye, had lost everything that meant anything to him, a statistic is a cunning game played by unseen puppetmasters. Whether or not the gruesome photograph of 4 men being hanged in Vietnam was the true reason behind his situation, we will probably never know. What we do know is that by limiting this show to one season, UPN has deprived us of something magical, something thought provoking. In a world of yuppie trash shows like Cops and Seventh Heaven, few can appreciate, or even remember Nowhere Man and the mark it made on those of us who followed Mr. Veil from one waypoint to another in search of the truth.